Why Me?

[The Moon of Ceres]

I look around everywhere at school and all I see is skinny beautiful people. It's even worse at lunch, when I see them drinking Gatorade and eating hamburgers and then cookies without a care in the world. And then here I am with my turkey sandwich on fricken whole wheat bread with no mayo and my orange, looking enviously at the people who eat that hot, high calorie, high fat, high salt lunch. Why couldn't I have been one of those people, who can eat whatever the heck I want without worrying about it? Why can't I have been skinny and pretty all my life instead of wasting it being fat? The pictures of me right now look terrible. I thought my witch costume for Halloween looked okay until I looked at the pictures. I don't even want to dress up anymore, I won't look good in anything anyway.

And now when I'm trying to lose weight, I've actually gained. Drinking water, no soda, no butter, no more seconds on anything... walking to school everyday, PE class... I was 195 pounds when I went to the doctor at the end of the summer. When I weighed myself yesterday, I was 203 pounds. What the hell?! I've been wasting all that time. If I knew I was going to gain weight, I wouldn't have tried at all. That's how I am. Either I put all my effort into it and get 100% or I don't do anything. Because it's easier to accept a 0% when you know you didn't try.

/sorry for bothering you.

 

[Iconised Ghost]

hey, I know, its tough sad But listen, those skinny people arent healthy if they're eating that stuff. Even if they arent fat, theyre not doing their hearts or blood pressure or any of that stuff any good. Plus in the future, when/if their metabolisms slow they arent going to have the healthy eating habits you are developing to fall back on.

Sometimes people gain weight when they start a programme. You might have over estimated how much healthy stuff you should be eating compared to how much you're exercising. I strongly suggest that you calorie count just for a few days to get an idea of how much you're taking in, it can be surprising.

And dont give up! I wish I had started earlier, and I'm sure you will regret it if you stop. That would mean wasting more time! Maybe ask your doctor for help or advice.

*hug* it will get better  

[__penguin__]

I would WAAAAY rather be overweight than be a super-thin stick with no boobs and no hips. It's actually FAR easier for people like us to lose weight than for people like them to gain weight. They're pretty much stuck without boobs and hips forever. I mean, there are also those people that will naturally have a perfect hourglass figure, too, but I think those are far more rare. xd

And you might have gained weight by putting on muscle. Muscle weights more than fat, but it's denser, so one pound of muscle takes up way less space than one pound of fat. That's why it's important to take measurements as well as weighing yourself. Once you've built up some muscle, the fat will start coming off more quickly. So don't give up!  

[CherokeeAlex]

Those skinny people will all end up on high blood pressure medications and need bypass surgery when they're older if they keep eating that way. You are creating the foundation for lifelong health by keeping good eating habits and trying to maintain a healthy weight.
If you're having trouble losing weight, you should talk to your doctor. You might have a medical condition that's giving you difficulties. Be sure to check those portions as well, it's easy to think you're eating under 2000 calories when you're not. I struggle with portion control often.
You might also need to ramp up the exercise. I thought that the walking I did daily would be enough (about 1 mile) but I needed more to actually lose weight. My doctor recommended that I try to burn 350 calories three times a week to lose weight.  

[BitterFantasy]

yeah it sucks. my campus has really pretty skinny women. out of all of the women on my campus only 1.2% of women that don't fall into that category.and im one of them. its horrible. like all the girls im hang out with are between size 2 and size 6...and then there's me. they eat SO much and lose weight..its insane!its frustrating.  

[The Moon of Ceres]

@ Inconised Ghost- I don't really care how they'll be in the future, the point is that they look good now, when it matters. And more importantly, I don't.

I tried calorie counting once, and it sucked. I didn't want to eat anything for a while after that.

Well, I already feel like it's too late. I wish I had said "yes" when my mom asked if I wanted to come with her to weight watchers when I was in third grade, so about 8 years old. Of course, I didn't want to be the only kid there and I thought it was embarrassing, so I didn't go. But if I had started then, then maybe I wouldn't be a fricken cow now, when it matters.

@ _penguin_ - Yeah, well, not really. Most of the people I know have great figures.

I really doubt that I gained muscle at all. Definitely just more fat.

