Welcome to Gaia! ::

Thanks for the support guys. It really meant a lot to me. Sometimes when I feel alone in the real world it seems wierd that I can find comfort and support in the virtual world. So, thanks again.

ASSISTANCE PLEASE...

Alright. Normally I'm very quiet about this, but maybe someone here can help.

I am a very creative person. Unfortunately, when I am unable to let out my creativity (through writing), something odd happens. Fantasy begins to blend with reality. I stopped my car at 4am on the way home from work one day because I saw a (seriously) solid 10 foot long cheetah walking across the road and didn't want to hit it. And this, this is only the tip of the iceberg.

-I have an insatiable urge to laugh when people cry. I hate it, but I can't help it. I have to leave the room. I'm not a mean person, though. I'm not happy they're crying.

-I can't stop my thoughts from taking me odd places. My dreams are strange, but feel so real to me. When I wake up, I'm confused, especially if the alarm clock wakes me.

-I have to write. A creative idea will not leave my head until I get it down. In fact, the longer I wait, the more prevalent the idea becomes, until it's all I can focus on.

-Really horrible things don't faze me in the least. I was in a car accident a few years ago. I watched a friend of mine die, and saw my boyfriend at the time's brain, literally. I have yet to have some sort of 'breakdown' from that day, and it was eight years ago. I talked about it without crying or being upset that night, and again at least once a day for a couple of weeks. (Insurance company, lawyers, family, etc.) The accident was horrible and bloody, and I walked away without a scratch. No survivors guilt, no worry, no fear.

-I prefer to stay in my own little world most of the time. I drift off and daydream anywhere. I'll be driving, get to my destination and not remember the drive there.

-Music affects me oddly. Some songs are just normal, me bopping along, singing. Others though, will bring an emotion, but so strong I don't know what to do. I've sobbed at a song that wasn't sad, but it made me cry. Happiness, fear, those are there too.

Wow. Well, that should keep you psych majors busy for a while. There's more, but it's not appropriate for this place. Please, let me know what you think.

I'm no psych major and I don't have much advice to give on this subject, but I just wanted to add in that some of the things listed are not too far out of the ordinary for me.

On more than one occasion, I have confused my dreams for reality. What was more embarrassing was when I would be talking to a friend or family member as if the dream events had actually happened, and they would tell me that it didn't and look at me like I was weird. My spouse occasionally does this too. Talking to each other about dreams seems to help us distinguish dream from reality, plus having someone there to remind you what has and has not happened without making you feel like a moron is reassuring.

Laughing while others are crying I have also -almost- done... I think I managed to restrain myself. I know I laughed when my sister had cancer... {though I credit this to not liking my sister sweatdrop }. I don't know if this is the case for you, but for me when I feel like laughing while someone is crying, it's because I don't feel that they are sincere. I have a certain level of empathy with most people, and often when someone is genuinely sad, I have a hard time keeping emotionally detached. However, when someone is crying and I do not feel that they are truly upset, I tend to want to laugh, or other times I will get angry at them because it seems like they are just doing it to gain sympathy from others. Case in point, I remember clenching my jaw when a girl in my high school poetry class broke out into tears upon sharing a poem she wrote about her shopping addiction stare

Horrible things not fazing you is something I can't completely relate to, but on a certain level I can... only for me it's the opposite. Really great things don't seem to faze me much. For example, the time leading up to my wedding, and even the wedding day itself.... I felt completely indifferent the entire time. I love my spouse very much and I felt as if I should be feeling something, but emotions didn't seem to be registering in my brain. About an hour before the ceremony I suddenly began to cry, but I didn't understand why because I wasn't feeling anything {my spouse later told me that they had cried around this same moment in time, though}... and during the ceremony people said I looked nervous, but I didn't feel nervous... I just felt like I was doing something completely ordinary like tying my shoes. It was as if outwardly I was feeling all the proper emotions, but inside I felt nothing.

I could go on and specify other things, but I feel I've babbled on too much as it is sweatdrop The point I was trying to make is that I don't particularly believe you need help for some of these issues as they do not seem to be things that are "wrong". If anything, you would just need to learn how to not let it affect your daily life. Of course, that's just my opinion.... I'm no professional so you probably shouldn't take what I say too seriously.

Hi, KittyRyu:

To sum it all up, I truly can't say whether whether you need help because I am not a psyche major. I can assure you that a lot of things you stated many people go through and may even feel. Using myself as an example, I have laughed at some messed up stuff that happened to others, though that's more so because I love dark humor. I am easily affected by music, daydream frequently throughout the day, and am constantly in my own world. I haven't been in a car accident that was half as bad as yours, but I doubt that there is something wrong with you if you didn't break down. It sound like you have really strong nerves, which can be helpful at times. It does not mean you undermine the severity of a situation.

As for the dreams, I have had a few experiences where I woke up from very realistic dreams (I have even experienced being choked in a dream before I woke up). It's rare for me to become disoriented from a dream, but it does happen to people. It may be useful to write down what took place in the dream. Keep a log, because you never know if the dream is actually trying to tell you something.

Lastly, I want to ask whether you are getting enough sleep that you are seeing ten-foot cheetahs crossing the road? Sometimes lack of sleep can do that. It could be drugs or some psychological problem that makes you see cheetahs, but I doubt either applies to you. I don't think you take drugs and I also experience some weird, unexplainable stuff that makes me doubt you have a psyche problem. If you haven't been getting much sleep, please do so. If it's not that, carry a notebook wherever you go and write whatever you need to write (also suggested if you have prevailing thoughts you want to get out of your head).

Sorry to be so chatty. sweatdrop

some people may find this ridiculous, but i have a job where very little is required of me. i have to file a couple things, maybe make a phone call, and i get paid well. i can have any day off that i want, but i really don't enjoy it. i feel bad that i'm getting paid for this. i'm at work now, and have nothing to do. i feel like i'm robbing my boss. should i tell her how guilty i feel?

No way! I'd love to have that job. I could get money from doing a little bit of work and use all that spare time for college or something else I'm studying.

If you really want to do more work, just ask your boss if there is anything else he or she needs.

I am SOOOO glad for the geezers on gaia i thank u so much for helping out other geezers when i have been to busy or i just cant think.
thank you all for helping heart i appreciate it thx.
i will give all my helpers and geezers that posted in here a great big hug thx

Rant Time:

I hate my situation so much. I'm stuck looking for a job (so far, nothing) so that I can move out, but rent is way too high for me to even consider my own apartment. Renting a room is more trouble than it's worth, so I do not want to do that. I am even doubting the possibilities that come with a college degree, especially since college is not the best thing for me. I'm to far into it to just up and quit, but it is taking forever and a day to finish. My end result is being stuck with a family that I cannot stand and wish will disappear in the near future (save my niece, who I do love).