Stained Glass Window: A Shakespearian Sonnet

[Toikey]

Stained Glass Window

The nature of my beauty is too grand
Stealing the ink of the blooms so painted
I bear passion’s red, all greens of the land
Dark blues of fire, pure and untainted

Infinite rainbows, a colour bouquet
I scatter sunbeams and tell my story
I despise the black night and long for day
Here is me: fragile strength, frozen glory

The sun rolls me up and holds me a while
Can you see the light gripping me, lifeless?
Not framed, but trapped, yet still I lie and smile
Held tight by the iron’s deadly caress

“I’m not beautiful” I cry as you pass
After all, I’m just made from broken glass

Possibly my favourite of my own works, though that isn't saying much! Spent about a month on it, just editing and editing. I love Shakespeare's Sonnets, and so I attempted to do one of my own. Much harder that one would expect! Critiques?  

[storebrand saint]

I enjoyed it, but I expected some reference to the papacy to highlight the window. Regardless it was well-written, and I respect anyone who can make a sonnet work for him. I've written a few Petrarchan sonnets myself, but have yet to tackle a shakespearean sonnet.  

[Amorpheous]

Definitely a beautiful piece and something you should be proud of. The imagery is vivid and gripping. The poem gives the impression that the beauty of stained glass is merely a mask that hides something less than desirable. The dark undertone with the phrases "frozen glory", "stealing the ink", "gripping me, lifeless", "not framed, but trapped", and "iron's deadly caress" give the poem an overall feeling that there is a price for beauty. The last stanza, I think, sums up perfectly what the rest of the poem eludes to with a mixture of descriptions and words that speak of glorified beauty and the whispers of unpleasant means for this beauty.

I can't seem to find the meter in the fourth line of the third stanza. Perhaps it's just the way I read it, but that's the one line that really bothers me, especially when I read your poem out loud. Though I say this, I wouldn't suggest changing it much because I feel as if this is one of the most pivotal and important lines in the poem, the other being "Can you see the light, gripping me lifeless?".

"Can you see the light, gripping me lifeless?" Light is generally seen as warm, life-giving, and "good". In this line, you've expressed a different view on light, one that is trapping, ensnaring and cold. It also gives a feeling of cold, distant beauty as in the third line of the second stanza you say "I despise the black night and long for day" it is obvious that it takes light to expose the beauty of stained glass and bring it to its full glory, but this beauty is not warm like the sun that casts the light.

A very, very beautiful poem! The only time I've written a Shakespearian Sonnet is for school when I decided to write a sonnet on the Civil War. Great job! It was well-written and enjoyable.  

[Toikey]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, especially you, Amorpheous. I'm glad that most of my thoughts were received well.
I'm sorry about that line, but it may just be that you read it slightly differently! I'm afraid I read it with a very pronounced London accent; perhaps your accent affects the way you pronounce your syllables. I will, however, see if I can phrase that a bit differently, without ruining the meaning of the line.
Thanks agains for your kind words - They're much appreciated.