The John Doe in 418

[UC Poika]

THE JOHN DOE IN 418


CHAPTER ONE
418

I was alone. Asleep or awake, I do not know. Someone knows. But I do not. It was dark. When I looked out in the darkness I saw that it was only darkness. When I looked inward I could understand nothing but darkness. But I had no fear, nor sense of loss, and no sense that anything would change. And it was warm, but not too warm. And I did not feel any discomfort. But then it all changed.

I was alone. Asleep or awake I did not know. Someone knew, but I did not. When I looked out I saw only darkness. But it was cold and damp. Was I alive? I did not know. For I thought that this might be the afterlife for I felt I once lived.
Don't panic, I thought. Take it one step at a time until you have figured it all out. You don't know how you got here. You don't know whether you can get back where you came from, nor even if you would if you could. Are you in space? Yes. Are you on the ground? Yes.
It sure seemed I was lying on the ground. And besides feeling cold I felt the grass, and how the grass where I laid was warmer than the nearby grass which was covered with dew. I reached out and finding a blade of grass I tried to determine without being able to see it whether it had been cut, but I couldn't be sure. And yet, because it was not very long I believed it had been mowed [not recently but sometime within the last few weeks]. Then I fanned my arms out as if I was to make angels in the snow in Winter. It was not flat land I was on. I laid in what I believed was a ditch.
Maybe I could get out of here alive, I thought. But, I asked aloud, “Where am I?” and then realized I could hear my own voice, so I was not in a vacuum and I laid on the ground so I knew two directions at least—up and down. The other question that came to mind was most sobering—was I injured?
I didn't feel any pain anywhere. I put my hands on my face. There didn't seem to be any blood there was just a cold liquid like cold sweats. Then I held my hand before my eyes, but I could not see it. Was I blind? I sat up, felt of my legs and feet, my chest and stomach. I was evidently dressed and had all my limbs, nothing seemed to be broken, and I was in no pain. I didn't even have a headache nor an upset stomach. Therefore I believed everything was OK but possibly my sight. However as I stood up I found I could walk. So I explored the ditch and discovered which way it ran. And by so doing I reasoned the highway ran the same way.

Then it changed again and I was back in the warm comfortable darkness aware I had just been remembering a place and situation I had been in before already. There was a past! I had not always been like this. Alive or dead, I still did not know. But I was aware. So I opened my eyes.
And all I could see at first was a bright light. My eyes watered. So I closed them and then opened and closed them again to get used to the light. Then opening them another time I realized I was lying down looking up at a false ceiling in a well lighted, all white area. A hospital, I thought. But then I went back to the comfortable, warm dark place I had once been in.
How I had gotten there I was not sure, but I was glad I was not lying in the ditch any longer. But what it had to do with me being in the hospital I did not know. How long had it been since I was in that ditch? I did not recall, but it seemed quite a long time—perhaps years. Was I in a coma? Was that what a coma is like? Had I been in a coma that long? Why didn't I remember anything else? Was I in some unknowable danger, some unknown but knowable danger, some unknown danger that was knowable, some unfelt danger, or some unreasoned danger? I had so many many questions. But I began to wake up again.


“I am sorry,” I heard a young man say, as I felt pain in my heart. “But I don't love you. I—I love someone else. We are just good friends. I thought you understood that.”
All I could sense was a great sadness overpowering me and coming in waves as I cried, unable to stop, and embarrassed that I could not.
“You will be alright won't you? “ he asked.
I nodded I for I thought I would be, grateful for the compassion and obvious concern, but also fighting the tendency to hope he would change his mind as well as the temptation to tell him I was pregnant.
Then when I opened my eyes again there next to my bed on a chair in the well lighted, white, room sat a young woman I did not recognize dressed all in white. She did not notice me and with a tear in her eye she seemed to be playing with what looked like a friendship ring. However as I continued to watch I realized she was trying to get it off, for in the end she did just that. Then once removed, she put it in the pocket of her white smock, bowed her head and sighed a long loud sigh while I closed my eyes, retreating into the warm, comfortable, dark place I had been earlier, whether awake or asleep I do not know.
What had just happened? It had seemed to me I had broken up with a young man, but now I felt I was a man, how old I did not know, but I suspected I was not that young. But when I awakened that last time it became clear to me that the young woman had recently experienced a romantic breakup. Somehow I sensed that I had experienced her breakup just like she had—as if I had been her. Weird, I would have said aloud if I could have, but it did not concern me that I could not yet speak. To tell the truth I never gave it any thought until this very time.
Then suddenly I was back on the road in the cold, damp night with no stars. I realized I had no idea where the road came from nor where it was going. And, though it seemed so real [as real as had it been that I was actually there] but I knew it was only a memory. However at the time I remembered I had, I thought, no way to know whether there was indeed a future to look forward or a past I might want to reclaim.
And at that time in the past, I recalled sitting in my favorite bar, Wayne's Bar and Grill, with my favorite bartender, Jonathan, practicing making me a drink called a Black Russian. I could see Jonathan almost frantically mixing another one and laughed when I told him it had too much or not enough of one ingredient or another. He had no idea it was the first time I had ever drank a Black Russian and that there was no way I should, or could, know when, or if, he got it right. Like most drinks they tasted terrible. But so long as I found fault with them they were free, because he would let me drink his last attempt while he made the next, which I assume he hoped would be a perfect one.
There was only a native couple in Wayne's that night besides Jonathan and I, so he tried to get them to try one of his many concoctions. However they wisely begged off and I thought at the time they preferred cheap beer to free mixed drinks. But, as I now know, they were not unfamiliar with Black Russians at all and that is why they declined.
I had a happy feeling and laughed and joked not only with Jon but the native couple as well until at last I fell off my barstool. Picking myself up off the floor I laughed and told Jonathan I was going home. He all but begged me to stay but I stuck to my guns and walked [though staggered is a better word for it] out of the bar onto the city street.
Then, once again I opened my eyes to see the bright, white , room wherein I laid on my bed and looking around, saw no one. Then wondering if indeed it was a hospital I rolled my eyes back in my head and re-entered the warm comfort or the dark place once more.
This time I remembered a guy and a young boy in a pickup truck and telling me that was where they turned off, that it was best if I just stayed on the highway and I would get where I was going as soon as another car came along. They wished me luck and disappeared down a road perpendicular to the one I was on. Then I remembered stumbling in the dark and falling in the ditch and apparently passing out, only to wake up later and have no memory as to how I got there nor even who I was.
What a relief! I was afraid I had been hit by a car or something and had landed in the hospital awake or asleep, alive or dead I did not know. But at least I began to figure I was alive more strongly now than before. But was I in a coma? Just how does one determine such a thing?
Then it seemed I had been sitting at a kitchen table talking to an elderly lady.
“Grandma. I don't know what to do. I have to work with Irene. But Jereme broke it off with her. They were just friends, Grandma. But it broke her heart. And she's my best friend, Grandma. Was I wrong, Grandma? Jereme says he loves me. And, I-I... Well, I love him too, but...”
“But what?” the elderly lady said and set a cup of steaming hot coffee on the table in front of her grand-daughter I presumed.
“I don't trust men, Grandma.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, really. Every man I've had a relationship with... Well, they all did me wrong. I know that's corny but it's the truth.”
“Yes it does sound corny, but it is not only true today it will continue to be true no matter who nor how many you meet. But if you love him, are you going to pass that up because of what someone else did in the past.”
“I am seriously thinking about it.”
“Then go ahead think about it. Just don't do it. I repeat, think about it, if you must, but don't do it or you'll regret it.”
“Okay Grandma, I won't , but what do I do about Irene. She's a great nurse. I would really feel bad if she quit on account of me and Jereme.”
“That's out of your hands. Don't worry about what you can't control. Do you think it would be any easier for her if you quit?”
“Oh, I'm not going to quit.”
“Well then, Donna, you are going to have to make the best of it.”

