[+][L-N+][P-UL] ~ SHOUNEN POP - 少年ＰＯＰ ~

[Nileregwen DoUrden]

That was unexpected...
Azriel went down hard onto the rug, his hands gripping at Hiroki's wrists but the nails didn't touch his skin. In fact, the bat didn't fight back at all. Just stared up at the man, listening... watching...

I wanted to help you find what you could be!

"No you didn't." Katsu spoke back as the guards ripped the larger man away. "LET HIM GO!"
The bat's order made both bodyguards pause but then they released Hiroki.
"You didn't want to help me... you've been drugged this entire time. You're not horny as a teen, Asato. Those needs... those desires to hold me or just rip into me... all drugs. That feeling when you suddenly are just so damn tired nothing else matters... drugs." the young man shook his head from where he now sat on the floor. "I've been programming you to love me, Asato. I... I don't want to DO that anymore! You tell me I'm not absolutely mad but it took me months to grasp some sanity. Months! You've seen me when I read! I haven't chosen a damn thing since I got out of hell! Except..." dark eyes flickered away as he thought about it. "Except Kaito... except telling you the truth." Katsu looked back to the megane-clad man. "I want to be my own master and I won't lie to get what I want. What you loved was a drug induced fantasy! What you loved wasn't real! But I... I want it to be. I could have asked you... I could have just stopped hurting you... But I am abusive. It's all I know. You couldn't help but want me because I brainwashed you, Asato... don't you see?" Azriel's voice faded away and for a moment, he looked utterly defeated. "I was turning you into me..."

 

[Ryuu Minamoto]

((OOC: Chiyou/Nezumi))


kawaita tsumori ame ga tsuzunaku katari kakeru
namida wa seijaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru

It was easy, to do whatever Kai told him to do. Hideki did as instructed, and breathed deeply and slowly, calming down as if he'd just been given a mild sedative.

"It's ok. I'm fine, now." he smiled, his arm not moving from the place that it had found around the guitarist's waist.

"Your fingers?" he tilted his head up, looking at the only one in this room his eyes would seemingly allow him to see.

"Please be careful with your fingers, Kai. I don't want you to hurt...and your fingers are very important." the kid frowned, obviously concerned. Chiyou could give less of a damn about his own hands, still damaged from the broken coffee pot. They didn't hurt that bad anymore, anyway.



"I'm fine, I'm fine..." Nezumi grinned at Nakai...seeming to be okay, but, honestly, how could anyone be okay after going through everything he had in the last few minutes?

"Are you and Chiyou-kun alright?" the manager asked the guitarist, then glanced around the room trying to spot Michi...hoping to go ahead and cover all his bases at once so that he could....what? What was he gonna do? Eat? Drink? Dance? Go home and try to sleep off the utter shock of the evening? Hell...he didn't know. Right now...he'd probably go with whatever anyone suggested.





karada o tsutau ame ni furueru awai omoi
guren no yuuwaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru  

[Kaikoloren]

What wouldn't I do for King and Country...
Yes Sir!------------------------------------------------}:-

Asato Hiroki
Chairman's Secretary - Ohayou Productions

Doing what one does best...??

Hiroki was stunned and as the men let him go he just crumpled on his knees. Drugged? All this time? How? He didn't want to know. His world spun on end and fell flat in his face. Nothing had been real? Everything was a...lie? He was brainwashed? Turning into Azriel....

He put his face in his hands unable to stomach what he had been told. "Did you have a change of heart because you learned the truth about yourself . Would you have kept on doing this otherwise!?" he howled from his hands.

"Tonight I rejected a perfectly sweet man's confession because I thought...I thought..You loved me! I thought we had a future. But it was all...a lie?!" he cried in his own personal anguish.

"Bull Crap! You chose to play this game with me. Right or wrong. You chose to follow your father's blasted orders. Right or Wrong. Live or Die. You could have just stopped hurting me. You just said it. But you chose not to...up to this point. Don't give me that crap about lack of choices or this is how you grew up. Because you know how to be Gentle! You said it yourself just moments before when you were pressing that button. Don't tell me your cuddling at night and your warm caress is just an act!" Hiroki stood up feeling like his whole world had been crushed.

