Peaceful Scene that the Child Watches (Working Title)

[Lily Venia Vitalis]

Her eyebrows knit into another, then unfurled back, slightly raised higher from her delicately closed eyes.

It must look strange to you, mother, that I am looking at this child as so. This child, curled up so tightly in her bed. This child that I guard by involuntary will yet sudden yearn to protect. This Child, so very special now, but no one --not even I-- knows. But with this sentence, as I know, you could not blame my reason in the next action.

I raised my hand and let it hover over her face. I nearly touched her, my intention to wake her. My conscience was the only restriction from my instinct to save this child from nightmare.

Why? It would have been effortless, as you might think. But, no, from the time she met me she begged me again and again:
"Never awake me from my slumber.
Let me tarry over yonder,
Even if it hurts me so,
I will always know."
She bade me promise. She begged me to never wake her. And, foolishly, I gave my word. I fear that I may be unable to stay on it one day, but my cowardice may prevent that.

But, the importance... Mother, I wanted to teach another human being. I was filled with some... how did you call it... desire? I was filled, I felt that if I did not touch her then, I would lose another chance to be fully human. The irony of that is that although I am human, unfortunately, my heart is not. Or so people have told me. I care not. But this feeling, I was not fulfilled since I did not touch her. I do not comprehend this emotion.

We both know that Father was never one for this kind of thing. We also know that his arrogance led to my mistakes and the eventual Death.

But, yes. Mother, there is also something about her. I cannot quite touch on it... it is sort of what they called "Like a very large baby." The child seemed peaceful for the rest of the night, none the less. She was a very large baby... the words escape me.

Ah, this is the word. "Cherubic." She is cherubic now, in her slumber, as I write to you. So odd, how this word seems to fit her. Almost as though it makes the moonlight into a dress for her... almost I can hear the music... the long lost ones you told me you had loved. Why you never play them is still a wonder.

Ah... how... cute? Mother, she wrinkled her nose. Now she tosses over, making an odd impression, her eyebrows knit again. It was almost as though ...

[The transcript ended here.]

Beyond the paper, the child giggled and the knight threw down the pen, afraid to show new feeling of warm face.  

[Lacan]

The vagueness kind of has an enchanted feeling to it, but it might help to know what we are reading. I like the narrative, there is something vaguely familiar about it, but I can't put my finger on it.

It seems like there are a few mistakes, but those are easily fixed. "Bade" would probably be better as "made", since it's kind of obscure to use it like that. You should also put the main part in quotes, or something like that to differentiate it from the end part.

It's a pretty good piece. If there is more to it, then you should continue writing, and post it here.  

[UC Poika]

It is clear you wanted it vague or that it came to you that way, but why do things like "but no one --not even I-- knows." It is to me anyway really quite vague why does it needs be cumbersome also. Why not "but no one knows. Not even me." or "but no one knows and not even me." I don't think I minded the vagueness but I didn't appreciate having to work so hard for just that. Forgive me. That's the way it hit me.  

[Lily Venia Vitalis]

Well... I wasn't sure what my mind set was at the moment. I do appreciate the comments, thank you.
The problem here was that I hadn't defined the character.
More importantly: All I had was some raw emotion unrefined that was in the shape of a knight... So the vagueness at that particular part, I felt, was part of the thought process...
I suppose it was being a bit of Schumann on my part, writing when fancy hits.
I keep meaning to refine it later...

But thank you. ^^

>_>'' If anyone else happens to read this little section down here, I'd like a bit of help:

I feel my main character, but I cannot mold their shape quite yet. They feel like a knight and their heart is cold but melting due to the princess.
The princess... I haven't molded yet either. She could be a sprightly child or an enchanting youthful adult... I'll figure that out eventually. But the pressing matter is the main character... Who do you all feel this knight to be, as far as biological genetics is concerned?  

[BB Rue Ryuzaki]

Seems Motherly to me. The Knight feels like a new young mother, curious about the new emotions stirring up in her. It was raw, I'll give you that, but is the child a child? It's all quite interesting.