|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:13 am
"No he's nuts." Akihiko reiterated as he felt his partner's warm arms encircled him. "I can't explain it, Ruki... we just had the strangest conversation and... well... he got me to thinking... no doubt I put a few things on his mind too but..." the young Koyasu sighed, turning in Izzy's arms. He reached out, taking one of his manager's hands into his own two, gently rubbing the fingers and knuckles, blue eyes focused on the hand as he spoke. "Maybe I don't really want Ohayou... but if not me... who?" carefully he brought Izzy's fingers up to his lips, kissing them softly. "I don't want to give up Narcissus... and I refuse to give you up. I know those will be ojisan's conditions... and it's... gods it's weighing on me." sighing again, Akihiko kissed Izzy's fingers again. "I know you want to help, Ruki... I really do... but I... It's something I have to choose for myself..."
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:47 am
What a shock, it was so surprising,
You looked so small and frail------------------------------------------------}:-  Izzy Lucky
At times life can be so enlightening .uoy no nrut nac ti tuB
Izzy could only refute so much of that idea. Shou was...different. That other mood, well it seemed almost normal. Certainly there was a lot Izzy could say but he wouldn't mock the man, "If he is nuts, then he's a good sort of nut." Shou had saved his life when he had been frozen staring at his death rising above. Maybe he could call that crazy? Because Shou should have thought only to save his own skin but instead turned back and grabbed him. Bravery and courage...well, Izzy could live with the idea that Shou probably was nuttier that a fruit cake. But he'd take the fruit cake if it were to happen all over again.
However, this other topic caused Izzy's chest to tighten. He didn't know what to say so he buried his head in Akihiko's back and let the man kiss his fingers. Those hands only wanted to hold on to a sensation that might be so short lived. For a long time he didn't answer, life was just too short, Izzy thought to himself.
But finally, he squinted his eyes trying to draw up courage, "I don't want to lose you. Not to your grandfather...not to Ohayou. Not to anyone. I know it's selfish but it's the first time in a long time I've been greedy...."
He paused as his fingers tightened in Akihiko's hands because even when the man said he refused to give him up, there had to be a doubt in Akihiko's mind of what he'd really do because he couldn't his grandfather's legacy aside. Akihiko had grown up being groomed for that life. To be the head of Ohayou..follow the family dream. Izzy on the other hand, had shunned the family dream and ran away. Did he have regrets? Maybe a few when he was younger, but his Aunt and Uncle filled the hole in his heart. Those regrets hadn't eaten him alive. However, he had a feeling Akihiko's regrets would weigh far heavier than his had. Life was different for the Koyasu family.
"....But...I am not going to stop you from making your own decision. Even though...I dread what your heart...your mind will decide in the end. No matter how much you love me, you still feel like you're tied to your grandfather's legacy. And I have this strange feeling if you don't come to terms with that for yourself, even if you did choose me, you'd not be at ease. I don't want to share a life with the shadow of your regrets, Akihiko, so...I guess all I can say is make your decision, and when you do, grasp it fully without regret."
-:{------------------------------------------------I didn't know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:11 pm
"It isn't greedy..." Akihiko whispered with a sigh. "You make it should so simple a choice... I honestly want you, Ruki. We're happy... aren't we?" the young tiger turned, now facing his manager... his partner... his lover... "You're happy, right?"
It was a simple question... or was it?
For himself, Akihiko was very happy with Izzy. He'd never felt like this before... never loved someone so strongly. Hell the love he held for Izzy was even greater than the feelings he'd had for Yuriko.
But there were so many things that made his life hell now. Ohayou was a big one and sometimes he considered just leaving it all behind altogether.
But could he?
Could Akihiko really let it go?
Shou was right... wasn't he?
