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 Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 8:58 pm
Naoko didn't move... didn't say anything... just sat there, tears streaming down his face as he held himself tight, knuckles white from the strain.
He couldn't stop it!
He was trying... he really was... but it wouldn't stop!
It hurt...
It hurt so bad...
The blond felt a sob break from his chest, escaping his lips... and he knew he couldn't stop it then... really knew... as he doubled over on the bed and cried hard.
"Hayato-kun...." Naoko sobbed, calling the man by the name that he'd fallen in love with so long ago. He couldn't help it really... Jun had been Hayato... and Naoko had been his kitten...
It was why the blond hated being called a kitten by anyone else...
For as much as he hated Jun... he loved the man too. Hayato had been his first love... and until Ryu came along his only true love.
Collapsing onto his side on the bed, Naoko wasn't really even aware that Ryu was there. He heard the words... but he couldn't respond to them... it just hurt so much... his chest hurt so... so much...
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:04 pm
Blue eyes followed Izzy as he walked and scarfed down food. A smile of amusement on Akihiko's lips as he watched his lover eat as fast as he could before putting the plate in the sink.
But not even a goodbye kiss... was Ruki so eager to get to Shou that...
Sighing, Izzy long out of earshot, Akihiko's attention turned back to Michi. "No, you're supposed to keep my jealous rage from boiling over and keep me focused on the fiasco that we've before us." he said, no humor in his words as he took up his coffee and drank it down quick.
Standing up, Akihiko moved to make himself another cup of coffee, a sigh escaping his lips. "Am I a fool, Michi-kun?" the young tiger asked with a self-pitying smirk. "I mean really? 'Here Ruki, go to the arms of the man who's not only my musical rival but also my love rival.... no no, I'll be fine.'" twirling around he sat down at the table again, hot cup of coffee between his lithe fingers. "The old me would've held on and locked the damn door..."
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:12 pm
 ~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
Ryu knew this sound, the depth of this cry. He'd only cried like that once in his life. When he was a boy, and had been told that his family had not survived. It was the sound one made when they had suffered a true, deep loss. One that cut right down to the bone. One that left scars on the heart and mind. If he could, if he had that sort of power, Ryu would bring Jun back right now, just to ease Naoko's pain, if not the pain of Sai or Shou, or the hurt he felt inside, himself. That was something far beyond him, though. None of this had been in his control. Part of him wished that it were him that had died, his body lying cold and motionless in the hospital. If it had been him...Naoko would have still hurt...but...but...surely he wouldn't have suffered like this! Deep down, Ryuukaze knew he couldn't ever fill the holes left in Naoko by Jun. Only Jun, in the end, could ever undo the knots that had been wound tight inside the pianist. Only Jun, or Naoko himself. Unfortunately, Naoko wasn't capable of that, nor would he be any time soon. Silently, the akuma slid onto the bed and wrapped his arms around his lover. Nothing he could say would be of any help. He just lay there, his arms tight around the blond, willing to wait however long it took for this to pass. ~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:24 pm
Shivering hands grasped at Ryu's arms, holding the man close as the body pushed back to be enfolded in that warm embrace.
"Don't leave me... don't leave me... onegai..." Naoko sobbed, curling in against Ryu so quickly that it was as if the blond were trying to become one with the violinist.
Tear filled amber eyes locked onto his akuma's red gaze. "Onegai... I'm afraid... I... I..." a sob wrenched itself from Naoko's lips. "I don't know what I'll do and... and I... oh god, Ryu... it hurts so much... make it stop... onegai! MAKE HIM STOP!" the pianist literally screamed, collapsing against Ryuukaze, his body shivering violently.
But he hadn't said 'it' that second time... he'd said 'him'...
Inside the blond's head a war was waging. Jun's death hurt Naoko more than he could bear... his chest literally aching from the impact of that news. But in his mind... HE was happy... because it was just one more thing to use again the broken young man.
One more thing to help lock him away in the darkness... where it didn't have to hurt... and he didn't have to think about it... or to remember it...
If Naoko had a gun... in that instant... he wouldn't have hesitated to put it against his own head and pull the trigger.
Not out of sadness for the loss of Jun...
Not because of the pain he felt...
But simply because he was deathly afraid of what he'd do if the real him, the real loving and kind Naoko... simply didn't wake up...
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:28 pm
Let the Memories of the Evening be...
the first think that you think of------------------------------------------------}:-  Tanaka Michi
Physical Therapist
Fingertips...walking up your spine...a tongue sliding right behind..
"Whoa whoa whoa! Cool your jets, Mr. Jealousy in progress. He's not going to the arms of another man. He's going there to comfort a man who just lost his boyfriend. Big difference." Michi pointed out immediately as he poured more cream in his coffee.
"Look at what you're saying. You're saying without saying that you don't trust Ishi-san. That's where you're being a fool. Do you really have such a low opinion of your relationship that you think he's going to jump in the arms of Shou-san?" Sometimes Michi had to wonder what Akihiko was thinking when he went down these roads. Was it just to get it out of his system or did he really believe what he was saying?
Then Michi looked Akihiko squarely in the eyes, "He obviously trusts you...."
And for a second he paused and sipped his white coffee; his eyes drifting down to the surface before he continued. "....because he left you here alone with me."
-:{------------------------------------------------when you open up your smile and see me.
...Dark Star. What a shock, it was so surprising,
You looked so small and frail------------------------------------------------}:- Izzy Lucky
At times life can be so enlightening .uoy no nrut nac ti tuB
Izzy was in the Mercedes driving on the freeway to the car shop before Shou's place when he heard the phone ring. He tried to glance down but couldn't so he fumbled with one hand on the button., "I don't know who this is...but I'm driving. I can't talk right now. Send me a text or voice message." He hit the button fast and put his hand on the wheel again so he didn't have an accident.
He probably could have checked the number later but he hadn't put a new voice message on his phone yet and he was afraid whoever called might worry about just getting a phone number and a beep.
-:{------------------------------------------------I didn't know what to do
I grabbed the tiger by the tail!
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:34 pm
"Yeah there's a difference... he knows I'm to busy to screw around with you." Akihiko pointed out, leaning back in the chair with a sigh. "Then there's the 'not supposed to get too physical' aspect of what the doctor said and yeah, we ignored that rule once... but Shou doesn't exactly have that rule and... damn it, Michi, I trust Izzy. I just don't trust Shou. Happy?"
Yes, the young tiger was very jealous... because he understood how powerful beautiful men worked... Shou was one, just like he himself... they exuded a certain air... a certain fragrance that seemed to draw people to them.
Izzy was drawn to Shou... and Akihiko hated it.
Of course he'd never tell Shou or Izzy that... only Michi because in all reality, Tanaka was his friend before a lover.
"I have confidence issues lately, okay? Izzy not being right HERE makes me nervous... especially if Shou's got a stalker. I'm sad about Hayato-san... but..." he bit his lip, blue eyes averted from Michi's own gaze. "Comfort can easily turn into something else if left unchecked..."
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:47 pm
~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
"Naoko! I...I'd never leave you...I..." he hadn't expected Naoko to suddenly panic like this! The tears were one thing...but...it was too terribly obvious where this was going. Rolling Naoko over, Ryu climbed atop the blond, letting his body weigh down on his lover just enough to be able to subdue the pianist if need be. "Listen to me, my beloved, I am here, and you are here." the akuma's velvety voice soothed. "Talk to me, Naoko. Tell me you love me. Tell me you'll stay, because I need you, Naoko. I do. I'm hurting too, so please...please stay. I won't leave you, Naoko, so please don't leave me." the violinist pleaded. He was determined to be there for the pianist, as he'd promised over and over again that he would. But...there had to come a point where he would be more than Naoko's shield, more than a sword to cut away at the nightmares that seemed to always be waiting in the shadows. He was a human too...and, right now, he didn't think he could make it through being left alone with someone he didn't know, a devil wearing the face of his angel, again. ~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:55 pm
Naoko couldn't help straining under Ryu's pinning grasp. "I don't want to leave but it hurts..." he cried, weakly trying to get out of his akuma's grip and yet failing miserably. "It won't stop... I can't make him stop... He thinks it's funny... thinks... thinks you look good crying... thinks you should cry all the time and he... he wants to make you cry and god please... please I don't want him to..." amber eyes, so full of sadness and fear, looking up at the violinist... pleading with him for help. "Please... please, Ryu, onegai... onegai... don't let him... I just... I... I can't... onegai..."
For a second, it looked like the blond might've passed out. But then he took a deep breath and opened his eyes again.
"Medicine. I... Give it to me. Maybe he'll stop and I... God, I can't even hear myself think, please!!! Do something!" the younger Oumori brother screamed.
He couldn't even properly mourn a man who he'd spent years loving!
Not with the sick twisted entity within taking humor in it and using it to smash against what little sanity Naoko still clung to.
He had Sai. He had Ko. He had Ryu.
He'd protect them from the vicious beast in his head... or he'd die trying.
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:56 pm
Let the Memories of the Evening be...
the first think that you think of------------------------------------------------}:- Tanaka Michi
Physical Therapist
Fingertips...walking up your spine...a tongue sliding right behind..
Michi blinked and then leaned back in his chair and stared at Akihiko for a moment, "I thought that you were monogamous now. Or has he changed his mind? Or have you changed yours?" It was a pointed set of questions but Akihiko's words were becoming quite cruel about the man he supposedly loved.
He shook his head and set his cup down, "There isn't any difference. Because what if I want to screw around with you? What if I want to ignore those rules? Hm?" He didn't say that was really the thoughts that beat within his chest but he could play them against Akihiko's words and play the tiger's own game.
"I'm sure you do have confidence issues but putting down your partner isn't the right way of building yourself up and you know it." Michi frowned and then picked up his cup again wondering what time Nikki would arrive because Akihiko needed a distraction badly.
-:{------------------------------------------------when you open up your smile and see me.
...Dark Star.
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:59 pm
kawaita tsumori ame ga tsuzunaku katari kakeru namida wa seijaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeruAh well....that hadn't gone as planned. Still, it was good to hear Ruki's voice, even if for just a second, and even if the man didn't know that it was even him he was speaking to. Putting his phone back on the stand, Hideki got up and rifled around until he found a pair of pants, hopping into them quickly. Too big. Kai's pants. Ah well... Holding them up with one hand, the small blond trotted downstairs and began to make coffee...which he managed to spill a good bit of coffee grounds and some sugar in the doing. At least he got the coffee made. Grabbing a mug from the cabinet, it took Chiyou a good minute to figure out how to pour it, until he decided to hold the cup over the sink and carefully pour until he heard the cup filling. Carefully, he made his way back upstairs with the cup of coffee, which was only half-full, and knocked on the bathroom door. "I brought you some coffee, Kai-bear. Listen...I'm sorry you're upset. You're right...it isn't fair. You're a person, not a commodity. You can't just be traded around like stock. Still...I remember how you performed at the charity event. You're amazing. Now's your chance to really get out there and shine. I believe in you, ya know..." karada o tsutau ame ni furueru awai omoi guren no yuuwaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:01 pm
"I am. He hasn't. I haven't." Akihiko answered those questions almost like a school boy in trouble with the principal.
But then when Michi pointed out the lack of differences... "If you wanted to ignore the rules I'd tell you no... that I'm with Ruki now. And I know... I know... he'd tell Shou the same thing. I'm being paranoid... aren't I?" he asked, sulking for a moment before heading over to the kitchen counter and cutting a thin slice of cake.
The sugar would make him feel better.
Narcissus indicated that he'd cut a piece for Michi if he wanted it too. "I really do trust Ruki. More than anyone. And I trust you almost as much... which, you know, coming from a man with trust issues is really a compliment. I'm just... not used to monogamous relationships... hell, I'm not used to a normal relationship period. And here I've got so much on my mind and I keep worrying about Ruki! I KNOW he won't do anything... yet I'm still acting like a jealous paranoid lovesick fool..."
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:11 pm
(((OOC: I'll be out of town til Wednesday night but I'll try to post tomorrow night from my laptop if I get the chance. I'm staying with my aunt and uncle so who knows, hahaha. So don't think I've fallen off the world! Latest I'll post again is Thursday. Unless something catastrophic happens in which case... well... I use my 3DS to post in here that something catastrophic happened... hahaha!))) ~ ~ ~
As if on cue, Nakai opened the door. With one hand he took the half-full coffee up and with the other he wrapped it around Chiyou's waist and pulled the 'kid' close.
"I know... I'm just upset at whoever is calling the shots. Well and a little at Izzy for not telling me anything... It's not your fault. It's not Nezumi-san's fault." he let Chiyou into the bathroom, sipping the coffee and finding it a bit too hot right now. "I'm surprised you managed this one without getting coffee all over... my... pants?" one eyebrow quirked up in confusion but then he let that slide and shook his head. "We've got five hours to get to work... I'm assuming the car will be here in four. Some vacation... ne?"
Yes, Nakai was still very VERY pissed off. But he wouldn't be pissed at Chiyou. He'd vented and exploded enough for the time being. He'd save the rest for Nezumi!
"Neither of us are commodities, Hi-chan. Don't you forget that. WE are not someone else's meal ticket. WE are musicians and vocalists and.... somehow I get the feeling that Ohayou's going to try to market your blindness to the masses SO..." he bopped Chiyou on the nose to emphasize his point. "You need to show them that you're not a case to be pitied. I don't pity you. I like you. If you could see I'd still be right here beside you. They need to realize that you haven't lost your voice. Because I'll be damned, and I'm sure Izzy's be damned, to see you being pushed just to draw in the teary-eyed girls."
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:13 pm
~( Lonely ) Mayotta nara~
~( Try again ) Nando datte~
~Yarinaosu koto dekiru kara~
"Naoko....it doesn't matter what he thinks..." the violinist looked down at Naoko, his crimson eyes glimmering in the dark, full of warmth and love. That was all he had left to give. Love. "All that matters...is what you and I think. What we know and what we choose. Tell him no, Naoko." Ryuukaze leaned his face further down, nuzzling against the vanilla skin of the pianist. "If you want your medicine, I'll give it to you. I love you. There. That's it. That's your medicine, Na-kun. My love. I can promise you, nothing in this world, no pill, no chemical, no therapy or treatment, could possibly be stronger than the love I have for you." warm lips fell upon the panicked, pleading lips of Naoko, kissing them quiet. Ryu couldn't very well give Naoko any more actual medication than he already had that morning...but he was giving him all he had of himself in an effort to calm those stormy waters. Summoning up all of his strength, the akuma steeled his determination. It wasn't over yet, and as weary as he was, he wasn't going to just let this false Naoko come and walk all over the sacred bonds between friends and lovers. ~( I’m here )~ Soba ni iru wa~
~( Believe me ) Osorenai de~
~Shinjiau koto....~
~FOR YOU~
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:22 pm
Amazingly, Naoko stopped struggling completely as those warm lips claimed his own. The blond sank into the bed, totally calmed by the tenderness of his dear akuma.
When the kiss ended, the younger Oumori brother blinked, looking up at Ryu in confusion for a second.
"Well uh..." he coughed slightly. "That... that shut him up..." Naoko said with a hint of a smile before sniffing back tears. "Gomen nasai... my chest hurts so um... could you... well... get up? I mean it REALLY hurts... my heart's going a mile a minute too..."
Naoko was fine. For now at least. And that was the important thing. Of course the blond knew the shadow would rear it's head again if he dwelt too long on the passing of Jun.
"I... I can't mourn for him right now... it's... bad, Ryu-kun. So um... can... can we uh... do something else? Onegai?" he asked, trying to desperately get his mind off of Jun's death.
At least until he COULD take some medication again. No doubt the first dose had been less effective having been in a bottle of water...
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:29 pm
kawaita tsumori ame ga tsuzunaku katari kakeru namida wa seijaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeruA feathery sigh fell from Chiyou's lips the moment he felt Kai's strong hand pulling him close. Almost on instinct, he nuzzled against the taller man, breathing in that sweet musk that so intoxicated him every time he got near. "It's ok that you're upset, but don't let it get you down.If you've gotta be mad, then channel it into something you love to do." Hideki laughed, his voice like the twinkling of bells. "Oh, yeah...well, I did my best with the coffee...and by the time I realized I'd put on your pants, I kinda didn't want to bother with taking them off again and searching out my own." Turning around, the young vocalist shook his backside and teased, "So...whaddaya think? These make my butt look big?" "Mm...yeah. Some vacation, but...it could have been worse. I'm glad that I got to spend it with you, at least..." happy silver eyes regarded the guitarist with a genuine and sweet expression. "You're really just so awesome, Kai. Because of you, I'm finally beginning to understand just who I really am. We'll both shine again. I know it." karada o tsutau ame ni furueru awai omoi guren no yuuwaku ni...samayou yoru ga akeru
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