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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 5:33 pm
nightshroud20 i really want to win the rp for terriermon[will trade for terreirmon i will give you ebiburgermon]and i do not want to go all the way back to page 15 sweatdrop so here goes a new customor came into the burger break sushi .his name was terriermon.he was a rich man who wanted to find one perfect sushi.ebiburgermon came over and said''Welcome Night get this customor a drink of water stat''.Night brought the water.the rich man slapped the water and said'' I have been traveling file island for this''.Night knew there was only way to satisfy this customor he had without the chiefs help but he was only a waiter what could he have done to make perfect sushi when the chief ran sxreaming out of the room then he thought'' i can do this'' .Night ran to the kitchen and started trial and error.then after countless tries he made the perfect sushi.it was glowing with golden syakomon peals,colemon salmon,and shellmon seaweed.Night put it on the table .everyone was silent even ebiburegermon terriermon took a bite and droped his stiff ears down and screamed''WOW THIS IS AMAZING''!he thanked the chief but night tried to explain but terriermon was gobbling down on the sushi like a keramon eating a data base.he ordered 100 perfect sushis from night himself.night was flattered but he said i am not fit for the chief position i just want to be waiter.ebiburgermon said''you sure you want to give up being the chief''.night said''yes i am he hurried to another customor and said''can i take your order''. yes a longer version Terriermon's Customer Review: Service (Creativity): 7/10 (Good idea ^^ However, it would've been a bit better if there started with a bigger problem ^^) Taste (Content): 7/10 ( I loved how you based it off the perfect sushi part of the contest ^^ However, you could have played out the idea for a bit longer before the problem was solved.) Presentation (Grammar/Spelling): 6/10 (A few capitalization errors and some misspellings. There should be a space after the periods as well.) Total: 20/30
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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 5:34 pm
GrandMaster Draco_Lord OK I am done. here is my RP. The ending is a little open ended. But I think it is cute. “Damn. Damn. Damn”
Renamon cursed as she ran through the streets. It was her first day of work and she was late already. If only she hadn’t bumped into that jerk of a digimon. It is all his fault.
Renamon had been on his way out from class, when she turned a corner and bumped into Terriermon. The jerk had just looked at her and said, “What where your going.” Before he started to walk on. Renamon had exploded at that, yelling at him for the next 10 minutes about his manners and how it was entirely his fault. And now she was late!
Renamon managed to get to her job just minutes before the café opened. It was a fairly regular café, serving ice cream and cakes and the like. The only thing that made it different the most others is that it was a Maid Café.* Renamon was a little embarrassed to work there, but she needed the money to pay for her school fees. It was on the other side of town, so no one at school should recognize her. If they did… her reputation would be destroyed. But everything should be fine.
Renamon quickly got changed, and was told to wait by the door. This was the final test; if she could please her first customer she got the job. She heard the bell go off, the door opening. She bowed. “Welcome Master.” She said, looking up to see Terriermon standing there. Her eyed twitch in anger.
Renamon was about to destroy Terriermon; he must never talk to anyone about this. Then she remembered her job, and more importantly her school. She stood back up, her smile staying strong. Terriermon just stared at her for a moment before breaking out into a grin. “Thank you servant. Now please take me to my table.” He said, clapping.
Renamon stood there for a moment, her anger burning like a fire. This little… no she couldn’t. She managed to keep her smile on as she turned. “Follow me,” She said, managing not to hiss. “Master.” Terriermon just smiled as he sat down. A ‘This was going to be fun’ look running across his face.
Renamon sighed as she left her ‘master’ alone to look at the menu. She couldn’t believe her luck. “When it rains it pours.” Her mother’s voice repeated in her head, truer words were never spoken.
Terriermon waved at Renamon, motioning for her to come over. Renamon growled as she put on her smile, the manager, an AngeWomon, was watching her. “Yes master? What can I get for you?”
“The Cutie Pie Omelet.” He said, knowing exactly what that meant. Renamon had to write out her feelings, in as cute away as possible. Renamon bowed to Terriermon. “Certainly Master.” She said turning, a glint of evil in her eye.
The chief had prepared the omelet in a few minutes. Renamon still smiling darkly as she picked up the sauce, writing out just how she felt.
Renamon returned to Terriermon, placing the omelet before him. The word Annoying written on it in large letters, the i was dotted with a heart, and there even was an heart shaped exclamation point at the end. Terriermon looked up at Renamon, something she didn’t recognize in his eyes, as he looked back down. He seemed a little upset. “Thank you. That is all.”
Renamon turned away. She had expected to feel something else, instead of this guilt. It should have given her joy. He should have been upset. But instead he seemed down. Renamon hung her head she shouldn’t have done that.
Renamon watched Terriermon sit there as he ate her omelet, leaving the heart that dotted the i sighing a little. Renamon blinked in surprise. He couldn’t… like her? Could he? She blushed as she thought about it. It made some sense, he followed her, tried to talk to her after school, though he shouldn’t have acted like he did when he entered the shop. Maybe he was just a little shy.
Renamon sighed as she turned around, she might never forgive herself for this. She picked up a bowl, preparing one of the most expensive items on the menu. The Chit Chat Sunday. It was just a small bowl of ice cream, barely one and a half scoops. But the Maid who brought it would sit with you while you ate it, and talk with you.
Renamon walked over to Terriermon, she could see his eyes had watered a little. He was sorry. “Here. It is on the house.” She said, smiling at him.
The End.
*A Japanese café where the waitresses dress up like maids while they serve you. Calling you master and such.Terriermon's Customer Review: Service (Creativity): 8/10 (Really creative ^^ Good idea, throwing a love story into it ^^) Taste (Content): 8/10 (I loved it ^^ The ending was open-ended, which I think is both good and bad. I would have loved to have read further, but it was also a gerat place to end it. Also, you were deducted a bit for not following instructions completely. It was supposed to be a waiter/waitress at Burger Break) Presentation (Grammar/Spelling): 9/10 (Had two or three typos) Total: 25/30
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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 7:24 pm
Damn... my lack of reading instructions has doomed me again.
Though... on a technically note I never did name the place... but I guess I had things that weren't burgers... so yeah I didn't read the rules.
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Posted: Thu May 27, 2010 7:24 pm
Burgermon: Zero_Hime Ebiburgermon: Nightshroud20 Terriermon: HTPNDino
Choose to keep your digimon, trade it, or give it away ^^
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Posted: Fri May 28, 2010 3:08 am
Trading Terriermon with Nightshroud20 for Ebiburgermon~ :'D
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Posted: Sat May 29, 2010 10:59 am
i'll trade my ebiburgermon for terriermon
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 3:59 pm
Nightshroud: It woudln't let me reply to your PM cause it says you enabled only friends to send you PM's but to accept a trade request is to like quote and say "I accept" o 3o I think xD haha
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Posted: Sun May 30, 2010 7:22 pm
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Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 11:42 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 5:27 am
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Posted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 7:41 am
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