Circus Grounds

[XCandy and LunacyX]

Antha stood quietly for a moment, watching the play of leaves on the ground. When finally she looked up and met his eyes, the hurt, or anger---whatever it actually was---had drained from her expression. It left something calm and unusual in it's wake. "And what, pray tell, would that difference be?" She could hear her own heartbeat, the rush of her blood, and she didn't quite know why but it made her a touch more nervous, made the blood run quickly to her face and then drain away again in little waves.
These types of situations were not her strength; sex, games, cruelty, power struggles, that was what she knew how to handle, what she understood. Anything deeper than that made her faintly nervous, confused her, as was plain on her face.

 

[Vikteren]

+Rotting Lunacy+

Antha stood quietly for a moment, watching the play of leaves on the ground. When finally she looked up and met his eyes, the hurt, or anger---whatever it actually was---had drained from her expression. It left something calm and unusual in it's wake. "And what, pray tell, would that difference be?" She could hear her own heartbeat, the rush of her blood, and she didn't quite know why but it made her a touch more nervous, made the blood run quickly to her face and then drain away again in little waves.
These types of situations were not her strength; sex, games, cruelty, power struggles, that was what she knew how to handle, what she understood. Anything deeper than that made her faintly nervous, confused her, as was plain on her face.

His voice was quiet. He felt--numb. As though it did not matter any longer whether he told her or not, whether she believed him. Perhaps it was enough to merely say it, like naming a curse. But Antha was not a curse, was she? Even if she kept her distance after this, even if she never wanted to see him again, he had been privileged to know her--for such a short time, but it felt like so long--
He was tired of evading the words.
"Because I did not love her."  

[XCandy and LunacyX]

Her eyes did not go wide with shock, but it was certainly there. Seconds slipped by, and then a minute, while she stood staring at the ground. The look of deep thought on her face made it seem as if she were merely trying to figure out a puzzle of logic, going through all the motions to solve it and slowly, like slipping frames into place, she fell back into normality. Or at least the normality unique to her. "Then the difference would be that you do love me?" she asked for clarification, her voice not soft but indeed unusually gentle. Her eyes met his when she asked and they did not look away, refusing to give betray the fact that she was nervous. And beneath it was the real question, the one she couldn't find the words to ask aloud. Was it the love that oncle Julien and Michael had for her, or the love that Singe and Claire claimed? There really was no delicate way of phrasing such a question out loud.

 

[Vikteren]

+Rotting Lunacy+

Her eyes did not go wide with shock, but it was certainly there. Seconds slipped by, and then a minute, while she stood staring at the ground. The look of deep thought on her face made it seem as if she were merely trying to figure out a puzzle of logic, going through all the motions to solve it and slowly, like slipping frames into place, she fell back into normality. Or at least the normality unique to her. "Then the difference would be that you do love me?" she asked for clarification, her voice not soft but indeed unusually gentle. Her eyes met his when she asked and they did not look away, refusing to give betray the fact that she was nervous. And beneath it was the real question, the one she couldn't find the words to ask aloud. Was it the love that oncle Julien and Michael had for her, or the love that Singe and Claire claimed? There really was no delicate way of phrasing such a question out loud.

Vikteren met her eyes, evenly, trying to mask that sudden stab of anxiety in his chest, and nodded.
That didn't seem like enough.
He took a breath, filling his lungs to steady himself, and said, "Yes."  

[XCandy and LunacyX]

The questions in her mind, lingering beneath the spoken words, remained and she pulled her barriers down for him. Still she couldnot speak them.
But regardless, she laughed very lightly, her gaze steady as she watched him. "Could have fooled me. You seem to have a talent of irritating me." She threw in another thought with her questions while she spoke. It's easier for someone you love to irritate you.

 

[Vikteren]

+Rotting Lunacy+

The questions in her mind, lingering beneath the spoken words, remained and she pulled her barriers down for him. Still she couldnot speak them.
But regardless, she laughed very lightly, her gaze steady as she watched him. "Could have fooled me. You seem to have a talent of irritating me." She threw in another thought with her questions while she spoke. It's easier for someone you love to irritate you.

"I know," he said ruefully. "It's a gift. I used to be the only one who could get a rise out of my sister, too." For a moment, he forgot himself; he smiled, a brief flash of fangs between his lips. Even that, though, could not prevent it from being an unfamiliarly human smile. Brief, reminiscent, and sweet as only memories could be.
Although I could probably take lessons from Antha, he thought to himself, recalling her expertise in the art of frustration.  

[XCandy and LunacyX]

Antha still smiled, but it was undeniably dampened, more somber in her own way. "My brother has the same gift," she said, her voice gone soft again. She took his words as an answer to her unasked questions and automatically her barriers went back up, quickly, while her eyes watched the ground again. And then quietly, she walked past him, back towards the small path, though she wasn't sure how far she had wandered off.

 

[Vikteren]

+Rotting Lunacy+

Antha still smiled, but it was undeniably dampened, more somber in her own way. "My brother has the same gift," she said, her voice gone soft again. She took his words as an answer to her unasked questions and automatically her barriers went back up, quickly, while her eyes watched the ground again. And then quietly, she walked past him, back towards the small path, though she wasn't sure how far she had wandered off.

"You ran a bit," he said, catching up to her soon enough. His legs were longer, but he didn't mind slowing down to walk beside her.
She was heading right for the path. He was surprised. "You must have a good sense of direction," he commented.  

