Advice would be nice...

[Ikura Go Boom]

Now, before I get started I need to clarify something; dating and being in a relationship are 2 different things. Dating means going on dates with a person. In a relationship means the obvious boyfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend, or girlfriend/girlfriend.

I have been dating a guy lately. We've gone on 3 dates. He is my friend. The other day, while meditating, I had a revelation in regards to my feelings for him. I really like him, but not in a romantic way. I like him as I would like my brother were it not for the fact that we live in the same house. I was going to tell him this earlier this evening when we were hanging out outside. Unfortunately, before I could tell him, he kissed me. After that I just couldn't bring myself to tell him.
If I were to continue dating him and maybe even com into a relationship with him, the inevitable end would be that much worse.
I will be seeing him tomorrow and plan on telling him then. However, I don't know how I should do this. I do plan to pull him aside, away from the crowd, but after that I have no plan (aside from making sure I don't use the words "but" or "however", as they always cause problems in these situations).
I hope to use the fact that I told him I felt like crap after meditating as a key connecting point so he doesn't think that it was the kiss the ruined it.
Any tips or suggestions at all? I know there will be a bit of awkwardness after I let him know, but I hope I don't end up ******** this up and ruining our friendship...  

[Hester Peche]

Well if you guys are really friends, he will understand and not let this get in the way of your friendship.

But, if you're feeling this way you need to come right out and tell him. Be straightfoward and completely honest with your feelings.
Try telling him that you've enjoyed the time you've spent together though, you feel more of a platonic/friendly connection with him, rather than a romantic one.  

[Ikura Go Boom]

Hester Peche

Well if you guys are really friends, he will understand and not let this get in the way of your friendship.

But, if you're feeling this way you need to come right out and tell him. Be straightfoward and completely honest with your feelings.
Try telling him that you've enjoyed the time you've spent together but, you feel more of a platonic/friendly connection with him, rather than a romantic one.

Platonic! Ha!
That was the word I was looking for!
I'm really glad he and I decided to date before jumping into a relationship. He really is a great friend and I love hanging out with him.  

[faretheewell]

I can sympathize, and empathize. I have two stories.

The first guy I dated was someone I didn't even have strong friend feelings for, and certainly not romantic ones. After we broke up he went all "creepy stalker guy" on me and we couldn't even salvage our friendship. Made it really awkward when we ended up in the same organic chemistry class, and the same lab section. And the fact that he was friends with one of my friend's boyfriend wasn't exactly fun, either. I completely lost track of him.

The second guy and I started out as friends. My feelings, though way more practical than romantic, were strong enough to take the step into relationship status. It "helped" that I really wanted a boyfriend at the time, and he asked. He was the first guy I kissed, and the relationship was a lot of fun. I ended it because my life was going in a direction that would not accommodate it. He was very upset, but then his feelings had always been stronger than mine.

That one was very awkward for a while, as by that time (for a lot of reasons) all of my friends were "our" friends. And most of our friends had been his friends first. It took him a long time to let go of the idea that we might get back together. I had to completely avoid him and the group of friends for a few months because it had just gotten too weird. However, eventually the awkward passed and we are back to being very good friends.

*

It is going to be awkward with you and this guy. Expect it. Also expect that he might not want to be friends anymore, at least not for a while. At the end of the day, there is only so much you can do on your end to salvage the friendship, and it sounds like you have a pretty good idea how to do that. But there's another person in this. If he doesn't want it, there's nothing you can do to hang on to him.

I hope you manage to take the step back. Good luck.  

[Ikura Go Boom]

faretheewell

I can sympathize, and empathize. I have two stories.

The first guy I dated was someone I didn't even have strong friend feelings for, and certainly not romantic ones. After we broke up he went all "creepy stalker guy" on me and we couldn't even salvage our friendship. Made it really awkward when we ended up in the same organic chemistry class, and the same lab section. And the fact that he was friends with one of my friend's boyfriend wasn't exactly fun, either. I completely lost track of him.

The second guy and I started out as friends. My feelings, though way more practical than romantic, were strong enough to take the step into relationship status. It "helped" that I really wanted a boyfriend at the time, and he asked. He was the first guy I kissed, and the relationship was a lot of fun. I ended it because my life was going in a direction that would not accommodate it. He was very upset, but then his feelings had always been stronger than mine.

That one was very awkward for a while, as by that time (for a lot of reasons) all of my friends were "our" friends. And most of our friends had been his friends first. It took him a long time to let go of the idea that we might get back together. I had to completely avoid him and the group of friends for a few months because it had just gotten too weird. However, eventually the awkward passed and we are back to being very good friends.

*

It is going to be awkward with you and this guy. Expect it. Also expect that he might not want to be friends anymore, at least not for a while. At the end of the day, there is only so much you can do on your end to salvage the friendship, and it sounds like you have a pretty good idea how to do that. But there's another person in this. If he doesn't want it, there's nothing you can do to hang on to him.

I hope you manage to take the step back. Good luck.

Thank you so much for this. I felt like I knew what to expect a little better. I'm able to still talk to him now that I have told him. The first thing he said was "Well, better now than later I suppose." He wants very much to still be friends. We agreed that we were too awesome to just stop being friends over something like this. "And besides, we think too much alike." (He said this when I was about to...)