Parent Problems?

[Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note]

I have the most annoying parents in the world!
My dad is practically harmless to some extent. He's just the kind of dad that if a skirt goes too short or a top is too revealing he says I'm not allowed out of the house until I change. If I came home one day dressed full goth he'd get so angry I'd be banned from having a social life.

My mum on the other hand, she's the real problem. She sometimes allows some gothic styles to enter my life but I'm forbidden from constantly wearing black 24/7, I'm not allowed to call myself a goth or talk too much about goth(s) infront of her, I can't wear goth makeup apart from eyeliner & mascara unless there is a big gothic event on or it's halloween, I can't listen to some gothic metal bands in the house unless with headphones on a low volume, I have to smile like a preppy cow every time we have guests and if I ever come home with my hair dyed black before I have control over my life then I will most likely be grounded until that age.

Any ideas on what the hell I can do to make my life easier or have them accept my gothness?  

[Ametrin]

Hmm, the best way is probably to try to find some compromise so that you will be content and your parents won't complain either.

I have the impression that you're trying too hard; you know, to be a goth you don't need to conform to the uniform stereotypical looks. Where would be the originality if all goths looked the same? This is what I don't like about many goths, specially the beginners, that they somehow feel that they MUST fit in a certain prescribed model of appearance, otherwise they are no goths.

Really, there's no need to wear black 24/7, overdone makeup or black hair. Why limit ourselves just to one colour? Sure black is considered the most typical colour for goths, but I consider it rather restricting.
And "I can't wear goth makeup apart from eyeliner & mascara unless there is a big gothic event on or it's halloween" seems perfectly fine to me. Just eyeliner or even no make up at all is fine on a normal day; I think it's silly to do more make up just on a normal school day, just save that for some special gothic events.

And hey, who says that goths aren't allowed to smile? This makes me think that it's maybe not only your way of clothing and prefered music that your parents don't like but maybe also your behaviour. If at the same time you started wanting to dress in black and talking about goth you also started to act all unpleasant and gloomy, then there's no wonder they are thinking that your gothic likings have a bad influence on you. But if you are kind, don't start unnecessary trouble and arguments with your parents, do well at school - then maybe they will see that gothic isn't anything harmful and it may be easier then to convince them to let you dress in the way you enjoy.

Also it could help if you try to explain to them that you really like the gothic culture and what it means to you, and if you found a good article e.g. on the net, one that writes about gothic in a reasonable way and explains clearly its origins, music, aesthetic and ideas. It can be that your parents really don't know anything about gothic besides some negative messages they maybe heard from other people, and they may be afraid that it will lead you to something dangerous, like drugs or cutting. If you actually explain to them that it's not the case, they may get to tolerate your likings better.

"Gothic metal", or any metal in general, doesn't really have anything to do with goth music btw. So if you really want to insist on calling yourself a goth you might actually get to listen to some goth bands instead, because that is and always will be an important factor in my opinion. And no, you don't have to listen ONLY to goth rock, but if you don't listen to it at all then it would make no sense to call yourself a goth.  

[GilAskan]

Luz Melian hit every point perfectly. That makes my typing load a lot lighter.  

[Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note]

Luz Melian

Hmm, the best way is probably to try to find some compromise so that you will be content and your parents won't complain either.

I have the impression that you're trying too hard;

Really, there's no need to wear black 24/7, overdone makeup or black hair.

And hey, who says that goths aren't allowed to smile?

I know where you're coming from, but I swear I don't think like that! I'm technically not much of a beginner because I've learned from my big brother when he used to be a goth. I don't wear black 24/7 but I do like what a lot of people do call 'goth clothes' because they sorta fit my personality a little and I just think they look awesome! My faveourite colour is black so I do wear a lot of black, but I often wear some other colour with it. Like red or pink or blue or dark purple. I do smile, just not often because I'm shy anyway and me not smiling has nothing to do with being goth. I actually have a pretty good attitude. I wasn't even gloomy on that first day when i came back from the green with my friends wearing my new black lipstick. I'm a bit like Ruby Gloom you see. Happy all the time but especially when it's all gothic and gloomy. They just don't accept me! Though it may be to do with the fact that my brother got beat up once for being a goth...  

[Lifesucks411]

Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note

I have the most annoying parents in the world!
My dad is practically harmless to some extent. He's just the kind of dad that if a skirt goes too short or a top is too revealing he says I'm not allowed out of the house until I change. If I came home one day dressed full goth he'd get so angry I'd be banned from having a social life.

My mum on the other hand, she's the real problem. She sometimes allows some gothic styles to enter my life but I'm forbidden from constantly wearing black 24/7, I'm not allowed to call myself a goth or talk too much about goth(s) infront of her, I can't wear goth makeup apart from eyeliner & mascara unless there is a big gothic event on or it's halloween, I can't listen to some gothic metal bands in the house unless with headphones on a low volume, I have to smile like a preppy cow every time we have guests and if I ever come home with my hair dyed black before I have control over my life then I will most likely be grounded until that age.

Any ideas on what the hell I can do to make my life easier or have them accept my gothness?

The goth culture is a contemporary subculture found in many countries. It began in the United Kingdom during the early 1980s in the gothic rock scene, an offshoot of the post-punk genre. The goth subculture has survived much longer than others of the same era, and has continued to diversify. Its imagery and cultural proclivities indicate influences from nineteenth century Gothic literature along with horror movies and to a lesser extent—according to César Fuentes Rodríguez and Carol Siegel—the BDSM culture.

The goth subculture has associated tastes in music, aesthetics, and fashion, whether or not all individuals who share those tastes are in fact members of the goth subculture. Gothic music encompasses a number of different styles. Common to all is a tendency towards a lugubrious, mystical sound and outlook. Styles of dress within the subculture range from deathrock, punk, androgynous, medieval, some Renaissance and Victorian style clothes, or combinations of the above, most often with black attire, makeup and hair.
you need to understand goth is not about wearing all black 24/7
and second of all you your trying WAY to hard to fit in.
Hell I am in the mall right now with jeans and a sweater.  

[-Lo Va Tits-]

i dont have that problem especialy with my dad (the metal head) or my mom who was gothish in high school  

[-Lo Va Tits-]

o_0-Toxic Dreams-0_o

i dont have that problem especialy with my dad (the metal head) or my mom who was gothish in high school

but my mom wont let me go outside in full goth attire or get my nose percied so i can get u nose chain (i make the cheep kind out of bracelets )she also wont let me go into the local goth shop if shes with me well she will if i beg
so i guess me rents are preety cool  

[perrenthezombie]

Luz Melian

And hey, who says that goths aren't allowed to smile? This makes me think that it's maybe not only your way of clothing and prefered music that your parents don't like but maybe also your behaviour.

I hate this argument >_>
People say that to me all the time. "Why don't you smile more?" "Why are you so sad?" I'm NOT sad. That's just the way I look when I'm not doing anything in particular. Why do I have to go around grinning like a moron all day? I was even accused of "trying to be too goth" or something to that effect by somebody at a Voltaire show.

People seem to just naturally connect my wearing black with my being quiet and not smiling all the time. Like I'm 'trying too hard.' Erg...

I'm not saying that what you said couldn't be the case, but from my experience, most of the time it's not, and I hate it when people assume that. :/