The Long Dark Night of the Soul

[Ethermus Prime]

I certainly felt despair. I got a nice helping of despair lumped on my allready mounting depprestion when I was evicted from my apartment, and had to move back in with my mother....who if any of you know me on a personal level, was not a very nice person to me as a child.

Both of these conditions lessoned when i looked at things objectively though. In a strange way, this going backwards is actually going forwards.

You see, I built a bad habit of running away from problems I should face, and Facing problems that don't matter.

I left my parents because of issues, then i left Texas because of problems I didn't want to deal with. When I got back to Texas, I had to deal with every one of those problems in reverse order....and now the universe organized events to send me back to my parents home...to deal with those issues.

It's amazing how much Personal Growth I've had by "regressing".

Although if push came to shove and someone asked me why I keep going on.....I'd have to tell them because I don't know anything else.

Gods how many times I've wanted to just quit. Society, life...everything...I just don't know how.  

[With Motion]

I like this thread. I've been suffering from depression for like two years because of constantly thinking about the fact that I will die and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not sure if 'gnosis' of any sort would help... I've always believed fully that there is nothing but permanent unconsciousness in death despite how much I loathe the concept. I don't ever want that to happen.... I actually enjoy life at the moment xp

The only thing that's really helped is taking my mind off it by constantly being around friends, but now that i've switched colleges with no friends there and commute to school I can't stop thinking about it. i've almost broke down and cried on MARTA and in the middle of classes. I don't like talking to people about it so i never really thought about the fact that everyone else has the same feelings too, so that's sort of comforting.  

[Deoridhe]

ShadowSharrow

TeaDidikai

I hate this condition. For those of you who are out of the loop, this feeling of desolation, spiritual depression and loneliness is pretty much universal. At some point a rational person is going to ask themselves "Is there really a point to all this?"

Ouch, things have pretty much been that way for me for the last 4 months.
Gotten so bad I had to let my dr put me on meds, no idea how long it will last.

This may be out of place, but there's been a lot of research being done on controlled electric shocks to the brain and depression. So far it looks like almost all advantages and no disadvantages in how they're doing it, and the effects seem to last about three months with no side effects. The main problem is with publicizing it, since everything thinks "shock therapy" when they hear about it.

Anyway, if you're at the medication point for depression, that might be something to look into.  

[MoonJeli]

Deoridhe

ShadowSharrow

TeaDidikai

I hate this condition. For those of you who are out of the loop, this feeling of desolation, spiritual depression and loneliness is pretty much universal. At some point a rational person is going to ask themselves "Is there really a point to all this?"

Ouch, things have pretty much been that way for me for the last 4 months.
Gotten so bad I had to let my dr put me on meds, no idea how long it will last.

This may be out of place, but there's been a lot of research being done on controlled electric shocks to the brain and depression. So far it looks like almost all advantages and no disadvantages in how they're doing it, and the effects seem to last about three months with no side effects. The main problem is with publicizing it, since everything thinks "shock therapy" when they hear about it.

Anyway, if you're at the medication point for depression, that might be something to look into.

I know that when they first started researching it, there were a lot of problems with memory loss. Have they overcome those?

I have severe endemic depression -- very well controlled by medications, but I don't want to be on medication the rest of my life, due to long term side effects. I'd be very interested in this if there are no risks of memory loss. (My doctors have considered traditional shock treatment for me at times but my family didn't want to because of the side effects.)

@With Motion: My bf has similar issues -- he is an atheist who believes in oblivion after death, and it causes him a great deal of anxiety and depression, to the point that he wakes up in the night. However, he's really tackled it in therapy with a fantastic psychologist, and he's doing a lot better. He still doesn't like to think about it, but it no longer causes him to be constantly depressed. His therapist is Hindu, and also teaches MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, involving meditation techniques) and the ACT form of cognitive-behavioral therapy (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) which is very good for issues like this.  

[Deoridhe]

MoonJeli

Deoridhe

ShadowSharrow

TeaDidikai

I hate this condition. For those of you who are out of the loop, this feeling of desolation, spiritual depression and loneliness is pretty much universal. At some point a rational person is going to ask themselves "Is there really a point to all this?"

Ouch, things have pretty much been that way for me for the last 4 months.
Gotten so bad I had to let my dr put me on meds, no idea how long it will last.

This may be out of place, but there's been a lot of research being done on controlled electric shocks to the brain and depression. So far it looks like almost all advantages and no disadvantages in how they're doing it, and the effects seem to last about three months with no side effects. The main problem is with publicizing it, since everything thinks "shock therapy" when they hear about it.

Anyway, if you're at the medication point for depression, that might be something to look into.

I know that when they first started researching it, there were a lot of problems with memory loss. Have they overcome those?

I have severe endemic depression -- very well controlled by medications, but I don't want to be on medication the rest of my life, due to long term side effects. I'd be very interested in this if there are no risks of memory loss. (My doctors have considered traditional shock treatment for me at times but my family didn't want to because of the side effects.)

