-insert name here-'s Place and Everywhere Else ~ Geezerville

[Kairanha]

*Kai wasn't feeling like his normal self. The events of the night a few days ago kept playing in his head. He had revealed sides to himself no one had ever seen and he had intended to keep it that way. That was major in it's own way, but that paled in comparison to the fact that he cared for someone and let them get hurt when he was right there. Sure it was minor, but he took it as a personal failure. If only he wasn't so into keeping his power secret he could have used it sooner instead of waiting until there was no other choice.*

*He shook his head trying to clear those thoughts from his mind. Thinking about it wasn't helping and wouldn't change anything. It was day light, but he wanted to check on Amy to see how she was holding up. Kai got out of bed and quietly approached Amy and hugged her from behind* How are you feeling?  

[Cuwen]

Amy had gotten up from the couch to look out the window and check on Thistle. She was smiling as she watched her pony prance around when she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist and hug her. She smiled softly and wrapped her arms around Kai's as she leaned back against him.

"I'm doing pretty well, actually. Thistle's been having a lot of fun with the fairies today. How are you doing? You slept an awfully long time."  

[Kairanha]

That's good. *he smiled weakly* I'm feeling better. I'm not very skilled with magic. Making a jump with some passengers takes a lot out of me. *he pauses for a moment trying to find the right words to say* I'm sorry. If I didn't invite you to the bar, none of that would have happened.  

[Cuwen]

Amy sighed softly and turned around in Kai's arms. She leaned back against the window and moved her arms up to rest on his shoulders.

"Well, maybe you and I can practice together sometime. I actually was just looking through my potions book a moment ago."

She nodded to the large, old tomb that was resting on the coffee table. Then, she looked back at Kai with a soft smile.

"And don't apologize. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm glad you invite me places. Although, if I remember right, I think it was me who suggested meeting Kaori at the bar. I wanted to talk with her, and I thought we could meet there since I didn't know how to get to your shop. But however it happened, you didn't do anything wrong, okay? I... I probably should have handled my return better than how I have. If I faced the things that I've been avoiding, then there might not have been such a big explosion. Instead, I chose to live in this little fairytale land with you where I just pretended it was only us for the time being. I do that. I run away from my problems a lot..."

She wondered if she should continue on, if she should share with Kai all that had happened, or even some of it. She didn't know if he wanted to know what had happened, though. He had never asked her why she had left GGG or why she was back. They had talked about him a lot and why he had been gone, but when it came to her... well, it hardly ever came to her. She didn't know if it was because she had a huge wall built up around her and didn't come forth with anything, or if it was because Kai might not want to know what happened.  

[Kairanha]

*he could feel some of his energy come back as he looked at Amy so closely* While we're like this we could practice something else instead. *he said it grinning broadly, but dismissed the thought. This was serious*

I'm not one to talk about handling returns well. I went away suddenly without really telling anyone or even why. When I came back I fit right back in like I never left. Nobody was angry. Nobody was sad. Nobody was even happy. It felt like I was just a stray cat that finally found its way back. I could come and go and no one would pay any mind. As much as I come around, my presence isn't really necessary to anyone. That's my fault though. I don't get involved in other people's lives.

But not you. Somebody cared so much about you that when you left they personally felt hurt by it. That's something I could only dream of happening to me. I'm not really the best at asking questions. I figure people deserve to have secrets as I have mine. I just... I've always been afraid of getting an answer that will push us away from each other. So I've never really been close with anyone. As they say, ignorance is bliss. I never get hurt, but neither do I get love.

But I'm starting to wonder... what happened between you and Kits? What happened to make her act that way? And it wasn't just her. It felt like you were going to get lynched by the Ladies if I didn't step in. I've heard the rumors, but I wasn't there, like I should have been so I don't really know the whole truth.

I mean what I said about people deserving their secrets. I won't think any less of you if you don't want to talk about it. But if you will. What happened?