[XCandy and LunacyX]

The only acknowledgement she gave him was a fleeting sidelong glance before her sights fell back upon the dead leaves, sprinkled with half-melted snow.
She slowed by a slight degree, letting him pass her, and kept her eyes on the leaves while her hair slipped from behind her ears, shielding her.

 

[Vikteren]

He watched her, momentarily perplexed by her reaction--how her smile had fell, how she now hid her face.
Then he got it.
Brief, uncensored shock made his steps falter, made him stop completely in his tracks, only a few steps away from the path.
"Antha," he said carefully, "You...do know that I don't think of you in the same way that I do--that I did--my sister. Yes?"
That he did not love her in the same way that he had once loved his sister, his friends or family. That went unspoken, in the quiet places of his mind.  

[XCandy and LunacyX]

She stopped before she reached him, standing a foot farther from the path than he did, and gave him a look so blank that no china doll could ever compete. "I really don't," she said simply, "You gave me no clarification. Besides, if you will recall, I don't have a decent understanding of what a typical sibling relationship is like." To preserve the blood, the closer they are within the family the better, she reminded him. "So no, I don't know. To be honest, I'm at a complete loss." The last few words were spoken hastily and a bit of emotion flickered into life on her face---confusion, nervousness. She had grown up not having to distinguish between the normal types of love that normal people had, like that between a brother and sister. So for all her power, Antha Mayfair was left struggling to understand.
Finally she just sighed, daring to meet his eyes, and paused to think over her own words, wishing she could explain it more clearly but failing to find a way to do so. "There are many very different types of love, Vikteren. What I don't understand is which type you meant." Reflecting, she still felt it wasn't the right explanation. "Does that make any sense at all? Because for the life of me, I can't think of how to explain it properly."

 

[Vikteren]

+Rotting Lunacy+

She stopped before she reached him, standing a foot farther from the path than he did, and gave him a look so blank that no china doll could ever compete. "I really don't," she said simply, "You gave me no clarification. Besides, if you will recall, I don't have a decent understanding of what a typical sibling relationship is like." To preserve the blood, the closer they are within the family the better, she reminded him. "So no, I don't know. To be honest, I'm at a complete loss." The last few words were spoken hastily and a bit of emotion flickered into life on her face---confusion, nervousness. She had grown up not having to distinguish between the normal types of love that normal people had, like that between a brother and sister. So for all her power, Antha Mayfair was left struggling to understand.
Finally she just sighed, daring to meet his eyes, and paused to think over her own words, wishing she could explain it more clearly but failing to find a way to do so. "There are many very different types of love, Vikteren. What I don't understand is which type you meant." Reflecting, she still felt it wasn't the right explanation. "Does that make any sense at all? Because for the life of me, I can't think of how to explain it properly."

Vikteren had not looked away from her since they had stopped.
At her words, he said softly, "Then perhaps you should ask your associates, since they seem to understand more clearly."
The sly glances, the bluntly phrased questions and threats.
If you hurt her

Do you want to

"I'm not surprised that they thought we were lovers," he added quietly.  

[XCandy and LunacyX]

Antha took a small step back automatically, as if he had made to strike at her, and her face took on a new expression as if someone had flipped a switch to turn it on. Pain. Her eyes could not watch him. "I'm not avoiding the main subject anymore," she said softly, a whisper so low that only a vampire could distinguish words, "So why are you?" Not that she was prompting him to address the subject. Not that she really wanted to hear. No, her nerves were too frayed, tired. "And why not?" she asked of his last comment, "After all, when have we ever acted like lovers? Were most of my companions not lovers, I doubt they ever would have made such a connection."

 

[Vikteren]

+Rotting Lunacy+

Antha took a small step back automatically, as if he had made to strike at her, and her face took on a new expression as if someone had flipped a switch to turn it on. Pain. Her eyes could not watch him. "I'm not avoiding the main subject anymore," she said softly, a whisper so low that only a vampire could distinguish words, "So why are you?" Not that she was prompting him to address the subject. Not that she really wanted to hear. No, her nerves were too frayed, tired. "And why not?" she asked of his last comment, "After all, when have we ever acted like lovers? Were most of my companions not lovers, I doubt they ever would have made such a connection."

"Because--even though I do not show it well--" he pressed a hand against his face, the nerves and stress and guilty knotting painfully at the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, he felt terribly, terribly exposed. Some small whisper of subconscious told him to run, to escape this trap of words and snarling emotions, but he could not abandon her. Not after this, he would not.
"--I think perhaps they could tell, even then. You would not recognize it. It is familiar to you as earth and air, that love or desire or what you may call it."
He opened his eyes, tilted his face skyward.
Suddenly, "We should be going." he said quietly. He did not offer a hand, although he would have automatically in other circumstances, half-afraid that she would brush it aside, half-afraid that she would accept it with one of her sweet, old smiles.  

[XCandy and LunacyX]

It was a simple, immediate reaction that her eyes turned to watch him when he began to speak. And she did not look away, even when the pain in them was swallowed whole by a new one, which she was certain would give away a little more sense of her vulnerability, her fragility---guilt, loneliness, fear...
When his eyes turned skyward, when he strayed from the issue, she moved towards him automatically, closing her fingers very tentatively---delicately---over his own. "Don't run," she said softly, a scrap of a whisper that no one but him could have heard, "Please." Of all he had said since night had fallen, she feared most the things that he was saying only in his head while he spoke. As a result, there was only one thing she could think to say. "Please, don't run. I love you...please don't leave me." Somehow, inconceivably, she kept herself calm, if not desolate.