"You're more like your brother than you can imagine. Pig headed, selfish brat. You want to know want to know something. I've fallen for every man in the Koyasu line. Aki, Akihiko....You. Always been attracted to those looks and charisma but some thing never worked. Aki was straight and traditional, Akihiko and I always bumped heads probably because I watched over him at Aki's request. Then there was you. Obviously, my subconscious was dead on calling you kitten. Now that you tell me it was all drugs and reprogramming. I still wonder, if I didn't just want to love you." His eyes were bloodshot and he reached up with a hand to move his glasses. His heart really felt broken. "Maybe I really was a fool...forgetting what you were like at first...just wanting to be loved for once in my life. Just wanting to get rid of all the pain I felt. I did a dis-service myself and you...Those days you made me relax....and forget work for just a little while meant more to me than anything. I just hoped...I could..." Tears ran from his eyes yet again even though now they stung from the salt that coursed over the redness.

-:{------------------------------------------------No Sir!
...Where you Lead - that is the Path I Follow.

 

[Nileregwen DoUrden]

"It wasn't an act... that... that wasn't..." for a long moment, Azriel just sat there, frozen. He had been warm and gentle at night, curling against Hiroki out of a need for the security that the man's presence gave him. But it wasn't love... was it?
"I... Maybe not everything was an act... The day you took me out to the store and we bought the blankets and rugs and had dessert in a little cafe... that wasn't an act... but I..." Katsu shook his head, staring at the man only a few feet away. "The fear... the fear I showed you was an act. I used Izo, a fake fear of the spider, to pull you closer so you wouldn't leave me. I showed you pain in the first days so you would treasure the kindness later. And then someone tried to kill you..."
Carefully, Azriel rose to his knees and crawled across the floor until he was right in front of Hiroki. He gently removed the glasses from the man's face, looking into the man's red stinging eyes. "It became more than my job. Yes I had a choice... I could have picked someone else. There were any number of men I could have chosen when Izo asked me who I wanted... but I chose you. I chose you and you were mine and then someone tried to take you away." Katsu shook his head, gently trying to wipe away the older man's tears. "I wanted you here... I didn't want you to be taken away... Then... today... I don't know, Asato-kun... I just... Maybe I was afraid you'd leave because of my father... maybe I was afraid you'd leave because of my mother... I wanted to know... to be honest... to have you see everything I am and why I scream and... and I was so fiercely loyal to the spider. Could you love me without the drugs? I had to know, Asato-kun."
Thin arms went around Hiroki's shoulders then, pulling himself against the elephant of Ohayou and holding tight. He was terribly drunk, and it was starting to make him feel bad... his head starting to hurt and stomach starting to turn.
"I didn't mean to hurt you..." the bat whispered. Of course he hadn't meant physically... but emotionally. "I want to love you... I want to show you that I can change... leave the monster behind... see the world with you... You're not a fool. You were never a fool. I just played you for one..." Pulling back, Azriel looked into Hiroki's eyes once more. "I'll become better than him and I'll fix what he's done, but I don't think I could do it without you. I want to be gentle for you... To be honest and caring and happy... with you. No more drugs, I swear. The ones in your system will run out in a few days anyway... and I'll take it out. The shock. I'll have him take it out, I promise, just please... please don't hate me, Asato-kun..." Katsumi closed his eyes, leaning forward to brush his lips against Hiroki's own. "Don't abandon me too..." he whispered before claiming a soft gentle kiss.

 

[Kaikoloren]

What wouldn't I do for King and Country...
Yes Sir!------------------------------------------------}:-

Asato Hiroki
Chairman's Secretary - Ohayou Productions

The world has changed...What am I?

Maybe? You've got to be able to tell when you're acting or not, Katsu." he responded trying to get a small grip on any part of his sanity. "I guess I should be glad that some things were real...that this whole time I've thought I found something special wasn't completely a farce."

He shivered when he was reminded of the man that had tried to kill him in the basement. He had almost forgotten that too. Or had tried very hard to forget. His eyes gazed at the floor when Azriel tried to wipe away his tears. "Why did you pick...me?" he asked as his eyes drifted up to met Katsu's.

As he was held he just didn't know what to say or do. Could he love Katsu without the drugs? He hadn't even known he was on any until today! He thought he loved Katsu...He thought he was..still in love? He couldn't help hearing those sweeter words in his ears...the possibility of change. And his head was hurting so much right now that he just couldn't take anymore dark scary thoughts he needed some hope if only for a short time.

