Rape/sexual assult....your opinion

[mechanical kitsy]

bloodyandrea

it is horrible being a kid because its taking away your innocence

yea i know i lost mine when i was 12 (involuntarily)  

[megalomaniac-freak]

I have a notice to any and all guys reading this:

If you find a girl, whether friend or significant other has been raped, do not, ever say to her, or ask her "its been *enter amount of time* its in the past, why don't you just forget it?" or however you would phrase it.

Yes, it seems logical, the threat of over, the guy is out of her life and never to be seen again, that's it, over and gone.

...its not a good thing to say to a rape victim. They know the guy isn't here anymore, they know that they're safe from him, they know they should get over it. But that doesn't mean that they can.

Remember: the majority of rapists know their victims. So that means that the rapist was trusted. That trust was then ripped away from them in a violent, horrific way. Their bodies were invaded, and desecrated. Its not something that you can just get over in a one shot "oh, the guys gone now, oh I'm fine" it take a lot longer to make peace with what happened, and more importantly, to be able to trust people, anyone, again. They know in their minds that it is stupid and illogical, they know you are more trustable, but it still lingers in their minds "I trusted him as well though."

You may feel offended that they could possibly entertain the idea that you could or would try that, you may feel hurt. But that feeling is nothing compared to what they had to go through, and still have to go through each and everyday of their lives. Put yourself in their shoes and think if you could possibly trust anyone, with your safety, with your body, again. But keep in mind, they have built up the courage to tell you what happened to them, they are trusting you with the knowlege of what can and will hurt them again. Being raped once is bad, being raped a second time by a different person, when they know what happened, when they as well were trusted, can be far more damaging. *I exclude multiple rapes from this, as I have no experience of meeting anyone with that in their past*. They don't mean any offence to you, its something that cannot be helped, under any circumstances. Don't let your ego or pride be hurt by the fears of someone that has lived through an extremely traumatising experience.

By saying that its in the past you are throwing in their face everything they 'know' they should think. Well, I'll tell you one thing, they shouldn't "'know' what to think". What they "'know' they should think" is wrong. Its what society tells them to think, and society hasn't been raped. Hasn't had its body violated. You, if you are a lucky person, also won't know what it is like, but that also means that won't know what you are left with, and the thoughts and feelings you are left with. Face it, and don't let your pride stand in the way: you don't know what it is like. She knows what it is like. See it there in black and white and face up to it, she's had to face up to a hell of a lot more than you, its the least you can do for her.

Now that that's out of the way, the better way that you can react: be there for her. Hold her. Tell her that its alright and that you don't mind, she is valued, she is cared for, she is loved. You understand that she can't just 'get over it' and that she can take as long as it takes to recover and you will always be there for her. It means nothing to you, as a man, that she's been raped, she's not devalued, she's still a beautiful, precious human being that deserves love. There are reasons for all of this, use your brain to see why.
Tell her she is valued because if the person that raped her (especially if her was known) wouldn't have raped her is he'd valued her, "obviously".
Tell her she is not devalued by rape because it is easy to think that no man will want to touch you again if you've been 'violated' by another (eg spoiled goods syndrome)
tell her she can take as long as is needed so that she doesn't feel 'pressured' to be 'right' again, this will put her far more at ease, and make her feel far more loved, valued and cared for.

Sorry, I put this mini-essay of a rant in because I've just gotten a longer rant from a friend, and thought many good points were made  

[dante_reincarnation15]

depends on the harm on the victim  

[necromancy14]

Personally I think rapers should get the toughest treatment possible. I personally know one friend who has been raped and when she talked to me she explained how traumatizing it had been. I agree that some people do overreact, but generally I have no sympathy for any person convicted of rape and/or sexual assault.  

