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KATIE HUNTER
by Just_Fn_Crazy
“You can't get a license,” a voice in his mind said. “You're mentally ill.”
'Are you now, or have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness, or other mental disorder?' he read on the application for a small game license.
“What's this?” he asked the clerk.
“Beats me,” the clerk said.
“You mean though,” he said. “If I were mentally ill you couldn't sell me a license?”
“I guess so,” the clerk said. “But why? You're not crazy, are you? I mean you don't look like a nut.
“Mentally ill people don't like being called crazy, you know. And anyway, what are they supposed to look like. Tony Perkins?”
“I never thought of it that way. Tony Perkins isn't even cra... Is he?”
“No. He isn't.”
“Hmmm! But he sure looked like a … I mean, he sure looked like he was mentally ill though. Didn't he?”
“I don't know what mentally ill people are supposed to look like. Do you?”
“I thought I did.”
“From what I know. They look like almost anybody, since almost anybody could turn out to be mentally ill.”
“Yeah. I suppose you're right. But I don't know now whether I can sell you a license or not now.”
“Here. I'll make it simple for you.”
He checked the box to indicate that he was not mentally ill.
“Liar!” the voice in his mind said.
'I am not lying,' he thought. 'It's more like an act of civil disobedience. If they catch me, I'll test the constitutionality of it in court.'
“Oh,' the clerk finally said. “You're not mentally ill then?”
“If I was, do you think that I would tell you ?”
“He's not going to sell it to you,” the voice in his mind said. “You'll have to go somewhere else.”
“Then you are mentally ill?” the clerk asked.
“You'll have to tell him that you're schizophrenic now,” the voice said then.
“Are you going to sell me one or not?” he asked.
“”Well,” said the clerk,reading his name on the application. “You look like a regular guy to me. Why not? That'll be fourteen dollars, Gabriel.”
Gabe gave him a twenty. The clerk gave him back six and smiled. But Gabe didn't smile back.
“You're just pulling my leg, right?” the clerk said.
“Am I?” Gabe said.
“Well, even if you are, I am sorry about what I said earlier. I'll watch it and not call anybody crazy, or a nut, from now on.”
Gabe nodded and walked out of the store, got into his pick-up and drove away. But he noticed that the clerk watched him all the time.
'Who would have figured it, Katie?' he thought. 'They don't even want me to hunt grouse anymore.'
“Who don't?” a female voice in his mind asked.
'I had to lie to get my license just now.'
“Ignorance, Dear. What are you going to do?”
'I just wish there was somebody I could report them to.'
“Now Gabriel, don't get all worked up over it. That won't settle anything. Trust me. It's really just a little thing. You got your license, didn't you?”
'Yeah. But it didn't feel very good. Especially, when the guy wanted to know if I was a nut or crazy. It hurts. You know?'
“I know, Dear. But it's not worth getting all worked up over. Now is it?”
'You are right Katie. You are always right.'
“I know Gabe.”
'No I mean it. You're so good for me.'
“Thanks Gabe.”
'You know, someday I'll meet up with you. And when that day comes I'll marry you.'
“Maybe, Gabe. But how do you know that I'm not just one of your voices too.”
'Oh. I know. You're not like them others. Besides I asked God to let me talk to my future wife before I ever started talking to you. No. You're somewhere alright. And when we do finally meet you'll know it's me just like I will know you. I just wish that I could see you. You know, in my mind's eye, like I see all those other people , sometimes'
“That would be quite a miracle, Gabe. A good one too.”
'Katie,' he thought. 'You already love me. Don't you?'
“Yes, Gabe,” she said in his mind. “I love you.”
'Good,' he thought. 'I'm glad. And, Katie, I love you too, you know?'
“That's wonderful, Gabe. That's just wonderful.”
'Thank you, Father,' he thought. 'Even if I have to hear voices, at least, I can have Katie. Someday, I mean. But when will it be, Lord? I haven't even met her yet, and already I feel lonesome for her.'
“You've missed your turn,” the first voice in his mind said.
'I haven't gone that far!' he thought.
“I knew you would. You daydreamer.”
'I am not a daydreamer. Katie really does exist. Don't ask me how I know. Call it faith, or esp, or whatever; I just know.'
“Okay. Maybe you're right. But you missed your turn, I tell you.”
'No I did not. See there's that big spruce and pretty soon there will be a big red pine. There! See it?'
“Huh-uh. You're wrong.”
'No I'm not,' he thought as he slowed to enter the woods.
“Is this where you were going?”
'Where did you think I was going? I always go here. There are more grouse here than Nimrod could have killed in a month.'
“Nimrod? Who's he? One of your voices too, no doubt.”
'Nimrod was a great hunter. It even says so in the Bible. So there.'
“Oh, him. I had forgotten about him. Sometimes I'm almost human. But it's not important anyway.”