Once again I tried immediately to open my eyes and there was there a beautiful young woman with one green eye and one blue eye, watching me very carefully.
“You're awake,” she said clearly surprised.
“I am?” I asked, truly questioning it.
“Yes, you are,” she said, patting one lovely hand on my shoulder. “How do you feel.”
That was a simple question. “Fine,” I said.
“Good. Because quite frankly it always amazes me when my patients wake up right when I'm looking at them.”
I must have shown I was curious to find out what sort of dreams it was that I was having happen to me, because she asked me whether anything was wrong.
“Is your name Donna,” I asked shyly.
She was clearly surprised. “Why do you ask? Were you expecting someone named Donna to be here when you woke up?”
I tried unsuccessfully to nod.
“Well,” she said hesitantly. “My name is Donna, but, do you know me?”
“No,” is all I managed then drifted back into the dark, warm place.
Once there I began to remember again and felt proud of myself, but I didn't understand why. All I had done was wake up and talk to a nurse named Donna. What was there to be proud of? Then I realized it was because of what I remembered, the finding of the yellow line in the center of the road that dark night of the black out, or lapse in memory due to alcohol consumption. And, I remembered following that yellow line all the way to a little town, being increasingly assisted by increasing light as the overcast morning settled in upon me, alone there on the highway.
Then I drifted again feeling myself to be very distraught, even suicidal or homicidal one. Damn it I was pregnant. Is this what friends do to each other? How in the hell do I deal with that? Were my thoughts. Then I removed a bottle of medication from the medicine area, walked to another room quite rapidly, but very controlled so as not to attract suspicion. Now once bedside a patient that had been out of it for quite some time I prepared the needle. I swabbed his arm and... poked the needle into my own arm and not his that I might give myself the shot I had just prepared for him. Then I sat down in the chair next to his bed.
My God! I almost screamed in my mind. What had Irene just done? Then I struggled to wake up and when I opened my eyes Irene sat where she had the first time I had seen her. But was she sleeping or dead. I did not know. I fully intended then to yell but I was too weak and slipped back into the dark place, but what had she done by taking my shot? I confess that I was now troubled there in my place of darkness and rest.
Then I remembered walking into town there on that cold overcast day of the blackout. I remembered seeing the brown 1961 Ford, four door sedan start up and drive toward me, stop and its driver ask me whether I needed a ride. I remembered thinking he was going the wrong way. Then finding out he was headed for my hometown I decided to see, if indeed, it was a mistake to go back there one more time.

CHAPTER TWO
Awake

It turned out I was in Laipa, a nice, clean little farming community set in the beautiful harvest fields of Minnesota, the haying nearly done. But the ride I got back to my hometown was far from idyllic. I laugh now when I remember the young man who was a rocker not a farmer and the ride home more in the company of hell than the company of angels. The college kid had a stronger leaning towards fitting in with the fraternity crowd than the Laipan crowd. He was, though he didn't know it, quite ridiculous.
Then it changed, none too soon for my blood. I sat in the chair next to the John Doe in the hospital ward at South Metro Hospital where I worked. I had just taken a load of medication meant for Mr. Doe in an effort to go gently to sleep and never again wake up to the horrible nightmare I called life.