"I gave up the true mask of Narcissus for you, Ruki... so I could change for you. But... a part of me can't help clinging to what should be mine. I... I can't give you up but at the same time, I don't want to just throw away what I've always believed would be mine one day..." he sighed, blue eyes closing as at the same time, Akihiko pulled Izzy against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Ruki... you shouldn't be worrying about this... you should be happy and excited for your first show and somehow... well... I just can't focus on the music. For the first time in my life there's too much on my mind to work on what's always been my first priority."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:55 pm
What a shock, it was so surprising,
You looked so small and frail------------------------------------------------}:- Izzy Lucky
At times life can be so enlightening .uoy no nrut nac ti tuB
Those blue eyes turned to meet his with one question that he knew the answer to without even thinking about it, "Yes, I'm happy....I think we're happy. Are you happy? If you're happy too, then we both are happy with each other."
It had been a simple answer for him because he always knew what he had wanted but he just could never obtain it until now. After all the hardships and strife, here he was. Would he want to give this up? No.
Izzy curled into Akihiko's chest and closed his eyes, "I'm not sure what to tell you. If I had been a woman it would have been easy, ne?" he said weakly although he didn't regret what he was. He sighed an looked up at Akihiko, "You're going to have to make a decision I think. Whether you like it or not. Give it up...or take it all. I'm not sure how you can have both, Akihiko. And I don't know what his terms are. But even if you tell me not to worry about this, I will be worrying."
He didn't say anything about the show because to be honest he didn't feel in the mood to sing. He'd probably do fine on stage because his stressed emotions would certainly intensive the song. And he knew that. Although he wished he could have his best friend's back up. Because he felt like he could use a little support.
"Akihiko, you didn't change for me. You changed for yourself. Yes, I wanted you to change, but I wasn't there when you did. I was lost at sea. While you were discovering what truly mattered in your heart. I may have been an instigator of that change. But your choice was your own. Putting Narcissus aside, was something you did for yourself." clarified Izzy as he listened to the heartbeat within Akihiko's chest. How many more night's would he hear this sweet sound beckoning him to sleep?
"You'll have to make it through this club event...I'm sure you can do it." he said firmly with a touch of his managerial voice. He tried to move his mind away from his own inner doubts about the clandestine meeting between Akihiko and his grandfather. But a feeling of dread still sank in the deep pit of his stomach.
"One day, when all this is said and done, you'll feel free and clear headed, and living the life you chose. It will be a good life. And you'll be happy." He kissed Akihko's chest trying to give one kind outlook to the awful situation. Izzy wouldn't say if he were on that same path, holding his partner's hand. Because he couldn't tell Akihiko to just choose him. Just tell Ohayou to go to hell...and move on. It wouldn't have worked. Even if Akihiko were to blindly follow him down that road. The road would be covered with regrets. Not his own, but Akihiko's.
Sometimes life didn't offer up happy endings. Izzy knew that. But he'd claim as much of this happiness as possible and hoped deep in his heart that Akihiko could live with whatever choice he made. "Aishiteru, Akihiko..." he whispered. And he hoped, he could also....live with it as well.
-:{------------------------------------------------I didn't know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 2:32 pm
Narcissus say there, saying nothing... doing nothing except holding onto those warm hands... Izzy's hands... his Ruki...
"I can't."
Untangling himself from his partner, Akihiko pulled his cell from his pocket and sent Yuuji a text message.
I need to see ojisan tomorrow.
"This is eating at me!" the young tiger said in annoyance. "I can't focus on music or you or anything until I know the fate of the company. It isn't that I love it more than you, it's just..." lithe fingers reached up to run through his hair, every body movement of Akihiko just screaming that he was beyond stressed.
Ohayou's financial fate... Izo's moves against them... Hiroki being out of touch... Ko being Takagi Hideo... Yuuji taking things over... Shou being two in one... Aki dying... Michi and Izzy's budding musical careers...
Hell that didn't even count the annoying craving feelings that had been building within Akihiko all day!
So much stress... and Narcissus felt like he was going to break beneath the weight of it all.
