Vena -- Open Redline/Critique Thread

[Murkytea]

I would love an in depth crit! If you have the time of course!  

[Syrella]

Same goes for me too. smile While I wouldn't mind an in-depth critique, if you don't have time, then no worries. I know the drawing isn't perfect, and I think I already see areas to improve, too. just, it is nice to get feedback because sometimes my own eyes deceive me.  

[Vena]

K, Tiger of snow -

Compositionally, I think it looks great. I like the darker colors surrounding the lighter face and putting the focus there immediately. The hair is nice there too, it leads back into the face. You could stand to have just a tiny bit more space between the top of the head and the top border, just to buffer it a bit. I like the element of the two solid colors on the top and bottom, for the bottom with the shirt though, on the left side, you could add some slight detail just to show the shape of the body. The right side is good but the left side just extends a little bit too much, so you get the idea of the head possibly just being a floater in space, so a little rounding the shape of the arm or chest could help it a little bit.

I think color wise you could push the shading on the face abit more, have a darker color on the neck to push the head from it a bit more, and you could have a larger variation on your color shades for the skin to really push out the shape of the face. One thing that could help beforehand is making a color pallette beforehand, and trying to make at least 8 swatches of color that will be used just on the skin, the darkest reserved for the tiniest, darkest area, and the lightest reserved for the tiniest and brightest highlight. (some people say six swatches for the skin, though you could push it infinitely). I like the texture you have created for the hair, the yellow highlights extend back a bit far, which contradict the shape of the head a bit. Try to keep your brightest highlights together to indicate where the light is hitting (and where it isn't hitting).

Anatomy wise, it looks really good, nitpicking, the left eye appears a bit small and you could push detail on the right ear. (from my view).

Hope that isn't super brutal =P I think as a whole, your piece succeeds, and I think your portraiture is very strong.  

[Vena]

Alright Syrella, ready? wink

Just really quick for anatomy. I think the mouth extends a bit too far to the left, it should follow the contour of the face and the position it is in right now makes the face look slightly flat. It is in good proportion, it could use more of a darker indication to show the crease in the mouth, and darker shading on the top of the mouth just to show a difference in the planes of the lips.

Composition wise, it looks a bit like a closeup of a larger image, if you want to stick that close to the face I would suggest not keeping the face right in the center of the image, but to shift it a bit to the left or the right a bit just to make it bit more 'dramatic'. Do you know the rule of thirds for photography/composition? It's basically the points where people naturally place their eyes/drift their eyes to in an image, and it is a great help in figuring out how to compose shapes and elements in an image.

I like the combination of colors you used to create the lines and shading, I think you could do more shading detail around the face like you have done around the nose and eyes, especially on the side of the face and above the eye/under the eyebrow to really hash out the shapes of the face. I really like that area around the nose, it really gives it a great dimension.

I think the hair could have used a bit more shaping to show the groups of strands, it helps to draw out the shape of the hair and the way it is twisting and falling before drawing in the strands. in the little space between the hair and the face, you could shade it differently just to pop the face forward a bit.

I really like the way you have used the colors to create the lineart and shading, I think you could really push it a bit further and get your face to really just pop off the page =)  

[Murkytea]

@Vena: Thanks for the crit, it was not brutal at all, and was in fact quite helpful! I will try your colour palette suggestion in the next piece I do.  

[Vena]

awesome =)

Also, just want to say if either of you want to crit each other in this thread you should feel free to. I don't want to crit and suggest like I am an authority, but as a peer, so feel free to contribute.  

[Syrella]

Indeed, thanks for the critique! It was very informative. smile You were right about the image being "cut off"... the top half of it looked very crappy so I though I'd just crop it a little. In the process, the composition died a bit though. I'll keep that in mind for next time, particularly when eliminating parts I don't want. Hehe.

Also, thanks for letting me know about the shading and the color. I'm glad you like it, but actually, I feel like I was really lazy about it. I could've done a lot more with the piece, but I didn't. So I'm going to keep working on it. In particular, I will look into how I can color things once and for all. The world does not exist in black and white and I can't stick with graphite alllll the time. At least not if I expect a finished looking image.

Do you have any suggestions to practice color? I use a mouse on the computer (no tablet), but I can do vectors, at least! And I have colored pencils. They are the extra cheap variety, though, and don't really show up so well when photographed. I guess computer coloring is my option.

Oh, almost forgot... I'd be happy to critique the other works too. :3 I'm no expert, but I will see if I can offer some insights as well.  

[Murkytea]

I'm not sure I would be comfortable critiquing others. I don't mind if others want to critique my work though.  

[Syrella]

Hey,

Though I don't think it'll be too big of a deal, I'm headed home for a few days. smile Leaving tomorrow around 8 AM and I'll get back Monday. I'm not sure what internet'll be like along the way, so I may or may not be on. We'll see.

Just wanted to give a head's up so ya'll don't think I just disappeared. <3 Have a great Thanksgiving!!!  

[Murkytea]

Good luck with the family, and remember to have fun! X3  

[Vena]

Hope you all had a good thanksgiving!

New challenge:


Warm vs Cool Color

This is a two part assignment.

PART 1

Sketch a landscape, scene , or figure from observation. Do not worry about detail of the objects/scene. Make sure you have a strong lightsource and cast shadows. On your image, make note/sketch where the shadows are. Take a picture of your scene if you are afraid you will forget it! Post your sketch here for a crit.

PART 2

>> will be revealed when part one is completed  

[Syrella]

Hope everyone had a good holiday! Eat lots of turkey and such?

I'm still gone for the weekend, but I will be back sometime tomorrow (probably with jet lag... T.T). I'll see if I can't start working on the challenge assignment soon hopefully! It sounds fun!  

[Vena]

I had my turkey time back in October u.u Canadia thanksgiving =P But more turkey for Christmas! If you couldn't tell, I looooove me some turkey.

I hope I can get in and do this assignment along with you guys, I have my finals week next week then just finishing up projects the week after. Christmas break is going to be well received.  

[Syrella]

Well, I hope you end up having time smile

I'm still trying to figure out a good scene to do. ^^; I was planning on doing the kitchen but the only time it's got good shadows is at nighttime. And when I was sketching it, one of my room mates randomly turned the light on. razz Thus, my light source was interrupted.

...grumble...

I wish I had a desk lamp or something. I could set up a stll life or something. :/ Oh well. I'll think of something.

BTW, we had our first snow of the year! Hurray! I'm a Californian in NY so it's a huge difference. XD And yes, turkey is amazing. I think it's probably one of my favorites too. :3 I look forward to the holiday season because of it!  

[Syrella]

Hey, um... would drawing my feet with a nice background count as a scene? I've been wanting "foot" practice for a bit now and I think it'd make an amusing picture. XD I'll make sure to find a fun light source...?