what i've written over the past few years.

[Mizarre]

She thinks its too late, “you can’t save me now.”

Her words felt cold as they left her mouth,

“I’m always gonna hate myself.”

I can see the pain is breaking her heart,

I look in her eyes and she starts to cry,

as she apologizes to me,

“sometimes, its too hard to hold inside.”

I still remember that little girl who used to smile and laugh,

before she faded away into someone angry and sad.

I hate that those times seem so long gone and far away,

a tragedy, that happened right before me.

I feel her suddenly hold on to my hand,

as she tries to help me understand.

“If I was ever to disappear or die,

no one would care enough to stop and realize.

the friends that are suppose to be in my life,

they never have the time.

And without anyone there for me,

I feel more dead than I am alive.”

I can feel the heaviness in my chest as my heart slowly sinks.

I’m right here in front her trying to fix things.

I’m here right in front of her, but she doesn’t see.

She’s far too blinded by this awful disease.

I try to tell her things will turn out okay,

but all I see is the disbelief when she looks back at me.

If only she would just try and come back down to earth,

let all of this pain go and just realize what she’s really worth.



SPIDER

i remember the boy i once called my best friend,
he was my world, i thought until the end,
no i was wrong and now i'm hurt,
i thought that maybe he would put anothers feelings first,
but he didn't and that's makes it even worse

everything was bright blue skies, then suddenly it turned grey,
it was just all lies. i still makes me feel like s**t from day to day,
yeah i still cry, but you wouldn't care anyway

i don't get too close to anyone now, even if i wanted to, i've forgetten how,
so i'm feeling real hallow in my chest., knowing everything was meaningless,
it caused me so much ******** distress.
if i had a cure for the pain i feel, would it be able to make me real?
cause i think i'm just make pretend, like i'm only a stupid plastic doll,
once i'm done being played with, i'm thrown away left to rot

everything i feel today, is because of what happened before,
and all the things i wish i could say, will never leave my lips,
cause you don't care enough to even listen,
if i'm nothing to you now, what was i to you then?
was i just little joke, you laughed at with your friends?

you made it seem so easy just to walk away,
leave me our everything, like it would be okay,
clearly our friendship meant nothing to you,
and i wish i knew that before my heart was on the floor,
all the pain i'm being put through from those days,
i wish i could escape the pain

you're like a spider in my eyes,
i can't believe i didn't see you're web of lies,
before i walked right into it,
its so amazing to know how heartless you really are,
i had no idea that you could trick someone so far,
you bit you're fangs right into my heart,
and then just left to die



LIVING WITH YOU
I can taste my life
slowly growing mold
I hate all the things
that I have to be told
Call me more names
and predict my life
I'm slowly bleeding
and its because of your knife
With nowhere to run or hide
I'm forced to hear it
And under my breath
I say how I hate this
Keep saying that
I'm just another you
When I haven't done anything
to fallow in your shoes
Keep saying that
I'm not ready for the world
I'm growing older
but somehow still a little girl
Did everyone you know
fallow after your words
Cause I'm not one of them
so why make me hurt?

Standing on the edge
and I can see
its a long fall to the ground
I feel like I could jump off
but I only keep starring down
Ask myself
is this what I want now?
Standing on the edge
and I can see
its a long fall to the ground
I feel like I could jump off
but I only keep starring down

You're always trying to tell me
what I'm turning into
I wish I could think
but its hard with all this s**t
I'm being put through
Please just stop
spitting you're doubts in my face
I need some time to breath
please just a little space
I keep wanting to smile
but its hard in this place
I can't hide away in my bedroom
you will yell through the door
I can't find away from you
and I'm so tired and sore
Must you keep coming back
to feed me more?
I just want to be alone
I don't want to talk over the phone
I can't take this
constant yelling in my ear
You know the ways
to work my tears
Are you happy with yourself
hurting everybody else?

