Tainted

[Musical Beanbags]

Chapter 1: Discovery
"MMPH!!" That's all she had time to say, as she was pushed into the abyss. Her blood crest on her forehead glowed as her last breath passed through her lips. Letting her slip from his 'saving grasp', his own crest shone a dark light revealing a murderous past.
"HOLY CR-!!!" Mineko hit her head on the ceiling with a sudden jerk, waking from her dream. She fell momentarily unconcious as she saw his face once more. As Mineko awoke with a throbbing head, she wondered exactly who were those people... And why do they seem so familiar?
5 AM, still a lot of time before school. Mineko couldn't fall asleep, so she decided to be evil and woke her closest friend, Renisa. "Whaaat....?" Was her tired and obviously annoyed responce. "I had a dream, and-" Mineko was cut off by a suddenly interested Renisa, "Yeah? Yeah??" "Let me talk!" Now Mineko was annoyed. Renisa defended herself, "Okay, okay, just tell me what happened!!!"
Mineko explained, ending with a disturbed shudder, "Ren? I have a really bad feeling about school today, I think I'm gonna fake sick." "No! As long as I can't act or get sick, you're going too!" Renisa hung up.
Renisa and Mineko met while walking on their way to school. With a tired sigh, they made small talk and discussed Mineko's dream.Their conversation was cut short when Mineko stopped to a halt. She shivered violently and her eyes went a bright blue, as a mark appeared on her forehead. "Mineko!!!" Renisa cried in alarm, "What's wrong?! Are you ok??" Then Mineko fainted.
She awoke a few moments later, Renisa feverishly trying to help her up, "Uungh.... Ren...?" She shook her head and felt... Almost normal... Tired, but normal. "Are you alright?" Renisa was worried. "Yeah... I think I'm ok now, what happened?" Mineko asked. Renisa explained while trying to fix Mineko's hair for school.
They walked as Renisa, scared and confused, relentlessly questioned Mineko. When they got to school, it had been later than planned, and started to pour. So, finding the school doors locked, they went straight to their previously-arranged school assembly in the old church.
Midway through a boring speech about drugs, lightning struck and the power went out. Stealth-texters lost their signals, the phone lines were down, and the doors sounded as if someone had locked them for the first time in years. The lights came back on, and with a heavy, bored sigh from the stealth-texters, the speech continued.
Mineko and Renisa had a very small school, and, oddly enough, only 3 teachers and a prinicipal. The power went out again, and there was a violent pounding on the wall. In an attempt to calm and protect the students, the teachers had everyone sit against the wall opposite the pounding and sat around them.
People appeared from somewhere and were standing in front of the students. Mineko's head hurt again. Something about these people, they weren't human. They had blue skin and glowing eyes, all had markings on parts of their body, which also glowed.
One of them came forward. The teachers, in an attempt to protect the students, forbade them to touch anyone. With an icy stare at the students, the demon-like people knocked each teacher unconcious.
The apparent leader of the small group spoke in a strong voice, "Now I bet you're all wondering who we are... Well too bad, we only came for the one among you who is not human." Now he waved his finger and spoke in a taunting voice, "She's been a big coward and run away... Tsk tsk tsk!"
He grabbed a bottle of Holy Water. "Before we weed out the coward, let's show you a little something." He spat in the bottle and swished it around. It turned an odd purple-ish color. "Voila! And we have tainted Holy Water!"
He grabbed the arm of a very frightened boy named Ginek. "Now now, don't be afraid, you're human, but now you're a human example, so I guess... Be afraid, very afraid!" Ginek struggled to get free. The demon forced him to drink some of the tainted Holy Water.
Ginek threw up and became unconcious. As he fell, Mineko let out a yelp, for she had had a crush on Ginek for a long time. Seeing this immediatley, the demon-like man sensed something and grabbed Mineko's arm, and yanked her up, despite her struggling. Renisa lunged and tugged on Mineko's foot, "NO!" she screamed. An icy glare from the man made her silent, and she released her grip. She seemed to have gone into a daze.
"Now look what happens when someone else drinks it!" He forced Mineko to drink the tainted Holy Water. Unlike Ginek, the defenseless students watched in terror as Mineko swallowed. At once she started to cough up blood, and became weak, almost toppling over. Some of the girls screamed at the sight of the blood, and one boy fainted.
"Aha! We have a match!" With those words the demon-like man pressed his lips against Mineko's. He tasted the blood, to confirm she was who he was looking for, and so that she would not have died from blood loss. Mineko had become unconcious, but her eyes opened a bit. They shone a bright blue light like earlier and showed a strong resemblence to the demons' eyes. She had also become very beautiful and an intricate marking glowed on her forehead.
Renisa, being one of the only students who hadn't fainted at the odd occurences, managed to studder a weak sentence, "...M-m-mineko.......... What happened to you...?" She was shivering violently, and along with the rest, fainted as she saw the man carry Mineko away into the rain.  

