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Stories of the Emperor's Fists

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Battle Brother Bill

PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:46 am
This is the personal recollection of Captain Cassius Fenris of the Emperor's FistsIntroductionMy Men and I were on the battle ship 'Emperor's Fury'. I was the courageous and brilliant captain of the the second company. We had been sent on an exploration trip on the eastern fringe in Tau space. Supposedly there had been some unexplained warp activity on an Unnamed and charted terrestrial planet. The planet was mainly desert accept for the several oceans that had a high acidic quality to it making it unable to ingest. The planet seemed almost devoid of life except for small reptiles that managed to adapt to the harsh climate.
Chapter 1
By the time Cassius had disembarked from one of the several thunder hawk gunships the scouts had already reported in that the perimeter was safe within a 2 mile radius and were currently reporting back, The tech marines aided by servitors and a few battle brothers were currently constructing a temporary base with all basic needs. This included a Mess hall, A barracks, a landing pad for gun ships. Cassius removed his helmet holding it at his side, he wiped the sweat from his brow. Cassius was different he was younger then most captains of his chapter only being 300 and still having color to his hair. He walked amongst the battle brothers watching them go to work setting up the base, his hand casually drop to the hilt of his power ax, gently caressing it as he usually did. Everyone work quietly speaking only when necessary.Unbeknown to Cassius they were being watched, the phantoms were hiding in plain sight a mile away their bodies dug into the sand, the torn cloaks camouflaging them. Their bodies froze up at the sounds of sand crunching under foot.  The blue scouts were returning to their base, luckily they weren't spotted, as soon as they were out of there sight the two figures stood up in a crouched stance and hustled off to the east.  
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 1:29 pm
Chapter 2
Cassius was impressed with the quickly assembled base, everything from an Armory to a small statue of the Emperor was raised, before the sun had gone completely down. "Hail, Captain," echoed the throttle of the voice of Matthias, the company's chaplain. Captain Cassius smiled at Matthias, he was a giant among space marines being atleast a head taller then himself, his head was freshly shaven and his armor newly polished. Unlike Cassius who only had 6 golden studs in his forehead (Each signifying a half century of service) Matthias had 8, 3 above each brow he was the company's longest living chaplain, being of 456 years of age. "You know we will be getting 2 drenoughts to help us fortify our base tomorrow by noon," Cassius smiled at the thought of dreadnaughts. "Drednought will give us a great advantage over anything that may reside on this hell of a planet," the great Chaplain replied.  

Battle Brother Bill


Vikki Stardust

Sweet Vampire

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:18 am
I wouldn't exactly call these chapters, more paragraphs really.  
PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 5:40 am
Verrrry short, you might want to work on the length, structure and plot.  

Lady Blodwynn

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Caleidah

Eloquent Lunatic

PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 10:39 pm

*clutches both my heart and the right side of my head*
Gah! The pain! [/bastardmode]

Its horribly basic. Things need to be more...detailed? And longer. And better written.
 
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