Something had to give, and the sooner he got everything out of the way with his grandfather, the better. It would be one less thing on his mind. One less nagging worry to distract him from the music.
From Izzy.
"It's just I feel like I'm going crazy. Shou started making me question my choices and what's important even as I was trying to help him and..." the musician's hands went to his waist, wrapping around it as he paced slightly. "And I know what's most important to me. I know my family is traditional Japanese... nothing like your aunt or uncle... and some things have just been beaten into my head ever since I was a boy. But..." blue eyes focused on Izzy. "I went through hell to finally have you here, with me... and I can't understand why. I can't understand why ojisan would put you in my life, insist on you in my life... and then... the possibility of you not being here HURTS, Ruki. Hurts deep deep down. If ojisan pushed Hiroki and Nezumi apart just because he didn't want their relationship interfering with Ohayou... damn it, Ruki, he'll do the same to me. I know it."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:07 pm
What a shock, it was so surprising,
You looked so small and frail------------------------------------------------}:- Izzy Lucky
At times life can be so enlightening .uoy no nrut nac ti tuB
I can't.
Izzy sat up in the bed after Akihiko had pulled himself out; his knees curling up under his chin with a blanket around him. He listened but he didn't know what to say. The fate of Ohayou and the fate of their relationship. All of this was more than one man could bear alone.
"Shou's good at making people do that, Akihiko...." he said softly, "He made me believe I could be a star rather than live my life as a manager. Here I am doing it. Even if you think he's a nut, he sees the potential in others...and isn't afraid to reveal it. Maybe that's his magic. ne?"
He titled his head on his knees watching his star. What advice could he give except relay the story of his own past, "My Aunt and Uncle are not traditional Japanese but my Father and Mother are. I know some of what you feel. I was also raised and told my place was to take over for my father one day. But I didn't want to do that with my life. I rebelled, ran off, not wanting to follow in his footsteps. And...He disowned me...Do I regret it? Sometimes. When I think about how much I miss my mother and all those little things. Knowing she's still alive but can never share my life with me. But...my Aunt and Uncle, they became Mom and Dad...tempered me, helped me find a path to follow and through a lot of tough love, here I am. Following the path I chose, not the path my parents had planned. No matter what happens. I don't regret being this man. And walking this road."
"You...you're at that same point in life, that crossroad." he paused and looked down at his knees then glanced back into his star's eyes, "You grandfather couldn't make you the man you are today. I could. He could never have given you a reason to change. Not the money, not Ohayou, not the women, or the fame....nothing could change you from Narcissus. But...I gave you that key to temper your soul. He could see the possibility and that's what he latched on to, Akihiko." Now you're the man he can see running Ohayou. You're a grown tiger with claws and compassion."
"He was desperate so he'd take this risk, knowing he didn't have long to live. And now, now that he can see the man you're becoming, he doesn't need me anymore, even if you do. He expects you to follow the traditional course and take up the reins. Even if Hiroki-san's around, he would never be blood. Hiroki-san is just the Guardian of your destiny in his eyes. Pushing him away from Nezumi-san, probably was a safety measure. And yes, he's going to try to do the same thing to you. We both know this. But, will you let him? That's a question I can't answer. It's up to you." Izzy's explanation had grown from his experiences with Akihiko, Koyasu Aki and Ohayou. One day, he knew he'd do MeKA proud. He wasn't as naive as he used to be.
"I'm not going to tell you what to choose. But, I will be here, if you want me here. I made you that promise. I came to Japan with you....for you. If you choose a different path, just promise me it will be your choice. Not your grandfather's. Then, at least my heart will be at ease." Izzy knew that at the end of all this no matter what happened, he was going to survive. Even if tore his heart to pieces....He didn't want to lose the one man that meant everything to him.
