The roleplay room!!!

[tenjhotakayanagi]

early in the morning our hero is starting a new journey

Kiluske surprised hhhh!!! what time is it already??
mom:its already 10:00 a.m. dear,you might be late in the professor's lab
Kiluske surprised h yah i gotta go, ill skip breakfast first ,bye mom!!!!

going to professor Archie's lab

Kiluske:hello anybody home??
Prof. A surprised h sorry, and you are??
Kiluske:my name is Kiluske Delgado, i am from pallet town
Prof. A surprised h i see, your a new trainer right?? Maybe youll get your first pokemon here
Kiluske:awww man i hate basic pokemons ok ill choose

Vitarrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

Kiluske:what was that?!
Prof. A:i do not no Kilus, lets go check it out

meanwhile going to that pokemon

Kiluske:ahhhhh!!! what the heck is that
Billy The Pokedex:larvitar
Prof A. surprised h its a larvitar
Kiluske:i wanna catch it i wanna catch it!!!
Prof. A:Kilus,you cant you dont have a pokemon yet
Kiluske:let me borrow one of your pokemon lets see...... aha!! Chimchar

throws out the pokeball
FSHIOONG!!

chimchar chimchar!!

Prof. A.:be careful Kilus
Kiluske:yah i know
Kiluske:chimchar use ember attack!!

vitarrr!!!!!

Kiluske:great !!! now ill use pokeball
Prof A:go ahead!! win that pokemon!!!
Kiluske:go pokeball

3-2-1 tchug!!!

Kiluske:yahay!!! i caught a larvitar
Prof A:impressive Kiluske,now lets go back to the lab

Kiluske:so my starting pokemon is larvitar ey huh??
Prof A.:not just larvitar but ill also give you chimchar Kilus
Kiluske:WOW! its my lucky day!!!

and so our hero continues his journey to become a pokemon master
find out the nest chapter of his journey........  

[Karuta64]

Hoo boy...this needs serious work...

First of all, make the script readable and descriptive! Tell us what these characters look like, what they're like as people, where they are, etc. You're welcome to take a look at my script musical adventure "The Adventures of Kochou and the Beautiflies" to see what good script looks like.

Secondly, space everything out! It's a little hard to read when it's all scrunched together as it is now.

Thirdly, shouldn't your hero start with one Pokemon (i.e. Chimchar), and get the Larvitar later?

I'll leave the topic open for now, but please put more effort into your next episode or seriously revise this one.  

[tenjhotakayanagi]

and so the journey begins

Kiluske:excuse me mr., where is the pokemon center here
???:dont call me mr.,im still 13,my name is DarkeEve Landros
Kiluske surprised h sorry DarkEve
DarkeEve surprised h ok, the pokemon center is just there,walk forward then turn left and then walk forward again then the pokemon center is there
Kiluske surprised h,gee thanks
DarkeEve:hey, do you know a girl named Juno?
Kiluske:sorry i do not now

Going to the pokemon center

Kiluske:thank you for healing my pokemons nurse joy
Nurse Joy:your welcome ^_^
DarkEve:hey dude,how about a battle?
Kiluske:what in the world! i never tried battling a person
DarkEve:so ill just have to call you mr. scaredy cat??
Kiluske:uuhhhhh!!! ok ill battle you, but you have to tell me your pokemons first
DarkEve surprised k my pokemons are:scyther and piplup,whats yours?
Kiluske:ahem:larvitar and chimchar
DarkEve surprised k then i have found a battle area
Kiluske:where?
DarkEve:On the pewter park
Kiluske:you bet

Going to the national park.....

DarkeEve surprised k one pokemon random
Kiluske surprised k {oh no if he chooses piplup my chimchar will be toast .But if he uses his scyther i can win}

DarkEve surprised k lets start now!!

Both of them throws out there pokeballs

FSHIOONG!

Chimchar!!
Piplup Piplup!!