Measurements are too depressing, I don't even want to know them until they're perfect. Jeez, I only weighed myself once in these last few months, since I don't like knowing my weight either.

@ Cherokee Alex - I could care less about my health, I'm fine right now. I just want to look good.

I hate doctors. They always look at me weird, and I hate them for it.

/I'm a pessimist.

 

[Iconised Ghost]

If its one thing ive found during weight loss, its that being pessimistic and focusing on what you want now and dont have doesnt help  

[Tandahda]

Don't be a pessimist. No one is actually forcing healthy foods down your throat, you can eat crap if you want to. There's a reason that the bullshit fast food diet plans work for some people and it's because of portion size.

If if if if if. IF. If you decide it's too hard and quit now you'll be thinking when you're twenty 'if only I hadn't quit then'. It's not too late, that's ridiculous thinking and I know you're very young but school isn't the end of everything and if you think high school is when things matter, write that thought down and look at it when you're in College or University or simply a little older. High school was the LEAST important time of my life and if it IS the most important time of your life, you've got a lot of sliding down to do for the rest of the fifty-sixty years you have left. Stop that thinking, it is destructive and will NOT HELP YOU.

If you gained more fat, you might need to talk with a nutritionist or dietitian.

Calorie counting is not easy, but it's not necessary either. Eat breakfast every day, eat a moderately sized lunch, and eat dinner. Two snacks. A simple meal might look like:

Breakfast,
1/4 cup dry red river hot ceral to 1 cup water
1 apple sliced up and put in, you don't need to leave the peel on.
a dash of cinnamon, cloves, or nutmeg
and 1/4 cup yogurt.

Red river cereal could be replaced with oatmeal, but red river is better, has more fiber and more protein. The yogurt makes it creamy and wonderful.

Snacks can be things like a small handful of nuts, (handful meaning what your fist will close around rather than what your hand will scoop (I had to learn that the hard way)) or any amount of veggies with a small (2-3 tbsp) amount of hummus or guacamole or (1-2 tbsp) of cream dip.

If you only weighed yourself once in the past few months, then how do you know you started gaining weight after you started eating healthily? You are a woman and women's weight fluctuates. I sometimes weigh three pounds more than I think I will and then end up being sad and depressed all day to weigh myself the next morning and be four pounds down of all things. The end of summer is a far way away from November and December. Also, different scales give different weights. You have to weigh yourself on the same scale if you're to have any accuracy at all.

Caring less about your health is not the option. You want two things right now it seems and they're not conducive to one another. You want to be skinny, you want to eat what you want. Obviously you aren't going to get both.

You *can* lose weight, you *can* be skinny and once you get into a groove with it you're going to look back and go 'I wasn't giving anything up at all'. We're not stupid, we know it can be hard sometimes, but it's nothing you're going to remember forever, you're not going to remember each individual time you see a skinny little cow munching out on a bacon double cheese burger with envy, you're going to remember that you were envious of the times you saw skinny little cows eating what you thought would be tasty.

If you're not worried about your health because you're fine now, will you be saying 'oh, if only when I was young I had cared about my health' when they're taking a vein from your leg and putting it in your neck? It's not fun and my mom is recovering from that actual surgery right now. You *can* have unhealthy foods, with moderation. This means whole day moderation, if you have pop tarts in the morning, you shouldn't have a burger for lunch, if you have a burger for lunch you shouldn't have pizza for dinner.

And just because you think you blew your calorie goal doesn't mean that you can't eat something, or that it's some kind of double or nothing gambling system. If you ate a lot during the day but are still hungry at dinner time, eat something. But make it something small and healthy.

You are not a bovine, you are a person and you're young and I get that you're having trouble, but if you give up now, you won't be happy.

And doctors will look at you weird as long as you have any extra weight on you, they're assholes and that's just how most of them are. It's sad and it's not fair, but that is the way it is sadly.

Get up out of your pit of pessimism and realize that by losing weight healthily you are going to keep it off and the reason for this is that you're going to make the habits to keep yourself healthy.

You're in charge and you're strong enough to do it. Don't sabotage yourself by taking good advice and saying it doesn't matter.  

[CherokeeAlex]

Iconised Ghost

If its one thing ive found during weight loss, its that being pessimistic and focusing on what you want now and dont have doesnt help

This is the truth. Pessimism will ensure that you don't lose weight, because you'll never have a reason to even try.