For a moment, he stared at his knees, knowing he couldn't say anymore than he had. He couldn't fight this battle for Akihiko. Akihiko had to come to terms with himself, and make his choice. All Izzy could do was be prepared to take it...whatever that choice might be.
-:{------------------------------------------------I didn't know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:49 pm
Sighing, Akihiko leaned against the wall, slipping down it to sit on the floor, knees against his chest, arms around said knees, in a similar manner to Izzy's own right now.
"I feel alien in my own damn skin..." the musician whispered, burying his face in his knees and arms.
"Akihiko... Narcissus... Koyasu... doesn't matter what name I have or what my role is... it all feels so mixed up and confused. You have Akihiko... my fans have Narcissus... the company has Koyasu... They all want a different side of me." he sighed again, head popping up so that his chin could rest on his knees now. "A different persona to fit the mood..." Akihiko found this rather amusing and laughed darkly. "And here I thought Shou the only one with a persona too difficult to handle."
Lithe fingers reached up, running through his dark hair as the young man just tried to express his feelings over the hell that was being thrown at him almost constantly.
"Maybe you would be happier without me... I know I make your life harder." he held up one hand. "And I know you'd tell me that I'm being ridiculous and that of course life's hard but you'd rather spend it with me anyway... I know that... I feel similar." a third sigh and those ice blue eyes looked over at the man on the bed. "If ojisan demands you gone from my life... I'll forfeit the company. I know I'll regret it on some level, but I think I'd regret it even more if I had to let you go... you know?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:12 pm
What a shock, it was so surprising,
You looked so small and frail------------------------------------------------}:- Izzy Lucky
At times life can be so enlightening .uoy no nrut nac ti tuB
Izzy muffled his own chuckle on his knees, "So maybe Shou isn't a nut after all. Maybe we're the ones who are crazy and he's quiet sane." He tried to lighten the mood with a little brevity.
But he grit his teeth when Akihiko spoke again and fortunately the man clarified himself or Izzy would have been bristling. However, the lines afterward made Izzy smile a little although, right now, right here it was easier to say those words. Could Akihiko say them in front of his grandfather? That was the question.
His brown doe eyes gazed up into those blues, "There isn't any 'if' about it, he will ask for that. He'll want an heir. I don't think he's had the time to consider other solutions. I was a fool's gambit, and he got lucky. With Matsumoto Izo pushing his own agenda, and you only recently becoming what he wants in an heir..." he sighed and shook his head. "When you see him Akihiko, you have to be on the top of your game. What you say to me right now, you've got to be able to say to him. If this is your choice, then be prepared to defend it because he surely will press you to do otherwise."
Even Izzy knew that the old tiger wasn't without claws. He'd fight to the end and play his pawns until the last one standing. Akihiko was still a piece on his chess board. The young tiger still had yet to become a player...
-:{------------------------------------------------I didn't know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:07 pm
"He lost any right to pull my heartstrings in LA." Akihiko replied honestly, tilting his head slightly so he could look up at Izzy on the bed easier. "He insulted you and I got to hear his real thoughts about me finally. I've no love for him... or perhaps I'm only lying to myself to keep the truth from hurting."
With Aki dying, Akihiko was the only Koyasu. Technically Yuuji was a Koyasu, but he didn't hold the name... only some of the blood.
All his life he'd tried to get his grandfather's attention. Eventually his musical skills had been impossible to ignore and yes that had garnered the old tiger's gaze... but it wasn't a family. Not a real one. Even if Izzy's parents had disowned him, he had his aunt and uncle... a family.
Now Izzy was his family and the old b*****d who had never cared about Akihiko and only Narcissus was going to want him to throw that away.
He had family...
