Dealing with Him 101 (A guide)

[LyricalSoul93]

Open =)  

[Hester Peche]

In my experience boys are dense--or at least have very logical minds. Most of them don't understand the subtlety of female feelings. The best thing to do when communicating your feelings--for any reason--to a boy is to be honest and straightforward. Explain to him clearly and concisely how you feel--and why if nessicary.  

[LyricalSoul93]

Thanks Hester =)
I don't know how well this thread is gonna work to be honest, but I thought it was worth a try to see if we can put together something that girl's find helpful.  

[Hester Peche]

I'm sure it will be great! But, it is a great idea...I mean if you look at most of the threads in this section it's always the same.

I always seem to type the same stuff over and over again!  

[LyricalSoul93]

Aww, thanks ^^
Well yea, that's what I thought. I really do seem to see the same threads repeat themselves and (if this works) it should hopefully make it easier for everyone.  

[Kaiyle Brightblade]

I like the idea smile I think lots of girls need help with this sort of stuff. Here's my advice on asking out, summarized from another thread.

1. Make a strong move. Call him up or talk to him in person and ask if he would like to go to dinner at Luigi's on Friday. Picking the time and place cuts back on the awkwardness and gives him a very simple choice that can only be answered in a yes or a no.

2. If he has some sort of problem with the time or place you picked, suggest alternatives. But if he objects twice, he's probably trying to turn you down politely. The most appropriate response is, "maybe some other time"

3. Follow up in a week or two. Repeat the conversation to see if he has changed his mind. If he still says no, he's just not interested.

I know its a very direct approach, but I find it helps to at least have a plan of what to say. Hope it helps!  

[The_Brightest_Moon]

On a number of things that I know most about:

Don't take any s**t from guys: if something is up, you tell them. If they are being mean, call them out on it. If your boyfriend said something wrong about you, call them and tell them. Now, be sure not to be actually bitchy. Just make sure you tell them that they were wrong to say that. My friend didn't want to go otu with me and said we could just be friends with benefits. I had a HUGE problem for that seeing as he was just trying to use me for sex. so, I called him right up and told him very sternly that I wasn't anyone's "benefit". Another dude and I were supposed to meet at the mall, and he ditched. I didn't let it slide, next time we were talking I told him that it was wrong and I was mad at him, and until he apologizes I don't really want to talk to him. Be stern and attentive but don't be an ice hearted beotch xD Don't flip out at the littlest things- just make sure you're not a pushover. My guy friends have learned that I don't take s**t and they respect me for that. (pwease just summarize this into fewer words xD)

Mending a broken heart: To be honest, it takes a very long time for the pain to go away if your heart has been completely shattered. Mine still has open wounds on it, partially because I care immensly for this one guy who is going through... I can't even describe it. But what you can do is go out with your friends. Go ahead, tell them that your heart is broken and you need a day. If they are your friends, they will make a day for you! They should invite you over (or, you can make plans together) and go out, have fun. Make no mention of anything boys. Or, if you feel like revenge, try and flirt a little with other guys. Nothing serious, it's just mroe like personal satisfaction, being able to catch another dude's attention. Try and remind yourself why he was not the right dude. It may hurt, but remember all the times he hurt you. Delete his number, IM, facebook, etc. Unless its valuable, throw away anything he's ever given to you. when you pass him in the school halls or wherever you are, pretend you dont see him and walk with your head held high. Always have even just that one friend that you can call and talk to if you need someoen to listen. Your friends (and family, believe it or not) can help you, so dno't worry. Time heals wounds, and it feels like it doesnt sometimes. but everything works out in the end, and eventually you will look back and be like "wow, I feel so much better compared to then"

Letting a guy down gently: Just say how you feel, nicely. If they ask you out and you REALLY dont wanna be direct, make an excuse for why you cant go. If they keep on asking and trying to flirt, just tell them that you don't feel the same and you'd like them to respect that. If they're a friend, say that you really value your friendship and don't want to lose them as a friend. You can't feel the same way romantically about them, but you want to remain friends. After that, pretend the conversation never happened. don't make them feel awkward (and it can be awkward on your side, too). Just gently tell them that you simply dont feel the same.  

[Kaiyle Brightblade]

I really like the advice about not taking s**t. Its something I'm trying to work on. What would you say to a guy who doesn't know you have a boyfriend who you think might be interested in you but hasn't directly asked you out? Something to subtly send the message you aren't interested but that doesn't actually suggest that he likes you.  

[The_Brightest_Moon]

Kaiyle Brightblade

I really like the advice about not taking s**t. Its something I'm trying to work on. What would you say to a guy who doesn't know you have a boyfriend who you think might be interested in you but hasn't directly asked you out? Something to subtly send the message you aren't interested but that doesn't actually suggest that he likes you.

Have you tried simply mentioning that you have a boyfriend? If you're talking just act casual and be ilke "Oh yeah I went to see that movie with my boyfriend last saturday!" or something. Or, if you're with friends and he's within earshot just be like "Well (your boyfriend) is taking me out tomorrow night"

Just try and indirectly let him know by bringing it up. Make sure it doesnt look intentional- just as if you were discussing plans with your friends or smoething. It'll let him know 'oh, she has a boyfriend...' but there's no guilt on your behalf.  

[Shimo Kousetsu]

For if he's interested or not:
Of course, watch out for the "telltale" signs you'll always hear about; eye contact, pupil dilation (don't be a creeper and get close to stare at his eyes though. That's... odd.), posture, body language, etc. Of course, you can't go by just that. Listen to how he talks to you, how he acts around you. Watch how he interacts with others compared to you. And if all else fails, ASK HIM. Guys are straightforward. Even if they're cornered, they'll give you a straight answer most of the time.
Also, it's important to remember that it IS possible for a guy to care about a girl without actually having romantic feelings for her. Being close to him is better than nothing. (: