Welcome to Gaia! ::

(OOC: Nil sent me a text saying that her Internet Provider comes on Monday! Crossing fingers)

"I can't change you...no one can change you but you."

"Shou may be a genius... but so am I. I won't be outdone by a flashy dressing brat who's fans tend to boarder on psychotic... and that's just putting it nicely, Ishi-san."

"You're handsome...and very tempting but I'm sure that it would not be a successful relationship outside of work."

Blue eyes shot open and, for a moment, Akihiko didn't register that he was in his own bedroom... in bed... There was no light in his room, and after a few moments he reached over to the nightstand and turned on a low lamp. His room came into view... his bed, overly large, empty save for himself.

'Right... Ruki's at Shou's...' the young tiger thought to himself, sighing softly as if to calm his racing heart.

He'd been dreaming... dreaming of when he'd first gotten Izzy signed as his manager... dreaming about a different self that he just simply didn't see nor seem to understand as well as of late.
A self that was, apparently, every bit as cunning and deceptive as his grandfather... a self that might have to return in some part to combat the rising tide...

But the self he was now... to lose that... would be to lose Izzy...
To lose everything he'd gone through to get to this point so far...

Sighing again, Narcissus pulled out a small journal from his bedside table. Lately, the musician had been recording his own thoughts inside... just on the off chance his brain misfired and all his memories vanished once more.
Least this way Izzy wouldn't get hit with a cell phone to the head again...

No idea what time it was... Akihiko just started writing...

Ruki's at Shou's today. I'm feeling, dare I say it, insecure about their relationship. Michi-kun told me it's childish to worry but... I can't help it. I know Shou needs someone right now because the loss of Hayato is a horrible tragedy... and I'm sure if anything odd did happen between them today... or last night, I'm not sure what the time is right now, I'll see some sign of it later this evening when Shou brings Ko over for pancakes. I just... From the moment Ruki met me, well almost from that moment, he's known I have problems trusting people. I trust him, I really do... it's Shou that I don't exactly trust WITH Ruki... And yet what did I do last night? Get drunk with Michi... -sigh- Nothing happened... we sang karaoke and joked around and then I pretty much carried him inside and dropped him off in the green guest room before getting a bath but... it's not like I didn't THINK about something happening between the two of us. Which just makes me feel guilty, which makes me feel even more insecure about Ruki and Shou! And yet there are far greater problems that should be taking precedence in my life right now than my own damn insecurities, be they emotional or physical! Yuuji's arranged for a few short shows where I'm spotlighted but where we can also introduce Michi and Ruki to the music scene properly... and I've got set practice today after a press conference... and while my mind SHOULD be on that and that alone since it's pretty much critical to the survival of Ohayou... I can't stop thinking about Hiroki's absence AND the new information that I think Ko is actually Yuuji's missing son. Why the hell have I never met Yuuji's son before anyway?! Was I so narcissistic as to care about nothing before now? Yes... yes I was... kami-sama what would things be like if I'd never opened up to Ruki? Would I have turned out as oji-san predicted and become just another Matsumoto Izo? I mean hell... I'd even planned out how to off the old man just months ago... and now here I am, wanting desperately to cling to what remains of my grandfather... even if he won't allow it. The old b*****d... throwing in the towel at this point... threatening Ruki... forbidding me to see him even on his death bed... what would Hiroki say if he were here right now? Would he condemn the man he'd pledged his life and loyalty for shunning me when I want to, finally, matter to those close to me? I can run Ohayou. I know I can. But I can't do it alone... I need Hiroki and Yuuji and... more than that... I need Ruki beside me. Because without Ruki... it's just... on some level... meaningless, isn't it?

Sighing again, Akihiko left the journal on the nightstand and got up, heading into the bathroom. The sudden waking from what he could only perceive, from remembered words, to be a nightmare... had left him a bit sweaty and that just wouldn't do for a press conference later.

Not realizing it, Izzy was actually home by this point... and turning the kitchen into a disaster zone.

So, when Narcissus got out of the shower, having heard the megane-clad man announce himself as being back, and re-entered his bedroom, towel wrapped around his waist (luckily he didn't have to rewash his hair), he was startled to see his manager's back as the man appeared to be making a beeline to get out of the room.

"Ruki... why am I staring at your back and thinking you're guilty of something?" Akihiko asked innocently, standing in the bathroom doorway, blue gaze fixed on his lover's back intently.

But guilty of what exactly?
The young tiger of Ohayou prayed it wasn't guilty of something he thought that perhaps only existed in his own nightmares and petty childish insecurities.








(((OOC: All the bits at the beginning of the Koy post were from conversations between Koy and Izzy prior or at the start of when Koy was living with Izzy after being disowned.)))














There was the smallest of pangs in Naoko's heart when Shou bid farewell, at least for now, to Izzy Lucky.
The pianist had thought that perhaps the megane-clad man might be the perfect match... finally... for the mercurial star. At least something in the blond's mind made him think that at least Izzy wouldn't betray Shou... or Sai... on a whim like Jun had.
Hayato...
But somehow, he wasn't sure or not if Narcissus was in bed with Lucky at this point, and if the two did have that sort of relationship, then it most likely wouldn't go well for Sai in the end.
Yet... Naoko felt so bad for his brother...
Sai deserved happiness, didn't he?
Didn't they all really?
Hadn't they been through enough?
Or was fate cruel enough to keep twisting the dagger in their backs until they finally crumbled under the pain?