'Oh yes, but it is. It proves that you're not some angel like I used to think you were. You're just a voice that I hear.'
“How do you know that I'm not someone you'll meet someday, like Katie?”
'I certainly hope I do not meet up with you. I don't even like you. Can you imagine what it's like for me to have the voice of someone he doesn't even like in his mind day after day. That's why I'm glad I got Katie. If I only had you I would go crazy.'
“It's foggy! You won't get any birds today.”
'It is a little foggy. Well, maybe I'll get lucky and see one anyway.'
He slowed the pick-up to a crawl and watched the road with great intensity, hoping that a grouse would find itself out in the road when he rounded a corner, or cleared some brush.
“Aw. This is ridiculous! I'm telling you, you won't get anything today. Just look at how foggy it its.”
'Would you shut up and let me hunt? Don't you think this is hard enough without you?'
Just then he thought he saw a grouse run into the road. So he stopped the pick-up and loaded his shotgun. Then he opened the door, very carefully, and stepped out into the fog. But all he could see was a faint shadow in the fog over the road.
He thought about taking a few steps forward, but was afraid that would startle the bird, so he stayed where he was. He took the gun up to firing position and after taking as careful aim as he knew how, he pulled the trigger.
There was the customary loud boom of the twelve gauge going off, and the usual smell of gunpowder. Then he thought he saw the grouse thrashing around in the road ahead of him. So he moved ahead quickly, and bent down to field dress the bird. But just as he was about to touch it something moved in the brush to his left.
He looked to see what it was while continuing to reach down for the bird. He couldn't see what had moved, but his hand didn't find the bird either. He looked where the bird should be, but there was only sand. The bird had seemingly disappeared!
“What the hell?” he said aloud.
“Where'd it go?” the voice in his mind said.
“He looked around frantically. But there was no sign of the bird. He could see both sides of the road clearly and he could see far enough down the road and back to the truck to have seen the bird, had it flopped around and moved away. It was simply gone and there was no explanation for it.
“It must have been the devil!” the voice in his mind said to him.
'The devil?' he thought.
“Yeah. Old Satan himself must have played a trick on us!”
'Satan!' he thought, becoming instantly alarmed.
“Sure. Can't you feel something evil around here?”
He felt a shiver go down his spine, but he couldn't tell whether it was the weather that had produced it, or the presence of something evil indeed.
“You better do something! I tell you, it was the Devil!” the voice said.
“Satan!” he shouted. “In the mighty Name of Jesus the Christ I command you to be gone!” But he could not feel anything different and Satan, if he did leave, he left silently.
'Katie,' he thought. 'A weird thing just happened.'
“What?” she said in his mind.
'Katie, I just shot a grouse, but the thing just up and disappeared.'
“Are you sure it was ever really there?”
'Sue. It was just as real as life.'
“Are you sure you weren't hallucinating again?”
'Hallucinating? Why of course that's it. Thanks Katie. I forget sometimes that I'm mentally ill.'
“No problem, Sweetheart. But it must be tough trying to figure out what is real from what is not all the time.”
“It is time that the two of you meet,” a large voice that seemed to fill the entire woods said.
“God,” Gabe said aloud. “Is that You?”
The voice was silent.
'Katie, did you hear that?'
“No. I didn't hear anything. The only thing that I hear is you. You know that Dear.”
'I think God just spoke to me.'
“God! Are you sure?”
'It sounded like God. I never heard such a big voice. It seemed to come from everywhere, all at the same time. It must have been God.'
“Maybe you were hallucinating again.”
'But what if I wasn't? What if it really was God?'
“What did She say?”
'It wasn't female.'
“Then you were hallucinating. Every time I think of God talking to me, She's always a female.”
'Aw. Don't be ridiculous! God is male. Why else would the Bible call Him “He” all the time?'
“I don't want to get into it with you Darling. But God is so a female!”
'Don't you even want to know what He said?'
“What did your hallucination say?”
'Oh, no you don't. Not this time. I know that God is male, and I'm sure He just spoke to me, I tell you.'
“Okay then, I'll go along with you to avoid an argument. What did He say to you then?”
'He said, It's time the two of you meet, and I think He meant you and me, since I was talking to you at the time.'
“Oh really? And how is that going to take place. You could be anywhere. How am I supposed to find you?”
'Just tell me where you are and I'll come there. I don't care if it's halfway across the world. I swear, I'll come!'
“I'm driving on highway 36 in Minnesota and I've just passed the Happy Hide-A-Way near...”
'Never mind! I know where it is! But which way are you heading?'
“East. Why?”
'I-I'm very near there! In fact, if I hurry, I should just about get to the highway in time to meet you!'
“You don't mean...! We can finally meet!” the voice in his mind said.
'What do you mean? Of course we'll meet! God said it was time. I heard Him—plain as day!”
