Vulgarism. Chapter 1.

[Kindless]

Part 4 of chapter 1 has been added: And you would Die.  

[Stelle Cadenti]

Wow, all I can say was that that was powerful. Really, really something.

 

[Kindless]

Thanks, I don't know how to explain this poem, I just, I began to write then I emotionally broke down into words. I guess it was lucky I was writing while I hit this peak.  

[-PrimaCzarina-]

Again, wow.
Your instincts must be very good.  

[ash-nite]

[ Message temporarily off-line ]  

[Fujiwara Kazunari]

ash-nite

oh my god
oh my god

a choked off scream
a breathing halt
the words
the lies you whispered in my ear
stop
the truth trickles free
undoing the clasp that locks in life
the truth will free you
the truth will set you free
from body
from mind
for the truth is a killer
in blackness it hides
claming the life of those who seek
death in purest form

I've been there
to the suicide path
to the garden of death
to the flower of release
from this body
this weight upon my soul

Not to be a pain, but please post your own stuff in your thread smile

Just so you don't hijack threads and we can make sure you get the attention your deserve.  

[Aranka Taine]

I just read Chapter 1-1: Feel, and I must say, it amazed me in a very good way. It's so rare to find poetry these days that isn't flowery or about natural scenes, etc. It gave me goosebumps and shivers, horrified me in a beautiful way. I absolutely loved it. I'm going to read the others now, and will be looking out for your work in the future. I hope when you publish this, that I might be able to pick up a hardcopy.  

[Aranka Taine]

Just read Chapter 1-2: Suicide Club.

Gotta say, as I read it I felt like music ought to be playing with it. The way it flowed made me think of lyrics of a song. I very much liked it. I particularly like how you portray the hating of the words, how the person presses their hands to their head so hard it hurts, and still can't get rid of the words. I think we've all had moments similar to that, where we wish not to hear something in our minds but it's too late to get rid of it. Excellent. biggrin  

[Aranka Taine]

Chapter 1-3: Garden.

I'm curious, is the pomegranate involved in this poem in any way related to the Greek myth involving the kidnapping of Persephone by Hades? If you don't know what I mean, I'll be happy to clarify.  

[Aranka Taine]

Chapter 1-4: And you would Die.

I feel like two poems were worked into one. Not in a bad way, just that as I read, I kept expecting the poem to go one way, but then it would go in a completely other direction. I like each section for itself, but put together I get confused. I think that's what I like about your poetry, though. It's form is whatever you feel like making it to be, it's organization is raw emotion. Very interesting, and certainly a lot of fun to read.  

[Kindless]

Work on this chapter became suspended until further notice.