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i never use to cut, i use to have a great dark boyfriend, that understood everything,that loved me, well i found out he wasnt in love with me as much as i was, i was upset and we broke up. it was hard on me i love him alot, i really cared about him, after a couple of weeks started to move on, well not totally i still look at him and wish i could be with him, even if it isnt the samething. well one day my mother, told me i had too much makeup on and i looked like a wore, and i wasnt haveing a good day. so i just when to my bedroom. and i wasnt happy and so looking at the sissors i cut my wrist, i was happy after that, it was refreshing i hadnt cut my self before so i didnt no the reacttion, but now i love it. the next day i came home and that wasnt a good day either and i did it again and got the same reacttion, but i was worryed i didnt want to cut my self, so i didnt the next day. then the day after i was laying in my bed, and thinking about how much i missed being with him, and how much he seem to be so different now after the breakup and i was sad and i didnt want to be sad, so i cut my self, this time harder then usual, in the morning i saw the damage, in class it hurt, i was scared they see me cringing at the pain, the after math is sady much worst then the first effect of cutting.

this is not calling out for attention, i need some help i dont want to hurt myself to be happy, and forget the emostional pain in my life. help me pleaz