His eyes closed as he melted into that kiss, "Please......I....can't take anymore pain tonight...please..I just want to be...happy....I can't comprehend anymore tonight. I wanted just to love you...wanted just to bring you chocolate covered cherries and see your smiling face.. I just wanted to come home....and hold you..... I just..." He wasn't sure what tomorrow would bring or how he might feel in the morning but right now he just couldn't take anymore suffering between them.

-:{------------------------------------------------No Sir!
...Where you Lead - that is the Path I Follow.

 

[Nileregwen DoUrden]

"Why?" Azriel smiled ever so slightly, an expression that was barely even visible. "Izo wanted it to be Izzy Lucky in the beginning, you know... But he wanted, wants, Ohayou and thought it might negatively impact my brother... So he asked me to choose my pet. I thought about Yamada Haru... but it would disrupt Shou... and I thought about Ishihara You but... well... he's off limits... and I thought about Takagi Yuuji but that also might have impacted Narcissus. Then... I thought of the one person standing in Izo's way... the next person who would be in line for him to possibly get rid of... permanently. I thought of you, Asato-kun." Gently, Katsumi ran his fingers over Hiroki's cheeks and brow in a soothing manner. "So I convinced Izo to let me spirit you away... to let you be mine... and I read you and saw how much you needed someone. How alone you felt." Azriel pressed his lips to those of the megane-clad man once more, letting the kiss linger for a few moments. "No more then..." he whispered softly. "Let's... let's get your cherries and some hot tea and just go upstairs, ne? I still feel so cold..." of course the young man's hair was still soaking wet, his lips still tinted blue. "You can hold me and we... we can talk about nicer things, ne? I can get undrunk and you can stop crying and I'll smile for you, Asato-kun. I..." that very slight smile disappeared as Katsu pondered the next few days. "I'll be gone soon and you won't see me for a while, you know? Maybe... maybe it'll be good, ne? You can find out... think about if... if you want to try to love me. If you want to give me a second chance... without a head muddled by drugs or my own manipulative words..."

 

[Kaikoloren]

What wouldn't I do for King and Country...
Yes Sir!------------------------------------------------}:-

Asato Hiroki
Chairman's Secretary - Ohayou Productions

The world has changed...What am I?

Listening to the reason why didn't help much. He still felt so used and down that it might have well been called depression. Hiroki could feel those fingers and wanted to just nestle in to that hand but his heart wasn't ready.

"Ok....cherries...and tea....sound ok..." He really didn't want to live right now. "I can hold you?" Did that mean anything? Should he even hold Katsu anymore. His head hurt so much and he just wanted to become nothing. Everything would be quiet if there was nothing... So anything was better than thinking. He felt like a lifeless nobody.

"Gone soon?" He didn't remember why Katsu was going way. Everything was a fog but maybe it was for the best because his heart felt blasted. And his headache wasn't going away. So he just nodded slowly and looked down at his hands. He felt old...so old....and lifeless. Staring at his hands, he felt even worse. He had told Akihiko he thought Katsu loved him. He thought that there was really something there....Aishiteru had been a lie.

-:{------------------------------------------------No Sir!
...Where you Lead - that is the Path I Follow.

 

[Nileregwen DoUrden]

Both Nishikawa and Takatori had been gone for a while now, retreating to monitor the situation on security cameras.
"I'll tell you in the morning." Azriel whispered, not thinking that Hiroki could stand hearing about another operation right now. He smiled slightly, helping the older man to stand. "Of course you can hold me. I don't sleep well when your arms aren't around me, you know... The blanket helps... but..."
Katsu sighed softly, trying to think about making tea...
"Takatori!"
The guard came a few minutes later.
"Will you make some tea? Bring it and the box Asato brought with him to my room, ne?"
For a second the man seemed like he might object, but then nodded and headed to the kitchen. Carefully, the young man kept his arms around Hiroki. "I'm so drunk... Maybe we should get you drunk, ne? Maybe..."
For a moment, it seemed that Azriel was about to burst into tears. But then he smiled softly and held the older man against him warmly. "Do you want anything else, Asato-kun? I... I know it's New Years and I shouldn't have gotten drunk because I doubt I'd have been this angry... I just g0t so angry... now my head hurts..."
Of course he had no idea that Hiroki's own head was going nuts with pain right now. But it was easier to hear himself talk than to hear the silence. How he hated silence...
"I'm sorry..." the bat whispered softly then, pressing his head against the other man's shoulder. "I picked a bad time to be truthful..."

