Worst Things You Can Ever Say As A Pagan

[Henry Dorsett Case]

Preserved (in paraphrase) for posterity here because the person who posted it edited it out:

"All morality comes from religion unless ALL THESE CLASSES I TOOK were wrong!"

Note that the list of classes included not only "World Religions" or its ilk, but "English" and "History".  

[ShadowSharrow]

This was posted on one of the mailing lists i am on and I just thought I would share.

Quote:

Gimme
by Ellen Cannon Reed


I'm a solitary pagan
And I want to learn the Art.
So I've gone to many teachers
And I've asked them from my heart.

But everyone I've gone to
Has balked at teaching me,
And I just don't understand it,
'Cause I begged on bended knee:

GIMME GIMME GIMME
Everything that you've got.
GIMME GIMME GIMME
Right here on the spot.
GIMME GIMME GIMME!
I'm entitled, you know,
I'm a witch 'cause Starhawk told me so.

I don't want to join a tradition.
Wanna do things my own way,
And the way I'll do them tomorrow
Won't match what I'll do today.

I don't want just one tradition,
Cause it won't give me enough,
And I think that all of the teachers
Should just hand over their stuff.

GIMME GIMME GIMME
Everything that you've got.
GIMME GIMME GIMME
Right here on the spot.
GIMME GIMME GIMME!
I'm entitled, you know,
I'm a witch 'cause Starhawk told me so.

I don't want to make a commitment
'Cause I might not have the time.
And they tell me I'll have to work hard!
Well, I think that that's a crime.

Some said if I don't do reading
That I do not stand a chance.
Well, I've done all the reading I need to do,
'Cause I just read 'Spiral Dance."

GIMME GIMME GIMME
Everything that you've got.
GIMME GIMME GIMME
Right here on the spot.
GIMME GIMME GIMME!
I'm entitled, you know,
I'm a witch 'cause Starhawk told me so.

 

[TeaDidikai]

I think that should be put to music.  

[patch99329]

Paraphrased, but all the key stuff in in:

'I am a druidistic pagan who worships a eucalyptus tree in hiroshima which survived the A-bomb.
I an a first degree in celtic paganism but I need a third degree mentor to be able to create my supreme life form manifesto'

Then...HER FRIEND DIES.
And she's happy because he can take her supreme life form manifesto to divinity.

*EDIT*
Meh, I prefer the original:
am a Druidistic Pagan who Worships a Eucalyptus Tree in Hiroshima Japan which Survived the A-Bomb Blast
I am a 1st Degree Initiate of Celtic Paganism who needs a 3rd Degree Mentor to Initiate Me and help me Spread the Story of my Sacred Eucalyptus Tree by Sharing Copies of my Supreme Lifeform Manifesto to their Friends, Family, Neighbors, Politicians, Beaucrates, Christians, Muslims, Hebrews, Buddhists, Firemen, Policemen, Nurses, Doctors, etc, etc, etc:  

[TeaDidikai]

patch99329

Paraphrased, but all the key stuff in in:

'I am a druidistic pagan who worships a eucalyptus tree in hiroshima which survived the A-bomb.
I an a first degree in celtic paganism but I need a third degree mentor to be able to create my supreme life form manifesto'

Then...HER FRIEND DIES.
And she's happy because he can take her supreme life form manifesto to divinity.

Patch... where do you come across this stuff?  

[patch99329]

^ I get all over the net wink
You meet funny people!

This was from mystic wicks forum.  

[queertastrophy]

patch99329

^ I get all over the net wink
You meet funny people!

This was from mystic wicks forum.

Ugh, I can't even look at Mystic Wicks. Makes me feel like my head is going to ******** explode. burning_eyes  

[TeaDidikai]

BlueRoseTorn

patch99329

^ I get all over the net wink
You meet funny people!

This was from mystic wicks forum.

Ugh, I can't even look at Mystic Wicks. Makes me feel like my head is going to ******** explode. burning_eyes

Meh. You meet all kinds of dem crazies on that there internet.  

[patch99329]

BlueRoseTorn

patch99329

^ I get all over the net wink
You meet funny people!

This was from mystic wicks forum.