[kat-fks]

well reading all this, it brought my own memories. its been 13 almost 14 years now. my mother cheated on my father and then he molested me from 7 to 9. yes its horrible i never told anyone till my mother found a book that i wrote. when i was 13 my boyfriend at the time raped me twice then his brother did once. no matter how long its bee, or how much you wish to forget it, you never really do. there maybe days where your fine, there are trigger that st it off. people who have never been there will never really understand. just something simple a hand placed in the wrong area at the wrong time, i just go stiff. then everyone around wonder whats my damn problem. so i've keep it all to myself. it hard to explain, its just a pain to live with, the nightmares, flashbacks, the fear of where there at now.  

[Divinity Rage]

I hold life sacred, so the ending of life without reason (i.e. self-defense or combat) is always one of the highest crimes, in my opinion.

What I wish we had was a way to force the offender to live the fear and shame of the victim, to lock them in it until they repents of their deed.

Now my question is, do you think a female can rape a male?  

[Isobel Bellamy]

Jadyn_Fortysix

I hold life sacred, so the ending of life without reason (i.e. self-defense or combat) is always one of the highest crimes, in my opinion.

What I wish we had was a way to force the offender to live the fear and shame of the victim, to lock them in it until they repents of their deed.

Now my question is, do you think a female can rape a male?

Yeah, that's perfectly possible, you don't need a p***s to rape. Anything from involuntary masturbation to using aids (not HIV type) is rape or a form of rape, all it takes is for (more severe) forced sexual contact, not just sex, in my opinion to count as rape.

And yes, men have been raped by women in the past, there's even been a conviction for the rape of a boy (well, teenager) from a gang of girls in recent months in the UK, but its unclear how severe the attack was.  

[Ether-Eating Eskimo]

lurichan

Rape is something that happens all too often to people. I say people and not just girls because it can and does happen to men as well, but with the way our society is structed few will ever come forward and tell their stories....

I have been fortunate enough to have never had first hand experiences with rape, though I have known people who have had close brushes. It's a scary thought thinking that someone who you went to school with could potentially be a rapist, and what is worse is the thought of how far will they go if someone can "get away with" doing that to another human being? I spend a lot of time watching forensic shows, and it's horrifying just what some of these men do to their victems, the fear and pain they put them through, and the complete disregard they have for others.

It makes me very glad that my mom let me take martial arts classes when I was younger because I felt empowered enough to protect myself against something horrible happening to me. I know how to get away, or how to fight back if the need should ever arise, but I always hope that i shall never be in that type of situation.

I feel a deep sorrow and pain for those who have been touched by the pain and misery of rape. I don't know if I can ever find the words to really express how much I loath and detest people who would force themselves upon another for self gratification and feelings of power and domination. It sickens me. It really does, to think that people like that exist in our world. I do wish there were stiffer penalties for these individuals, because they deserve absolutly no mercy, and no lenancy because that is exactly what they gave to their victems.

Thank you! For some reason, people seem to believe that all rapists are men, and that it's impossible for a woman to overpower a man.

There have been cases, and disregarding them due to the victim's sex is blatant sexism, and shouldn't be tolerated.  

[Fallentowards]

_PsychoPathic-Tend3ncies_

lurichan

Rape is something that happens all too often to people. I say people and not just girls because it can and does happen to men as well, but with the way our society is structed few will ever come forward and tell their stories....

I have been fortunate enough to have never had first hand experiences with rape, though I have known people who have had close brushes. It's a scary thought thinking that someone who you went to school with could potentially be a rapist, and what is worse is the thought of how far will they go if someone can "get away with" doing that to another human being? I spend a lot of time watching forensic shows, and it's horrifying just what some of these men do to their victems, the fear and pain they put them through, and the complete disregard they have for others.

It makes me very glad that my mom let me take martial arts classes when I was younger because I felt empowered enough to protect myself against something horrible happening to me. I know how to get away, or how to fight back if the need should ever arise, but I always hope that i shall never be in that type of situation.