 

[Kaikoloren]

What wouldn't I do for King and Country...
Yes Sir!------------------------------------------------}:-

Asato Hiroki
Chairman's Secretary - Ohayou Productions

The world has changed...What am I?

"No...I don't want anything else...." his voice was low with almost a listless waver to it. His eyes seemed dull as he let Azriel guide him around. A low sigh came to his lips and he wondered who's head hurt more. That maybe he could find some small shred of interest. But that was just it. He didn't feel anything right now. The new year had come....but he didn't want to move forward in it. What happened to all that hope he had for Ohayou...for the future? Who cared. He didn't.

"Better to be truthful now...than later." he commented with flat voice as he stared off into space.

-:{------------------------------------------------No Sir!
...Where you Lead - that is the Path I Follow.

 

[Nileregwen DoUrden]

Katsu fell silent then, looking at his house-shoe covered feet for a few moments. "It hurts... when you find out the truth you know is a lie..." the bat whispered, opening his bedroom door and helping the older man to the bed, having him sit down on the edge.
"This morning... was fun, ne?" Azriel asked, undoing the buttons on Hiroki's shirt carefully. "I hadn't laughed like that before, you know? You had such a smile on your face." he spoke with a slight smile, hoping to distract the megane-clad man from darker things...
From the truth... the bat's world... the shadows in his own soul.
"So, tell me how your party was, Asato-kun. I was considered too... volatile to attend SMASH's." knowing dark eyes focused on the man as if saying themselves, 'Obviously now you that first hand'. "And there was an earthquake, ne? I almost fell over in the shower!"

 

[Kaikoloren]

What wouldn't I do for King and Country...
Yes Sir!------------------------------------------------}:-

Asato Hiroki
Chairman's Secretary - Ohayou Productions

The world has changed...What am I?

Hiroki nodded in agreement but really was a blank canvas now. The truth ruined what small bit of reality that he had thought was ok. But in the end everything was a lie. Everything.

He sat down without any issue at all, not even noticing the shirt buttons being undone. It was no matter. "Fun...sure...." Those smiles meant nothing now didn't they.

"I went...I laughed...I had hope....I rejected a man for the second time...someone that probably did love me. He fell off the balcony right after I refused him during the tremor. I grabbed him and almost fell over myself...now I just wish...I had...." His words were so monotone as if replaying events. He should have followed Aki...in death.

-:{------------------------------------------------No Sir!
...Where you Lead - that is the Path I Follow.

 

[Nileregwen DoUrden]

Anger bubbled up in Katsu as he pulled the shirt off Hiroki perhaps a bit too roughly. "Not everything was a lie." he hissed in annoyance.
That morning hadn't been a lie...
The times he'd spent with Hiroki just laying in bed hadn't been a lie...
The shopping trip hadn't been a lie...
His want to try new things...
To go to new places...
To see the ocean with the man who sat before him...
Suddenly, Azriel slapped the older man across the face, glaring down at him fiercely. "Don't say that." the bat hissed again. "Will you just give up? Is that what he would have wanted? Is that what your sister would have wanted? Your family? I'M SORRY!" Katsu shouted at him, raising his hand as if to strike again but refraining. "I'M ******** SORRY! If it wasn't for me you'd be holding the man you rejected in your arms! You'd be home all nice and tucked into your own damn bed! You'd be the workaholic king of Ohayou who's job ruled everything from the clothes you wear to the car you drive! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME YOU'D BE HAPPY!"
Drunk... angry... sad... Azriel walked into the closet and moved a few things around. He typed into a keypad, opened a safe, then came back, handing something to Hiroki.
"If it wasn't for me..." Katsumi spoke softly now, hands grasping Hiroki's wrist and forcing the older man's hand to hold the object against the bat's stomach.
It was a small knife, though larger than a pocket knife, and something which the bat kept around just in case... mainly to use to break plastic restraints if it came to it.
"If it wasn't for me... you'd be happy. If you want to die so badly, Asato-kun... You're going to have to kill me first because I won't let you give up."
He knew where the camera was in his room... knew that at this angle, neither Takatori (who was making tea) nor Nishikawa could see what was in Hiroki's hand nor that the blade was poking the vocalist in the gut.