John Doe: I fought. I wrestled. I tried to move. I had to wake up. I had to save her. And it paid off, for as I became aware of my hospital room Irene was there asleep in the chair next to my bed, but my thrashing [my attempted thrashing really] was enough to catch the eye of a passing nurse whose presence was enough to allow me to drift off again, and it changed again.

I was just coming on duty and rushing toward my first charge when I noticed a coma patient attempting, it looked, to jump out of bed. Irene Stackley was seated, sleeping in the chair next to his bed. My God, I thought, Irene's really had it rough tonight. So, I checked the patient who settled down almost at the sight of me. And Irene seemed just to be sleeping on the job. But the patient didn't seem to stay settled down long at all. He stirred again.

John Doe: I was aware again and opened my eyes to see the nurse that had just come in. “Help her,” I would have shouted. “She's drugged herself...”
“No, no,” the nurse assured me. “She's just sleeping.”
I refused to settle down.
“Okay, I'll check her over. See? I am checking her out,” she said taking Irene's pulse. “She's just...” She could hardly find a pulse. “But you're not alright are you girl?” she said to Irene. Then she pressed my button and I again drifted off . And soon I was resting comfortably only to have it change one more time.

The sun shone bright as I sat out on the back porch listening to radio WBAR the local radio station in hopes of getting the local news and forecast.
“In other news, U. C. Poika was arrested again in connection with another streaking event on campus this week. Seeing that it was his eighth offense Judge Harry Poster ordered a psychological evaluation for...”
'Hey, that's the guy that gave me a ride home from Laipa, I thought. 'Amazing.' Then I thought again, ' He sure fits right in now, doesn't he?'
Another change in scene and I was hurrying to get dressed when my little boy came into my bedroom.
“What are you doing here?” I snapped. “Get ready for school.”
“But Mommy,” he pouted. “I am really sick. I got a bad headache, my back hurts and I'm sick in my stomach.”
I felt his forehead. It was hot. So I took his temperature—101.3°. “You are sick,” I said, and I put him back to bed as he said his sister was sick also and had in fact thrown up in the living room. So I went to her room and she was fast asleep, but covered with sweat. Her temperature was not as high as my son's but they were both quite ill. Then as I cleaned up after my daughter I talked my mom into caring for them this one day anyway. Needless to say I was late getting to work and since I had taken the liberty of being a few minutes late just because before, my supervisor was not at all happy.
Then to top it off, I had to help Irene who OD-ed on a patient's medication for some reason. And because we were short on help I wound up with most of Irene's patients. I mean, “Hello?” Where was Donna her best friend when she needed it? I just don't understand those two, chasing the same guy and him such a jerk. Is that any way to maintain a friendship? But hey. All things are fair in love and in war. Maybe Donna won and that's why Irene...?

“You're awake,” the nurse said to the patient Irene had stiffed of his medication.
“I didn't realize,” I said. “Is she—is she...?”
“She'll be fine,” the nurse said waving her hand at me. “Because of you.”
I was glad.
“You saved her life. And the life of her baby. One day she'll thank you for that herself. You'll see.”
“How are the kids doing?” I asked.
“What kids?” she asked.
“Yours.”
“How do you know I got kids?” she asked. “Does it show that much?”
“Oh, no, no. It's not that at all,” I said as I tried to slide myself up a little in the bed that I might take a closer look at her.
She adjusted my pillows a little bit to insure my comfort.
“What is it then? You got esp or something?”
“Not exactly,” I said searching for the proper words to say. “How can I say it? I guess it is fair to say I sort of hear people coming.”
“You hear my kids and I?”
“In a way. I heard the conversation. But it was like I was you taking care of them, getting ready and getting your mom to take care of them for the day again.”
“Aw!” she said wide-eyed. “You do have esp.”
I didn't know what to say.
“And here Irene was getting ready to do herself in because she's pregnant. I mean, 'Hello?' I've got two kids, a boy and a girl, with a little one on the way—and no husband. I'm too busy to commit suicide. It would have been so stupid for her to do that. And right next to her at the time is some guy with esp ready and willing to save her life. Wow,” she said.
“What are their names?”
“Whose names?”
“Your kids.”
“Chucky and Charley,” she said and smiled. “Actually Charles and Charlene. They're twins. Mama's little bundles, I like to think of them.”
I didn't find it funny for some reason.
“Seriously, I know they're not planned or anything but they are in no ways a mistake.”
“And Mama...”
I let her wonder what I would ask. But when I saw she was getting insecure and nervous I said, “Does Mama have a name?”
She smiled more of a smirk than a smile. “Sally,” she said.


“Read your books,” I said.
“My books?”
“The ones about d**k, and Jane, and Sally, and of course Spot.”
“Aw!' she said. “I love those books.” Then she was suddenly finished working over my bed. “Listen, you take care and I'll be back to check on you in a little while. But if you need anything in the meantime this is the button to push right here. Okay?”
So I laid back and rested awhile before I slept again. But this time I was unaware of the dark place. It was like a vision started the moment I closed my eyes.


