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Naoko expected to be yelled at.
He expected tears of anger and frustration... expected rage... hell, he even expected to be hit once or twice out of sheer unbridled emotions of betrayal...
After all, it wouldn't have been the first time he's sported bruises from a lover...

But this?

Ryuu was literally jumping all over himself in some crazy attempt to explain how good a person Naoko was...
And the blond really didn't understand how him sitting beside his comatose lover, while his perfectly (at least far more perfectly than Hayato) fine new lover was needing him as well.

And as Naoko stood there in absolute stunned silence...
The pianist found that he just couldn't find any words to express his own confusion.

Minutes passed as amber eyes just stared into Ryu's red gaze, completely blown away by the violinist's strange reaction.
Well... at least until his akuma began coughing.

There was an almost automatic response from Naoko as the pianist put a hand on Ryuu's back and rubbed gently, trying to still the coughing spasm.
Somehow, that motion, and the close contact with Ryuukaze, seemed to break NAKO out of his stupor.

"Of course I thought you'd be angry..." the blond replied with an exhasperated sigh. "I mean, who wouldn't be? You're hurt and my brother just decided to up and lock me in his room... which eventually lead to a huge fight between the two of us and his telling me about... well..." his amber gaze focused on the comatose man in bed. "I've been looking for this man for two years, Ryuu... Gomen nasai... I should have told you, but... I just... I didn't think I'd ever find him again. Now I have and... well... I'm at a loss as to what to do."
By now, Naoko was kneeling beside the chair which Ryuukaze occupied, one hand still on the violinist's back.
"It's not that I didn't have use for you at all... things just... happened..." he sighed again, closing his eyes for a moment. "It's been a stressful last two days..."

That, was an understatement.

"Look... you should be resting, not running around Tokyo looking for me. You should have called me, baka... I'd have answered in a heartbeat." Naoko replied with a slightly teasing smile.

The blond was exhausted, physically and mentally. Seeing Ryuu again made things a bit better.
First he had finally made up with Sai, at least as far as a normal brotherly relationship went, and now he knew that Ryuu wasn't sitting in his apartment, plotting the perfect revenge against the blond for this entire fiasco.
For once... things seemed a little brighter to NAKO.

'I thought you were either gonna just cheat on me or dump me without telling me.'

That was really the line which stuck out at Naoko because, in all honesty... he HAD cheated on Ryuu.
Of course he had told the violinist about his alleyway affair with Nakai... but he hadn't exactly explained a near miss with Sai.
Nor the fact that if Hayato ever woke up...

But before he could even begin to feel guilty about that... Ryuukaze boldly declared his love of the pianist.
True, heartfelt, deep down love.
Not infatuation... not a one-time stand... not a simple base desire.
No...
This was undying love...
And as Naoko knelt there and listened, as Ryuukaze took the pianist's hand... the blond realized that no matter what he did...
In a few moments, he was going to make Ryuu cry.

With his other hand, Naoko took off his glasses and just knelt there for a moment.
Eventually he stood, pulling his hand from the violinist's tender grasp, and walked over to the hospital room window.
"If my brother were here right now, Ryuu-kun... he would push me into your arms then wheel us both right out the door. But... it's not that simple."
Sighing, Naoko folded his arms over his chest, an almost hugging motion, as he gazed out at the grey cloudy skies.
"I care for you... a lot, Ryuu-kun... I really do but I... I can't just..." amber eyes closed, and it was taking all of the pianist's willpower to keep tears from spilling down his cheeks. "You make me feel safe... I don't have to be afraid when you're there and I really do like that. You love me. I'm not some... some THING for you to play with when bored..."

Turning back to the man, Naoko smiled softly, his amber eyes full of unshed tears.
"Because of that, Ryuu-kun... you reminded me of my brother. You and Sai... you're the only ones who ever treated me like a human being. Now I've lost that sort of love from Sai... all because I couldn't let go of..." as his voice trailed off, Naoko's amber eyes strayed to the unconscious man in the hospital bed. "I'm afraid to let go, Ryuu-kun..." his hands clenched the material of his sleeves as he hugged himself just a bit tighter. "I don't remember how to really love someone... How to make them the single most important person to you. I've been jumping from guy to guy so long that, to be honest... I figured everyone I was with would be a one-night stand from now on."
Naoko sighed again, somewhat laughing at his own insecurity, before setting his glasses down on the windowsill and running lithe fingers through his blond hair.