[Musical Beanbags]

Chapter 2: Inner Workings
Mineko awoke in a mysterious room... Where was she? What happened? These were the only things that came to Mineko's mind as she tried to get an idea of what to do. She wanted to cry for help, but she heard talking. She kept quiet, any information she could get about where she was could help her get home.
She creaked open her door, just enough to hear. She peeked out to see who was talking. It was that man! The one who had made her drink the Holy Water! This was already too much information for her head to process, but she kept listening, in case there was an answer to all of her questions.
"Kai... Why did you take her so soon? She wasn't ready," A demon was talking, "You know that." They were in private. The leader, Kai, spoke now, "I know... I didn't think she'd really do it." Mineko understood... That she really wasn't normal after all. She shuddered at the thought. If she wasn't human, then what was she?
All the questions bubbling around in her head made it hurt. Mineko grabbed her head with both hands, to try to make it stop. She leaned her back on the door, forgetting that it was slightly open. The door swung open. Kai and the other demon had spotted her. Mineko scrambled up and ran down the hall, nearly tripping on every crack in the floor.
She came upon a window, and ran up to it. She looked outside, but everything was too foggy to see. She heard Kai's footsteps and the footsteps of the other demon. In a state of panic, she ran again down a long hallway, not caring where it led. All she wanted to do was go home, or at least, get away from where she was.
The next room was filled with dusty glass and artifacts. In one, Mineko saw her reflection. Her hair was pure white, her skin blue, her eyes glowing, and a mark on her forehead, exactly where it had been hurting earlier. Mineko was frightened more now than she could ever remember. Footsteps... They were running now, trying to catch Mineko.
She ran on almost pure adrenaline, darting past anything she saw. Another hallway led to a door, a door with light behind it. Mineko dashed toward it, but as she got near, Kai appeared. Her hand was just past his, outstretched toward the door knob. He clutched her hand, pulled her close, and held her tight.
Mineko was too afraid of what might happen if she moved. She stood still, more confused then ever. There were paintings all over the hall. Something in each one started to move. Out of the pictures came storm-like winds followed by monsters. Mineko was about to scream, but Kai covered her mouth before any noise could get out.
A huge battle began, but none of the monsters took notice of Kai or Mineko. Mineko then heard a voice in her head. It was telling her, "Don't move... They can't see us..." It was Kai! That's the only explanation! Mineko was fascinated. A monster let out a huge roar, which made Mineko flinch ever so slightly.
They were spotted. The monster let out another roar, singling out Mineko and Kai. All at once, Kai turned, grabbed Mineko with both hands, and ran. Things were moving so fast, they had gone blurry. The monsters chasing, the loud booms and roars, everything was so frightening to Mineko. Despite her state of shock, she felt tears starting to flow down her face.
Mineko shut her eyes. She wanted everything, from Kai, to the monsters, to the floor under them, to disappear. Everything suddenly went silent. In alarm, Mineko's eyes opened wide. Kai had jumped out the window. Mineko screamed. They free-fell toward a forest. Mineko blacked out.
_________________________________________________________________

"Min!!" Renisa awoke, still in the church, still in the rain. She got up to look for something that could help her find Mineko. She saw the footsteps and started to follow them. Renisa ran as quickly as she could. The footsteps stopped near a hill. Finding no other choice, Renisa started to climb.
It was about then that Renisa realized her own condition. She was thirsty and tired. Still she was determined, so she went to the river to get a drink. When she looked down, she saw someone who looked a lot like her, only with red hair, longer than ever before, glowing orange eyes, and a mark on her left shoulder.
When she went to reach where the mark was, she started to change appearance. She transformed into what she had seen in the water. Someone was coming up behind her, but before she had time to even realize what was happening, she was blindfolded and being dragged away somewhere.
__________________________________________________________________

