I really like him...

[Veruniel]

So GGG, have you ever gone out with someone who didn't have a lot in common with you? Did it work out well or end badly? Are you still together or did you end up drifting apart?

I ask because I've met someone who seems to really like me, and I think he's cute and sweet. But our ideas of what to do on a Saturday night couldn't be more different. Usually I'll soak in my bath with a good book and a glass of wine. He'd rather be clubbing and downing enormous amounts of beer. I like soft Darkwave with minor-key melodies and not a lot of drums, and he likes metal. I go for walks out in nature when I'm bored, and he trawls 4chan. There are some things that we both like, but I wonder if it's enough to build a relationship on. At this stage, it's really hard to say.  

[AdrianaKitten]

Depends...are either of you willing to try what the other likes? Obviously there's something attractive about the stuff each you do. If not, then it might not work out since you can't stay that distant for that long and being together would be torture. (the bad kind) neutral
Or maybe the things that both of you do like are strong enough to hold you together. I'd give that a minutes thought and if it doesn't strike, move on. Compromise might sound nice on paper but you are talking about someone you will talk to, meet with, and probably invest your feelings in for a while. sweatdrop
What was the initial attraction was between you two? surprised
In my experience when dealing with friends who do not share the same interests (never dated anyone who didn't amaze me or share/accept my interests) it works with a lot of work and sometimes it pays off and sometimes it doesn't. 3nodding  

[Xx_neoreaper_xX]

I did and we completely failed, but she was one of my best friends but still.  

[trampyre]

Well, I was on a quest for an interesting (and recently updated) thread, and happily found this one.

This is a long reply. I hope I don't sound preachy. I just have a real passion for relationship issues, because I have been through some of the most incredibly challenging relationship situations possible, and feel compelled to help people if I can.

You've listed a lot of things you do NOT have in common. What about things you do have in common? It takes more than commonalities to make a real, solid relationship with long-term lasting power.

My questions are:

Is he willing to share in some of your preferred activities over his some of the time? Are you willing to do the same for him? IT could expand your interests and you might discover something you like beyond your comfort zone.

How do you resolve these differences? Do you talk about them openly? Are you willing to give him a chance and see if he has other qualities that make up for his lack of common ground with you?

There are things that make a relationship work besides having a lot in common. There's physical chemistry. Intellectual Chemistry (can you talk for hours with him about things? Do you feel you can just understand each other, or not even HAVE to talk when together? Are you comfortable with silence with him?). Similar or compatible life goals (Does he want kids? A house? What kind of job does he have/want to have? Where does he want to live? Does he want to travel?) Social Compatibility is important too. (Does he get along with your friends and family? Are you comfortable being with him in public and introducing him to new people?)

Emotional maturity is another issue. You need to be with someone who understands your ups and downs and can learn to go with the flow. Someone who understands what to do if either of you gets angry and a fight errupts. Someone who prioritises the long term health of the relationship over venting of short term angst, if possible. (I guess I'm assuming here that you want something long term. If not, just have enjoy yourself and see where it goes).

Do you both have a compatible sense of humour? Are there one or two key activities that you can enjoy doing together? How do you handle long periods of time together, or long periods apart? How well are you two able to communicate with each other your unique needs and desires? Does he show you he cares in the way that you need (eg, physical affection, buying gifts, compliments, admiration, spending quality time etc).

I'm babbling quite a bit. But it's because from my experience, in the long term, relationship skills have won out for me, time and time again, over common intellectual interests.  

[Veruniel]

AdrianaKitten

What was the initial attraction was between you two? surprised

We were both in DeviantSoc, which is for people who like Punk / Goth / Metal music, though he's more inclined toward metal and I'm more gothy. We do share some common interests... we like the same sorts of movies, we like more or less the same literature, and we're both big fans of the city we live in. So far we've always found things to talk about, but I do worry sometimes that this will fizzle and we'll find ourselves at a loss, because in some ways we are very different people. But then, I suppose taking up with someone who's too much alike can cause problems of a different sort.  

[divine_retrobution]

he pushed me away while we were dating, it wasnt good. im goth he isnt. the only thing in common = anime and manga  

[-Resurrected Writer-]

Yes, and it ended after the first date.  

[YellowRavenInk]

Well I did, me and my fiance do not have super much in common and we do like different things though I still love him like crazy.
Beside you cannot be with a person with which you don't have ANYTHING in common, is not going to work obviusly.
You must have some subject on which you have the same ideas about since if you go out togheter you gotta spend the saturday nightdoing something that both like.