"If Hayato ever woke up, Ryuu-kun... I... I don't know what I'd do. I spent two years looking for him and I've finally found him but... the doctors said his chances of waking up were less than five percent... A part of me wouldn't mind this... if he never did wake up again, I mean... But..."
Swallowing hard, Naoko's gaze focused on Ryuu again. "But if he ever did wake up... I don't think I have the self control to stay away from him..."

There it was, plain and simple.
While Naoko was afraid of Hayato being conscious again... he also knew deep down that there was no way he could resist the man.
If Hayato ever woke up... Naoko would leave Ryuu.
Not only because of Naoko's own fear of what the unconscious man might do... but because he didn't want to see Ryuu pulled into the same world he had lived in for months.

The only thing Naoko could even begin to do was catch the suddenly half falling Ryu.
But the embrace...
NAKO froze, unable to really move as the violinist's arms encircled him.
"R... Ryuu..." the blond whispered, unable to hold back his tears anymore.
He knew the other man was pissed, knew Ryuu had a right to be pissed... but that didn't stop NAKO's realization that his akuma was serious.

"Ryuu... I... I can't..." Naoko whispered, tears falling from amber eyes as he wrapped his arms around the still-injured man. "You don't understand... if Hayato wakes up... please, Ryuu-kun... I can't do this... please..."

Ryuukaze was really the only thing keeping Naoko from crashing to the floor now.
His body was shivering with the sobs that had suddenly come, unbidden. Naoko wanted Hayato so badly... but he was so frightened of the man that he was torn.
Then there was Ryuu... who would literally do anything for him.
Just like Sai...

"You don't know him, Ryuu-kun." the pianist eventually spoke, his voice soft but determined. "You can't begin to understand! You're just like Sai... you both think it's so ******** easy!!!"
Naoko's own rage exploded, his amber gaze focusing angrily on Ryuu as he broke that tight embrace and stepped backward until his back hit the windowsill.
"I found him again, damnit! I don't care if he's never going to recover... but I won't leave him alone!!"

Naoko bit his lip, watching as Ryu seemed to seriously be in pain.
He was angry yes but... but...
Kneeling down beside the violinist, the blond carefully rubbed his back against until the coughing stopped. Amber eyes saw the blood... and for a split second, his mind was at war with his heart.

"Neither of you understand what... what I..." he shook his head, unable to continue that sentence. "You and Sai may need me... but I AM Hayato's, don't you get it?!"
Sighing, Naoko grabbed a clean washcloth from a drawer nearby and started to rub the blood from Ryuukaze's hands.
"If he doesn't wake up, I can move on. I can let go. I... I don't need to stand here. But... but I don't KNOW, Ryu-kun... He could wake up tomorrow or twenty years from now. I just don't know!"

Unable to stop himself, Naoko's tears fell in torrents again. "I... I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being, damn it! Don't you get it?! I screw other guys because I'm trying to find what I'm missing! I'm trying to make up for what I lost when Hayato disappeared! I LOVE him, Ryu.... why can't you or Sai understand that?" without realizing it, the bloodied cloth had now stained NAKO's own lithe fingers in the sanguine liquid. "What I did with you... god, it was the first time in two years that I'd been with someone who actually gave a s**t! Someone who I didn't just happen to pick up at a bar when I was half-drunk! I... I CAN'T love you, Ryu! I just... I... I can't..." the blond's voice trailed off, and he couldn't even bring himself to look at the other man.
Instead, the pianist curled over, tears falling to the linolium hospital flooring. It was impossible for him to express it...
Impossible...

How could Naoko tell Ryu that he DID love him. That he had feelings for him. But that, it would also be a lie to tell Ryu that he loved him... because he loved Hayato so much more?

"What am I doing?..." Naoko whispered softly. "I've driven Sai away... now you... why can't he just ******** wake up?! Why can't I finally have what I want for a change?! I don't care if everyone thinks it's wrong! I don't care if I seem like a spoiled brat! I've worked so hard for this moment... so hard and... and it hurts so much..."