Mineko awoke near a tree on a beach. She could see the castle on the mountain nearby, the one that had by now gone silent. It was night. Again, Mineko heard Kai's voice. He was talking to someone, but she couldn't see who. He turned his head slightly, and Mineko could see him wearing something similar to a microphone that popstars used.
Something odd about it, was that it looked to be completely made of light. Kai moved is hand over his ear, and the device disappeared. Kai spotted Mineko staring, and looked away. The sky went bright, it was like the aurora borealis was shining, but... To Mineko's understanding, they weren't up North. This judgement made because she wasn't cold at all, and saw no snow except for on top of the mountain.
Still, she was in awe of it's beauty. For the first time since her kidnapping, she wanted to talk to Kai. He sat in the tree branches above her. She started to climb the branches. Mesmerised by the beauty of the aurora borealis, Kai didn't even hear her coming.
Mineko startled him, and in an instant, became stuck in his grasp. Kai calmed down and released her, Mineko coughing. He again stared at the aurora and asked her what it was she wanted. Sitting next to him, Mineko tried to be brave, "I.... I want an explanation, tell me why you took me and why you had to hurt everyone!" Kai was unmoved by her courage, but he looked at her, and just stared. It started to become a staredown, untill Kai broke the silence, "Would you be willing to put your life at risk to know the truth?"
Confused by this, Mineko's expression went blank. Kai spoke again, turning back to the aurora, "You have a past. You were never human, and never will be...... I can't believe... You really threw it all away..." Kai's eyes glazed over. Mineko, partially to break the silence, and partially to snap Kai back to reality, inquired about the device she had seen earlier, "What was that thing? You were using it earlier, like a cell phone." At this Kai's eyes became very clear and his pupils shrank.
He pinned Mineko down, his face falling next to her ear. He whispered, in a voice seeming to hold something back, "Listen to me. You will not learn about such things... Not again." Kai knew Mineko's past, and she was really starting to want to know about it. Mineko figured that it was her past, and she should know what happened.
Mineko was going to speak again, when Kai's pin-down turned into a hug. He said something so quietly, Mineko could bearly hear it at all. He said, "I'm not going to lose you again...... Even if I have to take you back by force." Kai was speaking more to himself, thinking Mineko couldn't hear him, but she did. "...You were so foolish..... Of all the places you could have run to, why here? He was so close to you I could smell your death...."
Mineko, still trying to figure out where she was or why she was there, felt her head rushing around. Too much information was coming into her mind. Out of pity, Mineko patted Kai's back. He held her tight and kissed her, as if they had been in love for ages. Mineko was in a total state of shock. Part of her was excited about her first kiss, but....
Then, she remembered. This was the demon who had destroyed her church. This was the man who had hurt her friends. She didn't even know if Renisa was alive! She shoved Kai off. He looked at her through wide-open eyes. Something about him seemed to scream 'oh no!'.
Mineko's opened wide and began to tear up. She just remembered Ginek! He was the one she had liked, maybe even loved, for almost a year! How could she be so unfaithful as to let another guy, let alone a kidnapper kiss her?! Mineko scolded herself multiple times in her mind.
Immediately, Kai got off of Mineko and jumped from branch to branch, keeping his distance, but watching over her. He waved his hand in front of his ear, and started to talk to the other demon again. Mineko leaned against the tree trunk and began to cry silently.
_____________________________________________________________________

