[ Unashamed: The Monthly Newsletter ]
Matthew 5:43-45 You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven...



[ Hello, this is your Captain speaking. ]

Welcome once again, dear guildies, to Unashamed's (semi) monthly newsletter. Alas, while I so enjoy our time together, this particular issue will be fairly short.

First and foremost, as you all may have noticed, I am NOT Fushigi na Butterfly. Our gracious, lovely Captain has taken a hiatus of undetermined length due to real life cutting into her internet time. For the time being, I am your acting captain, and any concerns that need be addressed can be brought to my attention. The rest of the crew have been busy IRL as well, but are always available if you're not comfortable bringing a subject to myself, so feel free to PM Priestley, zz1000zz, or freelance lover. Also, since Fushigi will not be available, we'll be keeping an eye out for that perfect member to fill that last crew position. Everyone be on your best behavior, and it could be YOU! blaugh


[ News about the interfaith discussion ]

I know, I know, it seems like we're flaking out on you guys AGAIN. Hopefully by the beginning of 2010 we should have everything pulled together. I haven't been able to get in contact with Fushigi to see her list of things that have been done, or who has agreed to participate. As soon as I do, and get things in motion again, I'll make an announcement. Until then, hold tight guys, and thank you for bearing with us.


[ Other matters ]

Instead of a regular Word from the Crew (which I know always has everyone on the edge of their seat), I think that a gentle reminder, in connection to the verse for this month, is in order.

Respect in this guild is a MUST. I know we've had some issues in the past that have been addressed in individual threads, and in the newsletter, but it bears repeating. This is a discussion guild, and as such, everyone needs to expect every little nuance of their post to be nitpicked at and torn apart. It's the nature of discussion. If you feel there HAS been a personal attack, please try to resolve the matter via PM. The crew will intervene if necessary, but it's really better if the individuals try to work things out themselves.

That being said, if a moderator feels the need to step in in the middle of a thread, that's just us doing our job. We're not monsters trying to abuse this little iota of power, or trying to be unfair. We're just trying to make things run smoothly. If you feel that a mod IS being unfair, my inbox is always open.


[ Prayer requests ]

These are all the prayer requests that have come in during September/October. If you'd like to make comments and offer support, feel free to post in the individual prayer request threads inside the Prayer Request subforum

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Lisa Faye
My prayer request is for me and for my job.

There was an event in January at my job at Kroger that triggered depression. Ever since then, no matter how hard I try, someone has found fault with me, when I know I am doing everything roboticlly the exact way they want me to.

I have been taken upstairs to that office and written up there more times than any of my other jobs combined.

Ever since January, I have had some panic attacks.

I have dealt with minor panic attacks before. Always at home, always in bed, and always with Cecil near so he can help me though it.

Tonight, at work, I was called upstairs. I got as far as the bank when it hit. Panic in my chest. Just like at night. Except it escalated. And escalated. I began to cry, I began breathing too fast and couldn't stop. I felt like I was dying.

The lady at the bank rushed out and got me to a chair. They called the parametics. At the time, I didn't think it was necessary. I was taken to the back breakroom.

The meeting took place downstairs. It's not over. I will be speaking to someone tomorrow. However, about an hour into the last part of my shift, it happened again. I was thinking of the paperwork needed for tomorrow, and there came the panic. The customer I was serving asked if I was okay. That did it. I turned to Joe, and said, "Joe. Help me." He thought I meant take over the register. I said. "No. Joe. Help me!"

And it began. The fast breathing, the chest pain, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Joe took me to the back as fast as he could go. I told Dean to call 911, I'm going this time.

They arrived, took me out on a stretcher. I felt more humilated than anything. Wishing I could have controlled this.

I arrived at ER. Cecil came. We realized the wait was long, and went to another hospital instead. Where, you guessed it, I had a third immense panic attack. Right there in the waiting room where everyone else could see me.

We were in and out in under two hours, thank goodness. They gave me medication to keep the panic at bay so I could do the paperwork.

What Kroger has done to my emotional state, and what they are continuing to do, is very wrong. I have been struggling to get out of my dark pit since the managers threw me into it in January. Every time I think I am almost out, something happens. Like what happened last night.

I feel trapped. Satan is in that store and I know it. I'm lost. I don't even know if God is listening to me, or if He even cares. My thoughts are starting to borderline suicide. This alone terrifies me. I have struggled so hard to get away from those thoughts, and they are haunting me again.

My Pastor? I called him desperately seeking help. When he answered the phone, I said my full name, and he hung up. Even my pastor doesn't want any part of me, or has any desire to help me.