I feel a deep sorrow and pain for those who have been touched by the pain and misery of rape. I don't know if I can ever find the words to really express how much I loath and detest people who would force themselves upon another for self gratification and feelings of power and domination. It sickens me. It really does, to think that people like that exist in our world. I do wish there were stiffer penalties for these individuals, because they deserve absolutly no mercy, and no lenancy because that is exactly what they gave to their victems.

Thank you! For some reason, people seem to believe that all rapists are men, and that it's impossible for a woman to overpower a man.

There have been cases, and disregarding them due to the victim's sex is blatant sexism, and shouldn't be tolerated.

A lot of those types of cases are lost (when a women is being charged for rape) because people argue the point that women can technically rape because they can't penatrait a man without the aid of a foreign object and i think that's bullshit. Rape is rape; being forced into sexual activity against ones will. If a woman forces a man to have sex with her that's rape...so i completely agree with the double standard it is bullshit. Yes men are more likely to rape then women but still no need for the double standard they should be tried the same.  

[dark_LordBeld]

Fallentowards

...women can technically rape because they can't penetrate a man without the aid of a foreign object and i think that's bullshit. Rape is rape; being forced into sexual activity against ones will. If a woman forces a man to have sex with her that's rape...

true-true, but if its some (even moderately attractive) hot chick and the guy presses charges...

the girl may no doubt say it was consentual, and c'mon-who's gonna believe that a guy didnt wanna have sex with an attractive young woman?

...unless the guy is gay, of course  

[Ether-Eating Eskimo]

EmperorBeld

Fallentowards

...women can technically rape because they can't penetrate a man without the aid of a foreign object and i think that's bullshit. Rape is rape; being forced into sexual activity against ones will. If a woman forces a man to have sex with her that's rape...

true-true, but if its some (even moderately attractive) hot chick and the guy presses charges...

the girl may no doubt say it was consentual, and c'mon-who's gonna believe that a guy didnt wanna have sex with an attractive young woman?

...unless the guy is gay, of course

Whether or not he wanted to have sex with her doesn't matter. Whether or not he gave her permission before she forced him to have sex with her does. :F

Obviously, most guys are stronger, and a girl would have a hard time raping her (aside from drugging him or something). But if she does, she should still be tried the same.  

[-Resurrected Writer-]

EmperorBeld

Fallentowards

...women can technically rape because they can't penetrate a man without the aid of a foreign object and i think that's bullshit. Rape is rape; being forced into sexual activity against ones will. If a woman forces a man to have sex with her that's rape...

true-true, but if its some (even moderately attractive) hot chick and the guy presses charges...

the girl may no doubt say it was consentual, and c'mon-who's gonna believe that a guy didnt wanna have sex with an attractive young woman?

...unless the guy is gay, of course

If a woman can be raped by an attractive man, then obviously a man can be raped by an attractive woman.
Also, consider that the man may have had personal beliefs which strongly opposed the notion, or if he was fearful of STDs; perhaps even of being deadlocked by this woman into financial leeching by pregnancy (both of which, contraception does not always prevent. Besides, in the case of rape, contraception is rarely-to-never considered by the rapist).  

[Isobel Bellamy]

-Resurrected Writer-

[If a woman can be raped by an attractive man...

The legal system usually usues a man's beauty to say he didn't rape a woman, using the "he's twice as attractive as her, she wouldn't possibly say no" notion (apparently, ugly girls sould feel lucky to get any attention at all, and are rampantly attracted to men more attractive then them and won't be able to control themselves around them, same with larger women with slender men.)

And yes, condescending, sexist ideas do get men off the hook in rape cases. (3% conviction rate of reported cases, depresing huh?).

I have an axe to grind btw, I'm also a campaigner for better treatment of rape victims in court, please help me by being terribly annoying to everyone around you about how women get treated like s**t when they've had what will probably one of the worst experineces of their life.

Izzie: cantankerous yet damn hard to argue with 3nodding