CHAPTER THREE
It Hits the Fan

When I heard Irene had overdosed I was devastated, but the mere mention of the wellbeing of her unborn... My God, How could I have been so gullible. They were supposed to be just friends. He said he didn't know what had gotten into her. Well I did. She was perfectly within her rights to even demand that he marry her. Wasn't she?
Them words her “unborn child” wore a whole in the fabric of my love as big as a car breaching a dam. The blood all ran out of the one, the two of us had become, leaving only a zombie love. It seemed real in that it was ambulatory but it was void of life. I felt violated by their sex and couldn't believe he couldn't see that.
“Friends have sex all the time,” he said.
“Strangers too,” I said. “But not while you're...”
“Things happen,” he said unashamedly.
“Good-bye,” I said.
It still hurts. He was just a bull in a breeding pasture. It's nothing personal. Too bad you got pregnant. Take two of these and get a new boyfriend. It's all the same to me. I got someone to marry me. We're just friends. Lucky you. After all we could have been just strangers. To hell with you Mister. I'm out of here, she's still my best friend. I just don't quite know how to look her in the eye these days.
“Hello Irene,” I said. “Really feels like hell, don't it girl?”
“Please, Donna,” she surprised me. “Sit.”
I sat upon the foot of her hospital bed.
“He called me one night. It was about three AM. I could have turned him down. He was lonely and so was I. He never looked at me the way he did that night, before or after, and I never wanted him more.”
“Am I supposed to want to hear this? I know I don't need to.”
“No,” she insisted. Then she said something I can't understand, do not understand, something I won't understand. “He never seduced me Donna. I never seduced him. It just happened.”
“Both of you destroy my trust. And it just happens that way?” I said now aware I was crying. “My best friend and the guy I love cease to be and it was just an accident, just one of those things, an accident of loneliness. Sorry b***h, but that just don't cut it. Good-bye.”
“Donna. Don't go,” she begged as I walked on. Our friendship, the pals we had become blinked out of existence like a fireworks sparkler, just a bright light one minute and ashes the next.
And as the vision exited I saw the same beautiful young girl enter my room.
“Hello. Donna, isn't it?”
“You remember me? That is good,” she said. “anything else.”
“An alcoholic blackout,” I said.
“Is that all this is?”
“No. The blackout is quite old. But I think it's mine.”
“You remember it and it' yours,” she said.
“Is it?” I asked.
“You mean like your relationships of late? Zombies and burned out sparklers, where abouts a groom and a bridesmaid might have once been.”
“What?” she almost shouted. “How do you know about all of that?”
“I hear you coming.”
“What? Was I talking to myself?” she said obviously quite alarmed.
“No. But please let me explain,” I said calmly.
She sat down in the chair next to my bed.
“In the old days, when it was quiet in the woods, we could hear the blue jays cry and we would know somebody was coming. Then we would see the grouse take wing and hear the horses snort and voices in the distance. As time went on we were able to hear what they said. And many times they were talking about us, but for sometime they would talk over how to share some sort of news with us. The point is, we didn't hear anybody, just the ones that were coming. The point is, when the mind is uncluttered I hear people coming with my mind, then they come just like you did.”
“Well, that may or may not be true, but I don't think you should be trying to conjure up visions of others' lives right now, given your condition.”
“I'm not. It just comes to me. I would have to strain if I resisted it.”
“I'll let the doctor know.”
“And just who is the doctor?”
“Don't you know?” she asked.
“No. Should I?”
“Do you mean he hasn't been in to see you yet?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Why am I not surprised?” she said as she left.
“Let me talk to you,” I heard a male voice in the hallway say.
“Let me go! We've already talked. It's been said. And very well said I might add.”
“Donna,” the voice said. “Don't be... like that.”
Is it the young man? Oh, boy! I get to meet the young man, I was thinking as a young doctor entered my room, and I was surprised at how very young he looked indeed. He looked even younger than either Irene nor Donna. But, what concerned me most was the idea that perhaps the young man was my doctor.
“Hey,” he said. “How are we doing today?”
“Keeping me entertained anyway,” I said.
“Entertained?” he said. “Oh, that? Me and Donna? I suppose you were entertained.”
“Oh, it is more than that,” I said. “Doctor? Mind if I come right to the point?”
He seemed surprised as if aware of some impending danger. “By all means,” he said anyway.
“Are you my doctor?”
“Not exactly. I am a physician's assistant. I am sorry. I should have told you. My name is Jereme...”
“I know.”
“How did you know?”
“I heard you coming.”
“No one said my name while I was coming here. How could you hear my name?”
“Actually, Donna used it when she was talking to her grandmother...”
“Was Jane here in the hospital?”
“No. I heard them talking before they got to the hospital.”
“You're completely confusing me,” he said.
“Oh. I don't think you need a whole lot of help there,” I said judgmentally.
“Alright. What is going on here? You seem confused. But you know things you should not. What exactly is your problem?”
We stared at each other a moment.
“Alright,” I said. “Where should I start?”
He smirked, as a long sigh seemed to say, Just get started.
“I know things I should not and I think it is because I have a blank mind.”
He relaxed a bit but the smirk remained.
“I know for instance, Jereme, that you broke it off with Irene...”
“Irene tell you that?”
“No, Jereme, she did not. And, I also know she's pregnant. I know that for all practical purposes your marriage to Donna is off. And I know that you're the jerk that caused it all.”
He was angry I could tell, but he went about checking me over physically until I said, “Would you please stop. I don't have to let you do that. And I will not for long. I assure you.”
“Sir?” he asked , standing straightly and abruptly.
“As far as I am concerned, Physician's Assistant Jereme, you are fired.”
“You don't want me to examine you, Sir?”
“No, Jereme, you've got it wrong as usual: I won't allow you to examine me. Now either get a doctor I can trust to examine me or just leave me unexamined. I don't really care.”
“There is no need. I was pretty much done anyway. You're fine physically. But I do wish you would reconsider. This is going to cause quite a bit of difficulty for me.”
“There you go again, Jereme Baby. It all comes down to you. Doesn't it Jereme? Do us both a favor since you're done examining me. Leave.” Then as he turned and walked away I added, “And don't come back.” And even though my heart was pounding due to the excitement of the confrontation, I leaned back on my pillows and began to relax.  