"I won't throw you aside, Ruki. You're my family, not that b*****d." sighing, Akihiko fell over onto the floor on his side, hair complete with extensions flowing out around him. "I won't back down... he won't get what he wants. I want you, Ruki. I want to sing and dance and perform brilliantly beneath skin searingly hot stage lights. I'll give up Ohayou for my passion... my love." blue eyes closed and the man just lay there for a long time. "His life isn't my life."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 6:20 pm
What a shock, it was so surprising,
You looked so small and frail------------------------------------------------}:- Izzy Lucky
At times life can be so enlightening .uoy no nrut nac ti tuB
Izzy nodded because he too had lost all respect for Koyasu Aki that day in LA. The tiger had showed his true stripes. "At least you got to hear the true then. I wished it hadn't turned out that way but...I'm glad that you aren't being deceived anymore."
He crawled over to the side of the bed and peered over at Akihiko. His peeking eyes smiled down as his dark hair fell to the sides of his face. "You've got family by choice. And that's the best kind. You don't have to give up your passions. And you'll be able to take to the stage with the freedom to be who you are. Your own choices...and your own legacy."
"I want you to be happy, Akihiko...." he reached down and stroked his partner's cheek. "You've got so many dreams that you've yet to fulfill and I want to see you reach for each one."
Even as he said it, he had to wonder, Had Koyasu Aki thought of this? If so, was there anything else the old tiger could pull? Unfortunately, Izzy didn't know. And with Akihiko under so much stress, he had to think that his partner thought of that too. "Your life is your own. And I look forward to the years to come with you..." His finger tips wandered down over those sweet lips that sang the most exquisite music. The man that Akihiko had become over the course of a year was so much more than the man that tormented him at the restaurant. "You've really grown up, Akihiko..." he grinned then poked at Akihiko's belly. "From the jerk who tried to blackmail me...to this..." he giggled a little. "You were such a pain in the butt then...."
Again he tried to bring a lighter note to their world but he also realized tomorrow was going to be a tough day in more ways than one. They had the funeral...then if Akihiko was going to get into his grandfather's home. It would be one more thing chalk up to another rough day. He didn't mention it though. He wanted to keep the lighter mood. So hopefully his partner would finally come to bed...and get some sleep.
-:{------------------------------------------------I didn't know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:09 pm
(((OOC: -Dies of Viewfinder fangirl bliss- http://nanjokoji.deviantart.com/art/Viewfinder-Asami-Ryuichi-323343013 BTW the funeral is Sunday. Tomorrow would be Saturday for Akihiko, Izzy, Yuuji, Shou, Ko, Aki, Naoko, Suzaku, Nakai, and Chiyou. It's already Saturday for You, Haru, Izo, Azriel, Kaito, Hiroki, Michi, Nezumi, Kimura, and Ryuukaze. This gives Akihiko the chance to meet with Aki before Hayato's funeral.)))
"Choice..." as Izzy's fingers grazed his lips, Akihiko couldn't help but kiss those fingertips oh so gently. "You're right... you know... I have dreams... images of amazing sets in my mind. I still want to be Genji on stage, you know." the musician smirked mischievously at the mere thought. "I want to charm and seduce the world... not sit behind a desk signing papers and making conference calls. I don't want that. That's why I wanted Hiroki, you know... I wanted him to do all of that for me and let me make my music... to be in charge but have none of the responsibilities of one in charge. Foolish, ne?"
One lithe hand reached out from where he lay on his side on the floor, gently stroking along Izzy's cheek. "I could still blackmail you, you know..." the musician whispered, gazing up at the megane-clad man. "I am happy. Well, not with anything outside of you. But with you... with you I'm very happy, Ruki. The choice... it's hard... but as much as I feel like I should follow tradition... as much as I hate giving up control... for you... for you I'd give up anything... you know that... right?" Akihiko smirked slightly, "And you know how much I hate giving up control..." he teased, trying to turn things to a lighter note as well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:51 pm
What a shock, it was so surprising,
You looked so small and frail------------------------------------------------}:- Izzy Lucky
At times life can be so enlightening .uoy no nrut nac ti tuB
Izzy smiled as his fingertips were kissed. "You'd be scratching up the walls if you were stuck in the office all day. Hiroki-san thrives there. You...well you don't. Nothing wrong with that, and well I think that plan could have worked...if all these other issues hadn't sprouted up."