 

[Kaikoloren]

What wouldn't I do for King and Country...
Yes Sir!------------------------------------------------}:-

Asato Hiroki
Chairman's Secretary - Ohayou Productions

The world has changed...What am I?

The slap got his attention but the words they were the part that sank in. His sister....she would be so sad for him. His family....they wouldn't know what to say. And would he have been happy being a work-alcoholic?

There was a flash in his head remember Katsu telling him how much working all the would ruin his life. Forcing him to just focus on him...just be human. How he learned to just relax and laugh for awhile. They had shared that laughter. He had been happy.

But then he realized that Katsu had put a knife in his hands and he stared down at it. Although it wasn't pointed at his gut but....Katsu's? His mind had barely caught those words. Katsu wanted him to kill him first....kill...him...

That was something that he couldn't fathom. Couldn't stomach. He didn't want to hurt anyone....he...didn't want to hurt Katsu. He had felt so hollowed out...so empty after the admission of truth and...dying seemed like such welcome thing until, he stared at himself holding the knife against the man he had loved.

His fingers shook and he dropped the knife just before yanking Katsu into his arms. "Don't do that ever again!" His arms shook as he held Katsu to him and dragged him down to the bed. "You...made me happy....so happy....I never would have been happy at Ohayou like I was....I.....I....don't want you to die...I want you to live. " His head snuzzled Katsu's chest as if whatever emotional damn that had held thing back burst open again. His lips kissed Katsu's shoulder and his hands ran down Katsu's back just needing to make sure he was still there. "I..want us to be happy again...but my head hurts...and I feel so messed up inside...I can't take anymore upsets."

Hiroki's eyes closed and he buried his face in Katsu's chest while his arms held Katsu tightly.

-:{------------------------------------------------No Sir!
...Where you Lead - that is the Path I Follow.

 

[Nileregwen DoUrden]

Katsumi fell with the man's pull, wrapping his arms around Hiroki's neck and shoulders as they descended. Black nails kept from pressing too hard as he buried his face in the older man's hair.
"You're coming down from it already..." Azriel whispered, having seen people in withdrawal from the Doctor's drugs. "It's... it's why your head hurts... I think... maybe..."
It wouldn't be so bad for the elephant of Ohayou because of the application method... but he would be having headaches for a few days at the least.
"Don't... don't worry... I'll live, Asato-kun." the young man smiled softly, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth from the other man. "It's what I do... But it's also what I want you to do now. If... if you can love me... show me how to love... we'll be happy. We'll be happy." he whispered, letting his long nails gently stroke through Hiroki's hair. "We'll be happy."
It seemed like an eternity, but really was only a few minutes, before there was a knock at the door. Takatori entered with a tray of tea and chocolate covered cherries on a plate. He didn't say anything, but set it down on the nightstand. His eyes saw the knife then and for a moment, looked as if to speak. But Katsu shook his head. Nodding, the bodyguard picked up the knife, pocketed it, then left the room, closing the door behind him.
"Tea's here..." Azriel whispered a couple of minutes later, gently kissing the top of Hiroki's head. "I'm still so cold... I bet you feel cold too, ne? Let's drink some, onegai?"

 

[Kaikoloren]

What wouldn't I do for King and Country...
Yes Sir!------------------------------------------------}:-

Asato Hiroki
Chairman's Secretary - Ohayou Productions

The world has changed...What am I?

Hiroki didn't want to let go of the young man in his arms. That soft fuzzy hair against his skin. He shivered and really did feel like his head was going to explode. Was it the drugs? Withdrawals and all this other crap rolled into one? The nails in his hair felt like before....that hadn't changed. "Those...feel nice....." he said softly but his voice was cracking from being so parched. His lips smiled slightly when Katsu told him that they would be happy. Right now, any positive emotions were welcome because his head was plagued with darkness.

He didn't want to let go of Katsu as the tea arrived but finally his arms. "I don't want to let go...but...I want tea. My head aches..." He almost felt sick unnaturally so. Exhaustion but it almost felt like a flu. Withdrawals? His arms slowly parted though to release Katsu as his discomfort continued. He put his hands to his head and just laid there. All he wanted was stability...happiness...and right now, the welcome arms of sleep. His emotions were still raw though and he wondered if he would be able to sleep at all.

-:{------------------------------------------------No Sir!
...Where you Lead - that is the Path I Follow.