~*The Rantbox*~

[Angel of the End]

Stupid DJ thought "rock" was Katy freeking Perry!!! crying It was horrible, rap and hip hop non-stop for 3 hours, the same songs repeated over and over again, and all sounding the same.... we begged and begged the DJ... He played one Katy Perry song, when we asked for rock, he gave us main stream FREEKING POP!!! crying crying crying My boyfriend spent $18 for us to go, we had not been out on a date in ages, literally, we had not been on a real date in about 4 months, also because he has no money and we can hardly ever get rides or use the sucky public transportation here.... we could of gone out to eat, or we could of saved it and put it back to celebrate our upcoming 2 year anniversery, or he could of taken us out to eat, or have gotten me something... (besides the last roses he's gotten me, a total of $7 or so spent, the last gift he gave me was a dog-tag necklace that was his when I was upset over the summer.... and before that, an old stuffed animal of his he had since he was a kid.... and I can't even remember anything else of recent: and that was months ago. He wasn't even able to get any money to get me something on my birthday... crying crying crying )

I have the rose right now, made of glass, it's all scratched up with marks on it and one of the leaves is broken off... it was the last one they had... and it's clear, so was $2... the first one was red and $5, mom scratched up the stem, then when I showed it to her, as she was looking at it, she dropped it and it broke and we couldn't fix it crying crying crying crying

This is depressing.... this is SO DAMN DEPRESSING! We can't even spend either our year and nine month marking point together, or Halloween, or do anything because he can't get a job nor can he drive! It's been almost two years, I love him to death, but it has been taking it toll on me! It's hard to feel loved when you don't feel beloved. And even when I did, it wasn't right.... I can't even say how all this makes me feel right now.

I dressed up super-gothic loli to the dance, our first one together also, mind you... black layered skirt with white crosses on it, and an elegant black lace shirt, with a black lace-up corset over it, my best black lacy feet-killing high heeled shoes. My skirt is saved for special occasions (worn it twice in three years), since I spent $60 on it from Retroscope Fahions and waited for over a year to buy it, my corset was about $50-$60, the lace shirt was very detailed and elegant, the shoes were priced at $30 or so..... I also spent a ton of time making my make up look perfect and making my hair look perfect and arranging the black feather and rose head piece, a black lace choker with little silver crosses and chains dangling from it.... he didn't even complement how I looked.


It's sad when you have to beg for a complement or approval, and point out SEVERAL times and ask for something, when you never really ever get anything, and you try your best to give them everything and pay whenever you can.... he only got me the first and second rose because I had to ask and point it out, the first one, I had to say while still staring at it for a while, "There's nothing more pathetic than a girl who has to buy her own flowers." Then he asks what he is suppose to do....


I know it's horrible for me to complain, but it hurts, and hell, this is the rant box, right? I've kept it all in for so long, and honestly, it needs to get out. It hurts like hell. It doesn't make me feel that he knows me, not really. He bought he cds for Christmas, we had been dating for over a year by then.... I thought he would get me a bracelet, even a cheap something, something personal.... I spent so much time and thought into what I've given him, everything... the expensive watch, the wallet, the 3-layer chocolate professional-looking cake I made him, the 4+ hours I spent hand sewing a gift for him....... I payed for part and went out and bought the ring he "gave" me, I've payed for atleast part of pratically everything he's ever gotten me. For last valentines day, not even a $2 rose....

It makes him really upset when I mention these things, is that self pity or what? Who is he sad for? I would just think after all the sacrifices and risks I've taken for him, that he would love me more and care about me more. He says he does, he can write sappy endings to lovenotes on lined paper ripped out of a binder... I gave him money to get me some things, cute little skelanimal stickers from a place 1 block away from his house, waited a week, he never got them, never gave me my money back. "I'm forgetful", that's what he said.... not even "I'm sorry", when I said something sarcastically about it, I then had to try to make him feel better.

He cares, right? I'm not just an object or a nice arm accessory, or something to lean onto, right? I'm not just something for him to spend his time on and pretend to care about, or to distract him, right....  

[Gothic Muffin of Doom]

I know that after emotional rants this is going to sound so pathetic, but the problem is chocking me.
Why has everyone become so religious with ridiculous exaggeration (add to this that I live in a Muslim country)? Why does it have to be a religious book that you read in public transport or in any time you get for reading? I don't read religious books and even if I did, I'd keep it to myself. It's not a sin if studied in the morning on my way to my study place ( you can read a lot in an hour and a half). And why do all cab and bus drivers force you to hear the religious tapes or the Muslim radio channel? Why don't they keep it to themselves, I mean, not everyone wants to listen to this, eh?
And now for the weirdest part why do people ask if the lyrics to a certain song where Muslim appropriate and not listen to it if they weren't?
I think it's becoming a little too much, and I won't stat talking about clothing, because since people started speculating that I was half Japanese they stopped talking to me about how I should dress.
The list goes on and on but I have to go now.
じゃまたね！  

[Heartagram1028]

My school dropped me again. Because they arent paying attention to my grants. I know I am eligible for $4000 in grants and they "dont see any grants" and now I am about ready to cry. I know I procrastinated in August but, Its already January and I've seen nothing. oh and when I asked how I was expected to pay I was told to "suck it up and ask my mom for money" by a counselor. WTF. Sorry for the rant.  