I wish you could open your eyes
I wish you could escape and realize
You're mind has a hold on you
and there's nothing that anyone can do

Standing on the edge
and I can see
its a long fall to the ground
I feel like I could jump off
but I only keep starring down
Ask myself is this what I want now?
Standing on the edge
and I can see
its a long fall to the ground
I feel like I could jump off
but I only keep starring down

You suck the life
out of me these days
It gets so hard
to hold back and stand you
and even though I know
you don't mean
all the things you say
It still slowly chips me away
I try to focus on
your good intentions
but only find myself
in resentment
wondering how I go on with you
I don't know how we live with this
I stumble on my own thoughts
when I try to figure out
how I should cope with it
Situations hard to swallow
leaving us all feeling hallow
there's too much on our plate
we don't know how to escape



YOU, THE BETTER HALF OF OF MY HEART
when I know you are there
laying next to me
I get this feeling
deep down in my bones
and when I look at you
its like you already know..

you know I love it
the way you can
make my body shake
the way you touch me
the way you taste
with every kiss
you give and take..

I could never second guess
giving up the world
for you
I'd do anything
if it meant that I'd be
forever your girl..

no, I can't see it
us ever falling apart
knowing that you are
the better half of my heart
I find it kinda funny
since I've known it from the start
I'm gonna be yours forever
were so amazing together..

when I know you are there
laying next to me
I get this feeling
deep down in my bones
and when I look at you
its like you already know..

you know I love it
the way you
make my lips tremble
the way you touch me
the way you taste
with every kiss
you give and take..

sometimes I like to make-pretend
that my heart was a puzzle
and you were the only one
who could reassemble..

I could never leave you behind
my love is too strong for that
babe you are my whole life
I don't know what I would do
things would be so wrong
if I didn't have you..

I could never second guess
giving up the world
for you
I'd do anything
if it meant that I'd be
forever your girl..


PASS THROUGH
I used to believe that life would get easier as I grew older,
that maybe as time passed everything would find its better course,
but I started noticing that things only seemed to get worse.

I can't think of the last time one of my friends asked me to hangout,
I wish I could forget that good things never last,
I hate having to find things out on my own,
when its something I never really wanted to know.

If I can't be perfect then whats my purpose?
my grades can't seem to climb
school feels like such a waste of time
its just a constant reminder of the failure I've made of myself
it doesn't help having to watch everyone else
pass through like its so easy to do

I'll waste all my time away
I'm a liar fooling everyone, "Yeah I'm okay"
when its so damn easy to make up and pretend
but I know I'm always gonna be miserable in the end
I wish I could change what is
but theres no real easy way out of this
so don't wait up on me to throw my hands in the air
I'm already there and I'm too tired to care
making my way through the days
"Yeah I'm okay"

its a shame on such beautiful days
the sun shines but all I wanna do is just hide my face
its gets harder sometimes and I can't do it
try to block out these headaches and this awful place
I can try and steer my own ship
with days of nothing getting past hungry lips
pass through like its so easy to do


LEFT BEHIND
I'm feeling a little lonely
sometimes I need more than someone just to hold me
a friend to talk to would be enough
but I guess what I'm asking is way too much

I can remember when I used to have someone close
thinking that they would never go
maybe that I was worth staying around
but I was wrong and some days it still tears down

I am just the quiet girl
trying to stay out of everybody's way
hoping for the odd person to stop
maybe she'll want to talk
but until that day
I'll just keep waiting and wasting away
yeah times do get hard
somehow I've still managed to get this far

baby I wish everyone could see me through youre eyes
even though I hate that they can't
I know if they did that maybe they could realize
that I'm a good person on the inside
and give me a chance

ohh ohh
I hate having bitter nights when I can't dream
my thoughts won't let me fall asleep
just like tonight
these ever so sweetly 'what ifs' are sneaking up on me
maybe if I'd done things differently
would I still had been left behind

I am just the quiet girl
trying to stay out of everybody's way
hoping for the odd person to stop
maybe she'll want to talk
but until that day
I'll just keep waiting and wasting away
yeah times do get hard
somehow I've still managed to get this far