Ugh, I can't even look at Mystic Wicks. Makes me feel like my head is going to ******** explode. burning_eyes

I've been a member for a week and I've been relatively sane so far.
Then again, certain things make my eyes twitch and I haven't seen evidence of them yet. For example 'Wicca is a nature religion for EVERYONE, gardner has no authority anmore.'
Gets me EVERY time >.<  

[patch99329]

' have a great book of Goddesses by Burleigh Muten (it's a juvenille book, but it's beautiful anyway...), and Lillith is listed as a goddess of wisdom, and protectress of newborn babies, fiercely independant and also associated with night winds. I knew that she was "demonized" by the church, etc. I just didn't realize how demonized till I got online and searched her out. Talk about inconsistancies!!!'

L..Lilith......young children.....
Is she thinking about the same demoness?  

[Henry Dorsett Case]

patch99329

' have a great book of Goddesses by Burleigh Muten (it's a juvenille book, but it's beautiful anyway...), and Lillith is listed as a goddess of wisdom, and protectress of newborn babies, fiercely independant and also associated with night winds. I knew that she was "demonized" by the church, etc. I just didn't realize how demonized till I got online and searched her out. Talk about inconsistancies!!!'

L..Lilith......young children.....
Is she thinking about the same demoness?

Yup. It's just romanticizing the bit about the amulet that is designed to protect children from Lilith into instead being a way to secure the protection of Lilith, most likely. It's kind of sad that people are willing to believe an at-least-twice-revised theological fiction rather than the actual theology of a religion. It's kind of like the whole Lucifer thing.  

[patch99329]

http://www.celticbuddhism.org/index.htm  

[Boadicia]

I don't even want to click that link. Just looking at it is enough to make my jaw hit the floor.  

[ShadowSharrow]

Quote:

The Dagda's Club
© 1989, 2001 c.e.
Words by Isaac Bonewits
music by Henry Work (1875) for “My Grandfather’s Clock”
Key of C

The Dagda's club is too large for much stealth,
So it drags all the time on the ground.
It's longer by half than the Good God Himself,
Sure it's like has never been found.
It amazed on the morn of the day that He was born,
And was always His treasure and pride.
The power / of / the Dagda's mighty club
Just cannot be denied!

'Cause it's huge and it's frightening,
Wham! Bam! Wham! Bam!
It's fast as the lightening --
Wham! Bam! Wham! Bam!
The power / of / the Dagda's mighty club
Just cannot be denied!

The Dagda's a God at the peak of His prime —
No bare cheeked lad is He!
With the strength and the wit to match any other God,
And the appetites of three!
He will eat up all your food, and He'll drink up all you've brewed,
And of maidenheads soon you'll have none.
They'll line up / at / the sight of His mighty club,
Sure it dazzles everyone!

'Cause it's huge...

Morrigan, Mighty Queen, Terror of all the Gods,
Is a dangerous female.
When She screams out Her lust, mortal men grab their cods,
And immortal ones turn pale!
But the Dagda has no fear, their relationship is clear,
He can turn Her roaring to a purr.
When She wants / Her / rough and tumble way,
He just stands right up to Her!

'Cause it's huge and it's frightening,
Wham! Bam! Wham! Bam!
It's fast as the lightening --
Wham! Bam! Thank you Ma'am!
The power / of / the Dagda's mighty club
Just cannot be denied!

eek xp rofl eek  

[patch99329]

I said:

'As I'm sure you are aware, wiccan covens should be able to trace their lineage back to gardner in some way or another.'

Ravan Grimassi replied:

'If you mean Gardnerian Wiccans, then yes, I am aware of that. If you mean Wiccans of all traditions/systems, then I must respectfully disagree.

While I know that some people believe that Gardner is the fount of all Wicca, others hold opposing views. Personally, I believe that Gardner and his tradition is but one of many "footprints on the sands of time" leading from ancient beliefs and practices. For me, Gardnerian Wicca is one offshoot in the evolution of the Craft. But I feel it relates to a single area of the world, and that there are other forms of Wicca in continental Europe that are not derived from Gerald Gardner.'

*cough* If a tradition evolved enitrely seperate to garnder's, the what the hel makes it wicca?