[UC Poika]

CHAPTER FOUR
Allegations

“Come in Jereme,” I heard someone say as if they were talking to me. “I've been expecting you. Several allegations have reached my office concerning you. Tell me, my lad. Are they all true? Why but of course they are all very true. You see I know you, Mr. Sheloh, painfully well.”
“I don't know what they are. How can I tell you whether they are true?”
“Now Jereme, that tone may be appropriate for your ex-fiancèe, but please restrain yourself in my office after this, Mr. Sheloh.”
He slumped and looked at the carpet before him.
“Now, my friend, begin where you will, but tell us your side of the story?”
He nodded.
“Just take a deep breath, clear your mind, and just begin when you're ready.”
“I started dating Irene Stakley. I was immediately drawn to her, but never sexually—well almost never. She never seemed particularly interested in me as anything but a friend either. In fact, when I saw Donna, Irene was clearly amused by my immediate infatuation. She even introduced us. But Donna was not at all interested. But I was determined and spent even more time with Irene in the hope of social contact with her best friend and she knew it. There was never anything underhanded—well, almost never. Irene knew all about it. That's for sure,” he began.
“And, by Donna—I assume you mean Donna Colbert?”
Jereme nodded.
“Did Donna know too?”
“Know what Sir?”
“That you were using Irene to get next to her.”
“Using her Sir?”
“Yes. Jereme? That is what you were doing.”
“We were friends.”
“Oh, please. Spare me you lack of feeling for Irene Stackley. Go on Jereme. You are doing well.”
“Eventually Donna acquiesced and we finally went out that first time. Then twice we went out, and then almost every night. And, I saw Irene only for coffee once in awhile—well more than once in awhile but you know. Ultimately though it was made clear to me by Donna that she loved me. So I broke it off with Irene yesterday.”
“And?”
“I didn't know. I swear. I didn't know.”
“I believe you.”
“And that's it,” Jereme said.
“If you would like I can fill in the details, or would you rather, Mr. Sheloh?”
He said nothing.
“Well one thing is for sure Mr. Sheloh, your morals are, at best—forgive the exaggeration—when you are not exercising any principles whatsoever, which ordinarily would be your own private business, but a patient has somehow become privy to your multiple sexual indiscretions...”
“There was only one?”
“Excuse me?”
Then suddenly he realized his relationship with both women would now be considered indiscretions and added,” I am a real jerk, aren't I Sir?”
“Yes, you are. But that has normally been your problem. And yet, we have a problem with the John Doe in 418. He fired you because he fears your inability to make good decisions in your private life makes you generally incapable of sound judgment at all. And, I am painfully aware of your inability to handle your private life...”
“Shall I resign then?”
“From the John Doe's care? I'm afraid you have no choice but to accept his decision. We can't risk upsetting him unnecessarily.”
“I meant, from the hospital Sir.”
“Well, not yet anyway. But even though we are shorthanded, as always I advise you to take an extended leave of absence until this all blows over a little. But please. Do as little damage to the hospital's reputation as possible.”
“What would you advise, Sir?”
“Just lay low for a while. Hell! Dig a pit and hide out in it if you have to. Just let things go the way they are going to go. At least until the baby is born... (?) ...she is going to have the baby isn't she?”
He shrugged.
“You really don't give a damn. Do you?”
“You guys really ought to try and come to some clearer understanding. Now I've sat here and listened but there is something I've got to say. Is a disciplinary action enough? I mean seriously Horace, the boy clearly isn't ready for a mature role in our institution. Who can trust his moral instincts after this? I doubt that even he can. No, Horace, I think we must give serious consideration to dismissal and the sooner the better. For one thing, it is not fair to the boy to drag it out,” I finally said.
“You might be right, Eugene. But I think we should put it through Ethics first.”
“Fine. But I want you to know Mr. Sheloh, it won't be long, but it will be painful,” I said to Jereme. Then turning to Horace I added the following question: “Now who is going to reassure the John Doe in 418 action is imminent? You or me?”


CHAPTER FIVE
The Parts Ring

Then I realized it was not a daydream but another of the sort of insightful premonitions of sorts. And I began to piece it together in my mind. What I was seeing was not the future exactly but the immediate past of those I was about to meet and interact with. Therefore I sat quietly and expected some bigwig named Eugene to drop in unannounced for a visit concerning poor Mister Sheloh. However I decided to have a little fun when Eugene got there. The problem was that it took some time. Then finally a distinguished man walked through the door of my hospital room.
“Eugene!” I said. “How have you been? I expected you to come right here after the meeting with my physician's assistant, Jereme Sheloh. What took you so long?”
“I—uh—uh...” he tried to reply though clearly astonished.
“Tell me, Eugene. Just what is your official title anyway?”
“I am—uh... the—uh...”
“It doesn't matter anyway. But I thank you that something is being done about that boy claiming to be a doctor. The guys a real jerk, Eugene. You know?”
“And, that is why I am here Mr.—uh...”
“Just call me Mr. Doe. Everybody calls me that. That John Doe in 418. It's not much of a name but it'll do for now.”
I sat up a little in the bed and offered him my hand.
“Pleased to meet you, Mr. Doe. My name is Eugene—Eugene B. Hindenburger. My colleague Horace Reddy, and I thought it best to bring Mr. Sheloh's recent... shall we say, indiscretions or blatant display of immoral and unwise behavior? Yes. Well...” he continued having distracted himself. “We, Mr. Reddy and I, have decided to bring the matter of Mr. Sheloh's obvious inability to adequately make decisions in his personal life to the Board of Ethics, and I assure you, Mr. Doe, he will be dismissed.”
“Can you really do that Gene?”
“Excuse me?”
“Can you really assure me he will be dismissed?”
“Well, I—I can not say it is in my power alone to do so, but given the attitude of that boy...”
“That boy, Mr. Hindenburger? If he were truly a boy there would be no problem. We would spank him and send him to his room and that would be that. The problem, Eugene, is that he is a man and not just a man, but a doctor who is, in my case chosen by the hospital to make life and death decisions everyday...”
“Speaking of that, Mr. Doe, he his done an admirable job of bringing you through.”
“I would hardly say that I am through anything. I can't remember my name, my family, if I have one... My God Gene! Surely you can see I am not through anything. And, if that man of yours screws up...? Well. I am sure I won't require much money after my lawyers, if I have any, get done with you and Horace and all the rest. Now leave me. I must get ready for my next visitor.”
“Mr. Doe...”
“Up—up,” I said and motioned he leave.
“But Mr. uh—uh...?”
I motioned again. He went through the door. Appeared again, but for a moment, looking as if he might ask me one more question. Then he was gone.