((sorry that took awhile. xp ))  

[Cuwen]

{{No problem. I thought you had fallen asleep. But your long post was definitely worth it. I think that's the longest post I've seen from you, and also one of the best. You did a really good job with it. smile }}

Amy had smiled slightly at Kai's comment about practicing something else instead, but she waited for him to continue. She sensed that he had more to say.

Amy found her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of Kai's neck as he explained what it was like for him to return after being gone for so long. It was good to hear what someone else had gone through and to know that, while their situations were different, there was someone here who could understand what she had gone through.

Then, when Kai started to describe what he had witnessed at the bar, Amy felt some moisture start to build in her eyes. She quickly blinked it away, though, and looked off to the side at some random painting she had on the wall. She was actually pretty sure it was a painting her mother had picked out and put in the house. Amy had liked it so much that she left it there. It was a thick canvas filled with long brush strokes of different colors of red.

Amy was thankful when Kai explained why he didn't ask people questions, including her. It made sense, after he explained his reasons, why he wouldn't want to. Amy could completely and thoroughly relate to not wanting to get close to someone. She had lived her life by that, and the one time she had really, truly let someone in, it had ended badly. For some reason, though, she found herself possibly wanting to try it again, and to try it with Kai. There had always been a connection with Kai since she first met him. Some day she wanted to talk with him about to see if he understood why they might have that. Not today, though. The fact that he was asking Amy not only a question but such a personal question showed her that he was willing to take a big risk for himself and put himself out there. It meant a lot to her, and she wanted to return the gesture and share something that was very hard for her to share.

She took Kai's hand and led him over to the couch. Once he sat down, she sat down and pulled her legs up to her side so that she sat facing him. She kept her hand in Kai's, though.

"I'll tell you, Kai. I'll tell you all that happened and why you saw what you did. I'm afraid that you might look at me differently afterward, though, but you are taking a risk by asking me something so personal, so I will share with you something that's very personal with me. I just want to make sure that you're alright with hearing everything I have to say. It might take awhile. Is that... alright?"  

[Kairanha]

((I'm actually really close. emotion_drool By word count, it's probably my longest RP post on Gaia. My longest one overall was a guide explaining why investing in completed R/EIs was a bad idea. Included charts and graphs, it did. 3nodding lulz but yes. I'm used to Kai being close to one-liner status that I can picture him being out of breath after talking so much *pats him* hang in there buddy.))

*this is something he had always wanted to do. Being there for someone else when they needed someone to listen to, but now that he was in that situation he was starting to feel a bit anxious, not sure what his own reaction would be. Would they even still be friends by the end of this conversation? Such fears lurked in Kai's heart, but this wasn't about him right now. Amy didn't have to do this, but she trusted him to know things that could change the nature of their relationship. He was damn well going to listen to what she had to say*

*he puts his free hand gently on Amy's cheek* I know this isn't going to be easy. We can stop any time you want. I promise not to interrupt you unless you ask me to until you have finished. I also won't judge you until I know the whole story. Even then I've always led with my feelings, with my heart. I doubt any knowledge will change the way I see you. This is important. I'll make time. As much as you need.

((after this I'm sleeping. pause mode initiated! pirate I don't expect or really wan't a quick resolution just so I can sleep. I can see us building on this for a while.))  

[Cuwen]

{{Wow! Good for you! I hope you enjoyed making the post. smile I really liked reading and responding to it. You have a good night's sleep, now! I hope you don't mind that I just kind of unpause this long enough for me to post my response. I was already writing some of it up while I was waiting for your response, and I want to post it while I still have it. lol. And this is going to be really long. I'm sorry! I hope your eyes don't bleed from reading it all. lol.}}

Amy closed her eyes briefly when Kai put his hand on her cheek. She reached up and placed her hand on top of Kai's and let his words wrap around her like a warm blanket. She knew that this would be hard for both him and her. They were both making progress tonight, and they both needed comfort while doing so. She felt special that Kai was choosing to do this with her, to stay here, listen and risk hearing things he might not want to hear. It would be a very real situation for him and he was going to try and stay for all of it. It meant a lot to her.