Renisa's blindfold was taken off by Ginek, who had also changed appearance. He looked very similar to Renisa, only with yellow eyes and shorter hair. He smiled, glad to see she was safe. Renisa, momentarily forgetting the situation, started to shout at Ginek, "What were you thinking?! I was trying to find Mineko! You could have just made me loose her!! Don't yo-" Ginek kissed Renisa, cutting her off.
In shock, Renisa sat there, silent. Ginek smiled again, "Don't worry..." Renisa's eyes opened wide. She knew of Mineko's crush on Ginek, and became furious, "What did you do that for?!?!" She smacked Ginek across the face.
Ginek stumbled back, and asked her what she was talking about, as if he didn't know. Renisa, being the friend that she was, couldn't reveal Mineko's crush to him. She looked away, pouting. She mumbled, "... Two-timer..."
Ginek, unbeknownst to Renisa, smirked. He knew exactly what was going on. But of course, he had to keep Renisa in the dark. He turned back to Renisa, who was still mad, and said, "C'mon, we have to find Mineko." Renisa followed, but was not silent. "Isn't that exactly what I was telling you?? You didn't have to blindfold me!"
Ginek quickly had an answer ready, "Would you believe who I was if I just walked up to you?" Renisa stared blankly. He was right.
_______________________________________________________________________

We all have different ways of understanding. Understanding our souls and the world around us. Mineko looked at Kai. He was still talking to someone. Curious, but skeptical, Mineko waved her hand in front of her ear. Nothing, she thought. Then, instead of a device for talking, a violin appeared. In Mineko's left hand, she held a violin, in her right, a bow. Both made of light.
But there was one problem. Mineko didn't know how to play a violin. She stared for a moment at the instrument. Then, she put them into position. She thought that if she could make this instrument appear, maybe she could play it too. She started to imagine a song, and moved her hands.
Her fingers seemed to move on their own, as she played the melody exactly as she imagined. She was feeling happy. As strange and frightening her time had been so far, she smiled. She was imagening such beauty, she couldn't hold it in. So she played it with her newly-found talent.
She got lost in the music. Her eyes shut, and she smiled bigger. Kai immediately stopped talking. He listened, to rest for just a moment. But then, remembering something, he ran to stop Mineko. She didn't even seem to notice him coming.
Mineko started to play another song, one seeming very familiar to her. Kai stopped in his tracks. This was the song she played for him, so long ago. Eyes wide open, Kai almost fell into a sitting position.
_________________________________________________________________________

Renisa heard something, and stopped. By now she and Ginek were on top of the hill she had started to climb. Ginek, hearing it too, simply said, "I think we have a lead." Renisa, following the sound, started to run. It was a melody, reminding her very much of Mineko. Ginek followed.
In a little while, they found themselves at the foot of the mountain where Kai and Mineko had been earlier. It was morning. They started to climb, feeling no hunger nor thirst, nor the need to rest.
_________________________________________________________________________

On the beach where Mineko had been, it was still night. It seemed to constantly be so, the aurora borealis constantly dancing to the tune of the elements. Mineko continued to play, happily. Kai sat in a daze, still unnoticed by Mineko. He was seeing flashbacks.
Flashbacks of himself, and Mineko, and Renisa, and... The battles. He snapped back to reality. He then pressed his middle and forefinger to Mineko's marking. Her eyes opened, and her violin disappeared. She stared at Kai, sad that he had made her stop playing. He whispered, "Why...?"
Mineko saw the pain in his eyes, and began to tear up. Through her tears, Mineko whispered back, "I'm sorry, did I hurt you...?" Kai held her, and put his chin on her head. He was taller than her, and could do this. Feeling bad, Mineko hugged Kai.  

[Musical Beanbags]