CHAPTER SIX
Ring Troubles


The entire saga was really quite tiring and in a moment I was asleep until I almost woke up for I could hear voices.
“Do you mean, he really threatened the hospital?”
“He ran Mr. Hindenburger out of his room.”
“Good Ol' Hindenburger! Really.”
“Yup. They know they don't have a leg to stand on. Jerry's been naughty and he really screwed things up this time. There's no way we can get any parts now. Jerry is off his case. He has no more opportunity.”
“He's still almost the same thing as a doctor. And, he's scored for us before. All he's got to do is sedate him and remove his... whatever... and off we go to the bank again.”
“Nope. It can't be done. Mr. Jereme Sheloh has become a liability and has to become our very next patient, or should I say our very last one here in this town?”
“Jerry?”
“He's of no use to us now, but maybe his parts will sell for enough for us to hit Mexico before the cops figure out what's going on.”
“You are for real? Jerry?”
“Aw come on you guys. I can still score some drugs or something. There's no way I'm completely out of it. I'll work again too, soon enough.”
“If you hadn't been banging two broads at once Jer' we would still be getting top dollar. Now, the best we can do now is maybe one final score. He says, Dope, no less. Now we're f'n pushers. For God's sake. What were you thinking Jereme? You sure screwed up royally this time.”
“Okay. Okay. I score the dope then. But on one condition...”
“You ain't been listening Jerry. We don't like being pushers. What makes you think you can still call the conditions.?”
“I don't take a dime for this one. But I score big and we're out of here. You guys to Mexico or where ever and me to another conn somewhere else.”
“And, what's to stop us from running out on you now, or better yet, taking the dope and your kidneys?”
“Come on now guys. Benny? I know you're sore. Everybody is. But give me a chance—huh? Duck? It ain't like we just got into this last week. We grew up together. Guys? Come on, here. Cut me a little slack—huh? I'll figure this out.”
With that Benny reached out quickly and got me by the throat. But I pointed to the parking lot cameras.
“Come on Benny,” Duck said, grabbing his shoulder. “Let's slide out of sight, and think on it some. That's it Ben, just let him breathe for now. We know where he's at.”
He let me go and I breathed so deeply and all at once that I puked, but mostly from fear I was going to die. Then Benny grabbed me in a headlock only to smash my face into his knee before he let me go again. Not completely believing I was free I quickly retreated, holding my hands over my face, my lip and my nose in particular.
“You go to the cops Jerry, we tell everything, and even then you better hope we don't go to the same jail or that any of us ever get out. Aw hell! Let's kill the son of a b***h!” he said on second thought and began to pursue me again.
“Not on camera, Benny,” Duck said. “Let's go man. There's nothing we can do now. Later man.”
Benny looked up at the cameras then at me again growling like a wounded bear. Then they walked away giving me a chance to gather my thoughts and walk into the lounge to wash the blood from my face and hands.

Suddenly I woke up with a start, and reached for the phone automatically and realized it had been yet another of my visions and not a dream, and that I had dreamed I was Jereme himself.
“Yeah. This is the John Doe in 418. Can you give me Mr. Sheloh's cell?”
“No. But I can call him and tell him to call you back. What was that name again?”
“John. Doe. That's D. O. E. in 418.'
“Okay, I'll let him know you want to talk to him.”
I hung up but I was so anxious I almost got out of bed only to realize I couldn't and wound up lying flat on my back totally exhausted. But why it never dawned on me he would be in touch with me in person I don't know. However, it wasn't long until he came into my room, smirk and all.
“Look Jereme. I know you're in trouble,” I said, surprised at how minor his injuries appeared.
“Sure thing, guy,” he said with his usual smirk now an open sneer. “But that's my business.”
“Well, smarty,” I said. “You've got more trouble than you figured. Either you turn state's evidence or I turn you and Benny and Duck all in at once.”
He took my phone and dialed 9111.
“It's up to you,” he smirked.
“Fine,” I said taking the phone from his hand.
Now he looked scared as he made a grab for the phone again.
“Hello,” I said though it was still ringing.
He grabbed it.
“They've got caller ID. Consider it traced.”
“Hello,” he said. “There is no emergency.”
“I will turn you guys in,” I said.
We stared at each other a minute. Then I saw him change.
“I need to make a statement,” he said.
“About what?” I assume the operator said.
“Does it matter?” he yelled. “Yes, Ma'am. Sorry Ma'am. I need to have an officer come to South Metro room 418. I-I can't explain over the pone, but a detective should hear what I know immediately.”
He hung up the phone but blood began to trickle from his left nostril. So I handed him my kerchief.
“You're bleeding,” I said, feeling a strange compassion for animal man but not Mr. Sheloh.
He sighed a long deep sigh.
“It feels good to know it'll all be over soon I bet.”
He nodded. “See you around,” he said and walked out of my room as arrogantly as he had entered.
“Hey! Hey! My hanky!” I yelled.
“I'll send you a box,” he said as he disappeared.