He sighed gently as his partner returned the loving touch. Although his eyes flicked down at his naughty star when he spoke of blackmail. "Oh no you don't. Don't you get ideas. Spoiled tiger."
Watching the tiger on the floor, Izzy realized that Akihiko needed an escape from himself. Just for a short time... Slipping down from his perch on the bed, he slowly covered his partner and started to kiss those soft pink lips. "Yes, I know you hate it...and I know you'd do anything for me. So now I'm going to do something for you...and make you forget about all those things."
Gently, his fingers stroked down the sides of Akihiko's face as he took those sweet lips upon his own. A slow, breathless kiss. He sucked upon one lip then, upon the other....before parting those lips and pressing deeper. His tongue flicked forward to entwine with Akihiko's. He loved how close they were...so warm.
-:{------------------------------------------------I didn't know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 9:06 pm
"Blackmailing you could be fun, you know... having you do anything I want..." of course Akihiko was teasing.
In reality, Izzy would probably do anything he wanted... at least in their own personal relationship.
"Could have you on stage... being the damsel I have to rescue..." the young tiger joked, his arms reaching out to wrap around Izzy as the man laid down atop him on the floor.
He liked this... this closeness... the feeling of his partner right there... close enough to touch... to hold... to kiss...
Blue eyes slipped closed as Izzy kissed him. The soft sigh that escaped Narcissus' lips when his lover pressed that kiss ever deeper only sent a shiver down his spine.
He wanted Ruki... right here and now...
After all his manager was right... Akihiko needed an escape... needed for forget for just a little while that his entire reality was crashing onto his shoulders.
Half drunk and half in need of the warmth of another body to distract him from the narcotic cravings that had been plaguing him all day, Narcissus's fingers traced up Izzy's back, fingers pushing under the other man's shirt and against the warm smooth skin hiding beneath.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 6:04 am
kawaita tsumori ame ga tsuzunaku katari kakeru namida wa seijaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru"Yes, we agreed. 24/7 is bad...but maybe 24/5? A happy medium?" Hideki grinned and batted his eyelashes, trying not to laugh, but unable to control himself as he burst out in a flurry of high-pitched giggles. "No...but that makes it sound more like a job than a happy thing..." the young vocalist paused and pondered, then burst into a whole new round of giggles at the mention of a chibi him riding a record player. "Seriously! If I could do that, I'd never need to go to a carnival or amusement park again! I could just spend all my time riding record players and doing stuff like that. Hmmm....I'd probably buy a guinea pig and put a saddle on her. I'd be the world's first professional guinea pig rider!" Ok, so his mind went some very, very strange places lately, it was still hilarious to watch and listen to! karada o tsutau ame ni furueru awai omoi guren no yuuwaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 6:54 am
 ~ Nanika tarinakute mo ima aru iro de ~
"I slept wonderfully, thanks." the violinist took a seat across from the busy student, nibbling at some bacon on his own plate as he watched his friend enjoy the breakfast. "So...is it decent?" he asked after a few moments. He hadn't had access to all the things he was used to having when cooking, so he'd had to improvise with what was around. It kind of put into perspective just how much he really did have, as far as excess went. In his kitchen, he kept practically a whole grocery store's worth of items stocked and fresh at all times. Kou...well, he just had a few odds and ends, not much beyond the necessary. It was how normal people would expect a normal student to live. "Raito...you are the cutest thing ever, ya know...." Ryu found himself saying, a wistful smile on his face. If he could freeze time outside of this apartment and just enjoy this morning forever...ah, but what good would that do? Even in a world where time no longer moved outside of himself and Kou, it wouldn't really, truly change anything, now, would it? ~ Sou boku no sekai wo nurikaete mitai ~
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
