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Shadow: Creeper Hollow - Chapter One (rewritten)

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wolfs shepard

PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 4:07 am
WARNING!!!: Contains explicit gore... or semi-explicit, depends on how you look at it really.

LCAV: Landing craft attack Vehicle

One: Welcome Mat

"You ready Bravo?” chimed the pilot through the intercom. The LCAV bucked slightly as it connected with the hangar bay doors to the facility. Dull metallic thuds and clicks could be heard from inside the craft as hoses and latches locked into place. Axel sat on the mesh of the seat set against the wall of the LCAVs’ loading bay. "Ready as we'll ever be. Suits are a go; open the doors when you’re ready." Radioed Axel. "Failure here isn't an option, it sounded simple enough in the briefing after all.” he said to himself. "Get in, destroy the project, and get out.” he radioed to his team. "Roger.", came 6 voices over the intercom in his helmet. The light beside the doors of the LCAV turned from red to green. Axel and his six teammates stood up, grabbed their weapons, and waited for the doors to open.

The doors of the craft opened with a quick hiss. "You are weapons free, load up.", he barked again through the com to his team as he moved close to the door, he would be the first one in. Acknowledgement lights winked on as each one grabbed a weapon and shouldered it, ready for entry. The doors to the lab slowly opened, giving Axel a gradually wider view of the room beyond. It was loaded full of smaller space craft, shuttles, and vehicles all resting on rails on the floor and suspended by large claws that dangled from the ceiling. It was eerily quiet for the third largest lab in the asteroid belt of the Sigma Seven Galaxy.

The doors to the facility hissed as the stale air beyond rushed out to mingle with the clear air of the LCAV. The doors finally open; Axel shouldered his weapon, the K7A sub machine gun, and stepped into the room, a quick sweep of the room through the gun sights revealed nothing. The rest of the team moved into the room and fanned out, sweeping the room themselves. “Red and Damen move through the room and clear every crevice I don’t want us getting jumped on our way out.” Axel ordered. “Hey, I’ve got something!” called Kaleb. Axel turned his head; Kaleb was standing at the right corner of the room, the darkest corner of the whole place. He walked over, lowering his weapon and holding it in the crook of his left arm. He stopped next to Kaleb and looked at the form on the floor; he turned on the flashlight under the barrel of his gun and shone it on the form. Kaleb moved towards the body and kicked it over onto its back. Axel winced involuntarily; it was a scientist. But he had been dead for quite some time. Without the benefit of insects to move the decomposition process along its skin clung to the bones of its arms and face. Its once white lab coat was caked with long-dried blood. It seemed to emanate mostly from its chest. Axel could see a large chunk of flesh missing from the bicep of his right arm, the bone underneath exposed for all to see. Its face was contorted and locked into a scream of terror. Its eyes still seemed to be wide and the pupils dilated, even though they more resembled grotesque raisin-like forms. Axel knelt next to the corpse and searched the pockets of the lab coat it wore; finding an identification card. "Dr. Kennith Iseman...poor b*****d, how he got here like this is beyond me but this isn't so simple any more team." he said flatly. "Hate to see that guys last minutes...” said Kaleb, his voice trailed off.”Not much else to do here, put the body in the craft and he'll go back for burial.” ordered Axel. "Yes sir." said Kaleb; he grabbed the corpse and slinging it over his shoulder, proceeded to carry it away into the loading bay of the LCAV.

BOOM!

A shotgun blast came from the far side of the room.

“THERE IT IS!” shouted Damen, his voice echoing through the room
The sound of submachine gun fire erupted to life inside the room.

BOOM!

Another blast.

“What the hell is going on over there Red?” shouted Axel into the com.

“Some creature tried to jump us. I dunno what it is! It’s fast though; and climbing all over the walls!” Red replied.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“The hell is that?” shouted Angel.

“I don’t know! But you go check it out, kill whatever it is.” Ordered Axel over the com.

Angel ran off deeper into the room, weaving through the vehicles and shuttles. Her weapon raised to her shoulder with one hand, the other at her waist, gripping her combat knife.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“Wha-“, exclaimed Axel just as he was thrown forward by an unknown force. He hit the ground hard, his weapon clattering away across the floor and laying about ten feet from him. He quickly rolled over, moving away from the unknown force just the sound of smashing metal lashed at his ears. It was only feet from him. He rolled onto his feet, unsheathing his knife in the process and held it in front of him at the ready. A large creature, roughly human in size and shape sat, hunched over inside a large dent in the metal floor of the hangar bay.
The creature hissed menacingly at Axel as it slowly turned to him and began to pace around him in a circle. They circled each other, waiting for an opening, and Axel got to examine this ugly creature that was bent on killing him. It was pink in color but far more grotesque, almost as if the muscles were on the outside of the skin. Its arms were long and muscular; the veins could be seen under the pink colored organ he assumed was flesh. It had a large mouth, easily large enough to fit around a human throat; it was lined with large, sharp teeth that were easily capable of functioning like a guillotine. Its hands and feet were each tipped with three thick fingers from which three large claws protruded. They were thick and heavy claws made for cutting. Each of the creatures three fingers looked almost as if human fingers had fused together and the fingernails had mutated into claws. There was also a mane of hair that started at the top of the creatures head and ended at the bottom of the neck. The short hairs on its mane stood straight up in a jagged fashion.
A screech pierced the air just as the mutant creature lunged at Axel. Axel raised his knife but the creature slammed headlong into his torso and sent him flying into a shelf. He quickly stood up, the creature was gone, and he looked up. It was in the air, falling right at him. He side stepped casually as the creature slammed into the floor with bone shattering force. Axel brought his knife down and impaled the creatures head. Blood bubbled from underneath the hilt of the knife as he forced the creatures head towards the ground. It was still alive, but only just. He tore the knife from the skull of the creature the knife grinding against bone and swung his leg over the creatures back, straddling it and brought the knife to its throat. “Fight for air, b***h.” He growled as he slashed the throat of the creature. It collapsed with a heavy thud on the floor and was quickly surrounded by a large pool of deep red blood.
He kicked the body away and walked over to retrieve his submachine gun. The rest of the team was beginning to come into view. Red and Damen were splattered with quite a bit of blood and Angel had a few splatters over her right arm. “Everything work out alright?” asked Axel “As well as could be expected, damn thing was fast.” Replied Damen breathlessly. All eyes drifted to the dead creature that was now lying on its back next to a large dent in the metal floor and a large pool of blood. The head twisted around in a grotesque way and tilted sharply to one side. “Geez, how’d you kill that?” Asked Ryu “Knife.” Replied Axel coolly. “You’re shitting me!” exclaimed Red. Axel turned to the team, “Alright, let’s get out of here before more of those things show up. We’ve got a mission to finish.” He said.

[CHAPTER END]


Authors note: All chapters contain the same warning; for future reference.
 
PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 1:30 pm
The story concept is good. I would like to find out what happens next mrgreen . Your writing is pretty good as well, you just have some spelling mistakes here and there and a few grammatical errors. Please post more. Also, it seems a bit rushed, like the chapter should be longer, but that's just an opinion. (I write and read a lot of super long chapters.)  

peterlover14


wolfs shepard

PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 4:47 am
It get's better as it goes, I was a little bored when this was writen. I know chapter one is a little rushed, but it evened out as I went.  
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