Smiling softly, Akihiko moved to where he was no longer straddling Izzy Lucky's back. Instead, he was kneeling just to the left of the man. One hand continued that spine rub.
But the other...
Narcissus just couldn't help himself. He was a natural tease... and the pleasurable world came simply to him like second nature.
"I haven't even begun to pamper you, Ruki-san..." the musical prodigy whispered, even as he struck.


~ ~ ~

ONE CRAZY HOUR LATER...

~ ~ ~


In reality, the musician was experiencing some rather intense pain that had suddenly broken through the fog of aftermath.
"s**t..." Akihiko couldn't help but whisper, expression buried in a flurry of his own long dark hair and his manager's chest. "That ******** hurts..."
It was taking everything that the musician had to not start crying. Instead, he pushed himself up and staggered to his feet. Narcissus held one hand to his side, the other to his lower back as he carefully walked to the bathroom.
After all, Izzy would probably still be in the fog of love... he wouldn't notice...
About five minutes later, after carefully showering, Akihiko walked back into the bedroom and collapsed in a half-sitting, half-laying position on his back in the bed.
Thank god for pillows to prop behind him, because his injuries were screaming obscenities at him that would've made a sailor blush.
"Gomen..." the musician spoke up, blue gaze focusing on Izzy. "That... wasn't really... what I had in mind." Akihiko apologized, knowing that Izzy was about to feel insanely guilty.
But, perhaps worse than any sense of guilt... to Narcissus, was that he still wanted the chance to get have a little 'fun'.
And now, he couldn't.
Or could he?


~ ~ ~

Ruki was lost in that fog and the sudden collapse of Akihiko against his body. His fingers ran back through Akihiko's hair stroking lightly. The words didn't register until after Akihiko had come out of the bathroom...
He rolled over and sat up as soon as Akihiko returned, "I'm so sorry. I didn't even think. I feel utterly terrible for not thinking about you're injuries!" He could have slapped himself for that one. What kind of manager was he? Yes, the guilt rippled through him as much as it would most normal people.
"Iie...iie...I should never have let you do that! You're hurt. Gomenasai. Let me go clean up. I'll be right back...and I will bring a couple pain killers." He scooted to the bathroom not even having time to become embarrassed. Although, after what they just experienced maybe he shouldn't think so much on it...however, He was his Manager! Oh good grief...did he just make the biggest mistake of his career?
So he washed up quickly and threw on the robe close by then looked under the sink to see what pain killers lurked in his cabinet. He grabbed the Aleve and returned to the room with a glass of water. "Here..." he said as he placed a couple pills and the water in the man's hands. His bottom lip tucked under his teeth for a second as he looked him over. "Is there anything I can do? I know that I need to call the physical therapist. But maybe I should try to get you some stronger pain killers? I'm so... sorry."

~ ~ ~


At first, Narcissus wanted to just tell izzy to shut up and stop apologizing.
After all, he had tricked the man into it first.
But then...
Of course the musician took the pills and the water, setting the glass on the bedside table... but then he grasped Izzy's wrist and pulled the man down onto the bed, claiming the other man's lips with his own. He forced his tongue deep inside, wrestling his manager's tongue into his own mouth and sucking on it expertly.
When Akihiko released Izzy, the musician was smirking. "If you want to make it up to me, Ruki..." he whispered. "You won't leave me without... my own 'fun'... Come on, Ruki... don't make me grab your manga and finish the job..." Akihiko spoke softly, his blue gaze tender and sincere.
Intense pain, of course, was a valid excuse for being unable to, well, you know...
He arched one teasing eyebrow, "Remember when I said I could teach you such wonderful things to do with your tongue?" Narcissus asked softly, reaching one hand out to gently cup Izzy Luck'y chin and draw him close for another kiss.


~ ~ ~

Izzy wobbled off balance at the sudden grab, his mouth being claimed and the sensation of that tongue in his mouth again with such a passionate kiss was frustrating to say the least. Especially, when Ruki wanted to help the man heal. However, he couldn't say he didn't want that sort of rough kiss....Which made it much more difficult to respond when he was finally released.
And Ruki did glance down when Akihiko reminded him of the 'fun' portion of the equation. Now Ruki understood....oops. What could he do about....THAT!? "Oh...my...what ...oh...that. No...ah.. you don't need to use a manga..." Of course, what was the other option?
"You didn't let me down..." he answered then nodded with the reminder. "Yes..I remember." He relished the hand touching him again...that kiss welcome and wanted. He wanted that tongue roaming against his own but still, "Mm....Gomen...What should I do?"