The darkness is taking over my heart and soul. I'm afraid. Very afraid. Afraid the panic attacks will come back and Cecil won't be here to help me. Afraid the managers will fire me, as they are finding any reason to write me up now. Afraid that if I lose my job, we will lose this house. Even my Mom won't tell me what's going on in her life, for fear I will 'go over the edge'. She probably knows I'm very very close to that edge now. I know I am.

Whatever you can pray for me for, please pray with all your might. Satan is trying to get total control of me. Right now, I've lost almost everything except my heart. But that is faltering now.

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I would like to request prayer for my workplace.
While the Union has done most of the job and made the managers back off and leave me alone, unjust acts still continue.
The managers are still trying to find any reason they think is right to try to fire someone. The last grievance filed to the Union was over left behind Kroger coupons meant for another customer. Supposedly, the worker used them instead. But she said the managers are lying.
I am seeing, over and over, constant mistreatment, false claims, and unjust and unfair actions against employees and supervisors alike.
Satan is still at work in my store, and that rein needs to come to an end. Please pray that God will use His people, and end the devil's reign of terror in my workplace.
I would also like for prayer for strength during Judgement House, a play I am in every year around this time. I still struggle with mild panic attacks. Due to this, I will not be able to view all the scenes before mine, and be expected to function and preform.
I don't like it. But don't know what else to do other than skip viewing a scene and miss part of the play by doing so.
Also pray for God's angels to protect my church during this play. Every year, something bad happens to disrupt the play. Last year, a tour member literally passed out in the Hell scene. They had to call the pastor and get a stretcher to the fallen person. Also last year, a singer who was outside singing to the walk in line of people had an attack and ended up in the hospital.
It's things like this that dishearten us as a church, and disrupts our goal. To bring people to Christ.
Finally, pray for me. I continue to struggle with the emotional damages done to me by the one manager who has been demoted. I have yet to be able to write something to move past it. It's a struggle alone on a daily basis to get the house looking the way it was before all this began. Please pray I will have the strength, endurance, and hope to find a way to write my way out of this trap I seem to still be in.
Thank you. smile

Lindpen
All my 22 years, I have believed in and worshiped Jesus. But the past few days, I've started doubting Him. I'm praying desperately and reading the Bible and asking my family to pray as well. My mom thinks it's due to my mental illnesses, but I think it really is a spiritual matter.

I don't know why I am doubting Him. I'm constantly terrified and have no peace. I'm close to resorting to hurting myself. I don't know what my problem is (why I'm doubting), but I would appreciate it so much if you would pray that Jesus will heal my relationship with Him.

xLady Tsukiyox
Okay so I have this situation, I'm supposed to move in with my friend Lupis, but he has a girlfriend. It's not so much I'm worried about sin but I'm so much worried about his relationship being complicated with her and that it would be awkward when she later moves in with us. Not only that but I don't know who this person is, which makes me worry about my general safety and well-being. I want to be able to know who I'm staying with. It's a general rule, but he says that it's none of my business. Is it wrong for me to want to feel safe?

So just pray that I am able to gain some insight in this, because I honestly don't know what to do...my best friend still thinks I should move in with him, because it's better than staying with my parents, and I have no one else to stay with...-.-

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On Tuesday, my friend was acting strange on msn and told me he had to poof until next week and wouldn't tell me why. His friend imed me last night under his screenname and told me he went to a medical institution because he had a really bad breakdown at work. She was grilling me for two hours asking what might've caused it. I'm worried about him. I hope he will emerge healthier and stronger. Maybe this is because I love him dearly..

However my strength has been stripped away recently. My mom has been having some health issues however she's been attacking me as of late, blaming it on me. Saying it's my fault that she stresses out because I'm lazy, I look like a troll, and that my hair is ratty. She complains about my looks mainly because I work in an office (if you can call it that) and I sit at the front. She also has said I'm not only useless but worthless because I can't help her, even though I'm not a trained professional. She asked why she even had me. She even glared at me at work when I handed her someone's application. She says these things full of malice. And half the time I just don't want to live anymore. I know I should move out, but with my friend's recent chain of events I don't have the strength to.

So please pray that both me and Lupis will be healed mentally and psychologically, and pray that I have the strength to support him and endure my mother's abuse.

Mona05
please pray for me.
(Mod edit: In regards to having the N1H1 virus.)

Atreadia Allaani
Her son Andrew has been taken to the hospital. They have found bilateral pulmonary efflusions, and are intubating him and draining the fluid on his lungs. He may have H1N1, and if that is the case, he is very close to death. Please pray for his family and for his healing.

