Advice please.

[Rellik San]

Ok, so my girlfriend, is still friends with her ex, they spend time together occasionally and I'm cool with that. But he feels awkward about the idea of spending time with me and her.

So she promised him, that he could spend his birthday with her if he could get time off, because he doesn't have any other friends so ok fair enough. Well he found out, that he could get time off, except it was whilst I was there. So she was really upset about it all because she didn't want to break the promise, so I took the high road and told her, I'd leave, so if he couldn't spend the actual day, he could spend the weekend with her. In itself an incredible show of trust, especially for me, because I'm easily made jealous.

Anyway when I get home I drop him a message saying simply, that for the girls sake, we should speak to each other if not in person, then online, just so if eventually a situation like that arises again, then hopefully it will be less awkward for him and he could spend time around us both. I also told him not to tell my gf, because she told me not to do anything of the sort.

Anyway, so I text my missus asking if she'll be online tonight, she says no, so I text her again, asking if she wants me to call her up, and she says no. So I ask what's wrong and she's majorly pissed off about this message. So I've just apologised and said its what I genuinely thought was the right thing to do and I'm sorry if it was wrong and I didn't mean it to be.

So my question is I suppose, how do I calm her down, how do I smooth this over and was I wrong in what I did?  

[Slayer Igraine]

So wait, you asked him not to tell, he told, and now she's pissed? Sounds to me like he's trying to s**t-stir a wee bit. :/ But on the other hand, you also did something someone had asked you not to do, which puts you on more even footing.

Personally, if I were you, I would text/message her saying 'I know I did something you asked me not to do, and I'm sorry, but I can at least provide justification for what I did. I asked him not to tell you, and he did - can he provide justification for that?'

You know you're gf better than we, though, is it better to leave her to calm down? Personally, I hate waiting around and want problems solved as soon as possible.  

[Rellik San]

Slayer Igraine

So wait, you asked him not to tell, he told, and now she's pissed? Sounds to me like he's trying to s**t-stir a wee bit. :/ But on the other hand, you also did something someone had asked you not to do, which puts you on more even footing.

Personally, if I were you, I would text/message her saying 'I know I did something you asked me not to do, and I'm sorry, but I can at least provide justification for what I did. I asked him not to tell you, and he did - can he provide justification for that?'

You know you're gf better than we, though, is it better to leave her to calm down? Personally, I hate waiting around and want problems solved as soon as possible.

Well I'd pretty much done all that, I'm gonna chat to her tonight and try and smooth things over.