a poem that came to me while sitting at subway

[Tink_Bel]

The shadow stalks me from up there
The crunch of my feet is the only sound
On the back of my neck I feel its glare
And that's when my heart starts to pound

I hear it coming and I pick up speed
The creature lets out a horrible shriek
That's when my foot hits a weed
I fear my life is at its peak

I turn around as the creature asends
I try to run but its too late
The creature catches me and I'm at a dead end
I close my eyes and wait for my fate

In hope to hold it back, I put up my arm
But it all fades as I'm saved by the distant alarm  

[Mia_MaxRide]

Interesting, I liked how the ending might imply that it was a nightmare. It was really cool to read, flowed nicely.  

[Tink_Bel]

thank you!  

[Stelle Cadenti]

Quote:

The shadow stalks me from up there
The crunch of my feet is the only sound
On the back of my neck I feel its glare
And that's when my heart starts to pound

I hear it coming and I pick up speed
The creature lets out a horrible shriek
That's when my foot hits a weed
I fear my life is at its peak

I turn around as the creature ascends
I try to run but it's too late
The creature catches me and I'm at a dead end
I close my eyes and wait for my fate

In hope to hold it back, I put up my arm
But it all fades as I'm saved by the distant alarm

Just a few little mistakes, but nothing too bad.

I really like this piece, it has an interesting idea. Some of the rhymes feel a bit forced though, like you had to really think of what to put there.  

[Tink_Bel]

i usually don't do ryhming poems, but i wanted to try it out, so i didn't do the best with the whole ryhming thing.