Chapter 3: Blood
Renisa and Ginek walked through the halls of the castle, seeing it abandoned. Ginek knew his way through this castle and led. He delibrilatley avoided the hall with the paintings. Renisa, so confused by the situation, followed silently, taking in all the sights and sounds. She could even hear the monsters sleeping. Walking through the hall would wake them, putting them in danger, and giving away Ginek's position. They went right to the window where Kai had jumped out with Mineko.
Ginek could see Kai and Mineko on the beach. He started to climb down, carefully keeping out of sight in case Kai were to look up at the mountain. Renisa saw Mineko, and hurried Ginek along. She was also afraid of Kai, so she stayed out of sight as well.
The tropical peninsula Mineko and Kai were on was very small, it was in a bay, surrounded by mountains, and connected to the mountain upon which the castle was built. Renisa found herself following Ginek through the forest, dodging branches. A few yards away from Mineko and Kai, Renisa started to run, but was stopped by Ginek's arm. He grabbed her and motioned her to be quiet with a finger to his mouth. He had a marking on his palm. He waved it a bit, and a spear appeared.
He instructed Renisa in a quiet tone, "Come on, we're going to catch them by surprise." Renisa stopped him, "That's Mineko! What are you doing?" She ran out to Mineko, who was still being held by Kai. Surprised, she ran to Renisa, and hugged her.
Renisa asked her, "What's going on? Are you ok? You look so different!" Mineko responded, "I could say the same." She laughed a little to herself, "Look what we've gotten ourselves into this time." Renisa smiled.
Ginek walked out of the forest. His spear was gone. Mineko, still crushing on him, blushed. She looked at him wide-eyed. "Min." he said. Mineko ran to him, confused by his new appearence. Kai seemed very uneasy, ready to attack Ginek if he tried anything.
Ginek smiled at Mineko. But this was different, she could see he had changed. His eyes held no gentleness. Mineko felt she was in danger of something. Ginek turned his gaze to Kai. He grinned at him, daring Kai to hurt him with Mineko right there. Kai shot him an angry look. Mineko stepped back, she felt herself getting in the way.
Ginek charged Mineko. He grabbed her and pulled her close. Mineko had liked Ginek, but she screamed, knowing that this wasn't for love. Kai, being truely ticked off, moved so fast that he became a blur. He grabbed Ginek by the face and shoved him into the dirt. Kai took Mineko and held her from behind, his free arm outstretched to protect her.
Renisa's eyes glowed, along with her marking. She wasn't herself anymore. She moved to Ginek's side with great speed. Kai could see it was time to go. Renisa shot an evil look at Mineko. As she was carried away, she could just see Ginek's hand up, controlling Renisa like a puppet. She yelled to Kai, "We have to go back!" Kai was resolute, "You're not going back! Not again! He won't do anything to Renisa as long as she's useful to finding you."
Mineko stared at him in awe, "So we're just going to leave her?!" Kai looked forward, then slowly nodded. "No! We have to get her!" Mineko started to kick and struggle. It was no use. She started to pray for Renisa's safety.
Mineko fell asleep. She had never felt as tired as she did right now. Kai, also feeling drained, stopped running. They had ended up in a field far away. Kai set Mineko down and went to sleep a few feet away.
She woke up. The time seemed to be mid-day. Seeing that Kai was still asleep, Mineko began to walk. She wanted to go back for Renisa. She took a guess at which direction to go, and didn't stop for miles. almost a third of the way to the peninsula, Mineko realized how hungry she was. There were no fruit trees or berry bushes in sight. Mineko also had no money in case she found a town.
Finding nothing else she could do, Mineko got out her violin. She began to play a sad song. Kai, meanwhile, was still asleep. Subconciously, he began to dream of his past. He could hear Mineko's song in his ears even when she was far away. In his dreams, he could see events until now buried back into the deepest darkest parts of his mind... This was Kai's dream:
"'Mineko! Mineko! Where are you?' Kai ran, looking for her. 'Kai!' Mineko yelled, 'Help!' Kai found a small room with an open door. Inside the room was Ginek and Mineko. Ginek was tying up her mouth, all the more enraging to Kai. He ran to the door, but the hall seemed to get longer and longer. When he finally reached the room, it was too late. He saw Ginek, letting her slip from his 'saving grasp'. He saw the crest shine the dark light, and he saw his love disappear into the abyss."
Kai woke with a sudden jerk. He had broken into a cold sweat during his sleep and found himself panting. Kai looked around to see if Mineko was safe. Then he heard the melody, and began to run. He followed the sound until he came upon Mineko, still playing her violin.
With a quick swipe, he moved his hand through her violin and pressed his forefinger to her forehead. Her violin disappeared and she looked at him blankly. She knew she wouldn't have the energy to run anywhere, so she floped backward onto the grass. She laid there, not really caring about what would happen now.
Kai laid down beside her, resting his head in his palms. He lay staring at her, and after a silence, he spoke, "So why'd you run?" He acted like he didn't know. Mineko responded, playing along, "What'll happen to Renisa?" Kai stayed quiet for a long time... They laid there, just sitting in the sun.
It grew dark. Mineko asked another question, "Kai?"
Kai answered, "Mhmm?"
"Where are we?"
"..."
"Kai, I want to go home."
"Why?"
Mineko looked at him, as if he'd just asked the stupidest question in the world. Then, she thought to herself. She'd never been the most popular, and she was never close to her parents, not enough to really care. She mostly took care of herself. She responded, "I guess... I thought that maybe things would be normal again if I went home."
Kai looked at her, "You really don't know."
Kai got up. "C'mon." He grabbed Mineko's hand and pulled her up and on to his back like a piggy back ride. Mineko yelped a bit. Kai set off walking into the forest.  

