The True Story of Jack and Jill

[Undead Superstar]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pale of water.
But as soon as they reached the tippy top
Their plans did soon falter.
They decided they'd just screw
And get the water right after,
But as soon as Jack dropped his pants,
Jill bork out in wild laughter.
"I'm so hung I make horses cry,"
Jack oh so loved to brag.
But now the truth was out.
He was hung like a rat.
Jack turned red as he tried
To hide his puny shame.
"Hey, it's not my fault," he snapped.
"This cold weather is to blame."
Jill's laughter increased tenfold
Taking all her breath.
Then up on the hill,
She laughed herself to death.
Jack started to cry and he didn't stop.
He cried himself sick.
His friend died becaus they dropped their chore
To see his tiny d**k.
So he ran away to be alone
Somewhere across the land.
He never had any friends or loves.
It was just him and his hand.
So just remember one thing, my friend,
When your work ethic is soft.
If you shirk your work, you friends will die,
And you'll be left "Jack"-ing off.  

[fallenangel_Asha]

Very cute, that put a big smile on my face. I love how you ended it with "Jack"-ing off...very clever.
I really enjoyed reading it, its a lot of fun. The only thing I can offer that would be constructive is that it probably wouldn't hurt to go through and revise a little. As you read it a few times you may see some spots were you could improve flow, find some better word choice, etc...
But it's very enjoyable!