And if a doctor looks at you weirdly, fire them and find one that will actually help you. Or just tell them flat out that you aren't happy at your current weight and want their medical help in losing it. Most doctors are actually torn between being hardasses and getting people's noses out of joint by talking to them about their weight, and having to say nothing about it at all. If you make the first move, the doctor will probably be pleasantly surprised and want to help.  

[Kittali]

a comforting thought about those people who can eat whatever they want:
IT WILL COME BACK TO BITE THEM WHEN THEY ARE OLDER! and they will have an even harder time losing it because of those habits.

Kind of an evil, vengful thought i know, but its what my mom always told me. It helps.

Ok, know this is kinda gross, but go to the bathroom before you weigh yourself, weigh in the morning and before you have had breakfast. Gives you your actual weight, not what you weigh with the food that hasn't digested sitting in your tummy ^^ also, part of the weight may be your body retaining water...sucks but happens. Damn the bloated feeling...ugh.

Anyway, Good luck with your goal! Just remember you're not alone in this and the beautiful skinny ones are more noticable, but they do not outnumber us.  

[CondomAtTheCrimeScene]

Oh dear.

I can relate quite a bit.

But you just have to remember that weight isn't the only way that bad eating habits can catch up with someone. The way those kids are eating is not healthy. They are lucky enough to not gain like some of us do, but you can't see what it's doing to their insides. Over time, it can cause serious health problems for them.

So even if you're not losing weight immediately, just try to remember that it's still GOOD for you to be making important lifestyle changes. That's something I tend to forget. x.x

Are you getting enough fiber in your diet? That sounds silly, but it helps! You could try a fiber supplement if you feel your natural diet isn't enough.

Your health ALWAYS matters. And it's never too late to start making changes.

But I have to be honest with you, your pessimistic attitude is a big turn off. It makes you seem like a nasty person, and I wouldn't want to be around you based on that. Your weight is the last thing that would bother me about you. There are ways to be happy without being skinny. x.x

I mean, ********. One day I went out, and I felt like a cow. Specifically, my legs felt huge. And then I saw this woman, and she was missing a leg. It hit me, you know, I'd rather have a fat leg than no leg.

There is more to life than just size. If you can't learn to accept yourself now, you might never.

There's not guarantee that losing weight will make you feel better about yourself.  

[freelance lover]

Sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten an N64 and cable TV halfway through elementary school, because I became pretty sedentary once that happened, and that's really where my weight problems began.

But here's the thing- most of those skinny people will get really fat in about 20 years when their metabolisms slow down. At least we'll be used to eating right and exercising. Besides, skinny =/= healthy. You can still have an unhealthy heart, etc.  

[Stars in my Pocket]

Unfortunately I'm not into babying people that don't want to do anything about their situation. This is a support group, and sometimes it does more harm than good to say "you're ok, dear, don't worry about it."

Start counting calories. Start taking your measurements. DO SOMETHING about it.
You're on the right track. You're starting to eat healthy.
If you drop out now and go back to your 0% then what makes you think you'll be happy later?

You need to sit down and think long and hard about where you are, and more importantly, where you want to be. "When it counts" is here and now. Sure, you aren't 100 pounds; sure, you have to eat right; sure, you aren't them; and sure, you aren't where you want to be this exact moment.

But all of those pounds didn't get there overnight, and they aren't going away overnight. You have to want to work at it, and when you get there, it'll mean more to you than it ever will to them.

Food for thought.  

[Stars in my Pocket]

And also, you don't need to have a negative attitide towards anyone that's built well. Be happy for them.

You've probably eaten a cookie and hamburger, too. I have.

Just because they're thin doesn't mean they don't go to the gym/etc.

So they won't always get heart disease or get fat when they're 40. Don't look at them with negative attitudes though, everyone. We're all built differently, and chances are we're more confident (or will be when we reach our goals) than they are. I was more miserable at 98 pounds than I am now.

I wholeheartedly agree with Emma though: your attitude/confidence/personality means more to people than your looks ever will. There's always a few shallow people, but who cares? For every shallow person there are a hundred that frankly don't care what you look like. So you need to work on being happy with yourself more than anything at this point, I think.