I dialed 911 again then changed my mind and hung up. By Ruben James' Momma I will turn them in, I swore to myself. Then I wondered who my detective would be. So I just sat back and relaxed hoping to have a vision.
And, in a moment I could have sworn I was walking down a hallway hoping to avoid the look of the man who had just recently raped me. I was scared. I was confused. And I was in pain. Not just because of the penetration but because of the physical and emotional beating I had taken. But in spite of it all I was determined he pay for his crimes, raping me being only one of many.
“Hey Copper,” he yelled. “How's my honey?”
I glanced his way as they wrestled him into a cell. Our eyes met and his tough look gave way almost to a look of desperation and sadness before he quickly regained his composure and brutal stare. Then he laughed a taunting laugh. Damn him! He laughed at me. I know he thinks he's going to a pleasure motel. That's what he called prison. But damn it he's still free to laugh at me.
Then the phone rang and I realized it was another of my dreams, not my own experience, but someone else's.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Doe. There is a Detective Rapp here to see you.”
“It's okay. Send him in,” I said but I had no more than said it than he entered my room.
He flashed a badge but I didn't catch the name or the number. So I asked that he give it to me slowly. He then flashed it again but more slowly to be sure.
Victor Timothy Rapp, No. 43863, it said.
“Are you a detective ?” I asked.
“Yes Sir. What's the problem Sir?
“I don't have a problem,” I said innocently.
“Why did you call 911 then?”
“I didn't.”
“Who did then,” he said taking note of the room again.
“Mr. Jereme Sheloh,” I said happily.
“And why did Mr. Jereme Sheloh call 911?”
“He didn't. He called 9111.”
“Yes. Well. How do yo know all this?” the detective asked.
“I was here when he called.”
“Do you know what it was about too?”
“Yes Sir Officer Rapp. I do.”
“I am a detective not an officer. But let's stick to the matter at hand. How do you know what the call was about.”
“I very seriously doubt that you would believe me.”
“Try me.”
“Let's just say I have reason to believe that an illegal organ ring is, or was, operating out of this hospital and Jereme Sheloh, who is probably on the run right now is their inside man.”
“Organ theft is rare nowadays. Do you have any proof?”
“Only if I'm missing something?”
“Are you?”
“I don't know. All I have to go on is what the doctors say. And, I didn't ask and they haven't shared anything of the sort.”
“What makes you think he stole organs for a ring operating out of this particular hospital?”
“He works here.”
“People work lots of places. I work for PD but I haven't stolen any guns lately.”
“Just check it out for me, OK? I think you'll be unpleasantly surprised.”
“Yeah. Right. Either way I suppose.”
“And, while you're at it, check on a couple of guys that go by Benny and Duck. You should be able to get some footage of them pounding on the good doctor in the parking lot a while ago.”
“Doctor. Did you say, doctor?”
“Well, he's not a real doctor. Just a physician's assistant but he might as well be one. And, by the way, I'm proud of you.”
“For what?”
“For nailing that perpetrator that raped you and all.”
He was silent.
“Did they find him guilty?”
“Not yet. But he's all done playing tough guy.”
“See ya, Vic. May I call you Vic?”
“I'd prefer Detective.
“Gladly. See you later Detective.”


CHAPTER SEVEN
All In The Family


I was at a party on the north side of town and since I had no place to crash I just hung around for a few days. The guys who lived there didn't mind. At least, they never said anything. I didn't know anyone that had a car but Benny and he was always gambling. And man, does he get sore when you call him at the blackjack nests. So really I didn't have any choice.
One night the booze was flowing and dope was easily reached by everyone when in walked a big doper. The word was he raped a cop and yet somehow escaped. I knew him, but I only knew him as dangerous. I didn't know him to talk to him. But I felt I should warn people.
“How does it feel to peg a pig?”
“Just like it would to lay you b***h,” he said.
Job well done, I thought. Nobody should miss that introduction.
Fortunately they called, “Hey! Duck, Benny's here,” from the other room.
“Yeah,” I yelled back glad for the break, and got up off the sofa for the first time that night. “'Sup?” I said as I entered the dining room.
“I gotta talk with you man,” Benny said having arrived when the bad boy did. “Let's go outside for awhile.”
We made our way through the party, taking in the sights like a tourist from out of town.
“Benny,” a slim black girl almost screamed but her present preoccupation grabbed her arm and pulled her down toward her lap again.
Benny just let her know he saw her. She frowned and reluctantly slipped back into the girl's lap leaving me to think, Well business is business after all.
When we got outside we stood and looked at each other a moment.
“What?” Benny said.
“You mean you don't know?”
“Know what?” he said.
“She's always asking if I'm dating, but I ain't never got the scratch.”
“Yeah,” he said. “How do us home boys always wind up short on cash no matter how much we score?”
“'Sup?” I said.
“Cop's asking questions at the casino.”
“About us?”
He nodded, eyes wide.
“Jereme skipped. One. Maybe two days ago. Get it?”
“He fingered us didn't he?”
“Looks that way. Who else could?”
“Maybe that John Doe in 418.”
He passed me a stiletto.
“They only want your a** for questioning. Visiting hours are over in half an hour. So visit. Take my car. I'll be here. I'll be dating.”
I was amazed he would put it on me. I ain't never hit nobody, let alone a patient with esp. I was nervous already. I kept thinking, What would it be like when I got there?
Then the scene switched and I was in a hurry to get to the hospital. I had planted the rumor that Jereme Sheloh had skipped town by telling a snitch at the casino he was gone. And by asking around about his buddies' whereabouts. Now I had to get to the hospital. Everyone I had talked to so far agreed on one thing this John Doe in 418 knew all sorts of things he had no way of knowing. True or not, I was sure Benny would believe it and after the footage in the parking lot, I thought the John Doe was potentially in danger.

