Vena -- Open Redline/Critique Thread

[Vena]

sure, go for it! Just have a whole bg that goes to the edge of the canvas/paper.  

[Syrella]

http://syrellium.deviantart.com/art/Feet-1-146763139
http://syrellium.deviantart.com/art/Feet-2-146763353
http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee320/jibrienne/?action=view¤t=feetphoto.png {ref]

Hey again, I did two sketches so far... XD I'm not sure which one came out better (if either), but here we go. Will these be sufficient or should I draw something else?  

[Vena]

Yeah, those are looking good! Either of them would be great I think =)  

[Murkytea]

Hello! Sorry I haven't stopped by for a while! I hurt my shoulder a bit ago, so drawing has been a painful experience. I'm planing on seeing a doctor within the next week; I'll let you know what's going after that.  

[Vena]

Oh no! I wish you a speedy recovery =(  

[Syrella]

Feel better!! I hope you're able to draw again soon!  

[Murkytea]

Okay, so I haven't been able to see a doctor. Every time I go there is a three hour waiting line. I don't have that kind of time to waste.
Seems like it's gotten a bit better on it's own though, so drawing is not nearly as painful as when my shoulder started paining me. I should be back in the game soon!  

[Vena]

how are you guys doing? I haven't been around much because of schoolwork and etc, but still checking back every once in a while.  

[Syrella]

Hey Vena C: It's been busy here too, so don't worry. I am well. Hope you are too. :3

Good luck with all your classes and the like. <3  

[Vena]

Hey all,

I think I am going to change this thread up a bit to adapt with when I'm online and etc. I'm going to drop having mentees and just make it an open redline thread since its something I think I can give better feedback to. So if you have specific images you want feedback on I can either redline them or crit, or both smile  

[Yamiko]

Hello Vena!

I have some WIPs I'm working on which need some feedback.
WIP 1 takes priority because I've been owing this request to someone for a rather long time.
Here's some direct links to the WIPs

WIP 1
WIP 2

Thank you in advance. ;_;  

[Vena]

The first thing I noticed is that since he has his hand raise foreward (nice hand by the way! And you did a good job on the foreshortening) is that his upper torso is going to be twisting slightly, or if anything, he is at a 3/4 view. So his shoulder was appearing at a frontal view. You need some dimension on his shoulder to show it is going foreward with the forearm. His thumb could be slightly longer.

For his arm further back, it should taper (also because it is going back into perspective, so maybe a bit more dramatically depending on what effect you want).

His head is too small (gotta fit those brains in somewhere) a good way to indicate head size is if you draw the face first - the eyes are in the midline of the head. Trust me - it feels weird at first, feeling like drawing the head too big - but the eyes are in the middle of the head.

Even though his legs are ending offscreen, sometimes its better to sketch where they would go then crop it after. Right now his legs appear to be one constant size when they should taper (even with baggy pants there will be a slight taper) into the knee. He is also standing a bit wide legged for a strong stance.

I hope that isn't too nitpicky, its looking good already! Good luck and hope this helps.  

[Vena]

I redlined the perspective of his legs here according to how I think it would go with his torso - though this is really something of personal taste, it depends how dramatic you want that look in perspective. if you are having trouble figuring out the perspective it can help to draw a box around it and footprints for where you want the stance, then draw the head and hips and piece it together.

his right arm could be raised a bit - to give it more of a reflective look of the other arm. Both hands could be more of a profile (where the fingers will look a bit higher up) his fingers would point more towards the hood when gesturing to take it off.  

[Yamiko]

Thanks for the feedback! It's not nitpicky at all and it's been very helpful! :3

I forgot that the eyes are positioned midline of the head for some reason. Thanks for reminding me. I'm really afraid of tapering his arm at the moment. I'll work on that next.

So far I fixed his head and his legs and in the process, the drawing got more complex.

lol. I am so not used to drawing piles of beat up people.
It's hard to draw them so they don't take more attention than the main person of focus.
Now I feel obligated to draw some sort of fitting background. OTL It's good practice though.

I just gotta figure out how to make the composition fitting with the background.

WIP 1 rework as of 4/29

I gotta work on WIP 2 once I'm just about done with WIP 1, thanks for the tips!  

[Anadalya]

Um, hi! I'm new to guilds and such so please bear with my awkwardness!! biggrin I don't think I should be a mentee because I don't have much time to dedicate myself to it. But I would like some critique on some of my drawings, if you don't mind! sweatdrop This is Headstone from one of my books, a drawing I did for a contest. He was a bit rushed, so was not as good as I had imagined... Can you help me see what went wrong?