Vivid Void

[Dark_Gale017]

I just wrote this, it still needs some work but I like it. Let me know what you think.


Windy and dark, the night crept though the windows of my cold room. Slowly the shadows overtook my thoughts.
My mind flooded with the darkness, leaving no room for light.
I stand in the nakedness of my vivid hollowness, waiting for the emptiness to fade into the void.
All in my vision is black, all that I hear is whispers, whimpers, echoes of consciousness drifting though the void.
I am lost, unable to see the true path before me.
Unable to hear loving word to guide me.
Lost in the endless nothingness, stuck in the darkness of my inner self. Unable to set me free, unable to forgive.  

[EstoPerpetua]

I like it. However, I think there needs to be something done with the form and presentation of the poem. The words themselves are very good. I particularly like the message you give at the end of the poem. All in all it's a really good poem and I'd like to read more!  

[evolvingwolf]

Except for the flow of the way the words are written, this is one of the best poems I've personally read in a while. I really connected with it! If you'd like I could help you organize the words a little bit better so everything connects and is stronger. Feel free to contact me on my profile! You are very talented. Please keep up the amazing work and let me know when you have some more pieces up!