When the scene changed again I realized that the two scenes had been visions of my next visitors and their soon coming to see me. I was nervous to say the least. I quickly dialed 911.
“911. What is the nature of your emergency?”
“There's a man on his way here to South Metro to kill me.”
“How do you know that?”
“Let's just say I was told,” I said.
“Who told you?”
“Aw!” I said and hung up and dialed 9111.
“Hello, Metro Police. Can I help you?”
“Yes. Can you locate Detective Rapp for me? I have some information that he only would understand.”
“Sir. Please identify yourself.”
“I am only known as John Doe. He'll understand.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, here. Hold on,” I said into the phone, then turning to my suddenly appearing visitor I said, “Come on in Duck.”
He entered, but his entry reminded me of a rather large buck I had shot years ago while hunting far west of the city, sort of exposed but too late to do anything about it you know.
"Ma'am. This is Duck the fellow I called 911 about just a minute ago. Please talk to him.”
I handed the phone toward Duck. He was caught off guard and started to take the phone but he was not stupid. Therefore he didn't actually touch the phone.
“Sir, is there another man there with you?”
“Yes.”
“Does he have a weapon?”
“Yes. A stiletto.”
Hearing that Duck nearly bolted.
“His friend, Benny, gave it to him at a party just minutes ago. And though he has never killed anyone before, Benny sent him here to kill me. Isn't that right Duck?”
Duck put the knife back inside the waistband of his pants and calmly walked away. In fact, I was still sighing my sigh of relief when Detective Rapp entered the room. I was surprised to see him smiling. For I saw nothing funny in what had just happened.
“Don't worry, Johnny,” the detective giggled. “We got him. We couldn't let you know. There wasn't time. But my good friend you were in no real danger.”
“No danger!” I shrieked. “He had a long knife on me. I was scared to death.”
“Good move there, John. Calling 911. That was a beauty. It really did help a lot.”
“Yeah. Right. They didn't even take me seriously.”
“They did enough to alert 9111 you were the same caller. Whew! Am I glad it's over,” Detective Rapp said.
“It ain't over yet Johnny. Jereme and Benny are still out there.”
“Mr. Sheloh is in jail. I pulled him in for questioning. And Benny was arrested in a prostitution sting just minutes ago that recaptured the escaped criminal we spoke of earlier. I'm even sure we won't be needing your testimony to put them away. For one, Donald J. Eider and Jack 'Benny' Waukegan, not to mention Jereme Sheloh are all talking as if they were in a gossip contest. Thanks to you Johnny.”
“And that other one?” I said cautiously.
“Yes. One Andrew D. Bridgeman alias The Troll is back in custody on charges of raping an officer of the law among other charges. Now that's a bonus we didn't expect.”
I was unsure that the results were final.
“You know Benny promised to ice...”.
“I know, getting 'iced'? That's prison Johnny. I'm sure it'll come up in sentencing.”
We were silent for a moment.
“Well, Mr. John Doe. If you come up with anything else, here's a number you can call. You can get me 24/7 with that.”
I looked at the paper and wondered why he hadn't given it to me earlier.
“Take care and Godspeed with your recovery.”


CHAPTER EIGHT
Epilogue

Then I drifted off again and in a minute I was talking to my grand-daughter on the phone. “You mean, Jereme is in jail?” I was saying. “What in the world did he do now? And, you say Sally's ex-husband is up on the same charges, something about stealing body organs and selling them abroad. But who the heck is Sally?”
“She's just another nurse I worked with for a long time. Didn't I ever mention her? She's got twins, Chucky and Charley, and I babysit them sometimes.”
“I'm concerned for her just the same, Donna. If her ex is in prison she doesn't get any child support. It's a good thing Irene didn't get mixed up in that. How is she doing, anyway?”
“It's worse than you think Gramdma. She tried to turn Duck in before but didn't have enough evidence.”
“Is Duck his nickname?” my grandmother asked.
“Yeah. Donald Eider is his real name. But you know what's even worse Irene is Benny's cousin.”
“Now who's Benny?”
“Never mind. But the thing is Irene may have actually helped them out of the hospital with some of the organs. It's just rumor, you understand, but I'll bet there's more to her suicide attempt that just having Jerry dump her, pregnant or not.”
“And you say this guy in 418 tipped the cops to the whole deal with his special powers?”
“Well, not everything but he did blow the whistle on them. He almost got killed for his efforts. He's really fascinating Grandma. You should meet him.”
“Now . Now. Donna I don't want to...”
“I know Grandma. But you have to admit you are lonely since Grandpa died in that accident.”
“Accident hell!” she said. “They killed him to get his heart. I just know it. Damn them.”
“You don't know that Grandma.”
“Oh, if I ever knew anything in my whole life I know that.”


THE END  

[UC Poika]

I promise to work on it's format in the near future. Please bear with me on that.  

[The Mysterious Gunslinger]

Too much dialouge.