UGLY GIRL
sometimes I wonder why you love me
when you're holding my hand
I must have quite the personality
cause I don't understand
when theres so much better in the world
and I'm just an ugly girl

I wish I could believe I was great
I wish I could believe I'm as beautiful as you say
I wish I didn't need to disagree
I wish there was nothing wrong with me
but I know that will never change
I'm only human thats the truth of it all
I'm always gonna be the same

cause I'ved wished on every damn star
on that beautiful night sky
I've even started to believe
that they'v forgotten about me
I'm not worth enough for their magic
I see what they hold within that angelic shine
that keeps the sky glowing
reflecting off the hope in my eyes

stressful days wear me down
and I just want to clear out my mind
when school and worries have my better half
it gets so hard to figure out
I have no time to stop and laugh
its sad I can't think of the last time I have a


CHANGED, NOT THE SAME
why isn't it okay to had made mistakes
why can't some poeple believe i have changed
im not a bad girl
so why must i be alone in this world
where did the good people go
i hate that i think i know

my faults come back to make a bend
now i cant have any old friends
the ones that actually meant it
when they told me they'd always be there
why does life have to be so unfair

im trying my best to suck it up
think of ways i could fix it
but no matter what idea comes up
i slowly think that its stuck permanit
and i just cant understand
what would hurt giving a second chance

a bad influence
i hate having that name said over mine
i promise that i can show you who i really am
it just takes giving me the time
a little out of your day to show you i've changed
what do i have to say to show you i've changed


B.T
I just found a love
for the first time in my life
that treats me so good

I feel like it means something more
like you mean something to me

I believe this is real
not just someone to hold my hand
you're someone who listens
tries their best to understand
I can see it you show it

hold me close while I'm showing blue
you know exactly what to do
the times when I need you the most
you know exactly what to do

who would I be without..
what would I be without..
where would I be without..

I can't think about life
without you

♥


TINKERRBELL
I know what you want back.
I know something that you'll never have.
he's got his lips on mine.
wink
you made me bite my tongue.
your a b***h for trying to cut in.
it would take more than to ruin this.
wink
it really pissed me off.
I don't know where to begin.
I think you're a jealous slut.
and I can't believe I tried defending you.
you stupid peice of poo?
wink
your like the buz in my headphones.
ruining the sound.
nails on a chalk board.
screatching up and down.
wink
ps. im not a ******** are you? I thought I knew who you were.
Where are we? I thought we were in this together.
Now I'm choking on my tongue.
This shower isn't loud enough to mask my cries.
Sometimes I feel like I could die.

Today, just come to an end.
Maybe tomorrow I won't feel so broken, bent.
I hate this feeling that's been braught down on me.
Words have been put on my shoulders heavier than I can hold.
Why did I ask for something I didn't want to be told?

I don't want to face anyone!
When they see me, what goes through their heads?
What do they know? What have you said?
This hurts baby, you've hurt me..

Someone please, cut me from this rope.
I feel like I've been tied up by someone I don't know.
I don't know how I feel, but it sure isn't love.
My heart couldn't sink low enough.
Don't call my phone, right now I'd rather be alone.
Right now I'm feeling pretty struck.
And honestly, believe me, I wish I could say I didn't give a ******** I'm choking on my tongue.
Now I'm choking on my tongue.
This shower isn't loud enough to mask my cries.
Sometimes I feel like I could die.
Now I'm choking on my tongue.

I'M SORRY
I feel like a total queen b***h,
I can't believe I actually believed it,
someone else over you,
forgive me please,
maybe it will get me through this sarrow,
for today I'm here without you,
I hope that I'll be able to hold you close tomorrow.

baby I'm so sorry,
I should have but I didn't take your side,
and if I mean it that I really love you too,
why was there a choice for to me decide,
who was telling the truth,
when I should have just listened to you.

I'll take a breath and try to keep it real,
I'm trying to smile, fake it, block the guilt that I feel,
why can't I just believe whats said to me,
by someone I love, shouldn't that have been enough?
it would have saved us both so much pain,
if I'd just asked you to explain.