[Musical Beanbags]

This is all I have of chapter 4 so far... Hope you dig. :3
Chapter 4: Remember and live on
Kai continued through the forest with Mineko on his back. Mineko wondered if he knew where he was going, but didn't want to ask. She thought to herself that she doesn't remember him, but feels like she knows him already. She let herself fall asleep, hoping that maybe she could wake up in her bed and everything would be normal.
Mineko's wish was granted, in a sense. She awoke in her bed, and crawled out of the covers to make sure that this wasn't a dream. She went townstairs to find a note from her parents. It read: "Dear Mineko, your father and I have to go to a meeting out of town, if you need us, call us. Love, your mother. P.S. We should be home within a week or so."
Mineko stared a bit at the note and realized. It was as if she never really left! She could return to school claiming that she was sick and everything would be normal!
Then she remembered Renisa. What had happened to her? Was she alright? Was all that she remembered just a dream? Mineko sat for a moment confused. She then remembered how hungry she was, and grabbed everything she could eat without cooking and started to eat.
Mineko glanced at the clock, 7:00 AM, just enough time to get ready and rush to school.
Mineko ran upstairs to start and looked in the mirror. Her skin was normal again! So was her hair, her forehead, everything! She smiled and got ready. Maybe everything had gone back to normal after all!
She walked to school and sat down at her desk.
As everyone settled down, the bell rung. One of the teachers, seeming to have recovered from her first encounter with Kai, walked to her podium. "Good morning everyone. Today we have a little surprise for you all. "
Everyone, including Mineko, looked up to see what was so important. Mineko glanced at Renisa's desk, she wasn't there. Then she looked to Ginek's desk. Surprisingly, he was there, and seemed back to normal. Mineko considered that maybe she had just bumped her head and dreamt all her experiences during the night, and now Renisa was just sick. She calmed down a bit and looked back up to her teacher.
She was leading a boy into the classroom. Mineko's teacher spoke as she did so, "Today we have a new transfer student. Make him feel welcome." Something about this new boy seemed older than he looked. He had jet black hair, a scar on his cheek, and sharp brown eyes. The girls who were in the so called 'in crowd' set their eyes on him from the moment he walked in.
Mineko's teacher introduced the new boy, "His name is Kait Anashi, and he will be joining us as of today." She instructed Kait to sit next to Mineko, in Renisa's empty seat. Mineko looked at him, and saw that the scar was in the exact same spot Kai's crest was! Mineko's eyes widened as she stared at the human form of Kai.
The teacher then started class. Math, History, English, and Science came and went before the bell finally rung for recess and lunch. Mineko looked at "Kait" for a few seconds before she was shoved out of the way by the popular girls.
Two of them, Carin and Namine, sat down in Mineko's seat and on her desk, and started asking Kait questions. They asked about where he was from, why he came, if he had a girlfriend, the works. Kait answered simply, he didn't talk much to them and didn't make eye contact either.
Renisa wasn't there to entertain Mineko, so she simply leaned against the back wall and watched. She didn't think there was much else to do. After about the sixth-millionth question, Carin scooted close to Kait.
Mineko's face turned red. She walked over to Carin and pulled her away from Kait, who had shown no interest in her. Mineko tried to stay calm, and told Carin, "Leave him alone. Can't you see that no boy will like you if you're personality sucks?" Carin stood up, and Namine stood up by her. Carin said, "Shut up Min. You don't know anything, in fact, I bet this boy is just dying to prove you wrong." she got in Mineko's face.
Then Carin started calling Mineko terrible names and insulting her. Mineko stood there, refusing to back down. She stared at Carin with anger in her eyes and a silent intensity. Mineko never liked Carin. She had always stolen everything Mineko put her heart into, and she was not about to stand by and watch Kai get stolen from her, even if she didn't remember him like he did her. Namine joined in, and before long, Mineko had two girls barking insults at her face.
Mineko spoke up, "Hmph. You see? You just proved my point. Look at yourselves, going after every guy in sight and then chewing me out over nothing!" Carin and Namine started to swear at Mineko now, calling her names that no one should have to put up with. Mineko was used to this however, and stood her ground. She refused to be intimidated by the likes of Carin and Namine. Mineko knew that right now, Renisa would be standing by her side if she could, defending Mineko and using clever comebacks.
Kait stood up. "I've heard enough." He shoved Carin and Namine away from him and each other and walked to Mineko. He put one arm around her and hugged her. Carin and Namine were in shock. They looked at him like he had just pulled out his common sense and gone insane.
Kait then turned to Carin and Namine, still holding Mineko with one arm. "You two called Mineko such things that girls your age should have never even uttered." They stared, expecting Kait to be on their side. He continued, "You don't know Mineko. She's beautiful and has a heart of gold, much more than I could say for you two."
Carin protested, "She's a monster! An ugly beast!" Kait glared at Carin with such hatred in his eyes that they seemed ready to set on fire. He said to them, "If you want to see a really hideous monster, go look in the mirror." He then turned and led Mineko away to the other side of the room.
Mineko looked up at Kait and whispered, "Thanks Kai, I needed some help back there." Kait whispered back' "Kait. Call me Kait here." Mineko looked up at him with a sarcastic smile. "Yeah, Kait. That took a reeal long time to come up with." He smiled back, "Shut up, you ''hideous beast''" At this Mineko laughed.
The bell rung again. Time for afternoon classes. Mineko sighed, she had missed lunch. She sat down again in her seat, and Kait sat next to her. Mineko felt a bit of satisfaction remembering what had happened at recess. She knew now that just about every girl would be against her, and part of her, ws ready to take them all on in an instant.
Classes came and went, and the bell rung, signaling everyone to get up and get out. Mineko walked alongside Kait. He hadn't brought a backpack or anything. Out of the corner of her eye, Mineko could see Carin and Namine giving her the stink eye. Mineko smiled. She walked closer to Kait and held his hand. Kait let her, of course, and Mineko glanced back to see Carin and Namine staring jaw-dropped and mad. Mineko and Kai walked outdoors, and Kai pulled her to the side of the building. They sat on the grass untill about everyone was gone.
Mineko asked Kai, "Hey Kai?"
"Mhmm?"
"Where do we go now?"
"Where do you want to go?"
"You know that's not what I meant."
Kai got up and offered his hand, "C'mon, you should see something."

