(A short opening to a story I'm working on. I decided I might as well let the first few lines be judged before working on the rest. This is also the first draft. Any feedback is welcome. Thanks.)
Vang threw himself to the ground as a screaming Basilisk shell hit the nearby bunker exploding in a storm of fire and plasteel debris. The noise was deafening and as Vang rose to his feet he felt his ears ring.
The Berzerker cursed and leapt over an abandoned entrenchment effortlessly. His eyes surveyed the twisted battlefield for his prey.
The Guard had held the Karrazian Plains for four days now. Not that it was much of a plain anymore. The expanse was pockmarked with craters and trenches and the very air was black with the scattered dust of war.
Bodies littered the ground both of the dead and still dying whose pathetic screams were drowned out only by the the constant shriek and roar of artillery fire.
It was a paradise to the sons of Chaos. Or at least it would be were it not for the sheer cowardice of their adversaries.
When the Serradepth had first made planetstrike the defenders had fought with a valour that had made every moment of combat an unending joy. The Guard had thrown themselves at the Chaos Warhost like the waves of an ocean against the rock of an adjacent coast. And like the waves of an ocean they had broken each time and fallen while the immoveable rock had remained. Unhindered, unmarred. Unstoppable.
But now, as they fought the last of the planet's eastern defenses on the open plains of Karrazia, the adversary was nought but a skeleton crew.
The Guard had withdrawn all of their forces and hid behind the hills which now leered at Vang from mere yards across the battlefield. There they had set up the last of their artillery and now bombarded the expanses below with unending salvos. Pathetic. A real warrior fought tooth and nail. A real warrior looked his enemy in the eye before striking him down.
For all these Imperial dogs claimed about their holy Emperor and valourous history they held no concept of honour on the battlefield. No pride.
Vang sprinted across an open clearing, free of debris, and roared with all the rage he could muster.
From around him other cries rose in succession until the howl of Khorne's Chosen drowned out even that of the Basilisk fusilade.
From behind him an engine sounded as a Chaos Rhino emerged from the thick fog.
Vang ran towards it and grabbed one of the side entries. Climbing atop the mechanical beast he unsheathed his chainsword and raised it high.
"Now, Brothers of Chaos, comes our time! Rend them assunder! Tear them limb from limb! Show them the power of a true god! Blood for the Serradepth! Blood for Chaos! Blood for the Blood God!"
The Official Warhammer 40,000 and Tabletop Gaming Guild
The Official Gaian Home of Tabletop Gaming
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