I guess its just me and yeah I'm sorry for this,
sometimes I just need to get a grip,
like why would you just wreck what we've made,
the boy that I know and I love wouldn't make that mistake.

I know and I should'v stop to think,
I can really get consumed in my own thoughts,
I worry and I wonder till it gets so bad,
I feel so lost, I feel so sad.

I'm missing you, my love, Pengu,
I'm really feeling down and low,
and for how I treated you yesterday,
what do I have to show?
I'm sorry and I'm letting you know..

I'VE HAD BETTER DAYS
so I'm thinking
I should probably keep my mouth shut,
maybe this is something
I should just write to myself,
but this is growing more and more
and its really getting tough,
I'm stuck inside my thoughts and its rough.
I never had any idea that by chance I could find myself lost,
again like how I am,
how I thought it was over before,
no matter how many times I say it is,
well its not, that's all I got.

I'm trying my best to keep it together
but maybe its getting a little too hard.
I'm feeling so down in blue, like I'm betraying you.
I'm acting like I'm fine, I used to do it all the time.
only reason that it hurts is
cause I know you'll be the first to feel the ache,
caused by the selfish choice I can't help but make..

will someone come and help me, trade me eyes,
or maybe something tragic will happen,
I'd just so happen die.
I don't really think like that though sometimes it sounds nice,
just to have an easier way out of this everyday fight.

I'm sorry I can't do it for you, I'm sorry I can't do it for me,
I'm sorry I'm not okay.
I'm sorry I didn't tell the truth, I lied about it going away,
but with you knowing, it wasn't easy.
I just wanted you to be happy, not to worry about me.


7 MONTHS
I guess its been 7 and were still keeping together,
calling each other penguin,
they're love is suppose to last forever.
so can you just,
tell me where you got your eyes,
I'm starring and I'm hypnotized.
skin on skin, lips on lips,
show me again how you can kiss,
I don't want to forgot your lips.
laying in bed,
your shoulder, my head,
music playing low,
the sound of your heart lets me know.
kiss me when you wake up,
fallen out from your dreams,
I'll pull up close, kiss ya back,
and we'll drift back to sleep.


PLEASEQUICKTHISISCRAZY
I hate these schools,
I'm stupid,
my grades tell me so.
I'm a failure,
I won't pass
In life,
I'll always come last.

I don't know what I'm gonna do baby,
I've been trying everything,
someone come on and save me.

please, quick, this is crazy.
you don't,
and you won't answer,
you're not a friend,
I'm sick of these stupid games
make believe,
like pretend,
that you'll be here till the end,
and I'll believe this,
as you feed it.

I hate these days,
I'm tired,
the bags under my eyes tell me so.
I'm an ugly,
I won't pass,
In life,
I'll always come last.

come into my room,
the only place I have to myself,
insult me,
I already wish I was someone else.

leave me alone,
I scream,
but you can't hear me.
there's no place like home,
I'll scream,
but I'll be lying.


WHO I USED TO BE
Came across a pair of my ripped jeans,
I decided to try on some of my old clothes,
they just don't feel right anymore,
I think now I know that's its not happening,
I'm not who I used to be.

I remember sitting in the room next to theirs,
wondering why they had so much fun, its not fair,
I was sick of it, being on the otherside,
so I made an offer that I knew wouldn't slide from these fingers,
I thought I had a tight grip.

My attempt to fit in just lead me to a habbit,
my friends were calling me an addict,
that its no ones choice but my own, don't do it or just go home.
I didn't understand their hypicrite hands slapping mine away,
no longer was I welcome to stay, that it was enough,
of course I just kept it up.

I had nothing left to show and nothing to left give,
I was sick of my life, I didn't care to live.
I didn't let anyone ruin my fun, I left all the people I had,
boyfriend at the time didn't like what I was doing, I even left him.

Came across some old friends,
I decided to try to fit into my old croud,
they just don't feel right anymore,
I think now I know that's its not happening,
I'm not who I used to be.

