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 Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 9:29 pm
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Build a bridge from America to Europe:
One day, Manfred (who was very religious guy) was walking down the beach.
At one point he said: “Oh god, please make my wish come true. One wish only…”. All of a sudden there was a thunderstrike and the god himself appears, saying: “Manfred, you’ve been a very good person your whole life. You’ve done many good things and helped others who were in need. I’ll be glad to do you a favor!”
Manfred (afraid of expressing his wish directly): “Well… My wish is very unusual… I don’t think you’ll be able to make it come true…”
God: “I’m almighty. I can do anything, especially because I know that you are a good man. You have a good paying job. You have a happy family with a wife and kids who love you very much. How can I help you?”
Manfred: “I’d like a bridge between America and Europe. And make sure that there are at least 6 lanes, so there won’t be any traffic jams. Furthermore, the bridge must have separate lanes for motorbikes, bicycle riders and pedestrians. And there needs to be a parking lot with hotels and restaurants every 100 miles.”
God replies: “A man can’t fulfill your wish, but I most certainly can. But think again for a moment. The ocean is almost three miles deep at some points. By building a bridge I might endanger the lives of other living beings… Manfred, I was expecting something less materialistic from you, since you are very understanding person…”
Manfred: “Okay, I have another wish. But I really don’t believe you’ll manage to grant me…”
God replies: “I am god! I can do anything!”
Manfred continues: “Okay…I’d like to understand women. I would like to understand, why are they sometimes in a bad mood without any real reason. What are they thinking about when they’re just looking at me and says nothing…”
God asks: “Well… what kind of lights would you like on that bridge again?”
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:03 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:52 pm
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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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