Post Jokes, ridicule joke websites and more.

[iHawt Damn]

pretty hate machine

Why can't dinosaurs talk?
highlight for answer: Because they're all dead.

^^;

Lmaaooo.
I love that.

 

[dapeacefulman]

Top 10 Valentine Card Rejects

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat a**.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your a**.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!  

[iiNightx]

how do u fit an elephant into a subway?

take the s out of sub

take the f out of way

...

THERES NO F-IN WAY!  

[Lord Qwillerin]

George Wasington, George Bush, and Bill Clinton are on the Tintanic.
George Wasington says "save the women."
George Bush says "screw the women."
Bill Clinton says "Do we have time."  

[iiNightx]

thats suppose to be george bush and mike jackson lol

Ok there is 3 guys who get kiddnaped

they're only escape is to shove 10 pieces of fruit up their butt but they cannot change their facial pattern...must keep it straight

the 1st guy grabs 10 apples and can only shove up 4 then starts crying

the 2nd guy grabs 10 grapes, he gets 9 up and starts laughing

the 1st guy laughed with the 2nd "haha u got knocked out." 1st guy said "thats because i saw wat the 3rd guy had." 2nd guy said

the 3rd guy came with 10 pinnapples  

[pretty hate machine]

There was a guy in my English 101 class a few years ago that would have his little six year old daughter make up a joke for him every day, then he'd come tell us her new joke in class. I really loved this one:

How many apples grow on a tree?
→ All of them, dad, duh!  

[KadyChan23iheartyou]

Kakashi-Senseis-Girl

This I think is funny...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mdMb6bRXt4

As is this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRcj6CAhe7s


They're both addicting if you listen to them enough times.

omg the last one i watched like 10 times  

[KadyChan23iheartyou]

dapeacefulman

Top 10 Valentine Card Rejects

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat a**.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!

4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your a**.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".

2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

omg thats just... wow  

[Dj-Zerooo]

I dont get it.  

[Misty Marina]

My joke is no joke~  

[Chucklenuts]

They say that Chuck Norris is so tough, he hides a third fist in his beard.

Once, Mr T was sitting at a bar, then Chuck Norris came in and looked at him. The building exploded, because there was too much awesomeness in there.

Lame, but hey theyre kinda funny
mrgreen mrgreen mrgreen mrgreen mrgreen mrgreen  

[Handsome Pierce]

There is an old lady walking down the street with two garbage bags one is leaking five dollar bills. A policeman comes up and says "Mam where did you get that money rob a bank." She replied "Well you see I live next to a bar and a lot of drunk guys come to pee in my bushes so when pull it out. I take my hedge clippers, and put them around and say "Five dollars or it comes off." The police officer says "Well that's a sound business solution. What's in the other bag."She replies "Some don't pay."  

[II_Sami_II]

I dont have a joke >_>
 

[NeKo pleez]

Newtons third law says Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you yesterday
lol i love it  

[NeKo pleez]

oh ya and another one is this:

a farmer has 3 daughters and each were about to go on a date
the farmer met each boy at the door to make sure they were ok

The first guy comes in and says:
hi my names joe
im here for flo
we're going to the show
is she ready to go?

the first guy seemed ok to the farmer so he let them go

The second guy comes in and says:
hi my names freddy
im here for betty
we're going to get some spaghetti
is she ready?

the second guy seemed ok to so he let them go to

The third guy comes in and says:
hi my names chuck

and the farmer shot him

if u dont get it ask me lol its hilarious