It hurts when I think back when I was so twisted up,
how no matter what I wanted to just get away from reality,
I remember I would get excited when I heard there was e,
when alcohol was mentioned, the next voice you heard was me,
what happened to me?

Curiosity I don't need my questions answered,
everything all seems pretty clear to me this time,
I don't really know anything but that I'm never going back,
I'm here at last, a sigh of relief fallowed by smile,
I found another way to get on with my days,
I'm not who I used to be.


WE CALL YOU CRAZY
things are going down again,
dont worry if you dont see me for a while,
ill be hiding away until things get better..

making visions of perfect family,
when will it be more than make believe?
oh oh my paranoid mother,
i know your unhappy.
its easy to see,
everything your going through,
but you dont know what to do,
no one listens to you.

i wanna talk about it but i dont wanna speak,
thinking about the whole situation coming back,
well it makes me feel weak,
im not really sick im just worried,
its so hard to get into details.

someone tell us what were suppose to do,
does anyone even have a cure for this saddness,
why cant it be as easy as one pill,
to get rid of the on coming maddness?
I feel it coming in this direction.

things are going down again,
dont worry if you dont see me for a while,
ill be hiding away until things get better..

trouble troube,
just leave us alone,
let us just have a happy home,
trouble trouble,
i thought you were gone for good,
but of course you came back,
i should have known you would.

so i guess we'll go back to ways before,
i know that soon you'll be knocking at the door,
we call you crazy,
the kind with a bitter taste taste taste.
cold snow wont keep you away way way,
i think as i watch it fall down from the sky,
in pretty little shapes,
lost in a moment of asking myself why.

wondering how my christmas will be,
along with the months after fallowing,
and i cant help but cover my eyes.
things are going down again,
dont worry if you dont see me for a while,
ill be hiding away until things get better..


YOU
I'd do anything for you,
just to keep you,
everything about you,
because I need you,
because I love you
Everyday I think about you
and our lives,
this life,
how I manage to survive;

as I write down how I feel,
to reassure you are enough,
there is a space inside,
filling over time,
with your love,
there is a place inside,
my heart,
that calls out your name;

something,
more beautiful,
than the earth, the sun, the sky,
life itself,
I feel when I look into your eyes,
as you look back in mine;

I'd do anything for you,
just to keep you,
everything about you,
because I need you,
because I love you,
Everyday I think about you,
and our lives,
this life,
how its you keeping me alive..


WATERFALLVAG
This is me,
I am speaking to you,
a person from my past,
talking about what went wrong,
why our friendship didn't last,
and while your lips move as you talk,
I'm looking the other way,
cause this conversation isn't going anywhere,
so what's there left to say,
if this friendships over anyway?

I'm sorry,
but I can't say that I miss us,
maybe its cause of my bad memory,
tell me what I'm losing,
from someone I barely trust?
I'm sick of the bullshit tears,
that you say you cry,
caused by sleeping around
& "love" with all those guys.

With all the drugs you've started doing,
I lost all interest in being your anything,
how could I still really call you a friend,
honestly I'd rather just not bother with you,
if it means that I'd have to pretend.

"I guess good friends don't last forever."
and you say that I'm pinning this on you,
maybe that this is for the better,
to finally start facing the truth,
and the truth is that what ever was then,
well now is through.


THOSE EYES
I felt you pass me by when I made the mistake of letting you go
Still, I ask myself why I ever let you go
That wind took you from me, so far gone away like the morning breeze
Into anothers arms

But I could never forget those eyes when I could drift away in yours

I should have just stuck through everything just a little more
Before I let you out of my reach, let you out of my world
A little too late and I pushed you away from me
Into anothers arms..

So this song is to my new chance
Just take my hand if you want to dance to this lovely tune
Our hearts humming out the beat
Making a sound so sweet

These are my seconds not too late.
I'm greatful that my heart you still want to take.
And I'm more than willing to give and make up for.
I promise I'll hold through to you if you do to say true

I remember you said that I was your reason
Finally found that way to escape and broken away from a fairies heart shaped locket
Took us being to together for you to be able breakfree and pop it

I'm not holding on too lightly but I'm not letting go
Could it be something for real cause I'm ready to know.
And when something just feels right I know that I've got to be close
Could anything break the way that this feels cause right now I'm head over heals..


