Looking to further my own skill in literacy with my roleplay

[Muse_of_the_Soul]

★★
♡のⓛⓞⓥⓔ♡
Hello all. I'm AlBhedSycdan, and I have been a roleplayer for nearly a year now. Started as one of these:

My Original Style: An Excerpt

*smiles, hugging her* It'll be okay. I promise. I'd never leave.

to this:

My Updated Style: An Excerpt

His hair blew gently in the wind, as he embraced her close to his body. "I would never leave you..." Haru said, his voice brimming with a tone that could only hint at honesty. "So don't worry... If I say I'm staying, I'm staying." A confident grin filled his face as he looked down to her dark chocolate-colored eyes.

I changed my style because I found I too was a literate roleplayer by nature. However, I'm still unsatisfied with my roleplaying style, as I feel it can be enhanced, however I'm not sure as to how. So anyone who can give me advice, tips, or other bits of help, please do. However, the only thing I will not do is multi-para, as this takes too much time to type. I also will not do one-liners, as these are too dull for responses.
♡のⓛⓞⓥⓔ♡
★★

 

[FebruaryLiege]

The only thing that I would suggest would be to try to get more than one thing done with each post.

Your updated style is decent to say the least, but as I stated before, try to do more than one thing in each post, so instead of just hugging and saying something, expand on what you want to do or advance just a bit further. I've found myself doing what you're doing when I first started RPing.

TryThisInstead

His hair flowed gently with the wind as he embraced her close to his body. "I--," he paused for a second to consider if he really felt the emotions he was about to expressed. He continued, "I would never leave you... I swear..." His quivering voice gave away how nervous he was, but the look in his eyes showed how heartfelt his words were. He clenched her hands and gazed into her dark chocolate-colored eyes. "So please... Don't worry... If I say I'm staying, I'm staying..." His voice trailed off as the last word left his lips. He smiled and looked at the girl once more. "I won't ever leave you... I promise..."

Another suggestion would be to keep a notebook and while waiting around or trying to fall asleep, just take that notebook out and try to write up your RP post before hand. I tend to do this for higher level RPs, so depending on the situation and the time restraints, keeping an RP notebook wouldn't be a bad idea.  

[Muse_of_the_Soul]

I see. This was just a quick excerpt; my posts actually get more than this done, and are usually between 8-10 sentences long, minus the dialogue. This was just a quick comparison of my styles, both old and new.

As for advice, that is good idea when it comes to the RP notebook. To be honest, I do that at times, but only during the major RPs.

And I lol'd at your sig.  

[Silver-Lined Clouds]

If you would like, I would enjoy a one on one role play of your choice. I could coach you if you wish. I would like to broaden my horizons as a mod, I am learning just like you. XD

If you want to role play with me, send me a PM. We can talk about that then.  

[FebruaryLiege]

I'm glad someone finally took it as a joke lol.
As far as the notebook goes, take your time. When I get down to my uber serious RP's it can get quite tedious. One of my posts took up quite a few pages (most of which I lost to be honest razz ) and I never really got around to posting it razz . So try to keep stuff in order and organized.
I wouldn't mind seeing a full RP post of yours. Mind if I ask for a sample?  

[Muse_of_the_Soul]

Well, if either of you wish to roleplay to see my capabilities, could one of you send a starter? Any genre is fine with me.  

[FebruaryLiege]

I'll be quite busy for the remainder of the month as I am graduating on the 29th. I will try to squeeze in an RP or two into my time. Would you like a prompt so you know the general story or would you rather have an actual starting post?  

[Muse_of_the_Soul]

Either will do; take your time. I understand the frustrations of graduation and the time it takes to actually get everything in order. :3

Also, I want to start a group roleplay for Full Metal Alchemist. Is anyone interested?