Any Ideas?

[BlutWolfV_V]

I need some advice. I want to explain something to someone. It's not a big deal or anything (at least not to me and probably not to most of you, either), but I'm afraid they're going to start jumping down my throat about it before I get it out. The person is somewhat stuck in their ways, so it may seem like a big deal to them. I've tried to explain, somewhat, times before, but they were convinced about what they thought and didn't want to listen to me. Any ideas on calm ways to get them to listen (as in no yelling or anything like that)?  

[doom1000]

It would be easier for us, to give you some advice, if we knew what you talk to them about.  

[BlutWolfV_V]

Oh yeah, sorry. My bad. I was trying to hurry up and post stuff and get off of here, so I didn't say anything detailed... at all, I see. Ok, so here goes:

I wear a lot of black. My mom complains about it often, saying "Don't be one of those devil worshipers" and things like that. By "devil worshipers", she means goths. She thinks they're all bad people in some kind of cult, I guess. And I consider myself a goth. Well, she doesn't know that...
Every time the subject comes up, I try to explain to her that not all goths are devil worshipers. Goth isn't a cult, it's a lifestyle. And they're just people who have a different outlook on life or feel outcasted and like to be what others call "different" (well, that's how I see it). When I try to tell her that... well, I can't really get any of it out before she drops it. My mom's one of those "old-school mamas", and she's somewhat stuck in her ways.
So basically, that's what I want to tell her next time the subject comes up. But I'm thinking after (if I ever do before I'm grown) I get it out and tell her I consider myself a goth, she'll still go down my throat even after I've explained. Any advice on how to talk to her?  

[doom1000]

The Cure. Go talk to her about the band; The cure.

Many many many people, both goths and non-goths listens to this band, and i have so far NEVER heard about ANYONE who considered them satanic. As far as i know, they were (or at least Robert Smith was) regulars at the Batcave in London.

If that dosnt work, try to print out some of the Cruxshadows lyrics, and have your mother read them, without telling her that its a gothic band (dont mention the name either). As pretty much everyone in here know, they are christians and that is often reflected in their lyrics.

If that dosnt work.... well, i dont know what then...  

[Sadist Sagittarius]

doom1000

If that dosnt work, try to print out some of the Cruxshadows lyrics, and have your mother read them, without telling her that its a gothic band (dont mention the name either). As pretty much everyone in here know, they are christians and that is often reflected in their lyrics.

A significant portion of their lyrics are about Egyptian mythology.
Besides, they're not really a goth band.  

[doom1000]

Sadist Sagittarius

doom1000

If that dosnt work, try to print out some of the Cruxshadows lyrics, and have your mother read them, without telling her that its a gothic band (dont mention the name either). As pretty much everyone in here know, they are christians and that is often reflected in their lyrics.

A significant portion of their lyrics are about Egyptian mythology.
Besides, they're not really a goth band.

[irony]oh please let me live in denial.... i beg you. I love it so much. dramallama [/irony]

Well, to be honest i dont really care what ever or not they are goth. But many people who consider them self goth listens to them. And many people who listens to them, consider them (the band) to be goth. Also, they have performed at WGT alot of times by now, and its a well known fact that they ARE christian. I was just thinking for some one who dosnt know sh*t about goth, theese guys would be good to convince her that goth is not satanic or a big cult.

You got any better ideas ?  

[BlutWolfV_V]

Oh, yes, I've heard of both of those bands. I just haven't had a chance to listen to them myself. Thank you people who have posted so far.

Edit: I just thought of an idea of my own. I was thinking of making a poster listing some of the top stereotypes about goths and why they're false (or partially false, but it's still false, right?) and putting it on my wall. Not for just my mom to see, but for others also. The only real reason she's afraid of me becoming a goth (I already consider myself one, she doesn't know that) is because she believes the stereotypes. Maybe seeing that will change her mind. What do you guys think?  

[doom1000]

your welcome.... if you decide to use my idea, please post the results.... i would like to know what ever or not if it was a good idea or not....  

[BlutWolfV_V]

doom1000

your welcome.... if you decide to use my idea, please post the results.... i would like to know what ever or not if it was a good idea or not....

ok, I will.  

[BlutWolfV_V]

Ok, so I did end up making the poster 2 days ago. Well, it's not really a poster; it's a piece of orange printer paper with colorful writing on it. The title is "5 Common Misconceptions About Goths and Why They Don't Apply to All of Them". I know it's long, but the ones I put up there seriously don't apply to all (probably not even most except maybe 1). I gave full explanations why they don't (stuff in the brackets isn't it) and used things she certainly knows (and others know) about me as an example. These are the 5 I chose to put on there:
1.They're devil worshipers (most aren't, I think)
I'm a Christian.
2.They always wear black (that one's not a big deal, but Mom always says I wear it too much, so that one's for her)
I've told her many times the main reason I wear black often is because I sweat excessively (so the pit rings won't be so obvious)
3.They're obsessed with death (hey, some may be)
I'm quite happy to be alive
4.They're suicidal or violent ((some people out there
unfortunately are suicidal (including 1 of my friends) or extremely violent)
You don't see me trying to kill myself or seriously harm others
5.They're negative (pessimistic) (this one's for Mom too because she doesn't like to be around people who are always negative)
I think of the good and the bad
Mom finally noticed it this morning. I don't think she read the whole paper, but I did notice her mouthing the title as she read it. I'm not sure if it was because she had just awakened or because she has stopped believing the stereotypes and misconceptions, but it didn't seem to faze her that she saw the word "goths" written on something on my wall. Even if she had just woke up, that would wake her up as soon as it caught her eye. So I really think she's over them. But I am still considering the band idea.  

[BlutWolfV_V]

Thanks again people, but I think I'm good now. I really do believe that my mom has stopped believing what she thought was true about goths and she's beginning to accept that I am one. She even wants to start getting used to some of the music I listen to (most of it's not what people would call "goth music", but she doesn't like rock, alternative, or metal and stuff like that).
I think what caused the change was that she really thought about something she already realizes: I'm getting older. It doesn't mean I don't have to do what she says (that's what some kids think); I do what she says most of the time, anyway. It not only means I'm changing physically, it means I'm growing mentally also. I believe that was it.  

[doom1000]

problem sovled ? HOORAAYY!!. who says that the internet cant provide problem solutions wink

ChildoftheMoon14

(most of it's not what people would call "goth music", but she doesn't like rock, alternative, or metal and stuff like that).

Im not exactly sure about what you mean. Do you consider metal for goth'ic or ?

chances are that you all ready got the "metal-not-goth" preach, but just in case you haven't, ill just list the basics, before some elitist-gother-than-thou do it.

not goth
nightwish,
marilyn manson
HIM

real goth

bauhaus
sisters of mercy
siouxsie and the banshees

Not that you all of a sudden need to throw out all you're metal records, and spend all your money on every single bauhaus cd ever released. Just listen to what you like.  

[BlutWolfV_V]

doom1000

ChildoftheMoon14

(most of it's not what people would call "goth music", but she doesn't like rock, alternative, or metal and stuff like that).

Im not exactly sure about what you mean. Do you consider metal for goth'ic or ?

What I mean is my mom doesn't really like rock, alternative, metal, etc. period. Not just music that people call "goth music". The other music genres I listen to my mom can get with, just not the ones (or ones like them) I mentioned.