[Heartagram1028]

Pyroball

btw if anyone actually does translate that german line, I'm half jew so dont hink I'm a Nazi or anything

I speak german and I am not a nazi... dude I am kinda screwed because I look like a stupid aryan... (damn my family)  

[ElectroPanties]

RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!

No, but seriously. Why can't my feet just grow a LITTLE more?? It's so damn hard finding shoes (shoes I LIKE, mind you) because I'm between a US women's 5 and 5.5. A lot of companies start their shoes at 6. My foot would just slip right out. D: There are also no good boutiques around where I live, and I hate always ordering online because then I can't try anything on. I took measurements of my body, so it's not as bad with clothes. It's mostly damn shoes!

CURSES! -rolls around in agony-

Oh yeah, why do my feet have to sweat so much in heels? I'm trying to find a GOOD foot deodorant so I don't have to slip-n-slide around.  

[Gothic Muffin of Doom]

Jadehh

RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!

No, but seriously. Why can't my feet just grow a LITTLE more?? It's so damn hard finding shoes (shoes I LIKE, mind you) because I'm between a US women's 5 and 5.5. A lot of companies start their shoes at 6. My foot would just slip right out. D: There are also no good boutiques around where I live, and I hate always ordering online because then I can't try anything on. I took measurements of my body, so it's not as bad with clothes. It's mostly damn shoes!

CURSES! -rolls around in agony-

Oh yeah, why do my feet have to sweat so much in heels? I'm trying to find a GOOD foot deodorant so I don't have to slip-n-slide around.

I am the same size, all brands start at 6 or 7 in Egypt so I can never find women's shoes my size. It's annoying.  

[Gothic Muffin of Doom]

How many times do I have to answer "No, I'm not of Japanese descent" for people to believe that I'm not. I don't even look Japanese, I live in Egypt (And I'm Egyptian) where there are only about 1k Japanese people(According to the Japanese MOFA) among the 80 million Egyptians and none of them is related to me. I've heard a million reasons ranging from the most common "but you look Japanese" to "But she's quiet and produces great work just like them." Some of them even ask my friends if I were.
Even a person who works under Japanese management (I train in this place now)thinks so.
There are only a few things that relate me to Japan and none of them can affect my looks (Gackt, nintendo, and the place where I take my training which led to some basic Japanese learning),
I know there is a photo of me somewhere on the photo thread, but I can't fetch it now, you might want to take a look and I hope you don't come to the same conclusion.  

[j3ll0_m0nk3y]

I WANT TO PUNCH A BABY IN THE FAAAAACE!
I hate everyone today. Smile at me on the street, I hate you. Stand in front of me in the checkout line at the grocery store, I hate you. Sit too close to me on the couch, I hate you. Talk to me, I hate you. Ask me to do anything at all that doesn't involve sitting around and hating the universe in general, I HATE YOU.
HAAAAAAATE!  

[Keevan Draco]

exhaustion sucks rocks....i'm tired all the time, i've got no interest in anything anymore, all i do is work, sleep, get online for a couple of minutes...lather, rinse, repeat. i'm trapped by the system of the corporate world, just another broken cog in the machine, waiting to either break, or die...  

[Whisper Gently]

Okayy, I know it's kinda silly for me to be this annoyed, but it's just the way this girl looks and stuff.
Just what I see from her profile ,irks me soooo much.
I had a conversation with her and she was talking about how she was goth and blah blah blah, and she just seems to think if she wears some cheap black eyeliner on here lips she is. I don't think it's just her though, I think it's all of the kids my age claiming to be goth that's getting on my nerves. I'm really ******** tired of it. I'm tired of people thinking that because they like something other then bouncy happy stuff that they are goth. (plus I ******** hate black lipstick). I really want to tear of people heads because it. D:< RANTRANTRANT.
Oh yeah by the way I HATE vampirefreaks

 

[Hyena_Queen]

vampire freaks sucks.


but yeah


long story short.
I am tired of people giving me advice when I don't ask for it and people telling me the way I feel a bout him is invalid....there's a whole bunch of other drama that goes along with this but I don't feel like boring anyone  

[Osiasya]

1.
I.Dont.Fit.In.ANYWHERE
And theres nothing I can do about it. Theres not a single label you can put to me other than Outcasted freak. But even then I don't really fit THAT either. So I'm just a total freak, when I want to be goth or something to do with industrial. Well I guess you can call that on me and say Freak is a label, but that would be logical.

2.
I hate my new school, I hate the house, I hate the city, I hate the state, the new classes, being left behind by all my friends at home, my relationship going down the tubes. Thanks mom, I see how it is. You didn't think of any one else when you let your mothers convince you to move did you? No, you didn't.

3.
I've never felt more alone and unsure in my whole life. I feel like a Zombie all the time recently when usually my mood is never bad for more than a few hours or a day. No one cares anymore. I had this stage of life, no one wants to hear you rants and trade rants with you. No one wants to sit down and role play anymore or talk on the phone, or just hang out, or believes in magic, or even wants to talk anymore.

4.
I'm thinking I can't be straight. Or Gay. Or Bi. With the weird issues I have with dating and doing sexual things (Even though I have no reason to be weird about them) I am. So I'm thinking Im Asexual (doesnt want women or men, or anything else for that matter) But I'm in a long term relationship. I can't just let go. UGH.

In conclusion: UGH.