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First off, I have never had an abortion and never will. I've gone to great lengths not to be involved in pregnancy in any way. I am not capable of reproducing any longer.

In a perfect world, no one would. In a perfect world everyone would have contraception and sufficient education to use it. In a perfect world, self esteem would be too strong to let people be pressured into doing unsafe things. In a perfect world, condoms would never break or fall off in situ. In a perfect world everyone would be clean and sober during sex. In a perfect world there would be no rape or incest. In a perfect world couples would negotiate reproductive decisions calmly before it gets to the serious stage.

Guess what? We live in the real world. In the real world, the choice can be abort or be homeless. In the real world sometimes that child is so damaged it will live a short, horrible life. In the real world sometimes you hate the father or the circumstances of it's conception so much you would risk your life to get rid of it.

In the real world, the choice tends to be legal abortion, black market abortion, or infanticide. That's what happens, you see. Historically, city trash heaps where full of dead babies. Now, in poor countries with abortion and contraceptives outlawed, parents starve the extra children. In the real world, teenagers get kicked out for coming home pregnant.

I live in the real world. I have had friends who had to make this decision. They didn't make it lightly. Frankly? If you are capable of making this decision easily, you probably shouldn't have children. I am glad it's a decision I will never have to make for myself. I also lack the arrogance to think I should be making this decision for other people.

Why I'm against requiring partner permission:
I am imagining what that'll be like for all those women in a relationship where talking it over is an ugly option. Yes, in an ideal relationship, they'd talk it over anyway. Hands up for those of you who believe a majority of these will be ideal relationships. Anyone? Anyone? So imagine someone who just got out of something turning a little ugly and finds she's pregnant. Now she's got to go back and beg him for the right to get rid of it. Even if he was controlling or verbally abusive or he hit her. Nice. Statistically? Most pregnant teens have a boyfriend older than twenty. Imagine the already skewed power relationship there with this new lever to hold over her. what if her parents will kick her out if she turns up pregnant? This has "Recipe for Disaster" written right over it.

Yes, it's not ideal that the guy doesn't get a say, but you know what? Not his body. Sorry. Yes, it sucks that if she keeps it, he'll be having to help support it whether he wants to or not, but that still is not as horrible as forcing her to bear it and raise it and support it against her will. The risks, medical and social are all on her side while the financial ones are split, likely not evenly. There is no way he should get final say here. Sorry. No dice.

We live in the real world. Legislation must reflect that.

I choose quality of life over quantity. For a living I had to deal with the messes adults made of the lives of children they weren't prepared to raise. Ever spend all day in a room full of kids with serious damage do to parental drug and alcohol abuse trying to teach? I have. Then I got up the next morning and did it again. I've seen the mess abuse and neglect leave behind. It's not that I didn't love or care about those kids, but realistically, most of them are going to have seriously sucky lives. The statistics for generational drug and alcohol abuse are chilling as are the crime figures. The brain damage typical of FAE/FAS pretty much sets the kids up for early pregnancy/jail/addiction because it takes away the ability to understand consequences, cause and effect, and amps impulsiveness. no, not all of them end up living horrible lives, but odds are in favor that most of those kids will have trouble holding jobs and make terrible choices because of the damage. These are incredibly labour intensive children for foster care and schools and they are the ones with the least chance of succeeding in life. All that heartache, all that love, and labour and class time spent dealing with these issues, all the counselors and social workers and instructional aides could be invested instead in helping ordinary students or children who's problems are accidental and generally more remediable. Generational FAE creates a permanent underclass.

I genuinely think we'd all be a lot better off living in a society where every single child comes into the world wanted and loved with a decent chance of living a decent life. I think birth control is a huge part of that, but accidents happen. They happen more often to the young, the drunk or high, the most impulsive.

I value the quality of life for people already here over that of potential people. Yes, its harsh, but over population is causing major environmental damage. If depopulation ever becomes a major issue again, I'll rethink, but population has been rising steadily since 1400 and I think its more logical to try to improve conditions for people already alive now.

I believe in pro-choice. I can write so much about it but I choose not to. I feel so strongly for that, it honestly would take a lot of my time and energy writing the whys and whatnot. lol. So i'll just state my stance.

Education is always good, but anyone can get pregnant without meaning to..however careful you generally are.
I got pregnant for the 5th time when my youngest child was 3. At the time I was at university taking a degree and my husband was working away Mon to Fri. I was sick for a couple of days and my birth control pills didn't work.
I had a termination because it was the right thing for me to do. We didn't want another child, couldn't afford one..it was a very easy choice.
I have never regretted it and still believe it was the only sensible thing to do.

Okay, first off I'm from Fargo, ND. The only clinic in the state is closing down because of a law they just passed. SO saying that...

I don't think abortion should be "a dirty little secret." I can understand why many people have to resort to that, but I don't feel that's right.

I had an abortion a little over a year ago and I've struggled with a way to tell my family. I really couldn't care less what they think about me - I know I'm my own person regardless of what my Mommy says.

I think that if we were able to openly discuss it and how it impacted us, it wouldn't be such a traumatizing event. And yes, how horrible I still feel is what's making it so difficult to tell my family (we don't have emotions in my family).

I still stand by my decision - but I am devastated that it was the right one to make. The situation I was in was all wrong - I should have had someone to lean on in order to make a different one.

I don't think it's fair to the would-have-been to be my dirty little secret.

My first pregnancy resulted in a live birth.
My second and third resulted in miscarriage.
My fourth pregnancy resulted in a live birth.
My fifth pregnancy ended in abortion.

I've heard contrary information from the medical community - it doesn't matter which pregnancy it is, there's equal chance of it miscarrying (unless prior medical issues).

I just hope that you are getting enough information - from a doctor - before you do it. That will help with any after effects you may have (the mental kind) becasue you never really know how it will effect you until you have it done.

I personally have never had an abortion nor have I myself ever been pregnant... benefits of being a man blaugh

But seriously, I think if abortion was made illegal (again) women would indeed find a way. However, fewer women would simply because it's illegal.

For example, my ex-mother-in-law had my ex 6 months before it was abortion was legallized back in the 70s. She told me that the only reason she didn't have an abortion was because it was illegal (a very sad comment from a mother, but it is what it is).

Also, on another note, murder in this country is illegal (stay with me). If it were not illegal to murder stupid drivers, our Interstates would be littered with loads of dead dipsh*ts! I would carry a 9mm and lots of ammo... but alas... murder is illegal... so they live on... *sigh* emo

When I made that choice when I was 16 and pregnant, I knew that if I carried him to term and gave birth to him I could be nothing but selfish - I wouldn't be able to give him up.

All things considered, I think I'm doing a better job than a lot of parents out there becasue I commited to raising him - whether I was ready or not.

I think adoption is a great choice to make - I'd have a lot more respect for someone who did made that choice because I understand how hard emotionally it would be.

You always have a choice. Sometimes they aren't very appealing, but they're still choices.