When she opened her eyes, one tear slid down her cheek and over her and Kai's fingers. Then, she turned her head slightly and kissed the palm of Kai's hand.

Amy then sighed and scooted further back on the couch so that she could rest her side on it. She cradled Kai's hand between her own on her lap. "Thank you, Kai, for staying here and listening to me. I needed to hear what you just said. It means... a lot, an awful lot. I hope you don't see me differently after this, or at least not negatively. I have made a lot of mistakes."

"Well... I don't know if you knew this or not, but I dated Karrie awhile back. Karrie, as in Kits' friend and the chef over at JD. We... well, we dated for over a year. I moved in with him and it became really serious. I loved him... obviously. I know he loved me, too, but somewhere along the line, he started to change. It was just little things at first. He wasn't talking as much as he used to, he didn't do as much of the stuff he used to do. Like, he had this forge he set up at his house. He used to use it all the time, but then he just stopped after awhile. All these things added up and he just was acting different. I probably should have asked him more about it, pushed him to open up, but I didn't want to push him away. He was the first serious relationship I had had. I didn't know how to deal with stuff like that."

"He also started getting very... heated."

Amy blushed here and tucked a strand of her pink hair behind her ear. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I have to say this because it ties into what all happened. Even though he was closing himself off more and just didn't seem to want to do a lot of the stuff he used to like doing, he wanted to be physical quite a bit. I didn't mind it because I enjoyed it, but I definitely noticed a change. And then... well, he actually hit on Kits' at Aqua Springs one time. Maybe I should have been upset, but by that point, I was just really concerned about what was going on with him. Eventually, he decided to end things. He said he still loved me, but he was worried about me being with him. He said that something was going on with him and that he was feeling things within himself that he hadn't before. He felt different and like he wasn't in control of himself. Well you know how many magical creatures come through MW? To me, with what he was describing, it sounded like he had been put under a spell of some sort or came in contact with some of the after effects of a spell. I tried to explain this to him and told him we could fix it, but that seemed to make him even more convinced that I had to stay away from him so that I stayed safe."

Amy couldn't help but scoff there and roll her eyes. "Well, I thought that was what he was doing, protecting me. And maybe it was a little bit, but I don't think that was all of it. I was so upset and so hurt. I moved back here with Thistle and tried to keep up my regular routines, especially at AS, but it was so hard. I did go to AS a few times, of course, and while I was there... I was informed of something."

A small sarcastic smirk formed on Amy's face and she started playing with Kai's fingers with her own. "My... sorry, AS's staff likes to gossip a lot, and they also see a lot of stuff around town that they like to share with others. Apparently Karrie had started some kind of... thing with dame. We hadn't even been apart for that long and he was already either dating dame or sleeping with her. He said he wanted to protect me, but obviously he didn't care about dame's safety."

She scoffed again and rolled her eyes. "I was so upset and felt so betrayed that I just wanted to leave. But I had made a promise to myself that I wasn't just going to run away again when things got tough. I knew Kits either knew what was going on or would know soon because Karrie is her best friend and can always tell when there's something going on with him. Either that, or dame was going to tell her since she and dame are friends. I waited for someone to tell me what was going on. I figured someone would have the decency to. But nope! No one did. I couldn't take the lying and secrecy anymore. I couldn't stand being around it. I kept trying, though... but Jessi saw what it was doing to me. I was becoming even more bitter than I had been before, more acidic, and just sad. Even Thistle didn't like being around me that much. So, Jessi convinced me to move to the city with her and Daniel. Jessi had gotten a job offer there and Daniel was going with her. She wanted me to go with her and practically drug me and Thistle along. I didn't care, though. It was hard for me to care about anything."

"I came back here the other day because I had been contacted by some legal people about changes that need to be made at Aqua Springs. I realized that I needed to sign papers and deliver them to AS that would show I was no longer part owner of the place. After I got there, though, I ran into you."

Finally, a real, soft smile appeared on Amy's face, and she looked at Kai for a few moments. However, it was soon replaced by another look of exasperation. She quickly stood up from the couch and walked around the living room for a little bit. Then, she turned to Kai with a look of anger and helplessness.