“That wasn't God. It was just some old devil. He was retaliating for you commanding him in the name of Jesus when he didn't do anything,” the other voice in his mind said.
'And whose fault would that be? You're the one who said it was the Devil, remember?'
“So, I was wrong. What are you going to do about it?”
'You were wrong, and you're wrong now! We are going to meet. I can just feel it!'
“No you won't!” the voice in his mind said as Gabe reached the highway and parked.
'What kind of a car do you have, Katie?' he thought.
“She doesn't even have a car, fool,” the voice said. “She's just the voice of your imagination like I am. There's nothing to her but your own thoughts.”
'Shut up and let me and Katie talk.'
“What would she say if she were to talk to you?”
'She would tell me what kind of car she had and what color it was so I could tell when she went by.'
“How could she do that? She's nothing more than a hallucination.”
'No she is not! She can't be! I love her. She's got to be real. She has got to be!'
“Here comes a car. Maybe that's her!”
'Katie? Is that you?”
“Here I am Gabe! Here I am!”
'Is it really you?'
“Who else would it be?”
'Oh, great!' he thought disappointedly as the car passed him by without even slowing down.
'Hey!' he thought. 'Where are you going Katie?'
“I already told you,” she said in his thoughts. “East on 36.”
'No. I mean, why didn't you stop or at least slow down?'
“See? She's not going to let you meet up with her,” that other voice said.
'I'll catch you, Katie. Just slow down, honey!'
“What's going on, Gabe,” she said in his mind again. “Did I miss you?”
'I-I think so. But don't worry, I'll catch you,' he thought as he sped up in pursuit of the car that had passed him by.
“Even if that is her she's too far ahead now,” that other voice intruded again. “You'll never be able to catch her. Give it up! You'll get a ticket!”
'I wish you would shut up. If it hadn't been for you we would have met already, and right this minute I would be holding my Katie in my arm.'
“There's a car! Is that it?”
'Yeah! That's it! Hold on, Katie. I'm almost there!'
But she said in his mind, “Where are you, Gabe? I don't see any car in my rear view mirror.”
'What the hell is going on here? It's a man in that car.'
“It wasn't even her, fool,” that other voice taunted him now. “You've missed her again.”
'Katie!' he whined in his mind. 'Where the hell are you?'
He hit the steering wheel hard enough to feel as if it might raise a bump.
“Where is she you idiot! She's only in your mind.”
'Why the hell don't you just shut up. I think Katie said something. Katie! Where are you? I didn't hear you Darling. Where'd you say?'
“I'm in town now. Where are you, Gabe?”
'Park, Katie! I'll be coming into town soon. Just wait for me there. Okay? I'll be there I promise.'
“Okay. I'm at Fifth and Park Street and waiting for my Gabriel to come to me. But hurry, I can't take much more of this. For all I know you are just some voice in my mind you know.”
'Oh, I assure you. I am real. Very real. I just hope you will like what you see when we meet.'
“Oh, I will. I know I will, Gabe. I just know it!”
“This is ridiculous!” that other voice said. “She ain't no more real than I am. You'd just be making a fool of yourself again.”
'I'm almost there, Katie,' he thought ignoring the other voice this time. 'Just you wait a little longer.'
“See! There isn't even one car parked at Fifth and Park Streets. What did I tell you? She's thinner than thin air,” that other voice laughed.
“Katie? Where are you?” Gabe said aloud as tears formed in his eyes. “Katie,” he said. “Where the hell are you?”
His mind filled with a taunting laughter, his eyes filled with more tears, but there was no Katie to fill his empty arms. He sat for a long, sad time amazed that he could only feel the weird weightlessness of the air around him before he finally dared think.
'My God,' he thought finally. 'There is no Katie. There never was. I've been fooling myself all along!'
“But, he then said slowly, yet aloud. “ I love her? How can it be? How do you fall in love with an hallucination, a voice in your mind?
“I'm real, Gabe,” he thought he heard her say in his mind anyway.
“No you are not!” he yelled out his car window as he pulled into his driveway.
'Yes. Yes I am, Gabe. I-I just didn't want to meet you under those circumstances. Just look me up in the phone book and give me a call. We'll go out. I'm sorry I hurt you. Please. Give me a call, Gabe?'
“Oh, sure. How do I look up Katie in the phone book?”
“My last name's Olson, Gabe. Just look it up and give me a call. It's that easy.”
'Why don't you just tell me your number then?'
“God no! Who knows who might hear us?”
'You'd have a point there,' he thought as he opened the phone book to the Olsons.
There was no Katie Olson, but there was a K. Olson. So, he dialed the number before he lost his nerve.
“Hello,” a woman on the other end said.
“Katie?” he said.
“I'm so sorry. You must have a wrong number,” the voice said and hung up.
THE END
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