TEENAGE INTOXICATED HEARTS
I couldnt get the taste of you from my mouth.
your kiss was like razorblades
slowly cutting through my tough love,
and I couldn't get enough of it.

I said drunk teenagers own this hill,
and in the distance
we saw bright city lights.
just like the moon in the smoke black sky,
we wont forget tonight.

stars start to shoot.
oh down back goes the booze.
soon our alcohol hits,
blurry vision fallows after this.
drunk touch and drunk bliss

feeling no reason hold back,
its from the poison of the booze.
slurs of truth "how much I like you"
spill from intoxicated hearts.
So this song is to my new chance
Just take my hand if you want to dance to this lovely tune
Our hearts humming out the beat
Making a sound so sweet


MY LEAVE
I was waiting for the sun to rise up,
But all that I've seen is this blinding black.
I thought everything was brightening up,
But then it all bounced back.

So heres my story about the heart I thought I had,
How everything was great and how they slowly turned bad.
This is why I dont want to speak out,
Cause I've got such an angry mouth.
I dont think these words are meant to be said,
You're someone that I call such a good friend.
Yeah I'm facing that some things turn out wrong,
I hate that this got me so upset when I saw it coming all along.
Just give me some time to hide myself and to find myself again,
Cause I hate feeling so exposed when I know that you know how I feel.

I was waiting for the rain to come down,
And wash away all this s**t.
I thought everything would turn around,
Once the water had touched it.

I wish I could have all the things that I ever wanted,
Instead I sit here as I'm taunted.
I hate that I'm forced to make myself look 'cause more I watch,
The more I'm shook.
I've decided that I'll leave and go far away,
It might just be the best thing.
I'm thinking that maybe some space from all this mess is what I need,
Cause here is clearly not helping anything.

I was waiting for the clouds to move,
And show me the sky.
I thought everything was going to work out,
And I don't know why.


MOM
I'm sorry that you missed so much
I'm sorry that we lost in touch

I'm sorry I don't say I love you
I'm sorry I don't try to

I'm sorry I won't let you touch me
I'm when you do I just get angry

I'm sorry I'm not that little girl from long ago
I'm sorry and I'm letting you know

I'm sorry
I'm sorry


BESTFRIEND, I THINK WE LOST IT
I'm sitting here in front of this computer screen,
trying to think of words that will mean anything at all.

I hope you know that I really miss everything about you,
and that I'm sorry that I've got to go away.
I loved having a twin with cute little nicknames,
talking to you about how we loved that we were so the same.
its not hard to see that things have really changed,
and I know its partly me to blame.

I know that you're going to be mad or upset,
but while you'll be reading this I'll be trying to forget.
my mind has made dreams out of these memories,
when I fall asleep its you that I see.
I'm trying to get these thoughts out of mind,
cause I know that the more I think of you,
the more I want to cry.

I don't look at that this as a waste of time,
but I guess its fair you see differently through those pretty eyes.

I want you to be happier than ever,
its your choice to remember me forever,
or never.
smile so hard that your cheeks start to ache,
cause that's the only kind of pain I want you take.
even though I know that I've hurt you,
its the last thing that I ever wanted to do.

this isn't till the end if you'll let me back again,
I just can't seem to handle this at the moment.
nut you know that I'll always I love you,
I just cant get this down,
and I'm sorry.
I promise.