Kiluske: oh no im dead
DarkEve:haha lets make a deal .If i win you cant go to pewter gym
Kiluske:and if i win
DarkEve:ill have to win the pewter badge for you
Kilsuke:OK!!

THE CROWD BEGAN TO CHEER FOR BOTH OF THEM

crowd person 1:whooohoooo
crowd person 2:this is going to be nice

DarkEve:piplup use water gun attack!!
Kiluske:dodge it Chimchar

Chimchar!!!
Piplup!!!!!

Kiluske:great chimchar now use tackle
Chimchar!!!

Piplup!!!! Pip....lup

DarkEve:dont give up piplup use watergun now!!!
Kiluske:dodge it then use tackle!!

CHIMCHAR!!!!
pi..p..luppp

Referee:piplup is unable to battle,Kiluske wins
Kiluske:yahay!!!!!
DarkEve:tsk! i lost to a person like that.Ok im gonna win it for you

Meanwhile when he won the gym...

DarkEve:here is the badge
Kiluske:thanks man
DarkEve:sure
Kiluske:i better go now .I'm done with this city,i must go to the nest one
DarkEve:me too
Kiluske:sure we will meet again
DarkEve:yeah and ill beat you nextime
Kiluske surprised k.Bye!!!!
DarkEve:so long

And so our hero continues his journey to the next city and win the gym.  

[tenjhotakayanagi]

Kiluske continues his journey on the next gym but he is lost in some kind of place

Kiluske:im never gonna make there .Theres no way im gonna get out here,its so dark and cold
???:feeling lost here,me too im like im going to be an ice cube in here
Kiluske:who are you
???:Oh my name is Juno

Kiluske:{hey this girl is Juno? thats what DarkEve said}
Juno:is there something wrong?
Kiluske:no no..., ummm do you know the boy named DarkEve?
Juno:yes that is my step brother
Kiluske:what?!
Juno surprised k so lets see if we can get out of here.Ummm i have a request for you?
Kiluske:whats that?
Juno:can i stay with you in your journey?
Kiluske:sure but there is 1 condition
Juno:what?
Kiluske:you must catch a thuder pokemon for me
Juno:what?! where the hell im going to find a thunder pokemon
Kiluske:find me or else ill leave you in this place
Juno:whens the deadline?
Kiluske:when we get to cerulean gym
Juno:fine

On there way to find the exit

Juno:hey look theres a cleffary
Kiluske:dont tell me your going to catch it. Your wasting time
Juno:im not i just have to weaken it then catch it .How fast is that?
Kiluske: fine....

Juno throws out a pokeball
FSHIOONG!
bulba-bulbasaur!

Juno:bulbasaur use vine whip

Bulba!!!!
Cleffary...yyy..

Juno:i must throw pokeball now!!!!!
3-2-1 tschug

Juno:yay! i captured a pokemon
Kiluske:yah yah so who cares you still got to catch a thunder pokemon
Juno surprised h yeah i forgot

they found there way out already suddenly Juno found a pikachu

Juno:look a thunder pokemon
Kiluske:catch it catch it!!!!
Juno:i dont have pokeballs already
Kiluske:shoot!
Kiluske:ill have to catch it myself
Kiluske:go out Larvitar

FSHIOONG!
larvitar!

Juno:a larvitar?
Kiluske:larvitar use tackle

Vitarrrr!!!!
Pika..

PIKACHUUUU!!!!!

Kiluske:whaaaaa
Juno:whaaaaa
Kiluske:larvitar use ember attack

Vitarr!!!!
Pika...ch...uuu

Kiluske:i must use pokeball now
FSHIOONG
3-2-1 TSING!!

Kiluske:that was so close.Again
FSHIOONG
3-2-1 tschug
Kiluske:yay!!!!!!! i captured a thunder pokemon,pikachu
Juno:wow

And so our hero captured a thunder pokemon which he really wanted to be his first pokemon and Juno you may ask.She likes Kiluske a little bit what a relief.