Mentally shaking himself from that thought, amber eyes focused on Ko as the kid came running down the hall again.
"Don't worry, Shou-san... I won't let him know." he said, meaning to not allow Ko to find out about Jun.
In fact, with that in mind, he was prompted to later text Yamada and ask him for an edited .avi or .mp4 of Shou's NHK appearance... that way Ko wouldn't possibly ask why Shou wasn't introduced.
Watching as Shou put the hat on Ko's head and checked to make sure the boy had everything, Naoko couldn't help but smile. "Pancakes tonight, ne? That'll be fun. You'll bring me back some, ne Ko-kun?" he teased.
Of course the blond had every intention of staying at Shou's as long as he possibly could. Or rather, as long as the star would let him.
He couldn't deal with Ryu right now...
It'd destroy the last shreds of sanity the pianist possessed... and he knew it.
Taking Ko by the hand, Naoko headed out the door with the boy. "All mine, ne? Means I can tickle you whenever I want now." the blond teased, getting in a rib sneak attack before actually just picking the boy up and letting him sit on the pianist's shoulders as they walked to the car. "Let's get Shou-san and Yamada-san souvenirs from the aquarium, ne? What kinds of fish do you think they'd like?"








(((OOC: OMG I THOUGHT I LOST THIS WHOLE POST! My computer decided to put a popup window for "restart your computer because it was virally swept" up as I was typing so naturally... my typing was faster than my brain processing the tiny popup window at the bottom of the screen and it turned off my entire computer! Luckily... somehow firefox saved the whole post (which I had written all the way down to Naoko thinking about an .avi or .mp4 file...)! -sigh of relief-
ANYWAY... I promised a reason as to why Akihiko is so girly sometimes and here it is! Or at least here's how I see it...
Akihiko's part of a twin set and so naturally as a child he'd adopt some mannerisms of his sister unconsciously since they were insanely close. The problem is, when she died it caused a huge shock to his system and he buried away the parts of himself that were girly beneath the mask of Narcissus, along with most of his true self. After Izzy broke through that shell and got Koy to open up, he stopped hiding that other side of himself and so that's why it seems all these "wife" traits are popping up. They were always there, just hidden. No one really knew he liked cooking so much. He'd talked about it in interviews before but seriously, he's like a gourmet pro, man. He's pretty damn neat and tidy even if a maid does clean his house. It was like some part of Koy as a boy sucked in his sister's traits when she died as a way to somehow preserve her memory and that stuff was frowned upon mainly in the Koyasu family because he was, duh, a boy. So he just hid it all away. It really shows how comfortable he is with Izzy to let him see his own private little hidden world, even if they are lovers! I mean sure, he's dominant, and when he's Narcissus he's downright SM dominant, but Koy doesn't personally think of things like cooking or grocery shopping or things like that as gender specific, even if a lot of people do. All due to him being a child and trying to become, basically, both children in one even though he knew at the time that such a thing was impossible. But hey... the guy's sister was murdered and then Yuuji accidentally burned his house down with his parents inside in a mad attempt to get rid of Koy's sister's murderer... so... when you think about it... Koy's damn traumatized and it's a wonder he'd got any sanity.
And a part of my mind just thought... "I wonder what Koy x Az would be like..." -falls over- Probably like what Naoko x Kai was/would've been like, ne?)))

kawaita tsumori ame ga tsuzunaku katari kakeru
namida wa seijaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru





The burger was delicious. Even more delicious than he had imagined it possibly could be.

He had Kai to thank for him even being able to eat it. Without the guitarist standing steadfastly by his side, the kid would have either crumbled or gone running out the door. Instead, he signed autographs the best he could and talked to fans, lots of them not having understood his situation fully until seeing him up close.

That was the thing about being famous. Sometimes people couldn't relate or view you as a real person unless you were right there in front of them. By the time they were done, Chiyou had heard many apologies and felt the tears of several fans as they began to realize what was what. It moved him, to think that so many could be moved by him.



Once they crawled into bed, Hideki sat awake for a little while, just listening to the guitarist breathe. When it sounded like the older star was asleep, the smaller blond curled tight against him and smiled.

"Thank you...my hero." he whispered to the man who, he was sure, slept so soundly beside him.

That night, he had only the most pleasant of dreams.

So nice, he almost didn't want to wake up once the alarm clock started going off...




karada o tsutau ame ni furueru awai omoi
guren no yuuwaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru

As soon as his phone buzzed, Ryuukaze was looking down at the text, mumbling something to himself about ravioli and white wine sauce as he sent a message back confirming that he would, indeed, be at the restaurant at the appointed time.

For a moment, he almost doubted if he should be going out like this yet. Matsumoto hadn't formally approved of his new look yet...but his look was so fundamentally different now from what he was used to that he actually had doubts about whether or not anyone would even recognize him. Either way, he had to do what he had to do.

Trotting to his car, the vocalist slipped into the seat and turned on the radio, taking a moment to just breathe, think, and check his email. Nothing new that he needed to know, so he went to put his phone down...but paused.

I hope your day is going well. Let me know if you need anything. Don't be afraid to ask., Ryu sent the message to Kimura Kou's phone. He was rather certain nothing was wrong, or else Tsubaki would have certainly contacted him.

Putting the phone down, finally, he began his drive to the restaurant, making a pit-stop along the way to buy a few....things.

Once he arrived, Ishihara was already waiting for him in a private booth.

"Ishihara-san, I hope you haven't been waiting long. Thank you for coming, and I hope I haven't caused you too much trouble." the violinist smiled, though he felt bad that the injured man had to deal with him because he had been so damn careless.