~ ~ ~


Akihiko smiled softly, before laughing. The sound was genuinely amused, nothing malicious about it at all.
"You have so many yaoi manga and you don't know what to do? I can always direct you if you don't know what to do." Narcissus spoke with that same smile.
His dark hair fell over his shoulders, the ends curling around his lower chest and upper abdomen. In fact, in the young Koyasu's mind, he suddenly resembled that Feilong figure from one of Izzy's manga.
Only, he wasn't half clothed.
And he wasn't smoking...
Smoking...
'God, I could go for a cigarette right now...' the musician thought sadly, realizing he hadn't had a cigarette since yesterday morning.
His blue gaze focused kindly on Izzy, "Give it a try, Ruki... I'll let you know if you stray from the target."


~ ~ ~

Ruki blinked for a moment when Akihiko responded to his question. THAT....was the answer. But, he was definitely not Vlad or Takaba...who had a bit more experience in that area. However, his yaoi reading was quite extensive and maybe...he could pull from that if what they wrote was actually to be believed. He licked his lips a little timid over the idea but looking back up at Akihiko, who was already in alot of pain.... something had to give. Ruki didn't think he could leave his Star...his..lover? in such a state.
"I'll try...but...mm...I can't promise how good it will be..." This wasn't easy for the manager part of him. Not after the other injuries.

~ ~ ~



~ ~ ~

"You can thank my manga for that." Izzy smiled and kissed Akihiko on the lips. He really liked it when his stars felt good....and this in an odd way had done just that. He never thought about it like that before but well he never expected Narcissus to ever want him. This had been... rather... enlightening to say the least. "You know after I get up, it will be back to work for me. And... I'll have to put my... Mmm... Manager hat back on. You won't be able to call me Ruki when we're working.
I don't want to hinder your future...." His smiled as he lay beside Akihiko, his fingers slid over the man's chest as he just wondered what it would be like to have someone like this at his side more often.

~ ~ ~


Content, Narcissus let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes again. "I'm impressed, Ruki..."
Feeling the other man's nails on his skin got Akihiko's attention, and he couldn't help but focus exhausted blue eyes on his manager. "After you get back into work... I'll make sure you're Ruki-san again... or maybe Ishi-san..." the musician replied with a smile. "I'm not an unrealistic idiot, Ruki. I can keep from mixing work and pleasure. Though..." he laughed softly, tousling the other man's hair playfully, "That won't keep me from teasing you."
Izzy was oh-so convenient.
After all, no one else that Akihiko knew would even speak with him, let alone hang out for some after-hours fun.
And now that his manager had been given just a taste of what could be his every day...
Well...
Narcissus was confident enough in his skills to realize that he was going to be one damned big temptation to the uke.
"Hindering my future, is the very least you need to worry about." Narcissus replied as he claimed the megane-clad man's lips with his own.


~ ~ ~

Ruki smiled just a hair with the comment. "I'm glad because I want to make sure you're a success, Akihiko. But...No teasing in front of the masses!" His cheeks blushed just a bit, "You really are trouble. Even injured."
It was really rather strange talking to Akihiko like this but...well...it didn't seem right to get all stiff manager like right away after sharing such an intimate moment. Even though he didn't think this would happen too often, a part of him wanted it again... and that was enough to make him bite his lip at the possibility.
But finally the kiss that took his lips again, gave him another taste of that affectionate desire that swayed his thoughts, "Mm... I should enjoy this while it lasts." His fingers caressed Akihiko's cheek and wove back through his hair. "Such a gentle face when you're like this..." he sighed and kissed the man again, "In this moment, I am truly lucky." He rested his head against Akihiko's shoulder and seemed perfectly content to take the moment as it was.