Thank you



[ Praise reports ]

We also like to praise God for what He's done in our lives, giving Him glory for the immense blessings He's given us. These are the praise reports that have been posted in September/October. If you'd like to praise along with them, or offer your own praise reports, you can do so in the Praise subforum

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saki_hanajima7
Prepare for text wall

Okay. I haven't been on Gaia in a few months, but I'm back to share this with y'all. A lot happened this last summer. Background first though. Long story short, I started doubting my salvation in 7th grade [been saved since I was 5ish], and that slowly turned in to doubting whether God even existed. I'm a college freshman now, by the way. And I started cutting myself about a year and a half ago, for lots of different reasons, my lack of faith being one of them. Okay that's pretty much the background.

So going into this summer, I had just graduated from high school and everything, and was beginning to lose all hope that God was going to reveal himself to me. Then I became friends with this guy, and we got closer and closer and had great conversations about God [very hypocritical on my side...] and finally I decided that he needed to know the truth about me because I wanted one person I could be real with. So I told him basically my whole life story. And it was amazing to get it all out there in the open.

Anyways, the night before I left to church camp, he was trying to get me ready to really open myself to God and what he wanted to teach me. And I finally just decided to trust God and see what happened. It took us 2 days to drive to where church camp was, and on the first day I was doing a quiet time and just felt like reading Hebrews 11, because it had to do with faith and everything. So we get to camp the next day and lo and behold the theme of the week is FAITH! And the scripture focus is Hebrews 11! It was a little bit weird, the coincidence.

So the second night of camp the speaker did an invitation and over half of the people went forward. It was insane!! Like, people that I had known for years and had always been in church and youth group and stuff got saved. But for some reason I wasn't able to be happy for them. All I felt was an intense jealousy, because they had gotten what I had been BEGGING God to give me for 5 years! And also, I was scared because the speaker had mentioned something to the effect of "When Jesus calls you, if you say no, he just keeps on walking" [it was biblical though, I can't remember exactly what he said]. And I was terrified that maybe I had lost my chance! That Jesus had called me and moved on, and there was no hope for me.

I talked to my best friend about it that night [she was one of the ones that got saved] and she kept telling me that it wasn't true and everything. That God wanted me and he wasn't going to give up on me [the parable of the lost sheep or the lost coin]. But of course I couldn't really believe it. So the next day I'm laying in my bed [top bunk] and the girl below me starts reading a verse out loud, the one that says "No one can snatch you out of my Father's hand" or whatever. Exactly what me and my best friend had been talking about. Then at worship that night the band played the song "Never Let Go" [David Crowder Band] about how God never lets go of us! It was all just crazy coincidences and freaky and cool. But I was still being stubborn.

So the speaker did another invitation, and I don't know why but I got up. So my youth pastor [she's a girl by the way] took me to a room in the back and we just started talking about my faith issues and all that stuff. And I told her about all the coincidences and she said, "You know, God is just short of writing on the wall for you!" And that's when I realized that he really was there. It wasn't an emotional rush or some crazy feeling I got, I just kind of knew. And I realized that God is just incredible. If he'd given me what I'd begged him for, some emotional experience to prove that he was real, I would have explained it all away in a second! He knew that what I needed was a changed mindset, to get past all the doubts and all the lies Satan was putting into my brain and just realize that He was there all along. It's really hard to put into words, but I started to think differently. I started college a couple weeks ago, and ever since I've been here I've had a desire to read the bible! Not even a desire, a need! And that is something I've never experienced before!

Now about the cutting, I had tried to stop several times and failed. So after camp I decided to give it to God and let him give me the self-control I needed. And it was working, but I still had the masochistic feelings inside. And I still had the desire to hurt myself. It was just under control, I guess. And I had resigned myself to the fact that the addiction was never going to go away completely and it was something I was going to have to live with. But, last night actually, I realized that I wasn't having those feelings anymore. I had no desire whatsoever to hurt myself! It was amazing! God did what I didn't think was possible!!! He freed me from an addiction I thought I was going to have to fight for the rest of my life!! I can't even describe how awesome it feels to be free.

I just thought I'd share that with y'all. Sorry it was so long. But I know that there's probably people out there that are going through the same kind of stuff and I just want to give you hope that God can do anything! Even if you've given up on him, he still wants you and is pursuing you!! You just have to keep your eyes open and realize that he is everywhere and in everything.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."


[ Comments, criticism, suggestions? ]

Thus concludes our newsletter. Tell us what you think, and, as always, feel free to suggest new and improved things. This is your guild too. 3nodding