(Once again, out of ideas! sorry! xP)  

[Shallarinath]

Well I've read the first chapter and a fair bit of the second, it is very interesting, but you need more detail, and a thicker plot. Things seem to be moving way to fast, it seems like you have a super condensed half of a book's worth of material here, but you need to strech it out so it becomes much more intriguing.  

[Musical Beanbags]

Okay, thanks. I've been rping for a while to get ideas n' such, but I really appreciate the advice. I really wrote this about a year ago. (or something like that.) so I know I need improvement. Anyway, thanks again. ^^  

[Shinigami-Acorn]

I have to agree with Shall on this one. It needs a bit more suspence [or maybe I just can't satiate my hunger for suspenceful stories!]. Also, I'm sure it could be just because of space reasons, but it would be a lot easier to read if the quotes were seperated into different paragraphs. You know, starting a new paragraph after every speaker and all that jazz.

Other than those small things, the plot line you have is pretty solid. Good work. biggrin  

[IvyStarling]

Your work is pretty solid and it is captivating as well ^^

However, I think the plot has been moving too quickly. You'll want to develop Mineko's character more before you launch into the action. Thicken the plot a little. Add more suspense and draw out more time between major points in the plot. Maybe add a few more scenes before Mineko gets kidnapped in the first couple of chapters to reveal a little more about her mysterious past.

And this is a small thing, but it would be nice if you spaced out your paragraphs.  

[defineinsane]

Your writting is really good. But I agree with everyone else. Maybe if you just added a little bit more about the characters, and what was going on a little more...? It is really good though. Keep up the good work!