~ ~ ~


"Not me." Akihiko replied, putting his right arm behind his head, his left wrapping gently around Izzy's shoulders. "No guarantee on the teasing. Of course our bedroom exploits won't go on record, at all." he was rather adamant about that. "But... I'm still going to tease you. After all..." turning slightly, he removed his arm from behind his head and turned just slightly.
Narcissus saw that biting of the lip... and knew exactly what he was thinking.
"I wouldn't be me... if I wasn't a tease now, would I?" Akihiko asked with a soft laugh.
For a moment, the musical prodigy appeared like Izzy's comment regarding his countenance MIGHT anger him, then he smirked. "So, I'm only gentle when I'm in bed?" he asked with one raised eyebrow. "Do you honestly want me to act on that statement, Ruki?"


~ ~ ~

"Good because I can't imagine what people would say! Mmmm...well if you get your hand swatted you will know why then." he answered with a slight bit of his manager's voice but truly he wasn't in that mood yet. He didn't want to get up just yet because Akihiko chest was so comfortable and smooth.
"We both know you should stop." He didn't complete the sentence prior because he knew he wanted more. His leg slide just over the edge of Akihiko's thigh...feeling the temptation but he knew better.
Ruki watched him for a moment hoping that the man wouldn't become angry about that and was a little relieved when the comment didn't seem to stress him too much. "How often have I had the chance to see you like this? I think it is quite a change from what I've experienced with you." He counter posed the question even though from moment before Akihiko fingers upon his chest made his body a bit more warm and a little more wanting. "Mm...so maybe you are gentle at other times." He leaned in and nibbled at the man's ear. "You've not the healthy body to act on anything at the moment. So...I can tease a little too." His tongue lashed the edge of Akihiko's ear and dipped in once before he nibbled just at the man's jawline and throat.

~ ~ ~


"Unfair..." Akihiko playfully pouted.
The musician's ears hadn't really been a sweet spot of his, but the man knew that if he played it up a little... well... it might turn his manager on.
In all honesty, he just wanted to see that face begging for him again.
"Why should we stop?" Narcissus asked softly. "I'm fine. Really. And you're just too... in the mood to keep me away..." it was then that Izzy's tongue wiggled into his ear and caused the musician to start laughing.
After all, it tickled.
"You're evil for an uke, you know that?" he replied.
Ruki was just adorable trying to be sexy... and the young Koyasu wanted to see his cheeks blush again.
After all... it was doing wonders for getting his mind away from the real world.
From his anger... his pain...
Sure, maybe he was using the megane-clad man... but Izzy wouldn't mind.
Would he?


~ ~ ~

Ruki blinked , "Because, you're injured...and I should probably go get busy on getting you into that venue." he answered even though Akihiko was right. He could feel that mood returning even when he thought he should get up. Maybe it was from the sheer dry spell of life itself that caused his desire to be so quick to return.
Akihiko's laughter did make him giggle though. "I'm not evil..." he said almost breathless and a small blush started hinting at his cheeks. But he did nibble at the collar bone and then... slid his tongue down just a little further over Akihiko's chest.

~ ~ ~


"Mmm..." Akihiko's voice sounded softly as Izzy's lips found his chest.
The musician smirked however, seeing that blush beginning on his manager...
And if he could keep arms, legs, head, anything that could push against his bruises, clearly away from his painfully throbbing waist and back... well, things would go a lot smoother.
Instead of moving in for the kill however, Narcissus placed his fingers beneath Ruki's chin, forcing the man to tilt his head back. As soon as that was done, Akihiko wasted no time in claiming his manager's lips in a deep kiss.
After a few moments, Narcissus removed his tongue from the other man's lips and gazed at him.
"No... perhaps you're not evil, Ruki..." Narcissus smirked for a moment, "But that doesn't mean I'm not..."
Without warning, he placed his hands along Izzy's sides, his nails tickling and teasing the other man's ribs.


~ ~ ~

But he couldn't stop him while the kisses were keeping him distracted. His fingers went into the man's hair and his lips parted to let that tongue find his own. It was all much different from his managerial side that wanted control. No, here he wanted to be controlled...Just wanting to be released from daily life.

~ ~ ~

ONE HOUR OF INSANITY LATER...

~ ~ ~


Akihiko found himself laying partly on the megane-clad man's chest and partially on the bed on his stomach.
Narcissus felt too exhausted to move...
"I think..." he laughed softly, looking up at Izzy before kissing his chin gently. "We both need a shower... after that..."