"I know that as a business partner, I should have contacted Kits a long time ago and told her what was going on and that I didn't want to be a part of AS anymore. I couldn't come back and be around everyone after all that had happened. But... I was just so mad at her. I was mad at her, at Karrie, at dame... I was just so mad at everyone and everything! I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing where I was and that I was okay. I know how completely childish that is, but that's what I felt. And it just drug on longer and longer until it seemed that too much time had passed for me to call. And when I got back here, I knew that I'd get an earful. I knew Kits would be furious, so I kept putting it off. I stayed in here with you and just pretended it was just you and me in this town and we didn't have to worry about anyone else."

"I just don't understand how people can do these things to each other. I'm so mad at Karrie for what he did. Yes, I'm the most upset at him because he should have been a man, and if he didn't want to date me anymore, he should have just said so and broken things off. But even if that had been the case, how could he have turned right around and been with dame so soon after we had broken up? Did that entire year and some months mean nothing to him? Is he that cold and callous that he could just move on from such a long relationship so quickly? But then Jessi helped me realize that if Karrie was really the type of guy to do something like that, then I was so much better off without him and he didn't deserve anymore of my time or emotions being upset over him."

Then, Amy rolled her eyes. "And then there's dame. I was never that close to her. I definitely wouldn't call us friends, but I made some bad judgements about her in the past. I had apologized and kept trying to move past everything, as I thought she did, too. We had some fun times together with Kits. It was all okay. But she knew that Karrie and I were together for a long time and that we hadn't been broken up for that long. She's smart, she figures things out. I know she knew this. Kits probably told her, or Karrie. But she just goes and does whatever with him anyway. What kind of person does that?! I knew that she really liked sex and was in fact a little sex crazed. That's all she really talked about half of the time, anyway, but she also seemed sweet and wanted people to be happy... I don't understand how she could do what she did."

Some of the anger and bitterness faded away from Amy's face, then. She sighed softly and joined Kai on the couch again.

"And Kits... Kits was my best friend here. I know she was probably put in a horrible situation with Karrie and me after we broke up. But I still thought she would tell me about dame and Karrie. I had always assumed that she was closer with dame. She even ditched me a few times to hang out with dame, but I also knew it was hard for Kits to be around Karrie and I when we were together because she used to date Karrie. She even had a crush on Karrie again, from what I gathered. If that was the case, then how can she be so comfortable around dame now? I saw them in the bar. They looked like best friends. Why is it so easy for her to be around dame when she's whatever with Karrie but it wasn't with me? Maybe it's because there were possibly more emotions involved with Karrie and I, but still. She was supposed to be my friend, too, and she never told me about any of this. In fact, she still remained close with Karrie and dame as if they had done nothing wrong! Like, what they did was alright and how they hurt me was worth nothing. I felt like all the time I spent here developing friendships and relationships was worthless when all this happened. I felt like what my father had told me since I was little about never being able to trust anyone because they'll just hurt you and leave you in the end was right. My mother left him when I was younger, so he always told me to not trust anyone and not to get close to anyone, no one sticks around in the end. And after all that happened, I just started thinking he was right again after all. I started to go back to the person I had been before I came to GGG. Jessi and Daniel kept me from sliding completely back, though. I hope you can meet them someday."

Amy wanted to lean into Kai and have him wrap his arms around her, but she didn't know if he'd want to bolt after this or not. "As for why the ladies gave me that look, I can try to assume why and explain that, but maybe in a little while. You've already processed so much."

{{*repause again!}}  

[Kairanha]

((*resists urge to post. fails* emo damn bodily functions getting in the way. I really want to keep going after reading that... and hey, just cause all I read is books with pictures, doesn't mean I don't appreciate words, but that reminds me that I have a new chapter of Cage of Eden to read/look at pretty pictures. xp great, now I'm going to have some Kai thoughts gestating in my head while I'm trying to sleep.))  