WE ALL SLIP
Leave me wondering for the night where you are
No phone calls to reassure
What was going on when we were suppose to be together
I didn't know still I kept myself together

I felt the cold side of truth when I spoke to you
And I'd wished you'd lied
You did something you promised you wouldn't do
What you told me never even crossed my mind

I'm sure your sorry when you say it like oh well
Its the s**t like this that doesn't make me feel well
At least you didn't act like you cared

Tell me you're doing it again tonight
2 times in 1 go
Thanks for the update, for letting me know
At least now you'll know I'm scared

Take my trust away as you swallow your pills
As the tears in my eyes begin to fill
That trip better last, it better be amazing
Cause right now this is betray that I'm tasting

Leave me wondering for the night if your okay
No phone calls to reassure
Do you know whats going through my head as I lay awake
Cause this is just a little too much to take


HOW LONG?
My little heart isn't getting much stronger,
but I'm trying to keep my head up.
I don't know if I can hold it much longer,
one person just isn't enough love.
Man I'm going crazy in this house,
cause I'm here all the time.
If I had somewhere to go,
maybe I'd actually like my life.
But I don't cause I'm alone,
I've got a big lack of friends,
and the one I thought was close,
well that came to end.
Maybe I just need to try a little more,
but I'm scared cause every time I do,
I'm left hurtin n' sore.
There's nothing that could make it better,
what I dont to take,
and tell myself its probably for forever.
Just how long till' I'm not this mess,
cause I miss it that happy feeling,
why did it have to leave?
when it was my turn to start revieling,
youre eyes were off me.
This keeps taking away my breath,
what I dont want to face,
and I tell myself its probably for the best.
Just how long now till' I'm put to rest?


HIS SONG
I couldn't get them out of my head;
the words to the song you wrote for me
and then I started noticing,
Never was it so easy
to just smile and not be faking

And it only feels like I should,
I'm sure we both knew I would
write you one back,
cause I'm just one to do that.

I built something meant to save me,
cuase I was afraid from the past times
But somehow you broke love through
and when I finally opened my eyes,
I was looking right at you

I was up the same building all my life,
being pushed down over the edge,
by breakups and lost friends
and just climbing back up again,
Until I finally fell into your arms,
this time I wasn't shoved
left me breathless and unharmed
and only loved

You make it so easy
just so damn easy
you make it so easy
And I can't say it enough.
like you make it so easy
just so damn easy
Being in love


HEART STAINED
Keep me on my toes
until youre in my arms again
Cos when youre gone
it seems to feel like forever
just making it so much better
when were back together
I know how I feel
Something hard to ignore
but im afraid to explain
say how its growing more
Even if i tried to
id choke on my tongue
Go quiet from fear of what youd say
of the looks that you might give
dont want to rush you away
I dont want to be left
stuck in a pause
not knowing what to do
cause im afraid of the truth
That fear keeps my most meaningful words
from finding their way through
out of my lips and said to you
And if I ever get the guts
to finally open my mouth
Will you be one to pull right on through
and it will all work out
I still dont know and now im scared to think
as the way that i feel is starting to sink
deeper down and staining my skin


GIVE IT BACK TO ME
Stop telling me to speak up,
Not be afraid.
When this has been how I am my whole life,
I am not brave.
You keep saying how its such a shame,
As I beg you to just go away.

I'm a little fake on some of the days,
Everything just blends so well in with the smiles.
When it really feels like my armor has been ripped from my body,
I'll be there waiting for someone to find me.

Cold chills, shakey hands,
Some of myself I don't understand.
Headaches, stomach pains,
Will I ever control myself again?

Cold chills, shakey hands,
Some of myself I don't understand.
Headaches, stomach pains,
Why do I do this?..

What you're witnessing is a fight against a sad no one else,
A war I've started with myself.
Take it away for a couple of months,
let see what I'd become.
When I found out the number I've went up,
It was just too much.

Just give it back to me
Just give it back to me
What I used to be
Give it back to me


HER ESCAPE
I'd pushed my heart under the bed,
as I thought I'd lost all use for it.
walked around like nothing meant anything to me,
like I was hallow or something..

Sick of my sore arms, my sore legs,
sharp glass and broken ends,
kept telling me "I'm your friend.."

I was looking for an answer..
I was only leading another escape,
too sad and not thinking,
I slowly embraced..

But her head down, shrugged shoulders,
disapeared when he held her...

