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Swindle

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Did you like my humble poem?
  I simply loved it
  It was okay
  Absolutely horrid..
  Oh look a cookie!
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Fyrewalle

PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 2:08 pm
Swindle my fibers, and tremble thine bones
down the long path I travel alone.
The world slowly drips and melts itself away
storming the past and forcing it to sway.

A sad life, a cold life, something drawn out far along
that tremble in your voice, that old silent heart's song.
Tremble, shake, quiver, then intertwine
the rolling crash of hearts melding back with time.

Simple
Dashing
Dependent on the sun
Reminiscence our differences
To combine and form as one.

A touch, a splatter, the heart throws it out
Shattering the planes of time, the dead arise to shout.
Stumble, crawl, walk, then run
Across the rolling fields of glass, surrounded by the sun.

The meagerness of time, it sweeps itself away
leaving behind the feelings to dwindle down and pay.
You hold on to the past, and you climb up so high
up above, you sit on your line, and I'm left to stare and wonder why.

To scared to go through it,
to scared to come back,
to scared for your heart to sway
pounce, rear
then attack!

I can show you the world
and its wonders anew
my heart lies wide open,
for me and for you.

Together were strong, a reckoning force
something to stir and cause the world to remorse
Together we stand, and sing out to the sun
the heartaches of a life and the challenges we've undone.

Swindle my fibers, then tremble my bones
down the long path I don't travel alone.
Ive got one by my side, for me to hold up unto,
the wonder of worlds, and my darling, that's you.  
PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:51 pm
no one's even looked at it... lol.  

Fyrewalle


Evermore Reality

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 26, 2009 10:46 pm
You're poem...seems more like a short story waiting to be told. It isn't a bad poem, in fact, I rather liked it. It just seems more like an introspective story from someone to the love of their lives.  
PostPosted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:02 pm
I liked the words in the poem, but some parts didn't go as smoothly as others, as if there were too many words in one line and not enough in another. It also sounds more like song lyrics to me. (Which is, a good thing! XD) And I agree with the post above mine. I think I got a rush of inspiration reading this. =)
 

Violet Mascara

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Poetry

 
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