[Cuwen]

{{Aww!! Thanks! biggrin I'm glad my post makes you want to keep going. I don't know if that means you're going to post now or go to sleep. lol!}}  

[Kits Rose]

((*thinks Cuwen needs to do some re-reading too, in AS, starting about here, paying special attention to her own posts. cat_stare * ))

((to continue from last night...))

I really do appreciate you listening. I don't mind if you come to me when you need somebody to talk to, too. cat_3nodding I guess I just think of Karrie first cause I've known him for most of my life. cat_sweatdrop Besides him, you're my closest friend...

*puts black olives on half of the pizza, glancing at dame to see if she wants some on hers too*

I think that an accountant will help more at this point. I think it was mostly the finances that have been getting to me. I'll see how things go after I find an accountant. I don't think I could handle even more interviews at this point anyway. cat_gonk I've already got a couple of applications that I need to go over.  

[damecharlie]

Completely understandable, chickadee. You and Karrie go way back. xd Back to the playground days, if I'm not mistaken. 3nodding

And thanks -half hugs her- you are my closest friend too. I mean, I still have Dec and Bonnie but I don't seem them all that much, they are super busy, same for most the MW ladies. 3nodding You have different friends for different needs. 3nodding

-shakes her head at the olives and picks up some mushrooms- You like mushrooms? -starts putting them on her side of the pizza, continuing to listen-

An accountant will -def- help. biggrin rofl You really hate interviews, don't you? xd Usually it's the person being interviewed that hates it. lol -giggles and Kits-  

[Kits Rose]

*nods* Yeah, we met in elementary school.

Yeah, I like mushrooms. cat_smile

You're right, there's just some stuff you can't tell certain people. Like, I wouldn't want to talk about Rod with Karrie... cat_redface Well, I guess there are some things, but definitely not everything. For one thing, he'd probably get jealous.

Yes... I do hate interviews. I don't like having to decide if someone gets the job or not. cat_gonk I don't like disappointing people, but I only want to hire people that will work out good for Aqua Springs. I don't like end of summer reviews either, when I have to let some people go. cat_sad I know what it's like to be turned down for a job, and it's hard to be on the other end of that.  

[damecharlie]

Oh good. Me too. xd -grins and places mushrooms on her side as well and then gets out the already chopped green bell pepper- How 'bout bell pepper? biggrin -sprinkles some on dame's side-

rofl -bust out laughing- I could just see Karrie's face if you talked about Rod with him, especially the things you told me the other night. rofl rofl rofl

surprised ! -gets a sudden thought- Uh... sweatdrop You don't feel that way when I talk about him and that stuff...do you? gonk Because if you do I am so sorry!!! I don't wanna make you feel that way. sad sweatdrop gonk

Yeah neutral I wouldn't wanna be in your position, Kits. sweatdrop -smush against her a moment before continuing putting toppings on-

-after a second, dame glances over at Kits and asks tentatively- . . . Kits? Do...do you have any idea why Amy left? And clue? neutral sad -wasn't sure if it was too soon to ask and didn't want to see her friend upset again- sad  

[Kits Rose]

No, no pepper for me. cat_sweatdrop *sees a package of pre-cooked sausage crumbles* I'll take some sausage though. cat_smile

Yeah... that wouldn't be good. cat_sweatdrop I think Karrie might actually walk out of that conversation. cat_lol

No, I don't feel the same way. I mean, yeah, I love Karrie, he's one of my best friends. He's also really hot... cat_ninja But no, I don't want to be with him anymore. I'm happier now, not being with him. cat_3nodding

Maybe I should hire someone to do interviews for me. cat_ninja But that would mean doing more to get someone to do them! cat_gonk

*pauses and looks up from the pizza* I... I know she was upset for a while about breaking up with Karrie. The last few times I saw her, though, she seemed to be back to normal again. cat_neutral She seemed happy, more like she was before things with Karrie started going downhill. I didn't see her very often for the last month or so she was here, after my last birthday. Then she just... was gone, and Phoenix was in the pet spa, waiting for me. I don't know why she left. cat_sad