blonde jokes {no offense to those that are blonde}

[Dr Sciurus]

everyones posts are funny but theres one thing you dont see here besides pervert jokes......*drum roll* blonde jokes! so anyone have some good ones?  

[Dr Sciurus]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..."

He sighed................

" Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."  

[princely love]

Blonde Cops

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

You've got blonde!
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. She came back out again. Finally the man got annoyed. 'What's wrong?"

"My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"


Another Chance


One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.

Blonde at a football game

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the beginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"  

[princely love]

Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"  

[Dr Sciurus]

hahaheheh oh nice. good ones!

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:

"Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?

"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?

"The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl  

[ExistingMiracle]

Q:Why does it take longer to build a blond snowman than a regular one?
A:You have to hollow out the head
____________________________________________________________

Q: Why did the blond climb over the glass wall?
A:To see what was on the other side.
____________________________________________________________

Q:Why did the blond tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A:So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills
____________________________________________________________

She was so blond... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said concetrate
____________________________________________________________

She was so blond that when she went to the airport to pick you up, she saw a sign that said 'Airport Left' so she turned around and went home.
____________________________________________________________

Q:How do you get a one-armed blond out of a tree?
A:Wave to her.
____________________________________________________________

Q:How do you confuse a blond?
A:You don't. They're born that way.
____________________________________________________________

Q:What do you call a smart blond?
A:A golden retriever.
____________________________________________________________

Q:Why does a blond smile in a lightning storm?
A:They think their getting their picture taken.
____________________________________________________________

Did you hear about the blond who gave his cat a bath? He still hasn't gotten all the fur off his tongue.
____________________________________________________________

Q:What do you call it when a blond dies their hair brunette?
A:Artificial intelligence.
____________________________________________________________

Q:What did the mom say to her daughter before a date?
A:If your not in bed by 12 come home.
____________________________________________________________

Q:Why did the blond put her finger over the nail?
A:The noise gave her a headache.
____________________________________________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9WQDvcBdyE&NR=1

^^^^^ Its self explanatory ^^^^^
__________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________  

[Resone]

i only got one tasteless one

how do you kill a blond?

put a scratch ans sniff sticker at the bottom of a full swimming pool.  

[DragynSyn]

Snow Plow

One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." The wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." So the wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park..." Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, her husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."  

[Lord Derpingsworth]

Once, there was a not so big company that needed a sales promotion. So they came up with the "100 Stairs" competition. What they would do, is make a staircase with 100 stairs on it, and at every stair, a person was placed at it. And every person would tell you a joke. If you laughed, you would lose. And if you got to the top, you would win a million dollars.

So, on the opening day of the competition, tons of people show up to give it a try. The high score for the first hour was 15. Then, at some point it time, a blonde starts to go up the stairs. Hearing every joke and still keeping a straight face.

Amazingly, she got up to the 100 step, and started laughing. And the guy about to tell her the joke said, "Why are you laughing? I haven't even tole you your 100th joke yet."

"I just got the first one!"  

[Somniac]

there were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.

The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second.

When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"

im sorta new at this heh sweatdrop  

[Isamu Hayabusa]

three different families are going to disney land the first family was the brunette family after a long drive they see a sign saying disney land left they turned left got to disney land they all had a good time. Moments after a redhead family arrived after turning left to disney land they all had a good time also. Then the blond family after hours of driving they finally saw the sign saying disney land left they turned around and went home  

[Tsukasa wave]

HAHAHAHAH this jokes are so funny ok heres one

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle!"  

[Kihttie]

I got one, pretty common though.

So three females were stranded on a island. One was brunette, one was a redhead and the other was blonde.

About 100 feet away there was another island, this one had food such as bananas and coconuts.

Because there was no food on the island they were on the brunette said,

"Ok, I can't live like this. I'm swimming to that island" Having said this, the brunette began swimming. She got halfway and drowned from exhaustion.

Then the redhead gave it a try. She drowned halfway as well.

Then the blonde tried. She got halfway, got tired and swam back to the island.  

[Xmaiden-monochromeX]

lol these r funny!
I think i got one


There was a blond.She tried turning on her TV.It wouldn't come on.She tried many more times,same result.
She called her boyfriend over to fix it
He said,"What's the problem?"
She said,"The TV's broken.It won't come on."
He went over to the TV.He looked behind it.When he came from behind he said,"Have you ever thought of plugging it in?"