~ ~ ~

It was as if all the tension had been forcibly removed. Izzy might have never felt so relaxed in all his life...for a change. His eyes fluttered just a bit as his chin was kissed. "I don't think I've the strength to get up....." he said honestly... His fingertips just barely curled on to Akihiko. He really didn't want the man to go anywhere.... he just wanted to sleep...

~ ~ ~


Smiling softly, Akihiko shook his head, "Then... we'll stay like this..." he whispered, blue eyes slipping closed as he lay his head back down on Izzy's chest.
He felt nice... content... not at all angry like he had earlier. His rage and pain had seemed to simply fly away as he lay there... comfortable...


~ ~ ~

Izzy fell asleep not long after Akihiko's words. He was exhausted and having the warm body against him kept him from getting cold. He liked that feeling because usually he slept alone. His body curled into Akihiko's after awhile completely content to be in the man's arms. He really didn't want to go anywhere else even though...he knew once he awoke this next time he HAVE TO work and that work would be Non-Stop.

~ ~ ~

(((OOC: Another wondrous dual post from Kaikoloren and Myself!)))

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”

Each piece of Naoko's facade was falling to shreds right in front of Ryu. The beautiful, fragile man in his arms was not ok. Not at all. The wounds he had were far worse and ran far deeper than any of the physical injuries that Ryu had sustained. This Hayato...whatever he had done to Naoko, it had been horrible.
"My tenshi, beautiful darling...what did this man do to you? You don't have to love him. You don't need to be afraid. Not of him, or of anything. I won't go anywhere. I promise you. And you can handle this, Na-kun! You can! I believe in you, baby. You aren't crazy, you aren't. We will get through this. You and me. Ok? Look at me, my angel. Ok?" Ryu held Naoko as tightly as he could rocking him slowly and gently. Inside, each panicked word that came from his lover was tearing him to pieces. The logic was all flawed. The feelings were clouded by fear and obsession. His tenshi was breaking, and he had to find a way to stop it before he lost his only love to the darkness that wanted to claim him. Pulling out his cell phone, he began to dial the number for Sai.


I was Sai's before I met Hayato and... and then I met you so technically I guess I'm yours... right?"

Oh kami-sama....

This wasn't only about Hayato. This was about Sai as well. Sai had...had abused his own brother in such a way?

The phone rang once and Ryu cut it off with a snap before anyone could answer.

"s**t..." he whispered to nothing and everything at the same time.

"Naoko...will you please come back to my place? We need to clean you up. You need to rest. This isn't going to help you, not right now."
Of course, Ryu didn't care one bit about his own state of disarray, or of his own health, or deterioration thereof. Naoko was his world, his light, his reason for holding on. Nothing mattered but the sobbing blond in his arms right now.

“For Love is Immortality.”

Naoko really did try to focus on Ryu...
But every time he looked into his akuma's red gaze... his amber eyes found Hayato's unconscious form not far away...
And he shivered, looking away, unable to completely give Ryu his full attention.

"What did he do?" eventually NAKO whispered. "I... I can't tell you, Ryu-kun... I just..."
No, he couldn't say what had happened.
No one knew... not even Sai...

A few moments passed, and the pianist seemed somewhat relieved when Ryu suggested they go back to his apartment.
After all, the blond had left his cell phone number with the hospital... so the moment Hayato woke up, they could call him.
But...
If he wasn't there when the man woke...

"He won't wake up, right?" NAKO asked softly, his gaze locked on Ryu and on nothing else. "If I go with you... he won't wake up, right? I... I'm tired, Ryu-kun... And... and you're hurt and I've done nothing but make it worse... The blood and..." sighing, the blond wrapped his arms around Ryuukaze's shoulders. "Gomen nasai... I couldn't help it... I'm just so stressed... this... this is why Sai locked me in his room, you know... to try and prevent this... and I wouldn't let him help me... I just wanted everything to be right again..."

Of course, Naoko was excluding the fact that Sai hadn't really DONE anything to his little brother. Well, they'd kissed... but honestly, that was like a drop in the ocean compared to the relationship between the blond and Hayato.

Almost breaking down into tears again, Naoko shook his head. "I just want to go home..."