Is it worth working on?

[DreamingRoses1224]

Nature (title ever changing)
By D’Evelyn Wymore

Prologue
Liquid pools of light stared back at her, wondering about her curly brunette hair and sad hazel eyes, which were filled with tears. Little yellow heads swam with the current, lazing about beneath her and bright green stretches flowed sweetly among them.
Ashley blinked away the threatening tears, telling herself it was pointless to cry about a thing that was unchangeable. She rolled over onto her back, stretching the length of her body across the board walk. The sun was warm and comforting, relaxing her muscles, just as it soothed the nature around her. If only I could stay here all day, she thought to herself, letting her eyes drift down.
“Too bad you can’t, Ashley.” Groaning, she sat up to stare at tall being with mystifying green eyes and glistening gold hair.
“Yes,” she agreed, pulling herself onto her feet, “it is. All this beautiful nature and nobody to care for it.” She glazed her hand over the roses by the stairs and watched them bloom into glorious red love notes. She turned to her brother and saw the hint of a smile behind his always-intense composure. “Stunning things, aren’t they?” She commented, sparing a glance at the flowers that bent toward her as if she were the sun. She turned back to her brother, all hints of happiness gone; the troubling mask had reappeared. “Aaron? Did the meeting not go well?” He lowered his gaze to the ground, a slight furrow in his forehead appearing on his lineless face. He shook his head and sighed. She asked the question that would determine her future. “What happened?”  

[Stelle Cadenti]

I must say that I am intrigued, but you can only work on developing it further if you decide to, write for yourself, not your readers. The description is a bit confusing, you're using too many adjectives, but still not describing the full setting. It seems like you're focusing on the details, when what is really needed in something so short is the big picture. Try, in a situation like this, to really get the setting across efficiently, describing not just details, but the whole thing. Also, it would sound better if it was less purply, fewer adjectives and more description through showing.  

[Gold Milan]

I heard this somewhere, I forget who said it,
but someone told me that words are tools
and good tools are efficient, so in order for your words to be good tools
they must be efficient,
or something like that.
the gist of it was that you should use as many words as you have to but not any more than that.
I didn't really quite get what you were describing, and I think that you were trying to use too many words.
You could probably split up a few of those longer sentences too, or rearrange them so that they flow a bit better.  

[Shallarinath]

For some reason I get the feeling I've read this somewhere else.  

[Octane Diesel]

Gold Milan

I didn't really quite get what you were describing, and I think that you were trying to use too many words.

This is exactly what I wanted to say.

You were talking about flowers and boardwalks? If you have a unique setting and not somewhere blatant like "car", "school", or "supermarket", describe the place, I don't know what you're trying to tell me when you're bring two completely opposite things together like that.

Your vocabulary use is good though, but I would suggest some major indentation as well.  

[Ginjar420]

Bah these othere commentors. I enjoyed it, I think you should keep at it smile  

[Lady Pica]

I'd be interested to see where you go with this if you continue. smile  

[Shallarinath]

Ginjar420

Bah these othere commentors. I enjoyed it, I think you should keep at it smile

Hey, I know you! Actually my comment probably came becuase ATW and I are in a few guild together and I probably read this in one of them and just don't recall the matter.