-No title- Prologue, possibly chapters if you guys like it

[Horsket]

*BANG*
Thats all it took to turn Jemma's life into a complete nightmare. Things had been going so well. Her twins' birthday had been a success a week ago, and Dean's promotion to second-in-command in Guires Architectural Firm the week before. But none of it mattered now...Jemma sat, in a state of shock, staring at her husband...at the fresh wound that now taunted her as it bled down his oh so still face.
The evening started out so well. The yearly formal buisness parties were nothing new to Dean and Jemma, and this one was no different than any other. Good food, dancing, silent auctions and speeches to end the night were the gist of what it was all about. The night was just about to end as the owner of the succesful coporate buisness said his final words...literally.
The rest was a blur. 2 gunmen had entered the room, commanding everyone to stay where they were. Jemma wasn't sure how long she held her breath, how long the gunmen waited, until they decided it was time to shoot...
How would she move on? How would she deal with this?
How would she tell Caiden and Heather that there daddy was just shot and killed by a man?
As Dean Fennell's dead body was taken from the room, pure anguish and pain pierced Jemma's heart as she screamed for her husband to come back.

Just to let you guys know, the story isn't focusing on just Jemma and her life, this is just a scene telling you what happened on that specific night so you get what's happening 4 years later, in chapter one (only if you guys are interested).  

[Emmerah]

definitely interesting... I vote yes!!!!  

[elisapet]

One suggestion thats been bugging me...When it says "Oh so still" I think-and this is just my opinion- that it should go "Oh-So-Still" ,you know? (and it ROCKED, btw)  

[Alanora Calaran]

I agree, the premise of this is very good. One more technical thing to add: You say "2 gunmen entered the room." Replace "2" with "Two." In professional writing you usually type out the numbers' names, not the numbers themselves.

I'm too tired to actually sit down and rake through this; there were a couple other errors I caught, but overall it's great. I like your style. It does make me want to read more!