◄◄◄WEEK ONE►►►
Thursday
2/4/2010
Day Four
Not feeling well at all today.
I'm weak and sore all over, especially in the chest, shoulders and lower abdomen. It might be one of those 24 hour sicknesses that crop up once in a while. I don't feel hot anymore, though I do feel awfully tired. Unfortunately I will not be getting my workouts in. I've been thinking hard on this matter since last night and I think that, of all I've put myself through in the last few days after being inactive for so long, I need a little break.
I've gotten plenty of rest. Mostly I've been in the bedroom with the cats or on the couch, watching shows. I did my chores. I forgot to take the vitamin. It's so late now I'd rather wait until tomorrow anyway.
My companion brought me cookies, ice cream and a Rockstar. Dear GOD. The energy drink is fine. I've come to enjoy several of its flavors. The ice cream, as bad as it is, I requested of him last night. Though it's loaded with calories, ice cream has never seemed to affect the number on the scale, unless I eat a whole lot within a week or two. But one little pint of Ben&Jerry's? Nah. There's no danger in that seeing as how I can't afford it very often. I feel awful having asked for it but I really need it. So many days without chocolate or sweet things is driving me absolutely nuts. Just a few hours ago while I was waiting for him to come home I started tearing through the kitchen, looking for anything that would take the edge off this persistent sugary obsession. There was a little can of sprinkles in the cupboard above the coffee pot. I seriously stood there staring at it for minutes, debating on whether or not I wanted to chew on them. When I realized what I was doing I was able to turn away. I had a conversation with myself then. How desperate can I get? Eating effing sprinkles? No. I will not go there, and I'm glad I didn't have to.
Earlier today I had veggies, cheese and 100% fruit bites. A little while ago I had some of my companion's pizza sub. He brought home a foot long and I had half of one of the 6-inch sections. I was trying not to touch the cookies at all. I had 2 though. They came from his work. I only had about a third of the ice cream. That's really great for me, considering I can eat a whole pint of Ben&Jerry's in one sitting. It may take me an hour, but honestly, I usually don't get up until it's gone. Now that it's back in the freezer I don't even have the urge to finish it off. Some for tomorrow. Yay!
My greatest concerns right now are the calories I'm eating and the possibility that this weakness won't be gone by morning. I sure picked the wrong day to abolish my cravings. I can't burn off the extra calories. I may not be able to tomorrow either.