Deeper than ever,
trying to find the answer,
something to end my sarrows..
too sad to realize what I was doing,
just leading another escape today,
embracing it with hope for a better tomorrow..

Again left weak and hurt,
almost given up..
nothing ever seems to work,
never enough..
with mind in the worste of places,
she still manages to hold her staright faces..

But her head down, shrugged shoulders,
disapeared when he held her.
After this boy came around,
things began to get better,
like being lifted from the whole in the ground,
I thought I would have been in forever..


FAITHFUL ISN'T HER THING
Girl, you're not even worth the tears he hides in those eyes
You may have had him hanging by your strings,
But you'll never realize what you left behind,
What you have really lost
Because honestly..

Connected to your lies,
you had him as good as blind
Instead of saving the hurt,
you kept his heart in the palm of your hand
And I'm wondering what part of faithful
don't you understand?

Did it make you feel better
when you told him you needed to be alone
to be able to find yourself
When what you really wanted
was a reason to go ******** somebody else

You may have had him hanging by your strings,
But you'll never realize what you left behind,
What you have really lost
Because honestly..

Why not just
twist his feelings right of tact?
How could someone
bring themselves to do that?
When he couldn't get you out of his head,
you were off in some others bed
When he had hope with you trying to cope
'with your issues'
How could you do that s**t and still let him kiss you?

Wasted some of his heart
when you just turned out to be another whore
Some girls are just stupid and that's with you included
You're not worth crying for
Cos anything that could of been there
is nothing but no more
Friendships been thrown out the door
Along with any feeling he had for you before

You may have had him hanging by your strings,
But you'll never realize what you left behind,
What you have really lost
Because honestly.. it is your loss


DON'T WAKE ME UP
Can you please just light me up again,
I need another to escape this day,
I hope after this that I'll be able fall asleep.

I'm tired of the nightmare that I face,
when I'm still awake,
I feel like this is anything but a lullaby,
when I ask to keep it passing back,
to leave me with blood shot eyes.

My body shivers in a heated room,
something I can't explain,
I feel the goosebumps on my arms,
and I won't complain.

Lay me down in your warm bed,
wrap your arms around me,
hold me tight and set me FREE.
Ohh please,
Lay me down in your warm bed,
wrap your arms around me,
hold me tight and set me FREE.

In my sleep; this is what I see,
all my worries fall away from me,
So don't wake me up!
Don't wake me up! Only to die,
Don't kill my lullaby..
So don't wake me up!
Don't wake me up! Only to die,
Please not tonight..


DEAR EX BESTIE
Friendship
We had it
But now we act as if we hadn't
We didn't get through our issues
And now what was is down in the tubes
Having to know that we both just drifted
It still hurts to see you
Knowing that I can't just be like the way we used to
It wouldn't kill either of us to say hello
Ask how the others doing
I guess its like we both don't care enough to know..
And to be honest
I couldn't think of the last time we spoke
Or any words that last been said
Is it just me
Or is this bestfriend thing just totally dead?
Btw I miss you a lot
And that's all I really know what to say
But that it really sucks it had to end
Cause I miss you as a friend


AIDEN
I watched you get closer to the edge,
as if you wanted me to let you go,
"just let me go through with this,
just let me go through with this.."
you're so full of it.

Oh Aiden,
hide your teary eyes,
cross your heart,
I hope you'll die..
Oh Aiden,
take those pills,
after that many,
they'll for sure kill..

Never thought I'd be the one who'd be okay,
and I never thought I'd be the one,
trying to make another stay,
but there I was begging you,
hoping something I said would make it through..

I watched you fall apart more and more,
remembering things you've said,
"I just want to be dead, let me be dead.."
your so full of it.

Oh Aiden,
I finally finished my plate,
swallowed all that you gave me to chew..
Oh Aiden,
aren't you happy that I ate?
I even choked on the suicide attempt you tried to make..

I said I didn't want to let you go,
until you opened your eyes,
not to push me away and roll over and die,
but I didn't realize,
what I was getting into,
until I saw the otherside of you.