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I started a sore of Spiritual Journal today. I've felt compelled to share part of it with certain people, and since no one (except a few people) on gaia really KNOWS me, I thought I'd share this with you all.
*It's kinda long too.
Oh God, my God. How wonderful you are! How you love me so, just as I am. I cannot even comprehend how much you love me. For I know all this in my head but not so much in my heart. My heart wants to believe in the love you have for me, but my head keeps getting in the way. Oh God, help me stop listening to my head so much. For it is you I love more than any and it is you who loves me more than any. How my heart and soul cry out and long for you. I cannot imagine you not being in my life in any way at all really. How great and wonderful you really and truly are God. You made roses the perfect shade of red, for me. You make the birds sing every morn for me. You fill the world with such fabulous colors for me. I am a star that you created. You created me to be me, you took the time to make me in your own image. How it makes me weep with joy to image you creating it all for me. How you have made the family and friends in my life for me to enjoy their company and for them to enjoy my company. God, my father, my savior, my Abba, my loving friend and father, how you love me and how I long to love you the same. I know what I must do God, give me the strength to actually DO it. Let me let go and let you take total and complete control of my life. How my heart and soul long to be so lost in you that one needs to seek you to find me. Help me to be the real me, no more hiding behind what I think people expect me to be, expect me to act, etc. Let me be who you want me to be. Oh God, how easily it is to follow the thoughts within the head and not what our heart speaks. How we need to stop thinking upon things and just do them. It is so easy to just give up and give in. It takes far more courage to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. God how you love each and every one of us, I cannot imagine such a love with so much hate within our world. I think of Phil Collin’s “Look Through My Eyes” Song. Not the whole thing, but parts in particular.
“There are things in life you’ll learn and
In time you’ll see
Cause out there somewhere
It’s all waiting
If you keep believing
So don’t run, don’t hide
It will be all right
You’ll see, trust me
I’ll be there watching over you
There’s a better place
Somewhere out there
Just take a look through my eyes
Everything changes
You’ll be amazed what you’ll find
If you look through my eyes
There will be one this journey
All you’ll see is darkness
Out there somewhere daylight finds you
If you keep believing
All the things that you can change
There’s a meaning in everything
And you will find all you need
There’s so much to understand.”
Wow God! You are truly amazing. Oh God my God, how you love me so. More than the sun, more than each and every star within the vast emptiness of space do you love me. I know this, I need to return the love. I need to accept me for me, as you have done. Christ died so I could be with you, so I could have the heavenly father I need since I have not the earthly father I need nor want nor seek. I know it shall take time to fix things with my earthly father but until such a time arises, mold me into the person you want and need me to be. Help me be a better…no, not better person, a stronger person. Stronger spiritually. Let me be strong enough to withstand the blows by the enemy. With you, my shield is stronger, my sword more sharp. The enemies will hear of me and flee in fear for you are with me always. I love you God, so much. I want to love you more and live more for you. Let me be more like you in the way you love me.
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