I believe they have; the voltage they use, from what I know, is very low. However, your best bet is to check into a couple of different places and see what they say and if it's consistent. A doctor would be able to be a lot more specific and useful than I would. ^^ It's definitely NOT traditional shock therapy.  

[With Motion]

MoonJeli

@With Motion: My bf has similar issues -- he is an atheist who believes in oblivion after death, and it causes him a great deal of anxiety and depression, to the point that he wakes up in the night. However, he's really tackled it in therapy with a fantastic psychologist, and he's doing a lot better. He still doesn't like to think about it, but it no longer causes him to be constantly depressed. His therapist is Hindu, and also teaches MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, involving meditation techniques) and the ACT form of cognitive-behavioral therapy (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) which is very good for issues like this.

yeah, that does sound quite similar to me. I'm not an atheist however, I still believe that deities exist even though I haven't attached spiritually to any, at least not yet. But I think that if even if I did, I could never believe in any sort of afterlife that might go with the theology... not without some serious gnosis xp  

[Fiddlers Green]

Life goes on... long after the thrill of living is gone...

For my part, I carry on because I must.
Purposeless, mindless, soulless... it matters not. I have a duty to fulfill, no more, no less.  

[Ethermus Prime]

Fiddlers Green

Life goes on... long after the thrill of living is gone...

For my part, I carry on because I must.
Purposeless, mindless, soulless... it matters not. I have a duty to fulfill, no more, no less.

I feel much the same way....except the whole duty thing. I carry on...simply because I know nothing else.  

[Ulfrikr inn Hrafn]

TeaDidikai

So before I went on this mad spree of thread generation- this was what was on my mind.

I hate this condition. For those of you who are out of the loop, this feeling of desolation, spiritual depression and loneliness is pretty much universal. At some point a rational person is going to ask themselves "Is there really a point to all this?"

My experience says that only an injection of Gnosis can really cure this. Or maybe a shot of whiskey- but my money tends to fall on Gnosis myself.

Anyone up for talking about their own experiences?
How about advice that acts as a snip of brandy in one's tea?

Heilsan,

In my own case, I think that everyone whom is human at some stage must question the point of their own existence. I have noticed that there are a great many ways of dealing with this, and whilst we can categorise them into general terms, each person, in my experience, addresses the issues in a manner which is unique to them, given that their own experience is unique.

I myself have pondered the whole existence thing, and have at times wondered if it wouldn't be for the best to take a long walk off a short pier. There are a number of things which have determined my capacity and ability to look at such an idea and think it to be the cowards way out, and yes, I mean that literally. For starters, I believe that as a person of the Germanic Folkway, one of our tenets is strength both in mind and body, and keyed in with this is courage. Now it's interesting that our ancestors had no pejorative connotations when it comes to suicide, indeed, such a thing was practised at times and none thought the less of the people whom did it, but for myself, my outlook is that it's an admission of defeat.

I also consider the impact of 'to be or not to be' in terms of the impact on friends and family. For the Gaians here, I would just not log on any more, and likely some way or the other you may, or may not find out what took place, so the direct impact is relatively minor. However, for the great many people I know and am close to, such a thing would be a harrowing experience, and something that I would be loath to put them through, especially in the sense that I would be choosing to take 'exit, stage left' whilst leaving them with the mess to clean up.

I am also of the opinion that I'd rather not have to engage in another life just yet thanks very much. I'd rather live this one for as long as possible, for whilst it has its down sides, there are elements to it which are entirely enjoyable and frankly, to go through childhood again, well, I'd rather not thanks all the same.

But yes, it can be tough dealing with the day to day, the demands and needs of clients, family, friends, etc. I think our ancestors recognised this given that they had the concept of huoer muot, this translates as roughly 'higher mood', in other words, those whom were leaders and powerful were considered to have this higher mood, which was a joy and zest for life, for adventure. This was a sure sign of nobility amongst the Germanic Folk. It's not necessarily just the ability to take risks, but to always be of good cheer, no matter the situation that one is in.

Does Gnosis assist in determining that life has meaning and worth and carrying forward? My opinion is yes. But it's certainly not something that is necessary to achieve this as the things that I have written above attest, but it's perhaps the icing on the cake if you will, the fancy filigree work the foundations. So, do the gods and goddesses provide strength, yes, I believe they do, or perhaps it is merely that I believe that they do, and as my perception is my reality, well, there's your answer.

Ver thu heil  

[Fiddlers Green]

Ethermus Prime

I feel much the same way....except the whole duty thing. I carry on...simply because I know nothing else.

Of course...
Even if something is meaningless, even if it is some great cosmic joke...
I'm not really so upset by it.
Might as well enjoy what you can of it.
And just because the joke is at my expense doesn't mean I can't still laugh at it.

All things taken in consideration... it would probably be odd if we knew how not to exist. 3nodding