Awesome Christian alternatives!

[ferret658]

OKAY!!!!!! I KNOW I DON'T HAVE A LIFE!!!! JUST PLEASE DON'T RUB IT IN!!!!

The Bible says to keep oursleves clean in all ways, correct? That include swearing. I know we all have or had problems with it in the past, so if you can't stop yourself, here are some good applications for KJV Bible speak coupled with physiological terms.

Illegitimate child
Sanctified feces
Adiposed layered gluteus maximus
a**l sphincter
Fornicating mother
Fornicating fascia
Obese fornicator

And, for a more amusing touch to confuse the people you are blowing up at:

Poopstick
Meanie Head
Momma's boy
Turd Burglar
Your mom
Your mom's face
Your face
Loser head
Ugly

Just toss any of those choices into an angry conversation and BLAM! Instant diffusion.

It works, I swear. And all those are sanctioned by my youth leader and her Pastor husband. Plus they're just really fun to say, too, cos half the time, people don't know what it means. rofl rofl  

[Tirissana]

ferret658

OKAY!!!!!! I KNOW I DON'T HAVE A LIFE!!!! JUST PLEASE DON'T RUB IT IN!!!!

The Bible says to keep oursleves clean in all ways, correct? That include swearing. I know we all have or had problems with it in the past, so if you can't stop yourself, here are some good applications for KJV Bible speak coupled with physiological terms.

Illegitimate child
Sanctified feces
Adiposed layered gluteus maximus
a**l sphincter
Fornicating mother
Fornicating fascia
Obese fornicator

And, for a more amusing touch to confuse the people you are blowing up at:

Poopstick
Meanie Head
Momma's boy
Turd Burglar
Your mom
Your mom's face
Your face
Loser head
Ugly

Just toss any of those choices into an angry conversation and BLAM! Instant diffusion.

It works, I swear. And all those are sanctioned by my youth leader and her Pastor husband. Plus they're just really fun to say, too, cos half the time, people don't know what it means. rofl rofl

I wasn't going to say you have no life...I was going to ask...what the hell are you on? o.o  

[ferret658]

.....about 15 hours of consciousness....I think....I woke up at 2:45 pm yesterday....and it's 5:07 am right now....Is my math right....?  

[Atreadia Allaani]

The best alternative for all those is to keep your mouth shut. That way you know you won't be committing a tresspass against your neighbor.

The tongue is the most unrulely member of the body. That is why we must strive twice as hard to keep it under subjection.  

[The Amazing Ryuu]

Mmm, but I must ask... Why substitute another word when the meaning is still the same? It's not the word itself we must stay away from, but the thought altogether. If I tell you to go suck my left big toe in a tone that obviously means 'f*** you' then you're just as offended as you would be if I'd actually told you what I was thinking.  

[MatthewLovesChocolate123]

The best way to make sure you don't randomly cuss at people is, making sure that you keep your mouth shut and don't say anything that will offend the person. It's also not good to think about negative and hateful thoughts about someone you don't like or hate. If someone get's on our nerves, we should just walk away and relax. biggrin  

[zz1000zz]

Where does the Bible condemn cursing?  

[The Amazing Ryuu]

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." --James 3:9-12

That's the main verse that everyone focuses on.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." --Ephesians 4:29

^related, but to a lesser extent.  

[ferret658]

....Jeez, I was sleep deprived and a little insane....
My bad.....  

[MatthewLovesChocolate123]

Like my mom always says, If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all!!!! Love your neighbor and enemies!  

[Fushigi na Butterfly]

Okay, I have to step in and be captain here. This thread is unnecessary and strikes me to be a bit trolling if I must be honest. Unless you specifically want to discuss whether or not the Bible condones or is against swearing, please do not post something like this. So far as I can tell, the sole purpose of this post was to list a bunch of silly phrases that can be used in the place of expletives. This is a discussion guild. If you have questions or concerns, please PM me. I'm locking this thread and leaving it here for a few days to give you time to read this, and then I will delete it.