Cold needs some crits [updated 2/19/10]

[VineTabris]

I suppose this will be my thread then, eh?
Ah well.

Right now I just need crits on two pieces, that would be these:


I'm going to use this as a banner for my art shop. I plan to add more color once I'm finished working things out.
Right now I need help mostly with the hand, as I can't seem to get it right.
If there's anything else wrong with it, please let me know.



Bayonetta. I've been playing a lot of it. Love her. So, I'm drawin' her.
Keep in mind, this is just the sketch that I'm going to paint over later, so details will come later as well, but it's good to have a solid foundation, eh?
Anyway, I feel like something's off, and I want to know what you guys think.
I feel that her torso is a bit stiff, but I don't know how to fix that.
If you guys want to offer crits, redlines, or suggestions on any part of the pic, it's fully welcomed, I just want to get this sketch to be solid before I start painting.

Quote:

About Me: I'm 20 (too old for Gaia? Yes. Stubborn as a cow? Yes.), and I work as an art mentor for middle school kids in a non-profit after school program (mentors need mentoring too from time to time, eh?). I'm currently attending college, and I hope to be a comic book illustrator in the future, if not, I'd be perfectly happy as an art teacher. I love teaching art, makes me feel useful. I've been drawing since I've been able to pick up a pencil. That doesn't necessarily make me good at it, but I do have a certain passion for it, so I'm always willing to learn.

 

[no surrender]

I love the dynamic pose.
There were some things that I though may be hard to explain so I did a redline, here .
The biggest problem is her right leg. It is twisted in an angle that would hurt really bad (just try standing like that yourself) I suggest shifting it as you can see in the redlines. I tend to make people less skinny then you so sometimes my redlines will be a bit fat for yours. razz Her left leg just needs to be a bit longer, also there are a group of muscles underneath the thigh, so instead of going up and coming down at the knee, they should go down and then up towards the knee.
Her left breast is a bit to large, and her head is slightly to small.
The hair looks very dynamic and hairlike. It's very good. :>
Good luck!  

[VineTabris]

Thanks a bunch for the redline and suggestions (the link you posted was wrong, but I found the redline on your photobucket anyway), they were very useful. I've updated the original pic a bit. I did everything you suggested except for repositioning her right leg. I had her leg in that position before, and I didn't really like the outcome. However, I will tweak it a bit and try to make it look more natural.
Thanks again.  

[Anpu the black Seraph]

For a preliminary sketch it looks awesome to me. I can't wait to see the finished piece.  

[26NinjaFishy26]

Wow that is really good. biggrin How long did it take you to make that?  

[VineTabris]

@Anpu: Thanks

@Ninja: The Bayonetta sketch took about 2 1/2 hours, I suppose. Like I said, it's just a sketch.
I'm starting to work on coloring it, but no updated pic yet....maybe once I get some more stuff done.

ALSO: Updated with a new pic that needs critique
D:

 

[Errol McGillivray]

Blood is much darker. For the rest of the shading, you only have shadow and midtone. You would still have some higher tones. Also, your reflected light and midtones are the same tone. Get a little more variety and consistency and things will look smoother.